Ukuvuya Nangona Ndineziphene

Kubalisa uPaulette Gaspar

Nangona esikalini ndandiziikhilogram ezintathu ukuzalwa kwam, ugqirha wayesazi ukuba kwakukho into ethile eyayingahambi kakuhle. Xa ndandizalwa amathambo am achachamba. Kaloku ndinesifo esibizwa ngokuba yiosteogenesis imperfecta. Ngokukhawuleza ndaya kutyandwa kodwa oogqirha babengenalo ithemba lokuba ndandiza kuphila. Babecinga ukuba ndandiza kufa zingaphelanga iiyure ezingama-24.

NNDAZALELWA kwikomkhulu laseOstrelia, iCanberra, ngoJuni 14, 1972. Nangona kwakungekho themba, andizange ndife njengoko kwakulindelekile. Kodwa ke ndaba nenyumoniya. Ekubeni babecinga ukuba ndandihleli ndiza kufa kakade, oogqirha abazange bazidube ngokundinyanga belindele ukuba “ndide ndizifele.” Kodwa ke, batsho phantsi kuba nangoku ndisaphila.

Ndinokuyithelekelela kuphela intlungu ababekuyo abazali bam ngelo xesha. Abasebenzi basesibhedlele bade bacebisa abazali bam ukuba bangasondelelani kakhulu nam ekubeni kwakucingwa ukuba ndandingazukuphila xesha lide. Eneneni, kwiinyanga ezintathu ndisesibhedlele, abazali bam babengavunyelwa nokuba bandichukumise. Ndandinokonzakala lula ukuba babenokundichukumisa. Kwathi kwakucaca ukuba ndiza kuphila, oogqirha babacebisa abazali bam ukuba bandise kwikhaya labantwana abaneziphene.

Noko ke, abazali bam bona bandisa ekhaya. Kaloku, ngeloo xesha umama wayesandul’ ukuqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Izinto awazifundayo zamenza waziva enembopheleleko yokundinyamekela. Kumele ukuba kwakunzima kuye ukuba andithande ngendlela umama aluthanda ngayo usana lwakhe, kuba kwakufuneka echithe ixesha elininzi endinyamekela. Ndandiphuma ndingena esibhedlele. Amathambo am ayesophulwa yinto yonke nditsho nokuhlanjwa oku. Nditsho nokuthimla oku kwembala kwakuwenza achachambe amathambo am.

Ndadandatheka

Njengoko ndandikhula, ndandihamba ngesitulo esinamavili. Yayizicacele eyokuba ndandingenakukwazi ukuzihambela. Nangona kwakunzima, abazali bam bandinyamekela kakuhle kakhulu.

Ngaphezu koko, umama wazama kangangoko ukundifundisa inyaniso yeBhayibhile ethuthuzelayo. Ngokomzekelo, wandifundisa ukuba kwixesha elizayo, uThixo uza kuwenza umhlaba ube yiparadesi apho bonke abantu beza kuba yimiqabaqaba ngokomoya, engqondweni nasemzimbeni. (INdumiso 37:10, 11; Isaya 33:24) Umama wayengayifihli into yokuba wayengenalo ithemba lokuba ndandinokuba ngumqabaqaba kule nkqubo yezinto.

Ekuqaleni ndandifunda kwisikolo sabantwana abaneziphene. Ootishala babengenathemba lokuba ndandinokwenza inkqubela esikolweni, phofu ke nam manditsho ukuba ndandingenalo. Ukuqhubeka nesikolo kwakulucelomngeni. Abantwana abaninzi endandifunda nabo babendiphethe kakubi. Ekuhambeni kwexesha ndaya kwisikolo sikawonke wonke. Ndakufumanisa kunzima kakhulu ukuqhelana nabanye abantwana nto leyo eyayindenza ndishiyeke ndidinwe ndiyimfe. Phezu kwazo nje ezo ngxaki ndandizimisele ukufunda ndide ndigqibe.

Xa ndandifunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, ndandisithi xa ndijonga ubomi babantu endandifunda nabo ndibe nosizi xa ndibona indlela obabungenanjongo ngayo. Ndandidla ngokucamngca ngezinto andifundise zona umama eBhayibhileni. Ewe kona ndandizikholelwa ukuba zaziyinyaniso, kodwa ke ngelo xesha izinto ezifundiswa yiBhayibhile zazingangeni entliziyweni yam. Kangangexesha elithile, ndazama ukuziyolisa ndingazidubi ngokucinga ngekamva.

Xa ndandineminyaka eli-18, ndaphuma ekhaya ndaya kuhlala kwindlu eyayihlala abanye abantu abaneziphene. Ukuphuma kwam ekhaya kwandenza ndaziva ndichulumancile kodwa zazikwakho nezinto ezazindenza ndoyike. Kwakundivuyisa ukuba nenkululeko, nabahlobo abatsha. Abahlobo bam abaninzi batshata. Nam ndandikufuna ukutshata. Kodwa ngenxa yesiphene lalingekho ithemba lokuba nditshate. Le meko yandenza ndaba buhlungu.

Sekunjalo, andizange ndityhole uThixo ngemeko yam. Ndandifunde izinto ezininzi ngoThixo ngenxa yoko ndandisazi ukuba wayengenakukwenza okungekho sikweni. (Yobhi 34:10) Ndazama ukuyamkela imeko yam. Nakuba kunjalo ndadandatheka.

Ukuchacha Ngokuthe Ngcembe

Ndiyambulela umama, kuba wathi akuyazi imeko yam wathetha nomnye umdala webandla owayehlala kufutshane. Wandifowunela waza wandimemela kwiintlanganiso ezaziqhutyelwa kwiHolo yoBukumkani yamaNgqina kaYehova eyayikuloo ndawo ndandihlala kuyo. Ukongezelela koko, omnye udade waqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile nam veki nganye.

Indlela endandibujonga ngayo ubomi yatshintsha njengoko ndandikhumbula iinyaniso zeBhayibhile endandizifundiswe ngumama ngaphambili. Ndandikuthanda ukuba kunye namanye amaKristu. Noko ke, ndafunda ukukhusela iimvakalelo zam, kuba ndandingafuni ukukhubeka. Ndicinga ukuba le nto yenza kwanzima ukumthanda ngokunyanisekileyo uThixo. Nakuba kunjalo, ndandisazi ukuba ndandifanele ndahlulele ubomi bam kuye. NgoDisemba 1991, ndabonisa ukuzahlulela kwam kuYehova ngokubhaptizwa emanzini.

Ndaphuma kwindlu endandihlala kuyo netshomi zam ndaza ndaya kuzihlalela ndedwa. Ukuhlala ndedwa kweza neengenelo kodwa kwangaxeshanye kwezisa neengxaki. Enye yeengxaki endaba nazo yayikukuba lilolo. Ndandisoyika nokuhlaselwa ngamadoda ebusuku. Loo nto yandenza ndadandatheka. Nangona ndandibonakala ngathi ndonwabile, izinto zazingahambi kakuhle. Ndandimfuna ngokwenene umhlobo ohlal’ ehleli nonokuthenjwa.

Ndicinga ukuba uYehova uThixo uye wandinika umhlobo onjalo. Abadala baye bacela uSuzie, omnye udade otshatileyo ukuba aqhubeke efunda nam. USuzie akazange andifundise iBhayibhile nje kuphela kodwa waba ngumhlobo wam othandekayo.

Wandifundisa ukuba ndithethe nabanye ngezinto endandizifunda—kwindlu ngendlu nangamanye amaxesha. Ngoku ndaziqonda ngakumbi iimpawu zikaThixo. Kodwa nangona ndandibhaptiziwe ndandingamthandi uThixo. Ngesinye isihlandlo ndade ndacinga nangokuyeka ukumnqula. Ndazityand’ igila kuSuzie, yaye wandithuthuzela.

Waphinda wandinceda ndaqonda ukuba enye into eyayibangela ukuba ndinxunguphale, yayikukuba nabahlobo abangamthandi ngentliziyo yabo yonke uYehova. Ngoko ndaqalisa ukwenza ubuhlobo nabantu abamthandayo uThixo—ingakumbi abantu abakhulileyo. Ndandingavani ncam nomama nomntakwethu yaye ndaqalisa ukwenza amalinge okubuyelana nabo. Ndamangaliswa kukuba ndonwaba ngendlela endandingazange ndonwaba ngayo ngaphambili. Ndandivuyiswa kukuba nabazalwana noodade basebandleni, intsapho yam, kanti ngaphezu kwabo bonke ndandivuyiswa kukuba noYehova.—INdumiso 28:7.

Umsebenzi Omtsha

Emva kokuba ndiye endibanweni yesithili endeva kuyo intetho eyayibalaselisa uvuyo olunanditshwa ngabalungiseleli abenza umsebenzi wokushumayela ngokusisigxina, ndathi ‘nam ndimele ndibe ngomnye wabo.’ Kodwa ke ndandiqonda ukuba kwakungazukuba lula. Emva kokuyithandazela le nto ndafaka isicelo sokufundisa abantu iBhayibhile ngokusisigxina yaye ngoAprili 1998, ndaqalisa ukwenza lo msebenzi.

Ndishumayela njani ekubeni ndinesiphene? Ngendalo ndingumntu ongakuthandiyo ukuxhomekeka. Ngoko uSuzie nomyeni wakhe uMichael, bandinika eli cebiso: Zithengele isithuthuthu! Kodwa ndandinokusiqhuba njani isithuthuthu? Uya kuphawula ukuba isithuthuthu sam esikulo mfanekiso ungasekhohlo senzelwe mna ngokukhethekileyo. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ndehle kwisitulo sam esinamavili xa ndiza kusikhwela!

Isithuthuthu sam sindenza ndikwazi ukutyelela abantu nokufunda nabo iBhayibhile ngamaxesha asilungeleyo sonke. Mandivume ukuba ndiyakuthanda ukuhamba ngesi sithuthuthu sam nokubethwa ngumoya—enye yezinto ezincinane ezenza ubomi bube myoli!

Ndiyakuthanda ukuncokola nabantu esitratweni, abachubekileyo nabanentlonelo. Kuyandivuyisa ukunceda abanye bazi iBhayibhile. Ndikhumbula esinye isihlandlo xa ndandishumayela kwindlu ngendlu ndihamba nomzalwana osukileyo egadeni. Wabulisa umninimzi, owasuka wandithi ntsho ngamehlo engakholelwa waza wabuza loo mzalwana ndandihamba naye ukuba, “Ngaba uyakwazi ukuthetha?” Sasuka sayothula entungo intsini. Emva kokuba ndigqibile ukushumayela, ngokuqinisekileyo wayesazi ukuba okunene ndiyakwazi ukuthetha!

Ngoku ndiyabunandipha ubomi yaye ndifunde ukumthanda uYehova uThixo. Ndibamba ngazibini kumama ngokundifundisa iinyaniso zeBhayibhile, yaye ndikhangele phambili kwikamva elingekude xa uThixo eza ‘kuzenza ntsha zonke izinto,’ kuquka nomzimba wam ocekethekileyo.—ISityhilelo 21:4, 5.

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 30]

“Ndazama ukuyamkela imeko yam. Nakuba kunjalo ndadandatheka”