Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza

Ndinokuhlangabezana Njani Nentlungu Yokwahlukana?

“Besithandana kangangeenyanga ezintandathu yaye besingabahlobo kangangeminyaka emihlanu. Xa wayefuna ukuphelisa ulwalamano lwethu, akazange akwazi ukundijonga ebusweni. Wayeka ukuthetha nam. Ndaziva ndingento yanto. Ukuphoxeka kwandambesa. Ndandizibuza, ‘Ndenze ntoni?’”—URachel.a

UKWAHLUKANA nomntu othandana naye kunokukushiya usentlungwini. Cinga ngoJeff kunye noSusan, ababethandana kangangeminyaka emibini. Kweso sithuba uthando lwabo lwakhula. Ebudeni bemini, uJeff wayethumelela uSusan imiyalezo yothando. Ngamaxesha athile, wayemthumelela nezipho emqinisekisa ukuba wayesoloko ecinga ngaye. USusan uthi: “UJeff wayendiphulaphula yaye sasivana gqitha. Wayendenza ndizive ndikhethekile”

Kungayanga phi, uJeff noSusan babesele bethetha ngokutshata nalapho babeza kuhlala khona njengendoda nomfazi. UJeff wade wafuna nokwazi umsesane ongalingana uSusan. Kodwa, ngequbuliso, waluphelisa ulwalamano lwabo! USusan waba buhlungu gqitha. Nangona wazama ukuqhubeka nobomi bakhe, wayesakhathazekile. Uthi: “Ndandisoloko ndidiniwe emzimbeni nasengqondweni.”b

Isizathu Sokukhathazeka

Ukuba ubukwimeko efana nekaSusan, usenokuzibuza, ‘Ngaba linokuphola eli nxeba?’ (INdumiso 38:6) Intlungu yakho iyaqondakala. Kunokwenzeka ukuba ukwahlukana nomntu omthandayo yeyona nto ibuhlungu yakha yakwehlela. Enyanisweni, abanye bathi ukwahlukana kufana nokungathi ufelwe. Usenokubonakalisa iimpawu ezifanayo nomntu ofelweyo, eziquka:

Ukuphika. ‘Akunakwenzeka ukuba kuphelile ngathi. Kungekudala uza kutshintsha ingqondo.’

Ukuba nomsindo. ‘Angayenza njani into enje kum? Andinakumelana naye!’

Ukudandatheka. ‘Andithandwa. Akakho umntu onokuze andithande.’

Ukuyamkela loo meko. ‘Ndiza kuba bhetele. Ukwahlukana kubuhlungu, kodwa ndiza kuchacha.’

Okuvuyisayo kukuba, ekugqibeleni uza kude uyamkele le meko. Ixesha oza kulithabatha ukuze uyamkele liya kuxhomekeka kwizinto eziliqela, kuquka ixesha enilichithe nithandana. Okwangoku, unokuhlangabezana njani nokwahlukana?

Ukuqhubeka Nobomi

Abanye abantu badla ngokuthi, inxeba liya kuphola njengoko ixesha lihamba. Xa nisandul’ ukwahlukana, loo mazwi asenokungaginyeki ncam. Kungenxa yokuba kufuna ixesha ukuze uphole. Ngokomzekelo, inxeba elisemzimbeni liyaphola ekuhambeni kwexesha, kodwa ngoku libuhlungu. Kufuneka unqande ukopha uze uphelise intlungu. Kufuneka elo nxeba lingangenwa ziintsholongwane. Oko kuyinyaniso naxa wonzakele nangokweemvakalelo. Okwangoku, kubuhlungu. Kodwa akho amanyathelo onokuwathabatha ukuze udakumbise intlungu uze ukuphephe nokuba nengqumbo. Inxeba liza kuphola emva kwexesha, kodwa yintoni onokuyenza ngoku? Zama oku kulandelayo.

◼ Zila ngokwaneleyo. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokulila. Ngapha koko, iBhayibhile ithi, kukho “ixesha lokulila” “nexesha lokwenza isijwili.” (INtshumayeli 3:1, 4) Ukulila akuthethi kuthi ubuthathaka. Xa wayesentlungwini, uDavide—nangona waye ligorha elikhaliphileyo—wavuma wathi: “Ubusuku bonke ndiyasidadisa isingqengqelo sam; umandlalo wam ndiwenza uphuphume iinyembezi zam.”—INdumiso 6:6.

◼ Yinyamekele impilo yakho. Ukuzilolonga nokutya ngokusempilweni kuya kukunceda njengoko ujamelene nentlungu yokwahlukana. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ingqeqesho yomzimba iyingenelo kancinane.”—1 Timoti 4:8.

Ziziphi iingxaki zempilo onokunikela ingqalelo kuzo?

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◼ Zigcine uxakekile. Ungayeki ukwenza izinto onomdla kuzo. Musa ukuzahlula. (IMizekeliso 18:1) Ukunxulumana nabo bakukhathaleleyo kunokukunceda ucinge ngezinto ezakhayo.

Unokuzibekela luphi usukelo ukuze uhlale uxakekile?

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◼ Mchazele uThixo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Oku kunokuba nzima. Emva kokwahlukana, abanye baziva belahliwe nanguThixo. Baqiqa ngelithi, ‘Bendisoloko ndithandazela iqabane, kodwa jonga ngoku!’ (INdumiso 10:1) Ngaba kufanelekile ukulindela ukuba uThixo afunele abantu amaqabane? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo, yaye akanakubekek’ ityala xa omnye efuna ukuphelisa ulwalamano lwenu. Naku esikwaziyo ngoYehova: ‘Usikhathalele.’ (1 Petros 5:7) Ngoko mphalazele iimvakalelo zakho emthandazweni. IBhayibhile ithi: “Zaziseni izibongozo zenu kuThixo ngomthandazo nesikhungo nombulelo; yaye uxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda luya kuzilinda iintliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Yesu.”—Filipi 4:6, 7.

Ziziphi izinto onokuzithandazela ngokungqalileyo kuYehova ngoxa uhlangabezana nentlungu yokwahlukana?

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Cinga Ngekamva

Emva kokuhlangabezana naloo ntlungu, jonga ngemva uze ucinge ngezinto eziye zaphelisa ulwalamano lwenu. Xa sele ukulungele oko, uya kufumanisa ukuba ukubhala phantsi iimpendulo zale mibuzo kuya kuba luncedo.

◼ Ngaba uye wakuchazela isizathu sokuba nahlukane? Ukuba kunjalo, bhala ngezantsi isizathu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba oko kuyinyaniso okanye akunjalo.

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◼ Ziziphi ezinye zezizathu, ocinga ukuba zibandakanyekile?

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◼ Xa ucinga ngoko kwenzekileyo, ucinga ukuba ngekukho okuthile okwenzileyo? Ukuba kunjalo, yintoni?

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◼ Ngaba oku kuye kwaveza nto ithile enokubangela ukuba ukhule ngokomoya okanye ngokweemvakalelo?

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◼ Yintoni, onokuyenza ngokwahlukileyo xa uphinde wathandana?

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Liyinyaniso elokuba, izinto azihambanga kakuhle kulwalamano lwenu. Kodwa khumbula oku: Ebudeni besaqhwithi, kunokuba lula ukucinga ngesibhakabhaka esimnyama nokugalela kwemvula. Kodwa ke, ekugqibeleni imvula iyaphela size isibhakabhaka sityhileke. Ulutsha olucatshulwe ngaphambili kweli nqaku, lwakwazi ukuqhubekela phambili nobomi balo ekuhambeni kwexesha. Qiniseka ukuba oku kunokwenzeka nakuwe!

Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” afumaneka kwiWeb site ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

OMELE UCINGE NGAKO

◼ Yintoni oyifundileyo ngawe ngolwalamano lwakho lwangaphambili?

◼ Yintoni oyifundileyo ngomntu wesini esahlukileyo?

◼ Ngubani onokuzityand’ igila kuye xa uziva uxinezelekile?

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 20]

ICEBISO

USusan, okhankanywe ngaphambilana, wazenzela uluhlu lwemibhalo, awayehamba nalo yaye nanini na wayesonganyelwa ziimvakalelo zakhe wayeyifunda. Mhlawumbi nawe ungazenzela olwakho uluhlu ngezibhalo ezikweli nqaku.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 19]

Ukwahlukana nomntu othandana naye kufana nenxeba elibuhlungu—kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha liyaphola