Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ngaba Ndifanele Ndixelele Othile Ukuba Ndidandathekile?

“Xa ndidandathekile, ekuqaleni ndikhetha ukuba ndingathethi ngako kuba abantu basenokucinga ukuba ndingumntwana okhathazayo. Kodwa ke ndiye ndiqonde ukuba kufuneka ndithethe nothile ukuze ndifumane uncedo.”—UAlejandro, oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala.

“Xa ndidandathekile, andibheneli kubahlobo bam kuba andicingi ukuba banokundinceda. Baza kusuka nje bahlekise ngam.”—UArturo, oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala.

PHANTSE wonke ubani uyadakumba maxa wambi.a Noko ke, ukuba uselula yaye akunamava kangako, unokonganyelwa ziingcinezelo zobomi. Izinto ezifunwa ngabazali, abahlobo nabefundisi-ntsapho bakho; ukuguquka kokufikisa okungokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo; okanye ukuvakalelwa kukuba ungungantweni ngenxa nje yeempazamo ezincinane—zonke ezi zinto zinokukushiya udanile yaye ulusizi.

Xa oko kusenzeka, kulungile ukuzityand’ igila kothile. UBeatriz oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi: “Ukuba bendingakwazi ukuthetha nothile ngeengxaki zam, ndicinga ukuba bendiya kudumb’ intloko.” Noko ke, okubuhlungu kukuba, ulutsha oluninzi luzigcina kulo iingxaki zalo—yaye ngokufuthi luzifumana luphelelwa nangakumbi lithemba. UMaría de Jesús Mardomingo, unjingalwazi kwiSebe Lezempilo laseMadrid, uthi abantu abaselula abafikelela kwinqanaba lokuzama ukuzibulala ngokufuthi bangamalolo ngokunzulu. Abaselula abaninzi abasindayo kumalinge okuzibulala bathi abakwazanga ukufumana umntu omdala abanokuthetha naye nabanokuzityand’ igila kuye.

Kuthekani ngawe? Ngaba unaye umntu onokuthetha naye xa udakumbile? Ukuba akunjalo, ngubani onokubhenela kuye?

Thetha Nabazali Bakho

UAlejandro, ocatshulwe ekuqaleni, ucacisa oko akwenzayo xa edandathekile: “Ndiya kumama kuba kususela mhla ndazalwayo, ebesoloko endixhasa yaye undenza ndizithembe. Kwakhona ndibalekela kutata kuba naye wakha wanamava afana nawam. Ukuba ndiziva ndingonwabanga ndize ndingaxeleli mntu, ndiye ndingonwabi nangakumbi.” URodolfo, oneminyaka eli-11 ubudala, ukhumbula oku: “Maxa wambi umfundisi-ntsapho ebeye andijongele phantsi aze andingxolise, ngoko ndandiba lusizi kakhulu. Ndandisiya kwigumbi langasese ukuze ndilile. Ngoko ke, kamva, ndathetha nomama, waza wandinceda ndayicombulula ingxaki yam. Ukuba ndandingazange ndithethe naye, ndandiza kuba lusizi nangakumbi.”

Ngaba wakhe wacinga ngokuthetha nabazali bakho ngokusuka entliziyweni? Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa kukuba abanakuziqonda iingxaki zakho. Ngaba ngokwenene oko kunjalo? Kusenokwenzeka ukuba abanakuziqonda ngokuzeleyo iingcinezelo abantu abaselula abajamelana nazo namhlanje; noko ke, ngaba akuyonyaniso ukuba mhlawumbi bakwazi bhetele kunaye nabani na osemhlabeni? UAlejandro uthi: “Maxa wambi akukho lula ngabazali bam ukuba bavelane nam baze bayiqonde indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.” Sekunjalo, uvuma ngelithi: “Ndiyazi ukuba ndingabhenela kubo.” Ngokufuthi ulutsha luyamangaliswa kukufumanisa indlela abazali balo abaziqonda ngayo iingxaki zabo! Kuba bebadala kunabo yaye benamava angakumbi, ngokufuthi banokunikela icebiso eliluncedo—oko kunjalo nangakumbi ukuba banamava ekusebenziseni imigaqo yeBhayibhile.

UBeatriz, ocatshulwe ngaphambilana uthi: “Xa ndithetha nabazali bam, ndiyakhuthazeka ndize ndifumane isicombululo esisebenzayo kwiingxaki zam.” Ngoko ke, ngezizathu ezivakalayo, iBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso kubantu abaselula: “Owu nyana wam, gcina umyalelo kayihlo, ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko. Mphulaphule uyihlo okuzeleyo, yaye ungamdeleli unyoko ngenxa nje yokuba emdala.”—IMizekeliso 6:20; 23:22.

Kakade ke, kunzima ukuzityand’ igila kubazali bakho ukuba akunalwalamano oluhle nabo. Ngokutsho kukaGqr. Catalina González Forteza, uhlolisiso olwenziwa phakathi kwabafundi abakwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo luye lwabonisa ukuba abo bathi bakhe bazama ukuzibulala babeziva bengento yanto yaye benolwalamano olungeluhle nabazali babo. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ulutsha olukuphephayo ukucinga ngendlela yokuzibhubhisa ngokuqhelekileyo “lolo lunolwalamano oluhle nomama notata.”

Ngoko ke, ngobulumko sebenzela ekuhlakuleleni ulwalamano oluhle nabazali bakho. Kwenze umkhwa ukuncokola nabo ngokuthe rhoqo. Baxelele oko kwenzekayo ebomini bakho. Babuze imibuzo. Incoko nje inokwenza kube lula ukuya kubo xa unengxaki enkulu.

Ukuthetha Nomhlobo

Kodwa ngaba bekungayi kuba lula ukuya kwintanga yakho neengxaki zakho? Kaloku, kuhle xa unabahlobo onokubathemba. IMizekeliso 18:24 ithi “kukho umhlobo onamathela ngokusondele ngakumbi kunomntakwenu.” Kodwa nangona oontanga benokuvelana nawe baze bakuxhase, kusenokwenzeka ukuba abanakukunika elona cebiso lifanelekileyo. Ngapha koko, ngokuqhelekileyo abanamava ebomini kunawe. Uyamkhumbula uYerobheham? Wayengukumkani ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. Kunokuba amkele icebiso lamadoda anamava naqolileyo, waphulaphula oontanga bakhe. Waba yintoni umphumo? Yintlekele! UYerobheham waphulukana nenkxaso yenkoliso yabantu besizwe sakhe waza waphulukana nenkoliseko kaThixo.—1 Kumkani 12:8-19.

Enye ingxaki yokubhenela koontanga ngumbandela wemfihlo. UArturo, ocatshulwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Inkoliso yamakhwenkwe endiwaziyo ithetha nabahlobo babo xa ilusizi. Kodwa kamva, abahlobo babo bachaza konke kwabanye baze bahlekise ngabo.” UGabriela oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala unamava afanayo. Uthi: “Ngenye imini ndafumanisa ukuba umhlobo wam wayexelela umhlobo wakhe izinto zam zobuqu, ngoko andizange ndiphinde ndizityand’ igila kuye. Ewe, ndiyathetha nabantu abalingana nam, kodwa ndiyazama ukuba ndingabaxeleli izinto ezinokundichaphazela kakubi ukuba bangaxelela abanye ngazo.” Ngoko ke ukuba ufuna uncedo, kubalulekile ukufumana umntu ‘ongalityhiliyo igqugula lomnye.’ (IMizekeliso 25:9) Kuyabonakala ukuba umntu onjalo umele abe ngomdala kunawe.

Ngoko ukuba ngasizathu sithile akukwazi ukufumana inkxaso ekhaya, kulungile ukufumana umhlobo onokuzityand’ igila kuye, kodwa qiniseka ukuba unamava ebomini nolwazi lwemigaqo yeBhayibhile. Alithandabuzeki elokuba ebandleni lasekuhlaleni lamaNgqina kaYehova bakho abantu abanjalo. ULiliana oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala uthi: “Ndiye ndazityand’ igila koodade bam abangamaKristu, yaye oku kuye kwaluncedo gqitha. Ekubeni bebadala kunam, icebiso labo lisengqiqweni. Baye baba ngabahlobo bam.”

Kuthekani ukuba uqalisa ukwenzakala ngokomoya? Mhlawumbi uye walusizi kangangokuba uye wakutyeshela ukuthandaza okanye ukufunda iBhayibhile. KuYakobi 5:14, 15, iBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso: “Ngaba kukho nabani na ogulayo phakathi kwenu? Makabizele kuye amadoda amakhulu ebandla, aze wona amthandazele, amthambise ngeoli egameni likaYehova. Yaye umthandazo wokholo uya kumphilisa lowo ungaphilanga, uYehova amvuse.” Ibandla lasekuhlaleni lamaNgqina kaYehova linamadoda amakhulu anamava ekuncedeni abantu abadimazekileyo okanye abagulayo ngokomoya. Zive ukhululekile ukuthetha nabo. IBhayibhile ithi amadoda anjalo ‘anjengendawo yokuzimela umoya nendawo yokuzifihla esiphangweni.’—Isaya 32:2.

“Zaziseni Izibongozo Zenu KuThixo”

Noko ke, owona mthombo mkhulu woncedo ‘nguThixo wentuthuzelo yonke.’ (2 Korinte 1:3) Xa ulusizi yaye udandathekile, landela icebiso elikwabaseFilipi 4:6, 7: “Musani ukuxhalela nantoni na, kodwa ezintweni zonke zaziseni izibongozo zenu kuThixo ngomthandazo nesikhungo nombulelo; yaye uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda luya kuzilinda iintliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Yesu.” UYehova usoloko efuna ukukuphulaphula. (INdumiso 46:1; 77:1) Yaye maxa wambi ufuna nje umthandazo ukuze uthomalalise ingqondo yakho.

Ukuba uziva ulusizi okanye udandathekile ngamanye amaxesha, ungaze ulibale ukuba luninzi olunye ulutsha oluneemvakalelo ezifanayo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ezo mvakalelo ziya kudlula. Kodwa okwangoku, musa ukubandezeleka wedwa. Xelela othile xa kukho into ekukhathazayo. IMizekeliso 12:25 ithi: “Inyameko yokuxhalaba esentliziyweni yendoda iya kuyibangela ukuba iqubude, kodwa ilizwi elilungileyo liyenza ibe nemihlali.” Ulifumana njani “ilizwi elilungileyo” elikhuthazayo? Ngokuxelela othile—umntu onamava, ulwazi, nonobulumko bobuthixo ukuze akuthuthuzele aze akunike uncedo olufunayo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 14]

“Xa ndithetha nabazali bam, ndiyakhuthazeka ndize ndifumane isicombululo esisebenzayo.”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Abazali aboyika uThixo, kunoontanga bakho, ngokuqhelekileyo bakwimeko entle yokukucebisa