Ikhazi—AmaKristu Afanele Alijonge Njani?
ISIKO lamandulo lokuhlawula ikhazi lisaqheliselwa kumazwe amaninzi. Kwiimeko ezininzi, kuhlawulwa ngemali, kuquka nezipho zexabiso. Ixabiso liyahluka ngokweendawo ngeendawo nangokweentsapho ngeentsapho, kuxhomekeka kwisikhundla esingokwasentlalweni, imfundo nabanye oothunywashe. Kwamanye amazwe limiselwa ngumthetho, nangona bebambalwa abantu abaligcinayo ixabiso elimisiweyo.
Ukuqwalaselwa kwale meko ngenyameko kubonisa ukuba isiko lanamhla lokulobola libandakanya okungakumbi kunokuhlawula ikhazi. Ngoko, kububulumko ukuqwalasela indlela oku okunokukuchaphazela ngayo njengomKristu.
EPapua New Guinea, ukuhlawulwa kwekhazi kufana nokudluliselwa kobuncwane bususwa kwiqela elithile lentsapho enezalamane ezigqalwa njengentsapho enye busisiwa kwelinye iqela elikwanjalo lakulomtshakazi. Le ntlawulo inokususela kuma-R250 ukuya kwi-R115 000, kuxhomekeka kwindlela emi kakuhle ngayo intsapho yakulomyeni. ESri Lanka, izinto zenziwa ngokwahlukileyo. Abazali bomtshakazi bafanele banike umyeni ikhazi. Oku kusenokuquka amatye anqabileyo exabiso, umhlaba, indlu nemali. Ukuze kukhuselwe ukuba ezo zinto ziphume ngaphandle kwentsapho, kulisiko ukuba ubani atshate umntwana kayisekazi okanye kadadeboyise.
Kwimimandla emininzi yaseAfrika, intlawulo yenye yezinto ezifunekayo ezingokwesiko ezenza isivumelwano somtshato sibe sesigqityiweyo nesisemthethweni. Utata waseNigeria ontombi yakhe yayilungiselelwa ukwendiswa uthi, “KumaIgbo ukuhlawulwa kwekhazi kubalulekile emtshatweni ukuze wamkeleke ebuthweni lesizwe. Ukwamkelwa kwekhazi kungumqondiso wokuvuma kwentsapho yakulontombi. Kuyayanelisa imbono yabantu ngomtshato. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, kwanomtshato obhaliswe ecaweni okanye kwisebe laseburhulumenteni ubungayi kugqalwa njengomtshato libutho lasekuhlaleni ngaphandle kokuba kwakuhlawulwe ikhazi.”
Indlela Okunokumchaphazela Ngayo Utata
Phakathi kwaba bantu baseAfrika, intlawulo yayidla ngokuba ngumqondiso obonakalayo obonisa ukuba indoda iya kukwazi ukondla intsapho. Abakulondoda babedla ngokutyelela abazali bentombi bephethe izinto ekuya kuthethelwa phezu kwazo xa kuboniswana ngekhazi. Kwimimandla emininzi oku akusenjalo, njengoko ngoku ootata beentombi ngokwenene bebiza elona xabiso liphakamileyo banokulifumana. Kudla ngokubizwa imali esuka kuma-R30, leyo imiselwe ngumthetho kwiindawo ezithile eNigeria, ukuya kuma-R3 500 eerandi okanye engakumbi. Imali okanye izipho zisenokulindelwa kwanangaphambi kotyelelo lokuqala lwabazali besoka. Ngoko, njengaseZaire, kusenokufuneka ukuba kuhlawulwe isazimzi ukuze “kuvulwe umlomo katata,” okuthetha, ukumcenga ukuba kuboniswane naye ngexabiso lentombi yakhe. Kwanasemva kokuba isixa esithile sihlawulwe, ezinye izinto ezinokuhlawulelwa zisenokubizwa kuze kufunwe nezipho.
Uqheliselo olunjalo lusenokukhuthaza ukubawela imali. Kanti, iBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuthanda imali yingcambu yeento zonke ezimbi.” (1 Timoti 6:10) Ngenxa yokubawa, abantu banokubiza ngobuqhinga imali eninzi, ibe oku akumkholisi uThixo. IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba akukho ‘mntu ulibawa, ongumkhonzi wezithixo, onelifa ebukumkanini bukaKristu nakobukaThixo.’—Efese 5:5; thelekisa IMizekeliso 20:21; 1 Korinte 5:11; 6:10.
Kanti, akukho nto imbi ekumnikeni ikhazi usontombi njengomqondiso wembuyekezo yelahleko yentombi yakhe ayikhulisileyo waza wayifundisa. Oza kuba ngumyen’ entombi yelo khaya ngokufanelekileyo usenokuyijonga le ntlawulo njengomqondiso woxabiso lwakhe ngoqeqesho olunikwe intombi aza kutshata nayo. Noko ke, bambi abazali bazama ukufuna imbuyiselo yako konke oko bakuchithileyo, bevakalelwa kukuba iintombi zabo ezitshatileyo azisayi kunceda ekufundisweni kwabantwana abancinane. Abazali abanjalo babiza elona khazi likhulu abanokulifuna, ngokungathi iintombi zabo ziziimpahla nje zokuthengiswa. Kodwa banembopheleleko yokukhulisa abantwana babo kakuhle. Iqhayiya labo lifanele libe kukuzalisekisa le mbopheleleko, ingekuko ukubona ukuba banokubuyelwa yimalini na okanye banokuzuza okungakanani na ngekhazi elixhomis’ amehlo. Kunokukhokelela abazali ekucingeni ngeengenelo zokuphathekayo ezinokuziswa ngabantwana, iBhayibhile ithi: “Asingabantwana abafanele ukuqwebela abazali, ngabazali abafanele ukuqwebela abantwana.”—2 Korinte 12:14.
Imali ebizwa ngabanye ootata abathi bangamaKristu iba ngaphaya kwemali enokufikelelwa ngabafana abaselula abangamaKristu. Ewe, kukho iimeko apho ootata abanjalo abathe bayala imali esengqiqweni ekhutshwa ngabazalwana abangamaKristu ngenxa yokuba abafana behlabathi bekhupha imali ezinkulu! Bambi bade bashiyele iingxoxo kwizalamane ukuba ibe zizo ezigwadla le njece yobulawu. Ngoxa kusaboniswana ngekhazi, imeko isenokubaqhubela abantu abasebatsha ekuhenyuzeni. Oku koko kwenzekayo phakathi kwabantu behlabathi. Ngokufuthi kuyenzeka ukuba isibini esiselula esidandathekileyo sisebenzise umitho njengeyona ndlela ilula yokunyanzela intsapho yakulontombi ukuba yamkele oko isoka linokukwazi ukukuhlawula.
AmaKristu akafanele enze ngale ndlela. ILizwi likaThixo liyakwalela ukuhenyuza, ibe abo bakwenzayo basenokukhutshelwa ngaphandle kwebandla. (1 Korinte 6:9; Hebhere 13:4) Utata akanakuzikhupha etyaleni ukuba ukubiza kwakhe ikhazi elikhulu gqitha kufak’ isandla ekuweleni kwentombi yakhe ekuziphatheni okubi. Ityala elinjalo lisenokuthi likuchaphazele ngokunzulu ukuma kwakhe ebandleni. Ngokufanayo, ukwamkela imali yekhazi enoba ingakanani na evela kumntu wehlabathi ukuze kwendiselwe intombi yomKristu ezahluleleyo kuye oko akuhambiselani nemilinganiselo yobuthixo. Ukwenza oku kuyamthintela umzalwana ubuncinane kumalungelo athile akhethekileyo ebandleni. Abazali abangamaKristu bafanele bafune ukuba abantwana babo bahlale bomelele kwibandla lobuKristu yaye bafanele babancede ukuba balondoloze ihambo enyulu. Bafanele banqwenele ukuba iintombi zabo zitshate ngokonwabileyo “kuphela ngokwaseNkosini,” kumadoda akwathanda uYehova nanentlonelo enzulu ngemithetho nemigaqo yakhe.—1 Korinte 7:39, NW.
Asibobukristu ukusebenzisa ikhazi njengendlela yokwenza imali ngomntwana kabani, ngexabiso elikhulu gqitha elibiza okungakumbi kunoko kulungileyo. Utata ongumKristu umele azilinde nxamnye nokubawa nokuzingca, ekubeni oku kusenokubuchaphazela ngokunzulu ubumoya bakhe namalungelo awanandiphayo ebandleni.—1 Korinte 6:9, 10.
Okuvuyisayo kukuba, ootata abangamaKristu abaninzi baye babonakalisa ulwazelelelo koko baye bakufuna njengekhazi, ibe oku kutyhila isimo sengqondo esihle. Bambi bade bakhethe ukungafuni khazi konke konke, ukuze bazilinde nxamnye nokulisebenzisa kakubi isiko baze babangele iinkathazo ezingokomoya.
Indlela Ekunokumchaphazela Ngayo Umtshakazi Nomyeni
Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukubawa kwentombi kuye kwanempembelelo kwisixa sekhazi elibizwa ngabazali. Kukho ezo zifuna umtshato obiza kakhulu nonomtsalane ngokugqithiseleyo, zide zibalilele ngokufuthi abazali bazo ukuze zifumane oku. Ezinye zinyanzelisa abazali bazo ukuba bazithengele iimpahla ezidl’ imali eninzi eziya kusetyenziswa kumzi omtsha. Ukuze ahlangabezane nezinyanzelo ezinjalo, utata usenokuvakalelwa kukuba kuyimfuneko ukuba anyuse ikhazi.
Oku, ngembuyekezo, kunyanzelela umyeni ukuba aqalise ubomi bakhe basemtshatweni ephantsi komthwalo onzima wamatyala awenziwe ngumtshato oneendleko ezinkulu nefanitshala ebiza imali eninzi. ILizwi likaThixo lithi “ubulumko baphezulu . . . buyancendezela [bunengqiqo, NW].” Izibini eziselula zifanele zivumele ukuba ‘ukuba nengqiqo kwazo kwazeke kubantu bonke’ ngokuceba umtshato ongabeki mthwalo usindayo ongokwemali kuye nabani na.—Yakobi 3:17; Filipi 4:5.
Emva komtshato, umfazi usenokuqalisa ukuyilinganisa indlela athandwa ngayo ngumyeni wakhe ngexabiso alihlawuleyo njengekhazi. Usenokuziva enganqabisekanga ukuba umyeni uhlawule intlawulo encinane. Usenokuqiqa ngelithi ukuba unokudinwa nguye aze anqwenele ukumgxotha, ubeya kwenjenjalo, ekulungele ukulahlekelwa yimadlana encinane ayihlawuleyo. Kuyinyaniso ukuba wambi amadoda aye abagxothela kubazali babo abafazi bawo ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, ezinjengokungazali okanye ukubonakalisa umoya wemvukelo. Oku kukhuthazwa ngabo bathi bengazi bathi kumfana osandul’ ukuhlawula ikhazi: “Uthenge umfazi.” Ukuba wayehlawule ixabiso eliphakamileyo, usenokulingelwa ekubeni amjonge umkakhe njengesicakakazi esithengiweyo kunokuba amjonge njengesona sihlobo sakhe sisenyongweni. Kwakhona, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, ootata baye balibuyisela ikhazi baza banyanzelela iintombi zabo ukuba ziwashiye amadoda azo.
Kukho abo baphikisa ngelokuba ikhazi eliphakamileyo linceda ekukupheliseni oku ngenxa yobunzima bokubuyiselwa okanye bokubuyisela isixa esikhulu semali. Kwakhona bacinga ukuba ikhazi elixhomileyo linciphisa inani labo batshata beselula, ekubeni kuthabatha ithuba elide ngendoda ukuqokelelela ukutshata. Bavakalelwa kukuba ezi zizathu ziphumela kumadoda azinzileyo nanembopheleleko nakwimitshato eqine ngakumbi.
Nangona oku kusenokuba yinyaniso kwiimeko ezithile, ukuqina komtshato wamaKristu akufanele kusekelwe kwizizathu zezinto eziphathekayo ezilolo hlobo. Ukuthembeka kwendoda engumKristu akufanele kuxhomekeke koko isenokulahlekelwa kuko ngokwezinto eziphathekayo ukuba umtshato uyaqhawuka. Kunoko, ifanele ilawulwe ngumgaqo weZibhalo othi: “Oko ke ngoko uThixo akumanyileyo, makungahlulwa mntu.” (Mateyu 19:6) Kunokubajonga abafazi bawo njengempahla ethengiweyo, amadoda ayalelwa ukuba ‘abanike imbeko.’ (1 Petros 3:7) UYesu wathi indoda nomfazi baba “nyama-nye” xa betshata. (Mateyu 19:5; Genesis 2:24) IBhayibhile iluleka amadoda ukuba abathande abafazi bawo, abondle aze abanyamekele, kanye njengokuba esenza kwimizimba yawo. (Efese 5:28, 29) Ngokubhekele phaya, umlinganiselo wokwenene wothando lwendoda ufanele ube yindlela emphatha ngayo umfazi wayo ebudeni beminyaka yasemva komtshato. Enoba indoda iye yahlawula ikhazi okanye ayilihlawulanga kusini na, ukuba imnyamekela kakuhle umkayo yaye inyanisekile eluthandweni lwayo, ngaba nabani na ebenokuthandabuza ukuba iyamthanda?
Kwakhona ikhazi linokuyichaphazela indlela indoda ebajonga ngayo abazali bomfazi wayo. Ekubeni ihlawule ikhazi elininzi, isenokugqiba ngelokuba ayisabatyali nantoni na, kwanaxa beswele. Kanti, iBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba kukho mhlolokazi uthile unabantwana, nokuba ngabazukulwana, ukuqala mabafunde ukuhlonela elabo ikhaya, bababuyekezele umbuyekezo ooninakhulu; kuba oko kuhle, kwamkelekile emehlweni kaThixo.” (1 Timoti 5:4) AmaKristu ayasilandela esi siluleko, kodwa kunokubakho iingxaki ukuba indoda ivumela isibakala sokuba ikhuphe ikhazi sijije ingqiqo yayo ngembopheleleko.
Londolozani Imbono Elungeleleneyo
Uqheliselo oluthile olunxulumene nekhazi lusenokudala iingxaki ezikhethekileyo kumfana oselula oza kutshata udade wokomoya obazali bakhe bangengomaKristu. Basenokufuna ukuba abe nenxaxheba kwizithethe ezisekelwe ekunquleni izinyanya nakwinkolelo kumphefumlo ongafiyo. (INtshumayeli 9:5, 10; Hezekile 18:4) Kodwa ngaba unokukwenza oku aze angaphulukani nenkoliseko kaThixo neentsikelelo uYehova azigcinele abo baye ‘bayenza nyulu imiphefumlo yabo ngokuyilulamela inyaniso’? (1 Petros 1:22; ISityhilelo 18:4) Ejongene nokunyanzelwa okunjalo, umKristu ozahluleleyo umele ngokuthe rhoqo azimisele ‘ukuva uThixo kunokuba eve abantu.’—IZenzo 5:29.
La magqabaza andulelayo amalunga nokubiza imali eninzi ngobuqhetseba, ukuphepha uhenyuzo, nokutshata kuphela amakholwa angoowethu asebenza ngokulinganayo xa intsapho yakulomtshakazi inikezela ngekhazi. Intombi engumKristu nabazali bayo abafanele bakhokelwe yimilinganiselo yehlabathi kukhetho lwalowo uza kuba yindoda. Ukutshata umntu ongengomKristu sisenzo sokungamthobeli uThixo. Esebenzisa uMoses, Wawaxelela oku amaSirayeli: “Uze ungendiselani nazo, intombi yakho ungayiniki unyana wakhe, intombi yakhe ungayizekeli unyana wakho.” (Duteronomi 7:3, 4; 1 Korinte 7:39) Ngokucacileyo, bekuya kuba kokungafanelekanga ngeentombi nangabafana abangamaKristu abaselula ukuba bazibhengeze kumaphephandaba kawonke wonke njengabafuna amaqabane omtshato afanelekileyo. Kuphakathi kwabazalwana noodade babo abangamaKristu abafanele bajonge kubo amaqabane afanelekileyo.
Umtshato lilungiselelo elingcwele likaYehova, ibe sonke sifanele sikhokelwe koko akuthethayo ngawo eLizwini lakhe. Uthando olunzulu ngoYehova, ngabantwana bethu nangamakholwa angoowethu lufanele lusikhokelele ekulucezeleni ngokucacileyo lonke uqheliselo oluhlambela oko kulungileyo noko kuhle. (INdumiso 119:105; Hebhere 4:12) Ngokuqinisekileyo intsikelelo kaYehova iya kuqhubeka nabo bavumela ukukhokelwa liLizwi lakhe kwizigqibo ezinokuthanani kungekuphela nje nekhazi nesipho somtshakazi aza naso emendweni kodwa kwakhona nakuyo yonke eminye imicimbi yobomi.—IMizekeliso 10:22.