Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndimele Ndenze Ntoni Xa Abanye Bendixelela Iingxaki Zabo?

“Esikolweni kukho intombazana enabazali ababeza kuqhawula umtshato, yaye yayiqalisa ukufumana amanqaku aphantsi kwizifundo zayo. Yayidla ngokundibalisela iingxaki zakowayo.”—UJan, oneminyaka eli-14.

“Enye intombazana endifunda nayo yandixelela ukuba yaba neentlobano zesini nomnye umfana. Yakhulelwa yaza yasikhupha eso sisu yaye abazali bayo babengenalo nofifi.”—UMira, oneminyaka eli-15.

UNCOKOLA nomhlobo okanye umntwana ofunda naye. Nisancokola njalo “ukukhuphela yonke imbilini yakhe.” Mhlawumbi unengxaki yezinto ezisoloko zixhalatyelwe ngabakwishumi elivisayo—iimpahla, imali, inkangeleko, oontanga kwanezifundo. Kwelinye icala, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uneengxaki ezinkulu kakhulu nezilucelomngeni.

Imeko yaseUnited States ibonisa indlela ezinkulu ngayo iingxaki abanazo abantu abaselula. Ngokutsho kwephephancwadi iNewsweek, “iNational Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH) iqikelela ukuba isi-8 ekhulwini sabantwana abafikisayo, isi-2 ekhulwini sabantwana (abanye babo baneminyaka emi-4 kuphela) baneempawu zodandatheko.” Olunye uhlolisiso lwabonisa oku: “Kuqikelelwa ukuba nyaka ngamnye kumabhinqa aneminyaka eli-15 ukusa kweli-19, angama-97 kwi-1,000—isigidi sabakwishumi elivisayo baseMerika—ayakhulelwa. Abaninzi kwaba—ama-78 ekhulwini—bakhulelwa bengalindelanga.” Kukwakho nezigidi zabantu abaselula abahlala kumakhaya angazinzanga. Amawaka axhatshazwa emzimbeni nangokwesini. Bangaphezu kwesiqingatha abantwana baseUnited States abafunda kwizikolo ezikumabanga aphakamileyo ababusebenzisa kakubi utywala. Linani elingabalekiyo abaselula abanengxaki yokutya.

Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba ulutsha oluninzi lumfuna ngamehlw’ abomvu umntu elinokuzityand’ igila kuye! Yaye ngokufuthi abantu abathi qatha kuqala engqondweni ngoontanga. Umele wenze ntoni xa omnye woontanga bakho efuna ukuzityand’ igila kuwe? Ukuba ungumKristu, akumele kukumangalise oko. IBhayibhile iyalela amaKristu ukuba ‘abe ngumzekelo’ ngehambo yaye abe nengqiqo. (1 Timoti 4:12; Filipi 4:5) Ngoko ke, abanye abaselula—kuquka abangakholwayo—basenokufuna ukuzityand’ igila kuwe. Ufanele wenze ntoni ke? Yaye kuthekani ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba akusakwazi ukuzinyamezela izinto ozivayo?

Phulaphula Ngenyameko

IBhayibhile ithi “kukho ixesha lokuthi cwaka nexesha lokuthetha.” (INtshumayeli 3:7) Xa umntu enengxaki yaye efuna ukuthetha nawe, ngokufuthi eyona nto ibhetele onokuyenza kukumphulaphula. Phofu ke, iBhayibhile iyamalela nabani na ovingca indlebe “kwisikhalo esimangalisayo sesisweli.” (IMizekeliso 21:13) Kusenokwenzeka ukuba lowo ukuthululela imbilini yakhe kuye kwafuneka aqwebe isibindi ngaphambi kokuba aze kuwe. Xa ubonisa ukuba unomdla wokumphulaphula unokuthetha nawe ekhululekile. Omnye umKristu oselula ogama linguHiram uthi, “Umntu ndidla ngokumvula athethe. Ndiyamyeka athethe konke okumkhathazayo, ndize ndizame ukuvelana naye.” Yena uVincent uthi: “Maxa wambi abantu bafuna nje ukukhupha into engaphakathi.”

Ngoko ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba lo mntu akakuxeleli ingxaki yakhe elindele ukuba uze nesicombululo. Ufuna nje umntu oza kumphulaphula ngenyameko. Ngoko ke, mphulaphule! Zama ukuba ungaphazanyiswa zizinto ezikufutshane nani okanye umphazamise ngento engenamsebenzi. Ukuba kunye naye nokumphulaphula kunokuzisa isiqabu esikhulu. Kubonisa ukuba umkhathalele ngokwenene.

Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba ufanele uthule uthi tu? Kuya kuxhomekeka kwingxaki leyo anayo. Kumaxesha amaninzi, eyona nto ifunekayo kukuthetha into ecingisisiweyo, uthethe ngobubele. (IMizekeliso 25:11) Ngokomzekelo, ukuba lo mhlobo wakho wehlelwe sisihelegu, bekuya kuba kuhle ukuba ubonise uvelwano. (Roma 12:15) IMizekeliso 12:25 ithi: “Inyameko yokuxhalaba esentliziyweni yendoda iya kuyibangela ukuba iqubude, kodwa ilizwi elilungileyo liyenza ibe nemihlali.” Mhlawumbi ufuna nje ukhuthazo. Mqinisekise ukuba uza kuloyisa ngempumelelo olo celomngeni. Amazwi afana nathi, “Ndiyasiqonda isizathu sokuba uvakalelwe ngaloo ndlela” okanye “Ndiyavelana nawe,” anokumbangela ukuba azi ukuba unyanisekile yaye ufuna ukumnceda.

Sekunjalo, IMizekeliso 12:18 iyasilumkisa: “Kukho othetha engacinganga njengokuhlaba kwekrele, kodwa ulwimi lwezilumko luyaphilisa.” Kulumkele ukuthetha amazwi afana nokuthi, “Noko asinto imbi kangako,” “Yikhuphe engqondweni,” okanye “Akufanele uvakalelwe ngaloo ndlela.” Kwakhona, kulumkele ukuzama ukuyenza indlalo ingxaki yakhe. Ngokulula nje umhlobo wakho unokucinga ukuba akuyikhathalele indlela avakalelwa ngayo.—IMizekeliso 25:20.

Kuthekani ke ukuba akwazi ukuba mawuthini? Nyaniseka. Mxelele ukuba akwazi ukuba mawuthini kodwa uyafuna ukumnceda. Mbuze, “Ndinokunceda njani?” Ewe, kusenokwenzeka zikho izinto onokuzenza ezinokuyenza khaphukhaphu ingxaki yakhe.—Galati 6:2.

Icebiso Lobuhlobo

Kuthekani ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umhlobo wakho ufuna ukucetyiswa? Kakade ke, njengomntu oselula, ngandlel’ ithile kusenokwenzeka ukuba akunamava. (IMizekeliso 1:4) Ngoko usenokungakwazi ukucebisa kuyo yonke into. Noko ke, INdumiso 19:7 ithi: “Isikhumbuzo sikaYehova sikholosekile, simenza abe nobulumko ongenamava.” Ewe, nangona “ungenamava,” usenokuba uyazi ngokwaneleyo imigaqo yeBhayibhile enokumnceda umhlobo wakho. (IMizekeliso 27:9) Kutheni ungambonisi iingongoma ezithile eziseBhayibhileni, kunokuba ube ngathi uyamshumayeza? Ukuba akuqinisekanga ngemigaqo yeBhayibhile onokuyisebenzisa, phanda. Kangangeminyaka inqaku leli phephancwadi elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . ” liye lanikela isiluleko esisekelwe eBhayibhileni ngemixholo emininzi eyahlukahlukeneyo. Omnye umthombo onenkcazelo ebalulekileyo yincwadi ethi Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo.a

Mhlawumbi unokumnceda ngokumbalisela amava akho. Usenokumnika namacebiso ambalwa. Ungakhange ude umchazele ezakho izimvo, unokumxelela into eyakuncedayo. (IMizekeliso 27:17) Sekunjalo, ungalibali ukuba iimeko azifani. Into eyakuncedayo wena isenokungamncedi yena.

Isilumkiso

Kulumkele ukuchitha ixesha lakho ngokuphulaphula iingxaki zolutsha olungamoyikiyo uYehova okanye olungenaxesha lemilinganiselo yamaKristu. Ezinye iingxaki zalo zinokubangelwa kukuba lungaphili ngemilinganiselo yeBhayibhile. Ukuzama ukunceda abo badelela isiluleko seBhayibhile kunokunidimaza xa ninobabini. (IMizekeliso 9:7) Kwakhona, usenokuzibhaqa sele uphulaphule incoko ebubudenge okanye engamanyala. (Efese 5:3) Ngoko ukuba kuncokolwa into ekwenza ungakhululeki, yiba nesibindi sokutsho ukuba awunakukwazi ukunceda okanye loo nto nithetha ngayo ikwenza ungakhululeki.

Lumka xa owesini esahlukileyo efuna ukuncokola nawe ngendlela avakalelwa ngayo. IBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelithi intliziyo inokukukhohlisa. (Yeremiya 17:9) Ulwalamano olusondeleyo lunokuvuselela iimvakalelo zothando yaye lunokude lubangele ukuba ubani aziphathe kakubi ngokwesini.

Ukongezelela, musa ukuzifak’ emgibeni ngokuthembisa ukuba akuzukuxelela mntu. Umele usiqonde isibakala sokuba loo mntu uthetha naye usenokufuna uncedo olungakumbi kunolo unokumnika lona wena.—IMizekeliso 11:2.

Xa Kufuneka Uncedo

Kwiimeko ezininzi kuye kufuneke ukuba ufumane uncedo ngendlela oza kumnceda ngayo umhlobo wakho. UMira, ocatshulwe ekuqaleni uthi: “Ndandingazi ngenene ukuba ndinokumnceda njani loo mntwana. Ngoko ke ndayincokola komnye umdala webandla le ngxaki ibe wandinika icebiso elihle lendlela endinokumnceda ngayo umhlobo wam.” Ewe, ebandleni lamaKristu lamaNgqina kaYehova, kukho amadoda anamava anokukunceda. (Efese 4:11, 12) Loo mdala wacebisa uMira ukuba akhuthaze umhlobo wakhe axelele abazali bakhe. Le ntombazana yalithabatha icebiso likaMira. UMira uthi: “Noko ngoku iimeko zibhetele. Seyifuna ukwazi okungakumbi ngeBhayibhile.”

Kuthekani ukuba omnye umKristu uzityand’ igila kuwe? Ngokuqhelekileyo, uza kufuna ukwenza nantoni na esemandleni akho ukuze umncede. (Galati 6:10) Ukuba woyikela ukuba uhlehlela kude kwimilinganiselo kaYehova yokuziphatha, ungoyiki ‘ukuthetha naye inyaniso.’ (Efese 4:25) Nyaniseka kodwa ungazenzi ilungisa. Ukuthetha phandle kubonisa ukuba ungumhlobo wokwenene.—INdumiso 141:5; IMizekeliso 27:6.

Kwimeko enjalo, kufuneka umkhuthaze umhlobo wakho ukuba afune uncedo—kubazali bakhe, kumdala, okanye kwamanye amaKristu aqolileyo awahlonelayo. Ukuba sele kudlule ixesha engekathethi namntu, kusenokufuneka wena uthethe nothile. (Yakobi 5:13-15) Ukuze wenze oko, kufuneka ube nesibindi kodwa loo nto ibonisa ukuba umkhathalele ngokwenene yaye ufuna ukuba umhlobo wakho afumane okona kulungileyo.

Kakade ke, uYehova akalindelanga ukuba ucombulule zonke iingxaki zabantu. Kodwa xa umntu ezityand’ igila kuwe, ungazideleli. Sebenzisa imfundiso yobuKristu, uze uzingqine ‘uliqabane lokwenyaniso.’—IMizekeliso 17:17.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]

Kwezinye iimeko kusenokufuneka ufumane uncedo ukuze uncede umhlobo wakho osengxakini