Ngaba Amaxesha Esidlo Anokuyomeleza Imilinganiselo Yentsapho Yakho?

“Ubomi abuzaliswanga ngamaxesha amyoli nje kuphela kodwa bunazo neentlungu zabo. Kodwa ke, enoba sonwabile okanye akunjalo, simele sitye. Abantu abonwabileyo nabangonwabanga banokuchwayitiswa kukutya okumuncis’ iintupha.”—ULaurie Colwin, umbhali waseMerika.

MANDULO phayaa kumazwe aseNtshona, iintsapho ezininzi zazinesiko lazo ezilixabisileyo. Intsapho yonke yayihlala, ubuncinane kanye ngosuku, ukuze itye kunye. Nantoni na enokuphazamisa yayibekelwa bucala. Kwakungabikho mntu ubukela mabonwakude, ufake iintambo ezindlebeni, okanye othumela imiyalezo kubahlobo. Le meko izolileyo yayibangela ukuba wonke umntu olapho afunde ubulumko, kwenziwe intsapho ibe luqilima kuze kubaliswe ngezinto ezenzekileyo emini kuze kuhleke wonk’ umntu ngoxa kunanditshwa ukutya okuginyis’ ingwiqi.

Namhlanje, abantu abaninzi banokucinga ukuba yinto yakudala ukutya kunye kwentsapho. Kumakhaya amaninzi ukutya kunye kwentsapho akuselosiko, kodwa kuyinto nje eyenzeka ngebhaqo. Kutheni kunzima kangaka ukuba iintsapho zitye kunye? Ngaba lifanele lilondolozwe eli siko lidala? Lungu ngalinye lentsapho linokuncedwa njani koku?

Isiko Lokutya Kunye Kweentsapho—Liyaphelelwa

“Isibakala sokuba [isidlo sangokuhlwa] siphele kwisizukulwana nje esinye . . . sibubungqina obubambekayo bendlela ukumanyana kwabantu okuphele ngokukhawuleza ngayo,” utsho njalo uRobert Putnam kwincwadi ethi Bowling Alone. Yintoni ebangele olu tshintsho? Okokuqala, ukunyuka kwamaxabiso kubangele ukuba amadoda nabafazi bawo bachithe ixesha elininzi besemsebenzini. Ngenxa yokuba bedla ngokuthwaxwa ziingxaki zoqoqosho, abazali abangenamaqabane bangabona bangenalo ixesha. Okwesibini, ubomi bale mihla obuphithizelayo bubangela ukuba abantu bathenge ukutya okusele kuvuthiwe nokwenziwe ngokukhawuleza. Ayisengobantu badala kuphela abaxakekileyo, nabantwana bathe phithi yimidlalo nezinye izinto ezenziwa ukuphuma kwesikolo.

Ukongezelela, kukho ootata abakhetha ukugoduka xa abantwana babo abancinane sele belele ukuze baphephe izikhalo ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa. Abanye abazali abagoduka kwangethuba bafika ekhaya batyise abantwana babo, baye kubalalisa baze bona basale besitya bodwa ngaphandle kweziphazamiso.

Ezi meko zikhuthaza into yokungatyi kunye kweentsapho. Ekuphela kwento ekuncokolwa ngayo ngexesha lesidlo, luludwe lwezinto ezisamele zenziwe. Lungu ngalinye lentsapho lifika ekhaya, lizifudumezele ukutya lize lihlale phambi kukamabonwakude, ikhompyutha okanye lidlale imidlalo esekhompyutheni. Le ndlela yokuphila inokubonakala ngathi ayinakutshintshwa. Ngoko ngaba kufanelekile ukuzama ngamandla ukuxhathisa lo mkhwa?

Indlela Elinceda Ngayo Eli Siko

Ukutya kunye njengentsapho kunika abazali ithuba elihle lokunyamekela iimvakalelo zabantwana babo. Isidlo sangokuhlwa “lixesha elihle lokuba abantwana babe kunye nabazali babo baze babahoye bengangxamelanga ndawo,” utsho uMiriam Weinstein kwincwadi yakhe ethi The Surprising Power of Family Meals. “Ukunandipha isidlo sangokuhlwa njengentsapho akuzicombululi zonke iingxaki zayo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kubonakala kuyindlela elula yokuzama ukwenjenjalo.”

UEduardo, ubawo osele eliqina waseSpeyin uyavumelana noko. Uthi: “Ndisakhula, suku ngalunye kwakubakho abantu abali-11 esidlweni. Utata wayesenza unako nako wokugoduka aze kunandipha isidlo sasemini kunye nathi njengentsapho. Ngandlela zonke ezi yayisiba zizihlandlo ezikhethekileyo. Sasisazana njengamalungu entsapho. Kwakusoloko kuhlekwa kumnandi. Ukukhumbula loo maxesha amyoli kundenza ndiqiniseke ukuba kufuneka ndixelise utata.”

Kanti ukutya kunye njengentsapho kwenza abantwana balungelelane baze babe sempilweni ngakumbi. IU.S. National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse kwiYunivesithi yaseColumbia yafumanisa ukuba abantwana abatya kunye neentsapho zabo kangangezihlandlo ezihlanu ngeveki baneengxaki ezimbalwa ezinxibelelene nokuxhalaba, isithukuthezi okanye ukungabi namdla wanto yaye baqhuba kakuhle kakhulu esikolweni.

UEduardo waleka ngelithi: “Ndicinga ukuba iintsapho ezitya kunye ziba nabantwana abazinzileyo ngokweemvakalelo. Iintombi zam azizikhathazi ngokuba ziza kulifumana nini ixesha lokuthetha nathi. Ukutya kunye njengentsapho kuba lithuba elimnandi suku ngalunye. Ukongezelela, ezi zihlandlo ziyandinceda njengomzali ukuba ndizazi iingxaki ezijamelene nazo iintombi zam.”

Kuyacaca ukuba, xa iintsapho zisitya kunye zinokuphepha iingxaki ezibangelwa kukutya ngokungalungelelananga. IYunivesithi yaseNavarre eSpeyin inikela ingxelo yokuba ukutya kukodwa kubeka abantu esichengeni sokugula. Enyanisweni, ezi zigulo bezinokubakho nanini na, kodwa ukungatyi kunye kunokubangela ukuba intsapho ibe sesichengeni sazo ngakumbi. “Xa intsapho isitya kunye rhoqo, abantwana baziva behoyiwe. Amaxesha esidlo abenza bazive bethandwa,” utsho njalo uEsmeralda, oneentombi ezimbini.

Kwakhona amaxesha ezidlo avulela abazali ithuba lokunceda abantwana babo ngokomoya. Malunga neminyaka engama-3 500 eyadlulayo, uThixo wakhuthaza amaSirayeli ukuba achithe ixesha nabantwana bawo ukuze abethelele imilinganiselo yokomoya ezintliziyweni zabo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) UÁngel, uyise wabantwana ababini uthi: “Ukuthandaza nokuxubusha kunye indinyana yeBhayibhile, kwenza amaxesha esidlo abe lukhuthazo ngokomoya.” Ngenxa yeengenelo ezininzi ezibangelwa ngamaxesha ezidlo, ezinye iintsapho zenze ntoni ukuze ziqiniseke ukuba zikwenza rhoqo oko?

Indlela Ezenza Ngayo

UEsmeralda uthi: “Into ebalulekileyo kukuceba nokuba nomdla wokukwenza. Umele uzame kangangoko unako ukwenza ucwangciso oluza kuquka nelona lungu lentsapho lifika mva ekhaya.” UMaribel, ongumama wabantwana ababini, uthi, “Enoba sekutheni, isidlo sangokuhlwa sisitya njengentsapho suku ngalunye.” Ezinye iintsapho zisebenzisa ixesha ezingenzi nto ngalo ngeempelaveki ukuze zilungise izidlo zangokuhlwa zasebudeni beveki.

Enye into encedayo kukuwagqala njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo amaxesha ezidlo. UEduardo uthi: “Kuye kwafuneka ndilungelelanise amaxesha omsebenzi ukuze ndibe sele ndisekhaya ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa, yaye oko kuye kwasinceda kakhulu. Ngoku ndizazi kakuhle izinto ezichaphazela intsapho yam. Ekubeni kunyanzeleka ukuba ndinikele ingqalelo emsebenzini kangangeeyure eziliqela ngosuku, ibingayi kulunga into yokuba ndinganikeli ingqalelo ifanayo kwintsapho yam ngamaxesha ezidlo.”

Kuthekani ngezinto eziphazamisayo? UDavid oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala uthi: “Ekhaya sityela kwigumbi elingenamabonwakude. Sisebenzisa elo thuba ukuze sixelele uMama noTata ngezinto ezenzeke ebudeni bosuku, yaye basoloko besinika amacebiso aluncedo.” UDavid waleka ngelithi: “Kule mihla abakwishumi elivisayo abakuthandi ukuthetha nabazali babo. Kwanaxa iintsapho zakomawabo zisekhaya, mntu ngamnye utya yedwa ngoxa ebukele umabonwakude. Abayazi into ebaphosayo.” USandra oneminyaka eli-17 ubudala uthi: “Ndiba buhlungu xa ndisiva umntwana endifunda naye esithi: ‘Azi umama undishiyele ntoni efrijini.’ Ekhaya asityeli nje ukuhlutha. Ngexesha lesidlo sifumana ithuba lokuhleka, ukuthetha nelokubonisa ububele.”

Incwadi ethi The Surprising Power of Family Meals ithi, ukutya kunye njengentsapho “kunokusikhusela kwiingcinezelo esijamelana nazo mihla le.” Ngaba ezi zihlandlo zinokuvulela intsapho yenu ithuba lokumanyana? Ukuba ungumntu oxakekileyo, ukutya kunye njengentsapho kukunika ithuba lokuhlisa isantya uze uncokole nabantu obathandayo. Uya kuzibona iingenelo zokwenjenjalo.

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

XA NISITYA KUNYE NJENGENTSAPHO UNOKUZAMA . . .

Ukuncokola. Abantwana banokufunda ukuncokola baze baphulaphule ngembeko. Ukuncokola kuyasandisa isigama sabo kuze kubafundise indlela yokuthetha nabantu.

Ukutya izidlo ezisempilweni rhoqo.

Ukuba nesimilo. Funda ukupha ngokwabelana nabanye ngokutya, ungazami ukufumana okona kuninzi. Kanti funda ukunyamekela iimfuno zamanye amalungu entsapho ngoxa nisitya.

Ukwenza izinto kunye. Abantwana banokuba nenxaxheba ekulungiseni nasekuqoqosheni itafile, ukuyicoca emva kokuba kutyiwe, okanye ukuphakela abanye. Njengoko bekhula, nabo banokuncedisa ekulungiseni isidlo.