Imbono YeBhayibhile

Ngaba Ukuqhawula Umtshato Kusisicombululo?

EBRITANI umfundisi wamkela abo bakhoyo kulo mbhiyozo. Ngaphambi kwakhe kumi isibini, abahlobo nabantwana baso. Ngaba siyatshata? Akunjalo! Lo ngumsitho wokuphela komtshato waso. Ewe, ukuqhawula umtshato kuxhaphake kangangokuba ezinye iicawa zenza imisitho yokuqhawula umtshato!

Ngaba ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato? Ukuba kunjalo, ngaba ucinga ukuba ukwenjenjalo kuya kukwenza wonwabe? Ngaba ikho into onokuyenza ukuze wonwabe kunye neqabane lakho?

‘Bamele Babe Nyama-Nye’

Xa isibini sokuqala sasitshata, uThixo wathi indoda imele “inamathele emfazini wayo baze babe nyama-nye.” (Genesis 2:24) Ngenxa yoko, umtshato wawumele uhlale uhleli. Yiyo lento uYesu wathi kamva ‘isizathu sohenyuzo’ siso esinokubangela umntu aqhawule umtshato ngokweZibhalo aze akwazi ukuphinda atshate.—Mateyu 19:3-9.a

Oku kugxininisa imfuneko yokuzibophelela emtshatweni. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba uneengxaki ezinzulu emtshatweni wakho?

Ngaba Kububulumko Ukuqhawula Umtshato?

UYesu wanikela umgaqo onokusinceda xa sihlolisisa indlela okubaluleke ngayo oko sikwenzayo xa wathi: “Ubulumko bungqineka bububulungisa ngemisebenzi yabo.” (Mateyu 11:19) Ukuqhawulwa kwemitshato emininzi namhlanje ngezizathu ezingavakaliyo kubonisa ntoni?

UNjingalwazi uLinda Waite weYunivesithi yaseChicago osisazi ngezentlalo nowayekhokela iqela leengcali ezaziphanda ukungonwabi kwabantu abatshatileyo, uthi: “Iingenelo zokuqhawula umtshato ziyabaxwa.” Ngokufanayo, emva kokuba echithe iminyaka eli-11 ebuza abantu, uNjingalwazi Michael Argyle waseOxford, wafumanisa ukuba, “abona bantu bangonwabanga ngabo baqhawule umtshato okanye bahlukeneyo.” Kunokwenzeka njani oko?

Ngoxa ukuqhawula umtshato kunokuziphelisa ezinye iingxaki, kunokubangela ezinye iingxaki ezininzi ezibuhlungu ongenakukwazi ukuzilungisa. Enyanisweni, uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba ukuqhawula umtshato akuphelisi kudandatheka okanye kubuyise isidima salowo uqhawule umtshato.

Enoba “akunamtshato ugqibeleleyo,” ukunamathela kwiqabane lakho kunokuba yingenelo. Abaninzi abazimisele ukwenjenjalo bayonwaba. UNjingalwazi Waite uthi: “Iingxaki ezininzi ziyaphela emva kwethuba elithile, yaye abantu abatshatileyo bayonwaba.” Eneneni, olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba abasi-8 kwabali-10 “ababengonwabanga” emtshatweni nabangazange bawuqhawule bazibone sele “bonwabile” emva kweminyaka emihlanu. Nokuba sele kukho iingxaki ezinzulu izibini zenza kakuhle xa zingawuqhawuli ngokukhawuleza umtshato.

Amanyathelo Afanelekileyo

Abo bacinga ngokuqhawula umtshato bamele bazibuze enoba kusengqiqweni na oko bakucingayo ngokuphathelele umtshato. Amajelo eendaba aye abonisa abantu abathandanayo, batshate baze bahlale bonwabile ngalo lonke ixesha. Emva komtshato xa umntu elindele lukhulu kuze kungenzeki oko akulindeleyo, udandatheko olubangelwa koko lunokubangela ingxabano. Njengokuba ingxabano iqhubeka kubakho ukungevani yaye ngenxa yentlungu umntu uye angakwazi ukucinga kakuhle. Uthando luyaphela yaye ekugqibeleni luthatyathelw’ indawo ngumsindo nenzondo. Xa kunjalo, abanye baye bavakalelwe kukuba esona sicombululo kukuqhawula umtshato.—IMizekeliso 13:12.

Kunokuba uvumele iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo zichaphazele indlela ozibona ngayo izinto, nxulumana nabo bazibophelele ngokuqinileyo emtshatweni. AmaKristu abongozwa ukuba ‘ahlale ethuthuzelana yaye esakhana.’ (1 Tesalonika 5:11) Ngokuqinisekileyo abo banemitshato eneengxaki bafuna ukukhuthazwa ngamanye amakholwa.

Ukubaluleka Kweempawu Zobuthixo

Umpostile uPawulos wabongoza: “Yambathani umsa wemfesane, ububele, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubulali, nokuzeka kade umsindo.” (Kolose 3:12) Iimpawu zobuthixo zinokulikhusela iqhina lomtshato ngamaxesha anzima.

Ngokomzekelo uPawulos wabhala: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.” (Kolose 3:13) Ugqirha wengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseMichigan, uChristopher Peterson uthi: “Ukuxolela kunxulunyaniswa nolonwabo.”

Ububele, uvelwano, nokuxolela zikhokelela kuthando, ‘olungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.’ (Kolose 3:14) Alithandabuzeki elokuba, nanikhe nathandana ngesinye isihlandlo. Ngaba unokuphinda uvuselele uthando owawunalo ngaphambili? Enoba zingabonakala zinjani iimeko, yomelela. Likho ithemba. Eneneni, ukuhlala kunye nokusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile kungakuzisela ulonwabo olungenakuthelekiswa nanto. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umzamo wakho uya kumonwabisa uYehova uThixo, onguMsunguli womtshato.—IMizekeliso 15:20.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]