Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ngaba Ndiya Kulandela Ikhondo Lomnakwethu?

“UYA kulandela kanye ekhondweni lomnakwenu! Lumka, kungenjalo uya kugqibela unjengaye!”

Ukuba unomnakwenu okanye udadewenu ophambukileyo endleleni elungileyo—mhlawumbi owagxothwayo ekhaya, owavalelwa entolongweni, okanye owagxothwayo kwibandla lamaKristu—la mazwi abuhlungu usenokuba akuqali ukuweva. Abazali, abafundisi-ntsapho, izihlobo ezikunqwenelela okulungileyo, kwanabanye babahlobo bakho abasenyongweni basenokuwaphindaphinda la mazwi izihlandlo ezininzi. Maxa wambi usenokuvakalelwa kukuba abanye abahlobo bakho bayakuphepha.

Kambe ke, ukuba nomntakwenu olandela ikhondo elitenxileyo kungamava abuhlungu. Intombazana egama linguCarol enomnakwayo owasuswayo kubudlelane (owagxothwayo) nebandla lamaKristu, ikhumbula oku: “Ndandisondele ngakumbi kumnakwethu kunaye nabani na ongomnye. Xa wayekayo ukuba ngumKristu, oku kwandichaphazela ngokunzulu.”a UBecky, owayeneminyaka eli-15 ubudala xa umsakwabo wasuswayo kubudlelane, ngokufanayo ukhumbula oku: “Ndisalukhumbula usuku awandixelela ngalo ukuba ugxothiwe. Kwathi xhoko ngaphakathi yaye ndaba buhlungu gqitha. Ndaziva ndikhohlisekile. Yintoni le asenze yona?”

Kwakhona kubuhlungu ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano olukhululekileyo ubani ebelunandipha nomntakwabo omdala. UBecky ukhalaza esithi: “Sasisondelelene gqitha. Ndandingasenakukwazi ukuthetha naye nokwenza izinto kunye naye.” Ukongezelela kuloo lahleko ludano lokubona uthile obukhangele kuye njengomzekelo esilela. Oselula ogama linguMarvin uthi ngokuphathelele umkhuluwa wakhe: “Besikhangele kuye. Kodwa ngoku akanguye omnye wethu.”

Noko ke, eyona nto ibuhlungu kunazo zonke, kukuthiwa mbende luloyiko lokuba umiselwe kwangaphambili ukuba ube njengaye.

Ngaba Ufanele Ulandele Inkokeli?

Kolunye uhlolisiso, ulutsha olungama-64,9 ekhulwini lwavuma ukuba lwaluphenjelelwa ngamandla ngumntwana omdala ekhaya. Enye intombazana yathi: “Umnakwethu omdala . . . wayenempembelelo enamandla gqitha ebomini bam. Wayesoloko ebonakalisa umdla okhethekileyo kum. Sasihamba nabahlobo bakhe endibonisa iindawo, wandifundisa ukubhala, ukubopha izihlangu zam, yaye wayesoloko efumaneka xa ndinengxakana engephi.”—Adolescents and Youth, nguDorothy Rogers.

Ngoko, ngokutsho kombhali uJoy P. Gage, xa umntwana ohlonelwayo ngabanye ekhaya evukela, “ngokunokwenzeka abakwishumi elivisayo banokukhathazeka kakhulu ngokweemvakalelo.” Ubalisa ibali lentombazana ebizwa ngokuba nguLinda eyayikhangele kumnakwabo omdala njengomzekelo. Xa ngokungalindelekanga washiya umfazi wakhe, umzekelo kaLinda awayekhangele kuwo ngentlonelo “wanyamalala.” UJoy Gage uthi: “Lo mnakwabo awayeziva enembopheleleko engakumbi yokumxelisa wayengasakufanelekelanga ukuxeliswa.” Ngenxa yoko, “uLinda waba nomsindo. Wakwagutyungelwa luloyiko.” ULinda waqalisa ukulinga ukusela utywala.—When Parents Cry.

Ukusabela ngokugabadele ngolo hlobo akunto ingaqhelekanga. Enyanisweni, incwadi ethi How to Survive Your Child’s Rebellious Teens, ebhalwe nguMyron Brenton ibonisa ukuba “ngomlinganiselo omkhulu ngakumbi okanye omncinane ngakumbi, abanye abantwana entsatsheni basoloko bechatshazelwa yihambo yemvukelo yomntakwabo.” UBrenton uchaza ukuba maxa wambi abaselula abaseleyo entsatsheni “baziva besongelwe. Benoloyiko bazibuza oku: ‘Ngaba oku kungenzeka kum? Ngaba ndiya kuze ndenze le mpambano? Ngaba nam ndiphambene ngolu hlobo?’”

Khetha Umendo Owahlukileyo

Noko ke, ngaba nayiphi na yezi zinto ithetha ukuba wena umiselwe kwangaphambili ukulandela umzekelo ombi womntakwenu? Akunjalo konke konke. Unamandla okuzikhethela ikhondo oya kuhamba ngalo. (Thelekisa uYoshuwa 24:15.) Ulutsha oluninzi oloyik’ uThixo lwamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile lwenza kanye oko.

Ngokomzekelo, khawucinge ngoYakobi owayeselula. Umnakwabo awayeliwele naye, uEsawu, wayengumntu ‘owayengazixabisanga izinto ezingcwele.’ (Hebhere 12:16, NW) Noko ke, uYakobi waba yindoda yokholo egqibeleleyo. (Genesis 25:27; Hebhere 11:21) Oonyana ababini abancinane baka-Aron, uElazare noItamare, bahlala bethembekile enkonzweni kaYehova xa abakhuluwa babo, uNadabhi noAbhihu, babulawayo nguYehova. Kuyabonakala ukuba aba bakhuluwa babo babulawa ngenxa yokugabadela kwimisebenzi yabo yobubingeleli ngoxa babephantsi kwempembelelo yotywala. Kodwa uElazare noItamare abazange balinganise abakhuluwa babo, yaye bobabini banandipha amalungelo okuba ngababingeleli bakaYehova uThixo.—Levitikus 10:1-11.

Ngokunjalo nawe unokukhetha ikhondo lokuziphatha lokuhlonel’ uThixo uze uphephe ukuzisa intlungu enzulu kuwe nakubazali bakho.

‘Bayandiphepha’

Sekunjalo, uCarol ukhalaza ngelithi: “Wonk’ ubani ulindele ukuba ndenze impazamo. Bambi abazali bade bacinge ukuba ndiya kuba nempembelelo embi ebantwaneni babo.” Mhlawumbi maxa wambi nawe uvakalelwa ngaloo ndlela. Kodwa oko kusenokubonakala ngathi kukucutshwa okungenanceba ngokufuthi kuba yinkxalabo ebangelwa yintshukumisa elungileyo. Noko ke, njengoko bekubona uqhubeka ugcine ihambo elungileyo, inkxalabo yabo ngokuqhelekileyo iya kuncipha—Thelekisa eyoku-1 kaPetros 2:12.

Noko ke, kutheni ngequbuliso bambi abahlobo bam becezela kude? Mhlawumbi ubukhulu becala, oku akubangelwa kukuba bengathembanga, kodwa nje kungenxa yokuba bengayazi into amabayithethe. Basenokuziva bemadolw’ anzima ukuthetha nawe, beqonda ukuba wena nentsapho yakowenu niye neva intlungu egqithiseleyo, mhlawumbi boyikela ukuba baya kuthetha into ephosakeleyo. Kutheni ungenzi oko unako ukuphelisa le ngxaki ngokuqalisa incoko? Zama ukuba ngozolileyo nonobubele ukuba abanye bakubuza imibuzo engathi iyatsarha, njengothi, “Kwenzeke ntoni kumnakwenu?”

Kuyavunywa ukuba, bambi basenokubonakala becezela kude kuwe. Yaye xa abantu bekuphatha njengomntu ombi, usenokuhendelwa ekubeni uvakalelwe kukuba mawusele uqhubela phambili wenze izinto ezimbi. Noko ke, hlala ukhumbula, amazwi akumaGalati 6:9 athi: “Ke ekwenzeni okulungileyo masingethi amandla; kuba sovuna ngexesha elililo, ukuba asityhafi.”

Ngokuqhelekileyo, isihlandlo sokungakhululeki kamsinya siyadlula. UBecky oselula uthi: “Ekuhambeni kwexesha abantu baqalisa ukundiphatha ngendlela ababesenza ngayo kwixa elidluleyo.” Wongezelela esithi: “Into yokuba bonke abahlobo bam bengazange bacezele kude kum yaba luncedo olukhulu. Babekulungele ukundinceda.” Inkoliso yamaKristu okhonza nawo iya kukulungela ukukunceda ngokufanayo. Anokwenza okuninzi ukukunceda ukuba ‘wenzele iinyawo zakho imizila ethe tye.’—Hebhere 12:13.

Yithethe Indlela Ovakalelwa Ngayo

Liyinyaniso elokuba, maxa wambi usenokuvakalelwa njengomfana ekuthiwa nguFred owayenomnakwabo owasuswayo kubudlelane. Uyavuma esithi: “Ndandizivalela ngaphakathi iimvakalelo zam. Kodwa ndafumanisa ukuba akuzange kundincede mna okanye abazali bam ukuyigcina ngaphakathi indlela endandivakalelwa ngayo.” Ewe, kuphephe ukuzahlula, ngokukodwa kubazali bakho. (IMizekeliso 18:1) UMarvin unikela icebiso elilungileyo xa esithi: “Zityand’ igila kuthile. Ufanele wenjenjalo!”

Ngokomzekelo, ngaba bambi ebandleni babonakala bekuphatha ngendlela engabonakalisi nkathalo? Abazali bakho banokukwazi ukukunceda ukuba ubenza bayiphaphele loo ngxaki. Okanye mhlawumbi ukhathazekile kuba abazali bakho benikela yonk’ ingqalelo yabo kumntakwenu otenxileyo baze bazityeshele ezakho iintswelo. Musa ukuziphatha ngendlela engeyiyo ukuze utsalele ingqalelo yabo kuwe. Kunoko, thetha nabo ngokunyanisekileyo, ubenze bayazi indlela ovakalelwa ngayo.

UFred wayelisebenzisa ngokunengenelo ithuba lokuqhutywa kwesifundo seBhayibhile sentsapho ekwenzeni oku. “Ukuba ndinengxaki, bendilisebenzisa elo thuba ukuze ndiwandlale umcimbi phambi koTata noMama.” Ngeengxubusho ezilolo hlobo usenokuncedakala ekuqondeni indlela loo meko ebakhathaze ngayo ngokufanayo abazali bakho. Kwangaxeshanye, baya kuyiqonda ngakumbi indlela ovakalelwa ngayo yaye mhlawumbi baya kuhlengahlengisa ukuze banikele ingqalelo engakumbi yobuqu kuwe.

Kambe ke, asilulo lonke ulutsha olunabazali aboyik’ uThixo. Ukuba leyo yimeko efanayo nakuwe, zama ukuzityand’ igila kumKristu oqolileyo. (IMizekeliso 17:17) Kukwaluncedo ukuzigcina uxakekile kwimisebenzi yokomoya. UMarvin uthi: “Ufanele ubonise ukuba ngenene akufuni ukuphethukela ekwenzeni okubi. Yaye xa uzigcina ukhuthele yaye ngenene ubonisa ukuba ufuna inyaniso, ngokunokwenzeka ngakumbi abazalwana bakho abangamaKristu baya kukulungela ukukuxhasa.”

Kuyo nayiphi na into eyenzekayo, usoloko ufumana inkxaso evela kuYihlo osemazulwini. (INdumiso 27:10) INdumiso 62:8 ithi: “Phalazani intliziyo yenu phambi kwakhe.” Unokuba njengegwiba lokwenene kuwe. Uyayiqonda ngokunyanisekileyo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngaphakathi, naxa abanye bekuqonda okanye bekugweba ngendlela ephosakeleyo.—1 Samuweli 16:7.

Unokuba Ngowahlukileyo

Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Onobuqili ubona into embi, azifihle.” (IMizekeliso 22:3) Ewe, ukuba mhlawumbi ukhe walingelwa ukuba ulandele umntakwenu, cinga ngeziqhamo zekhondo lakhe elibi. UBecky uthi: “Ukubona imiphumo yezenzo zomsakwethu kwandinceda ukuba ndikuphephe ukuzifaka enkathazweni.”

UFred, uMarvin noBecky—ekucatshulwe amazwi abo kweli nqaku—benza ngokwahlukileyo koko kwenziwa ngabantakwabo abatenxileyo; ngamnye kubo wayenosukelo lokwenza inkqubela kubulungiseleli bamaKristu. Kuthekani ngawe? Usenokuqhubeka umthanda umntakwenu. Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba uphile njengaye. Unokuzenzela olwakho ukhetho. Unokuba ngowahlukileyo.

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