Ukuba Ngutata Ofanelekileyo

INQAKU elaliphathelele ukuwohloka kweentsapho elapapashwa kwiphephancwadi iEconomist lavula ngala mazwi abangel’ umdla: “Ukwenza abantwana kulula, kodwa ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo akuyondlwan’ iyanetha.”

Ngoxa zininzi izinto ekunzima ukuzenza ebomini, enye yezona zinzima—nephakathi kwezona zibalulekileyo—kukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo. Tata ngamnye ufanele azabalazele ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo kuba oko kuchaphazela impilo-ntle nolonwabo lwentsapho yakhe.

Isizathu Sokuba Kungabi Lula

Ngeliphandle, eyona nto ibangela ukuba kungabi lula ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo kukungafezeki—kwabazali nabantwana—esakuzuza njengelifa. IBhayibhile ithi: “Intliziyo yomntu ityekele ebubini kwasebutsheni bakhe.” (Genesis 8:21) Ngenxa yoko, omnye umbhali weBhayibhile wathi: “Uma wandikhawulela esonweni.” (INdumiso 51:5; Roma 5:12) Utyekelo lokwenza ububi olubangelwa sisono esasizuza njengelifa asikokuphela komqobo owenza kube nzima ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo.

Eli hlabathi okanye le nkqubo yezinto ngomnye umqobo omkhulu. Ngoba? Kuba njengoko iBhayibhile isitsho, “ihlabathi liphela lisemandleni ongendawo,” obizwa “ngokuba nguMtyholi, noSathana.” Kwakhona iBhayibhile ithi uSathana ‘nguthixo wale nkqubo yezinto.’ Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba uYesu athi kubalandeli bakhe bafanele babe njengaye, ‘bangabi yonxalenye yehlabathi’!—1 Yohane 5:19; ISityhilelo 12:9; 2 Korinte 4:4; Yohane 17:16.

Ukuze ube ngutata ofanelekileyo, kubalulekile ukuba uhlale ukhumbula ukuba asifezekanga nokuba kukho uSathana uMtyholi yaye eli hlabathi lilawulwa nguye. Le asiyomiqobo nje ithelekelelwayo. Yimiqobo yokwenene! Kodwa umntu unokubhenela phi xa efuna ukufunda indlela yokoyisa le miqobo aze abe ngutata ofanelekileyo?

Imizekelo Yobuthixo

Ukuze utata afumane uncedo lokoyisa le miqobo ikhankanywe ngasentla, unokubhenela eBhayibhileni. Iqulethe imizekelo emihle gqitha. UYesu wachaza owona ubalaseleyo kuloo mizekelo xa wafundisa abafundi bakhe ukuba bathandaze ngale ndlela: “Bawo wethu osemazulwini.” Xa ichaza uBawo wethu osemazulwini, iBhayibhile ithi: “UThixo uluthando.” Utata ufanele awujonge njani lo mzekelo wothando? Umpostile uPawulos wabongoza wathi: ‘Yibani ngabaxelisa uThixo, nize niqhubeke nihamba eluthandweni.’—Mateyu 6:9, 10; 1 Yohane 4:8; Efese 5:1, 2.

Ukuba ungutata, phawula into onokuyifunda kwindlela uThixo awaqhubana ngayo noNyana wakhe, uYesu. UMateyu 3:17 usixelela ukuba xa uYesu wayebhaptizwa, kwavakala ilizwi likaThixo liphuma emazulwini lisithi: “Lo nguNyana wam, oyintanda, endikholisiweyo nguye.” Yintoni esiyifundayo koku?

Okokuqala, cinga ngempembelelo okunayo emntwaneni ukuva uyise eqhayisa esithi, ‘Lo ngunyana wam’ okanye ‘Le yintombi yam.’ Abantwana bayavuya xa befumana ingqalelo yomzali, ingakumbi xa benconywa. Oku kusenokubashukumisela ukuba benze izinto eziya kubenza bahlale benconywa.

Okwesibini, xa uThixo wayechaza indlela avakalelwa ngayo ngoYesu wathi ngunyana wakhe “oyintanda.” Ukuva ukuba uYise uyamthanda kufanele ukuba kwamvuyisa gqitha uYesu. Nabakho abantwana kuya kubakhuthaza ukuva ukuba uyabathanda—uchitha nabo ixesha, ubanika ingqalelo yakho yaye ubakhathalele.

Okwesithathu, uThixo wathi kuNyana wakhe: “Ndikholisiwe nguwe.” (Marko 1:11) Le yenye yezinto ezibalulekileyo afanele azenze utata, ukuxelela abantwana bakhe ukuba uyakholiswa ngabo. Yinyaniso ukuba ngamathub’ athile umntwana uya kwenza iimpazamo. Sonke siyazenza. Kodwa njengotata, ngaba ukhangela amathuba okuxelela abantwana bakho ukuba uyakholiswa zizinto ezintle abazenzayo okanye abazithethayo?

UYesu wafunda izinto ezininzi kuYise wasemazulwini. Ngoxa wayelapha emhlabeni, wabonisa ngamazwi nangezenzo indlela uYise avakalelwa ngayo ngabantwana bakhe basemhlabeni. (Yohane 14:9) Kwanaxa wayexakekile yaye exinezelekile, uYesu wayezipha ithuba lokuhlala aze ancokole nabantwana. Wathi kubafundi bakhe: “Bayekeni abantwana abaselula beze kum; ningabaleli.” (Marko 10:14) Ngaba nina bobawo ningalandela umzekelo kaYehova uThixo noNyana wakhe?

Kubalulekile Ukumisela Umzekelo Omhle

Kubaluleke gqitha ukuba ubamisele umzekelo omhle abantwana bakho. Umzamo wakho ‘wokuqhubeka ubakhulisela kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova’ uya kuba nempembelelo encinane ukuba wena kuqala akuluthobeli uqeqesho lukaThixo yaye akuphili ngalo. (Efese 6:4) Ukanti, ngoncedo lukaThixo unokoyisa nawuphi na umqobo onokubangela ukuba ungabakhulisi ngendlela efanelekileyo abantwana bakho.

Khawuqwalasele umzekelo kaViktor Gutschmidt, iNgqina likaYehova elihlala kummandla owawusakuba yiSoviet Union. Ngo-Oktobha 1957 wagwetyelwa ukuthothoza entolongweni iminyaka elishumi ngenxa yokuthetha ngeenkolelo zakhe. Wayeshiya ngasemva iintombi zakhe ezincinane ezimbini nomfazi wakhe uPolina. Ngoxa wayeseluvalelweni, wayevumelekile ukubhalela intsapho yakhe iileta, kodwa wayengafanelanga athethe nantoni na ngoThixo okanye ngonqulo. Nangona wayejamelene nobu bunzima, uViktor wayezimisele ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo kwaye wayesazi ukuba kubaluleke gqitha ukufundisa abantwana bakhe ngoThixo. Ngoko wenza ntoni?

UViktor uthi: “Ndafumana izinto endandinokuthetha ngazo kwiphephancwadi leSoviet elithi Young Naturalist nelithi Nature. Ndandidla ngokuzoba imifanekiso yezilwanyana neyabantu kwiposkhadi ndize ndibalise ibali okanye amava athile aphathelele indalo.”

UPolina uthi: “Xa sifumana ezi poskhadi, sasizinxibelelanisa nezinto ekuthethwa ngazo eBhayibhileni. Ngokomzekelo, xa zibonisa ubuhle bendalo, amahlathi okanye imilambo, ndandifunda uIsaya isahluko 65,” esithetha ngesithembiso sikaThixo sokwenza lo mhlaba ube yiparadesi.

Intombi kaViktor, uYulia uthi: “Wayesandula ke uMama athandaze kunye nathi yaye sasidla ngokulila. La makhadi aba nendima ebalulekileyo ekukhuleni kwethu.” UPolina uthi ngenxa yoko, “iintombi zethu zamthanda kakhulu uThixo zisencinane.” Iqhuba njani le ntsapho ngoku?

UViktor uthi, “Ngoku zombini iintombi zam zitshate nabadala abangamaKristu yaye zombini zineentsapho ezomeleleyo ngokomoya nabantwana abakhonza uYehova ngokuthembeka.”

Ukuba ngumzekelo omhle akusoloko kufuna ubuchule kuphela, kukwafuna nomgudu. Abantwana basenokuchukumiseka xa bebona uyise ezama ngandlela zonke. Omnye umfana owachitha iminyaka emininzi ekwinkonzo yexesha elizeleyo wancoma uyise wathi, “Maxa wambi uTata wayedla ngokuqhuba isifundo sentsapho seBhayibhile edinwe eyimfe evela emsebenzini yaye oko kwasinceda sabona ukubaluleka kwaso.”

Ngokucacileyo, ukumisela umzekelo omhle—ngamazwi nangezenzo—kubalulekile ukuze ube ngutata ofanelekileyo. Ufanele uzabalazele ukwenza oku ukuze ubone ubunyani bomzekeliso weBhayibhile othi: “Yiqeqeshe inkwenkwe ngokwendlela yayo; naxa indala ayisayi kuphambuka kuyo.”—IMizekeliso 22:6.

Ngoko khumbula ukuba, asiyonto oyithethayo nje kuphela ebalulekileyo; into ebaluleke ngokukhethekileyo yileyo uyenzayo—umzekelo obamisela wona. Ingcali ngemfundo yabantwana yaseKhanada yabhala yathi: “Eyona ndlela yokwenza abantwana bethu bathobele [njengoko sifuna benjenjalo] kukubabonisa indlela abafanele bakwenze ngayo oko.” Eneneni, ukuba ufuna abantwana bakho bazixabise izinto zokomoya, kubalulekile ukuba nawe uzixabise.

Chitha Ixesha Nabo!

Abantwana bakho bafanele bawubone umzekelo wakho omhle. Oko kutheth’ ukuba ufanele uchithe ixesha nabo—ixesha elininzi, ingabi yimizuzu nje embalwa. Ngobulumko, thobela icebiso leBhayibhile lokuba ‘uzongele ixesha,’ oko kukuthi, zincame izinto ezingenamsebenzi uze uchithe ixesha nabo. (Efese 5:15, 16) Ngokwenene, yintoni ebaluleke ukodlula abantwana bakho? Ngaba ngumabonwakude omkhulu, zizinto zokudlala igalufa ezisetyenziswa ngabadlali abaphambili, yindlu entle okanye ngumsebenzi wakho wokuziphilisa?

“Ukuba ootata abachithi ixesha nabantwana babo, baya kuzisola kamva.” Ootata abanabantwana abaziphethe kakubi okanye abangazikhathalelanga izinto zokomoya badla ngokuzisola. Badla ngokuthi abazange bachithe ixesha nabantwana babo, kanye xa babemfuna ngamandla utata.

Khumbula ukuba elona xesha lokucinga ngemiphumo yokhetho lwakho kuxa abantwana bakho besebancinane. IBhayibhile ithi abantwana bakho “balilifa elivela kuYehova,” imbopheleleko oyinikwe nguThixo. (INdumiso 127:3) Ngoko ungaze ulibale ukuba uya kuphendula kuThixo ngabo!

Uncedo Luyafumaneka

Utata ofanelekileyo ukulungele ukwamkela naliphi na icebiso eliza kunceda abantwana bakhe. Emva kokuba ingelosi ixelele umfazi kaManowa ukuba uza kuba nomntwana, uManowa wathandaza kuThixo wathi: “Nceda, umzise kuthi kwakhona aze asiyalele oko simele sikwenze emntwaneni oya kuzalwa.” (ABagwebi 13:8, 9) Luncedo olunjani awayelufuna uManowa, abalufunayo nabazali namhlanje? Makhe sibone.

UBrent Burgoyne, umfundisi-ntsapho kwiUniversity of Cape Town, eMzantsi Afrika wathi: “Esinye sezipho ezibalulekileyo umntu anokusipha umntwana wakhe kukumfundisa imilinganiselo yokuziphatha.” Into yokuba abantwana kufuneka bafundiswe imilinganiselo yokuziphatha inokubonwa kwingxelo eyapapashwa kwiDaily Yomiuri yaseJapan, eyathi: “Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana baseJapan abangama-71 ekhulwini abazange bafundiswe ngooyise ukuba bangaxoki.” Ngaba oku akubangeli iintloni?

Inokufunyanwa phi imilinganiselo yokuziphatha? Kumntu owanika uManowa ulwalathiso—uThixo ngokwakhe! Ukuze asincede, uThixo wathumela uNyana wakhe amthandayo uYesu ukuze abe nguMfundisi wethu—igama awayebizwa ngalo ngokuqhelekileyo. Incwadi ethi Funda KuMfundisi Omkhulu, equlethe iimfundiso zikaYesu iyafumaneka ngeelwimi ezininzi yaye inokukunceda ekufundiseni abaselula.

Le ncwadi ithi Funda KuMfundisi Omkhulu ayicacisi imilinganiselo yokuziphatha efumaneka eLizwini likaThixo nje kuphela kodwa icacisa nenkcazelo ebhaliweyo ngemifanekiso engaphezu kwe-160 nemibuzo. Ngokomzekelo, umfanekiso okwiphepha 32 leli phephancwadi ufumaneka kwisahluko 22 esinomxholo othi “Isizathu Sokuba Sifanele Sikuphephe Ukuxoka.” Kwiphepha elinalo mfanekiso kukho indawo ethi: “Masithi inkwenkwe ithi kuyise: ‘Hayi, andikhange ndidlale ibhola endlwini.’ Kodwa kuthekani ukuba iye yayidlala? Ngaba kuphosakele ukuthi ayikhange iyidlale?”

Ezinye izinto ezilukhuthazo zinokufundwa kwisahluko esinomxholo othi “Ukuthobela Kuya Kukukhusela,” “Kufuneka Sixhathise Izilingo,” “Isifundo Ngokuba Nobubele,” “Ungaze Ube Lisela!,” “Ngaba Onke Amatheko Ayamkholisa UThixo?,” “Indlela Esinokumvuyisa Ngayo UThixo,” nothi “Isizathu Sokuba Kufuneke Sisebenze,” xa sikhankanya nje ezimbalwa kwizahluko ezingama-48 zale ncwadi.

Intshayelelo yale ncwadi iqukumbela ngokuthi: “Abantwana bafanele balathiselwe ngokukhethekileyo kuMthombo wabo bonke ubulumko, uBawo wasezulwini, uYehova uThixo. Wayesoloko esenjenjalo uMfundisi Omkhulu, uYesu. Sithemba ngokwenene ukuba le ncwadi iya kukunceda wena nentsapho yakho ukuba nikholise uYehova, ukuze anisikelele ngonaphakade.”a

Ngokucacileyo, ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo kuquka ukumisela abantwana bakho umzekelo omhle, ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabo nokubanceda baphile ngemilinganiselo kaThixo echazwe eBhayibhileni.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]

Nangona wayesentolongweni, uViktor Gutschmidt wakwazi ukuba ngutata ofanelekileyo

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 24, 25]

Ngoxa wayevalelwe entolongweni ngenxa yokholo lwakhe, uViktor wazoba le mifanekiso ukuze afundise abantwana bakhe

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]

Iintombi zikaViktor ngowe-1965

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ootata bafanele babandakanyeke ekufundiseni abantwana babo