Ukuba Nombulelo Ngenkxaso KaYehova Engapheliyo

NGOKUBALISWA NGUSHARON GASKINS

IPARADISI emhlabeni! Ndazibona nditsibatsiba emadlelweni, ndileqa amabhabhathane, ndidlala kunye namathole engonyama. Oko kwakuvakala kamnandi! Kodwa kwakuthandabuzeka. Ngokufuthi amathemba am ayephelela emoyeni!

Ngokokukhumbula kwam, bendisoloko ndingumtya nethunga nesihlalo esinamavili. Ukususela ekuzalweni ukusa phambili, ngenxa yesifo esibizwa ngokuba yicerebral palsy andizange ndikwazi ukunandipha naluphi na ulonwabo lobuntwana. Abanye abantwana babedlala ngezihlangu zokudlala umtyibilizi nangeebhayisikile, kodwa mna ndandihlala ndedwa, ndingakwazi nokuhamba. Ngoko xa umama wayendisa kubaphilisi, ngokunyanisekileyo sasinethemba lokuba kwakuza kwenzeka ummangaliso. Noko ke, ngokufuthi wayesuka andiqhube ngesihlalo sam sihambe. Oku kwakundidanisa kodwa hayi indlela ekwakuyenza buhlungu ngayo intliziyo yakhe!

Enqwenela ithemba lokwenene, umama waqalisa ukufundisisa iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova ekuqaleni kowe-1964. Ngoko ndandimalunga neminyaka emithandathu enesiqingatha ubudala.

Kwakubangela imincili ukuva ukuba kwakukhe kwakho iparadisi entle kulo mhlaba. Okulusizi kukuba umntu wokuqala, uAdam, wayilahla, kodwa ndandinqwenela ukusondela kuThixo awayekhe wakunandipha. Kwakunokuba njani ukunandipha ulwalamano olukhethekileyo noThixo? Okanye ukuphila ngoxa uNyana wakhe wayesemhlabeni? Kwakhona ndandisoloko ndizibona ndikwiParadisi yexesha elizayo. Nangona ndandiselula ngolo hlobo, kwakucace gca kum ukuba sasiyifumene inyaniso.

Umama waqalisa ukusa intsapho yakowethu kwiHolo yoBukumkani yamaNgqina kaYehova. Iintlanganiso neendibano zawo zazahlukile koko sasikubone ezicaweni! Ndachukunyiswa ngokunzulu ngabantu kunye nemekobume.

Kwakunzima gqitha ukuba umama asise kwiHolo yoBukumkani. Ngaphandle kwam, kwakukho abanye abantwana abancinane abathathu, yaye sasingenanqwelo-mafutha. Sasihamba ngeteksi xa enayo imali yokuhlawula. Ndisayikhumbula indlela awatsala nzima ngayo ngenye iCawa. Kwakungekho teksi ibonakalayo. Ngoko, kwathi gqi indoda eqhuba ilori yaza yasikhwelisa. Zazisele ziqalisile iintlanganiso, kodwa saya kufika. Hayi indlela esaba nombulelo ngayo kuYehova!

Kungekudala abazalwana noodade bethu bokomoya abathandekayo ababeneenqwelo-mafutha ngothando babetshintshisana ukusithutha. Ukhuthazo lukamama lokungaze uphoswe ziintlanganiso ngaphandle kokuba ugula ngokwenene lwabetheleleka engqondweni yam ndiselula ukubaluleka ‘kokuhlanganisana kwethu.’ (Hebhere 10:24, 25) Echukunyiswe koko wayekufundile, umama wahlulela ubomi bakhe kuYehova waza wabhaptizwa ngowe-1965.

Ngelo xesha ndandimdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndikuqonde ngokunzulu ngakumbi oko kwakuqhubeka kwiintlanganiso. KwiBandla laseCypress Hills eBrooklyn, eNew York, kwakukho abantu baseYurophu, abantsundu, abantu abathetha iSpanish nesiPhuthukezi, nabanye benqula ngaxhatha linye. Kwabonakala kufanelekile ukuba abantu aboyika uThixo bafanele baphile kubuzalwana bokwenyaniso obunjalo.—INdumiso 133:1.

Umama wandifundisa ukulungiselela iintlanganiso. Ingxaki yam yayingekho sengqondweni kodwa yayisemzimbeni. Esi sifo siyicerebral palsy sibangela imisetyenzana engephi ibe yimisebenzi emikhulu. Kwakunzima yaye kusenzima ukukrwela umgca ongqalileyo ukuze ndiphawule iimpendulo kuncwadi lwethu lweBhayibhile. Noko ke, ngokuqhelisela, indlela yam yokukrwela yaphucuka.

Engqondweni ayephuphuma amazwi emandiwathethe. Kodwa xa kufuneka ephumile emlonyeni, ayesuka aphithane. Kwakufuneka ndizole ukuze izihlunu zam zingaqini. Kwakhona kwakufuneka ndinikele ingqalelo ekubizeni gama ngalinye ngokucacileyo. Ndandikhathazeka kakhulu ukuba ndandingagqabazanga ngendlela ebendifanele ndigqabaze ngayo okanye xa ndandisazi ukuba abantu abakuqondanga oko bendikuthetha. Noko ke, besakundazi, abazalwana noodade ebandleni baqalisa ukuyiqonda indlela endandithetha ngayo. Noko ke, zisekhona iintsuku engabikho kangako ngazo le ngxaki kodwa ngezinye intsuku kuba nzima.

Iinyanga Ezintandathu Ezandikhathazayo

Xa ndandineminyaka esibhozo ubudala, kukho into eyenzeka kangangeenyanga ezintandathu, neyabuchaphazelayo ubomi bam kude kube namhla. Phezu kwalo nje lonke uqeqesho lokusebenzisa amalungu omzimba, ukusebenza, nokuthetha endandisele ndilufumene, oogqirha bandithumela kwisibhedlele ekubuyiselwa kuso abantu kwimeko yesiqhelo (rehabilitation hospital) eWest Haverstraw, eNew York. Iintliziyo zethu nomama zaba buhlungu. Kwiminyaka ethile ngaphambili xa oogqirha ngokuphosakeleyo bathi ingqondo yam ayisebenzi umama wabaxelela ukuba akanakundisa kwisibhedlele sabagula ngengqondo. Ngoko kwakunzima kuye ukuba sahlukane nokuba kokwethutyana. Noko ke, wabona ukuba ukuze ndikwazi ukuphila ubomi obanelisayo ndingaxhomekekanga kuye notata kwakuya kufuna ukuba ndikwazi ngakumbi ukuzenzela izinto.

Yayiyindawo entle, kodwa ndaziva ndilahliwe. Ukukhala nokusoloko ndinomsindo kwayenza yacaca indlela endandivakalelwa ngayo ngaloo ndawo. Abazali bam babengenakuluthabatha rhoqo uhambo lweeyure ezintathu ngodula-dula ukuza kundityelela, ingakumbi ekubeni umama wayekhulelwe umntwana wakhe wesihlanu. Xa kwakufuneka behambile, kwakundicaphukisa kakhulu kangangokuba ugqirha wathi ndandingafanele ndityelelwe rhoqo. Ndavunyelwa ukugoduka kabini kuphela.

Oogqirha bandifundisa ukuhamba ngoncedo lweebraces neentonga zokuhamba ezazinzima ngenxa yokufakwa ilothe. Ekuqaleni zabonakala zinzima gqitha. Noko ke, obo bunzima bandinceda ukuba ndilungelelane ndize ndingawi. Eli yaba linyathelo lokuqala lokuba ndihambe ngaphandle kweebraces.

Ukunqunqa ukutya, ukuqhobosha amaqhosha—nawuphi na umsebenzi owawufuna kusetyenziswe iminwe—kwakusoloko kunzima ukuwenza okanye ndingakwazi kwaphela. Kodwa ukusa kumlinganiselo othile ndafunda ukuzityisa nokuzinxibisa. Oku kwandinceda kamva enkonzweni yam kuThixo.

Ukugqitywa kwam ukuqeqeshwa, ndabuyela ekhaya. Umama wandinika imisebenzi ukuze ndisebenzise ubuchule bam obutsha. Ukwenjenjalo kwakulidabi elinzima leemvakalelo, kuba nangona ndandifuna ukuzenzela izinto, ndandiziphumeza kabuhlungu, ndithabatha ixesha elide, yaye kwakudinisa. Kaloku, ukunxiba xa ndisiya kwiintlanganiso kwakungumsebenzi othabatha iiyure ezimbini!

Xa sinqumla indlela sivela kwiHolo yoBukumkani, ndandizihambela. Leyo yayiyinto enkulu!

Olona Suku Lwandonwabisayo Ebomini Bam

Umama wayeqinisekisa ukuba intsapho yayinokutya kokomoya okulungeleleneyo. Wayefundisisa kunye nam yaye wayelindele ukuba ndifunde zonke iinkupho zoolindixesha bethu, IMboniselo noVukani! Kwakufuneka silungiselele iintlanganiso size siye kuzo. Nangona olu lwazi ndandilungenisa engqondweni nasentliziyweni yam ngolangazelelo, ndandingacingi nzulu ngokwahlulela ubomi bam kuYehova nangokufuzisela oku ngokubhaptizwa emanzini. Umama wandinceda ndabona ukuba nangona ndandingumlwelwe, ndandinembopheleleko yokomoya ngesiqu sam phambi koThixo. Ndandingenakulindela ukungena kwihlabathi elitsha ngenxa yakhe, ngokubambelela kumabhanti efaskoti yakhe.

Ndandimthanda uThixo, kodwa imeko yam yandenza ndanjengowahlukileyo kwabanye—into ebuhlungu kumntu okwishumi elivisayo. Kwakubuhlungu ukuyamkela into yokuba kwakukho izinto endandingenakuzenza. Ngokufuthi ndandisuka ndibe nomsindo, yaye oku kwafuneka ndikulawule ngaphambi kokuba ndibhaptizwe. (Galati 5:19, 20) Yaye kwakunokwenzeka ntoni ukuba ndandingaphili ngokuvisisana nozahlulelo lwam kuYehova?

Ngokwesicelo sikamama, umdala wasebandleni wathetha nam. Wacaphula umbuzo owabuzwa ngumprofeti uEliya kumaSirayeli: “Koda kube nini na nimbaxa?” (1 Kumkani 18:21) Ngokucacileyo, uYehova wayengakholiswa kukuthandabuza kwam ekwenzeni isigqibo.

Ndavuka ngokomoya ndaza ngokunyanisekileyo ndathandazela uncedo lukaYehova nokuba ndizimisele ukunikela ubomi bam kuye. Omnye udade wasebandleni wafundisisa kunye nam. Wayemncinane kunam ngeminyaka yaye wafelwa ngunina esemncinane. Sekunjalo, wazahlulela kuThixo ngoxa wayeselula.

Xa ndandineminyaka eli-17 ubudala, ndenza isigqibo. Ndandifuna ukukhonza uYehova kangangoko ndandinako. NgoAgasti 9, 1974—xa ndandibhaptizwa—yaba lolona suku lwandonwabisayo ebomini bam.

Uvuyo Kubulungiseleli

Ukuba nenxaxheba kubulungiseleli kwandizisela imiqobo eyayifana neentaba. Olona celomngeni lukhulu yayikukucacisela abantu oko ndandikuthetha. Ndandithetha ngokucacileyo kangangoko ndandinako. Ngoko, xa kuyimfuneko, umntu endihamba naye kwinkonzo yasentsimini wayedla ngokukuphinda oko bendikuthethe kumninimzi. Bambi babengakuthandi oku, bendijonga njengexhoba amaNgqina awayedlala ngalo. Kodwa ukushumayela kulilungelo lam nomnqweno osuka entliziyweni.

Ukuya kwiminyango ngeminyango kwanokuba kuphakathi kwezitrato ezibini kundenza ndife kukudinwa. Izindlu ezininzi kwintsimi esinikela kuyo ubungqina zinezinyuko, nto leyo endenza ndingakwazi ukufikelela kuzo. Ebusika, izitrato ezinomkhenkce ziwenza umsebenzi wendlu ngendlu kube nzima kwaphela ukuba ndiwenze. (IZenzo 20:20) Noko ke, abazalwana bokomoya baye bandinceda ngendlela engathethekiyo, yaye uYehova ngoku uye wandisikelela ngesihlalo esinamavili esinenjini nesenza kube lula kakhulu ukuba nesabelo kubulungiseleli.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha ndaqalisa ukunikela ubungqina ngeeleta. Ukubhala iileta ngesandla kwakungayi kuba luncedo kuba into endiyibhale ngesandla abantu abaninzi bengakwazi ukuyifunda. Ngoko ke ndandibhala ngomatshini wokuchwetheza osebenza ngombane. Ndithabatha ixesha elide xa ndichwetheza ngenxa yokungalungelelani kakuhle kwezandla zam. Malunga nesiqingatha sexesha, ndisa umnwe wam komnye unobumba kodwa ndibethe omnye. Kusenokuthabatha iyure okanye ngaphezulu ukuchwetheza iphepha nje elinye.

Ngamathuba athile ndikhonza njengovulindlela ongumncedani, ndinikela iiyure ezingama-60 okanye ngaphezulu kubulungiseleli ngenyanga. Oku kufuna ukuba ndicwangcise kakuhle, umgudu ongakumbi, nokuxhaswa ngamanye amakholwa. Umoya wawo wobuvulindlela uyandikhuthaza. Nomama uye wangumzekelo omhle ngokukhonza njengovulindlela othe ngxi okanye ongumncedani ngoxa ejamelene nobunzima, impilo enkenenkene, nocelomngeni lokukhulisa abantwana abasixhenxe kwikhaya elahluleleneyo.

Ukuya Kuzihlalela

Xa ndandineminyaka engama-24 ubudala, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndifuduke ndiye kuzihlalela. Ukuya kwam kwicandelo iBensonhurst laseBrooklyn kwaba yintsikelelo. IBandla laseMarlboro lalifana nentsapho emanyeneyo. Hayi indlela okwakulomeleza ngayo ukholo ukuba kunye nalo! Kwanaxa kwakukho iinqwelo-mafutha ezimbini okanye ezintathu kuphela ebandleni, abazalwana bokomoya babendisa kuzo zonke iintlanganiso. Kodwa andizange ndihlale kakhulu apho.

Ndiziva ndingento yanto ngokupheleleyo, ndabuyela ekhaya kwintsapho yakowethu yaye ndadandatheka ngokunzulu kangangeminyaka emithathu. Ndaphinda ndanengxaki yomsindo. Ndaqalisa ukucinga ngokuzibulala yaye amaxesha amaninzi ndandizama ukwenjenjalo. Ndandisoloko ndisoyika ukufa. Kodwa ndaqalisa ukwayama ngoThixo yaye ndathembisa ukubonakalisa uxabiso ngesipho sakhe sobomi. Ndafumana intuthuzelo nesiluleko kubadala. Oku, kunye nomthandazo, ufundisisiso lobuqu, umonde wentsapho yakowethu, noncedo lwabantu abanolwazi, kwandenza ndacinga ngendlela efanelekileyo.

KwiMboniselo, ngothando uYehova wandenza ndaluqonda udandatheko olunzulu. Ewe, ubakhathalele abantu bakhe yaye uyayiqonda indlela esivakalelwa ngayo. (1 Petros 5:6, 7) Ekuhambeni kwexesha udandatheko olunzulu lwadamba. Kwiminyaka elishumi kamva, uYehova usandinceda ukuba ndihlangabezane nokukhathazeka kunye nodandatheko. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiye ndizive ndingento yanto. Sekunjalo, umthandazo, ufundisiso lweBhayibhile, nentsapho yam yokomoya zisoloko ziluncedo.

Emva kokufuna enye indawo yokuhlala ndingayifumani, ndithandabuza ndenza isigqibo sokuhlala nentsapho yakowethu ubomi bam bonke. Ngoko uYehova wayiphendula imithandazo yam. Kwafumaneka indawo eBedford-Stuyvesant elicandelo laseBrooklyn. Ekupheleni kwehlobo lowe-1984, ndafudukela khona, yaye ndisahlala apho ukususela ngoko.

Amalungu eBandla laseLafayette elinothando ngobubele ayandisa kwiintlanganiso. Eyona nto ndisayikhumbula kakuhle sisihlandlo sokuqala endaya ngaso kwiSifundo Sencwadi Sebandla. Sasiqhutyelwa kumgangatho wesine—yaye kwakungekho lift! Ngoncedo lukaYehova ndakwazi ukunyuka ndaza ndehla kwezo zinyuko. Ekuhambeni kwexesha ndalungiselelwa indawo ekulula ngakumbi ukuya kuyo. Yaye ngoku uYehova uye wandisikelela ngelungelo lokuba iSifundo Sencwadi Sebandla siqhutyelwe ekhayeni lam.

Ngokuphawulekayo eli bandla lizaliswe ngumoya wobuvulindlela. Ukufika kwam kwakukho oovulindlela abamalunga nama-30, yaye abanye babo babendinyamekela ngendlela ekhethekileyo. Umoya wenzondelelo wandishukumisela ukuba ndibe nguvulindlela ongumncedani ngokufuthi ngakumbi.

NgoAprili 1989 iBandla laseLafayette nelasePratt akha iHolo YoBukumkani kwisitrato endihlala kuso. Oku kwenzeka ngexesha elifanelekileyo, kuba impilo yam yayibuyela kwimeko eyayikuyo kwakhona kunzima ukuhamba. Noko ke, ngesithuthi sam esinamavili amathathu kunye nenkxaso yabazalwana noodade bokomoya, ukuya nokubuya kwiintlanganiso kuluyolo. Hayi indlela endiluxabisa ngokunzulu ngayo uncedo lothando!

Ukuba Nombulelo Ngenkxaso KaThixo

Nangona imilenze yam ingaqinanga, intliziyo yam ithe nkqi. Ukufunda kwenza ubomi ababi nzima kangako, kodwa uThixo uye wandomeleza. Maxa wambi ndiye ndingazi ukuba ndiya kuphinde nditye ntoni, kodwa uYehova uye wandixhasa yaye uye wanguMniki othembekileyo. Eneneni, amazwi kaDavide axabisekile kum: “Ndakha ndamtsha, kungoku nje ndimdala; ukanti andizanga ndilibone ilungisa lishiywa, nembewu yalo ivukela ukutya.”—INdumiso 37:23-25.

Amaxesha amaninzi uYehova uye wandinceda ndakwazi ukulondoloza ukuma kwam ngokweZibhalo ngokundinceda ndale ukuthiwa igazi xa ndityandwa. (IZenzo 15:28, 29) Kutshanje, utata uye wafa. Ukulahlekelwa ngubani osondele ngolo hlobo bekubuhlungu gqitha. Kukomelezwa nguYehova kuphela okuye kwandinceda kolu vavanyo nakwezinye.

Impilo yam isenokuqhubeka isiba mandundu, kodwa ubomi bam buxhomekeke kwintembelo yam kuThixo nolwalamano lwam kunye naye. Hayi indlela endivuya ngayo kukuba phakathi kwabantu bakaYehova nokufumana inkxaso yakhe engapheliyo!