Ukungatshati Kumaxesha Anzima Kwezoqoqosho
“NDANDIFUNA ukutshata xa ndineminyaka engama-25 ubudala,” watsho uChuks, ohlala eNtshona Afrika. “Ndandinayo intombi endandicinga ngayo, yaye nayo yayinomdla kum. Ingxaki yayiyimali. Utata nomkhuluwa wam babengasebenzi, yaye abaninawa noodadewethu abancinane babesafunda. Wonke umntu wayejonge kum ukuba ndixhase intsapho. Kwandula ke, okwenza iimeko zaba mbi nangaphezulu, abazali bam bagula, yaye oko kwathetha ukuba mandifune imali eyongezelelekileyo yokuhlawula iindleko zonyango.”
UChuks, oliNgqina likaYehova, wayengafuni ukungenela umtshato engakwazi ukuxhasa umfazi. Wayecinga ngamazwi kaPawulos afumaneka kweyoku-1 kuTimoti 5:8 athi: “Ukuba ke umntu akabakhathalele [“akabondli,” NW] abakhe, ngokukodwa abendlu yakhe, ulukhanyele ukholo, unobubi ngaphezu kongakholwayo.”
UChuks wahlabela mgama esithi: “Ndasebenza nzima, kodwa andizange khe ndibe nemali eyaneleyo. Ngokomphumo, amalungiselelo ethu omtshato kwafuneka arhoxiswe izihlandlo ezininzi. Ekugqibeleni ndafumana ileta evela kule ntombi isithi kukho mntu uthile oye kuyise ukuya kucela ukuyitshata. Uyise wavuma. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ileta yayo ifikile, intsapho yayo yenza itheko lokuganana.”
NjengoChuks, amadoda amaninzi angamaKristu aye abona amalungiselelo awo omtshato ephela okanye erhoxiswa ngenxa yeemeko ezimbi zoqoqosho. Kumazwe amaninzi kukho ukunyuka okuxhomisa amehlo kwamaxabiso. Ngokomzekelo, kwelinye ilizwe elikumbindi Afrika, amaxabiso antinga ngama-8,319 ekhulwini ngonyaka! Kumazwe athile kunzima ukufumana imisebenzi. Kwakhona, ngokuqhelekileyo umvuzo mncinane kangangokuba kunzima ukuba indoda izixhase, kube nzima ngakumbi ke ukuxhasa umfazi nabantwana. Omnye umfana waseNigeria wakhalaza ngelithi umsebenzi awawufumanayo wexesha elizeleyo kumzi-mveliso wawuhlawula ii-R61 nje kuphela ngenyanga—imali engaphantsi kwayihlawula ngenyanga kuduladula ukuya nokubuya emsebenzini!
Amabhinqa amaninzi angamaKristu angatshatanga nawo afumanisa ukuba ubunzima obubangelwa zezoqoqosho buyawaphazamisa amalungiselelo awo omtshato. Ngokufuthi amele asebenze ukuze axhase amalungu entsapho. Wambi amadoda angatshatanga, akubona le meko, ayarhoxa, eqonda ukuba indoda etshata phantsi kwezi meko kuya kufuneka ukuba yamkele ngokwaneleyo ukuze ixhase kungekuphela nje umfazi kodwa kwanentsapho yakowayo. UAyo, onesidanga semfundo yaseyunivesithi, utsala nzima ukuxhasa isiqu sakhe, unina, kunye nabantakwabo noodadewabo abancinane. Ukhalaza esithi: “Ndifuna ukutshata, kodwa xa abanye besiza baze babone umthwalo omkhulu endinawo [iimbopheleleko zemali], bayandibaleka.”
Phezu kwazo nje iinzima ezibangelwa kukunqongophala kwemali, amaKristu amaninzi angatshatanga azifumana ecinezelwa zizalamane nabanye ukuba atshate aze abe nabantwana. Maxa wambi le ngcinezelo iba lugculelo. Ngokomzekelo, kwimimandla ethile yaseAfrika, kusisithethe ukuba xa ubulisa umntu omdala ubuze ngempilo yeqabane lakhe neyabantwana bakhe. Ngamanye amaxesha, loo mibuliso idla ngokusetyenziswa ukuze kuhlekiswe ngabantu abangatshatanga. UJohn, osele edlule kuhle kwiminyaka engama-40 ubudala, uthi: “Xa abantu bendiqhula besithi, ‘Unjani umfazi wakho?,’ ndibaphendula ndithi: ‘Uyeza.’ Inyaniso kukuba ndingamfuna njani umfazi ukuba andinako ukumxhasa?”
KuJohn nakwinginginya yabanye abanjengaye, le meko ishwankathelwa liqhalo lesiYoruba elithi: “Ukutshata ngokungxama akungombandela onokuqhayisa ngawo; ixabiso lokutya liyingxaki.”
Yamkele Imeko Okuyo
Hayi indlela ekulula ngayo ukudandatheka xa silangazelela okuthile okungade kufumaneke. IMizekeliso 13:12 ithi: “Ukulindela okubanjezelweyo kubulala intliziyo.” Mhlawumbi le yindlela ovakalelwa ngayo ukuba ulangazelela ukutshata kodwa ngenxa yemali akukwazi ukwenjenjalo. Oku kusenokuba yinyaniso ngokukodwa ukuba uphakathi kwabo umpostile uPawulos wabachaza ‘njengabatshisekayo.’—1 Korinte 7:9.
Ukoyisa ezi ngxaki kusenokungabi lula, kodwa kukho izinto onokuzenza ukuze unyamezele uze ude ufumane uvuyo kuloo meko ukuyo. UYesu Kristu, indoda eyayingatshatanga, wamisela umgaqo osebenzisekayo weBhayibhile onokukunceda woyise ukudana okungumphumo wokulindela okubanjezelweyo. Wathi: “Ukupha kunoyolo ngaphezu kokuphiwa.”—IZenzo 20:35.
Unokukusebenzisa oku ngokwenzela intsapho yakho nabanye ebandleni izinto ezintle. Mhlawumbi usenokwandisa umsebenzi wakho wobulungiseleli bobuKristu. Ukuba uzixakekisa ngokuzeleyo ngokupha ngokungazingci, unokufumanisa ukuba ‘uyaqina entliziyweni, unegunya ke lokwenza ngokuthanda kwakho.’—1 Korinte 7:37.
Enye indoda eyayingatshatanga, umpostile uPawulos, yabhala eli cebiso liluncedo: “Khangelani ngoko, ukuba ningathini na, ukuze kucokiseke ukuhamba kwenu; ningabi njengabaswele ubulumko, yibani njengezilumko; nizongela ixesha eli, ngokuba le mihla ayindawo.” (Efese 5:15, 16) AmaKristu amaninzi angatshatanga aye ‘ayifumanela ukuphumla imiphefumlo yawo’ ngokusebenzisa ixesha lawo ekusondeleni kuYehova ngomthandazo, ngokufundisisa iLizwi likaThixo, nokuba nenxaxheba kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. (Mateyu 11:28-30) Ukuba uyakwenza oku, uya kukwazi ukujamelana ngokunempumelelo ngakumbi nemeko enzima yezoqoqosho. Kwakhona kuya kukunceda uziphaphele ngakumbi izinto ezingokomoya obungakumbi, kukwenza ube yindoda okanye umfazi ofaneleka nangakumbi ukuba ekugqibeleni ude watshata.
Ungaze ulibale ukuba uYehova uyabakhathalela bonke abo bamkhonzayo. Uyazazi iingxaki neenzima otyhubela kuzo. Kwakhona uBawo wethu onothando wasezulwini uyakwazi okuya kukulungela ekuhambeni kwexesha, ngokomoya nangokweemvakalelo. Ukuba uyisebenzisa ngomonde imigaqo yeLizwi lakhe kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, unokuqiniseka ukuba uya kuzisa isiqabu ngexesha lakhe elifanelekileyo aze anelise iimfuno neminqweno yakho ngendlela eya kuhlala ikulungele. IBhayibhile iyasiqinisekisa: “Abahamba ngokugqibeleleyo [uYehova, NW] akabavimbi nto ilungileyo.”—INdumiso 84:11.
Zijonge Ngendlela Eyakhayo Izinto
Kwakhona khumbula ukuba kukho iingenelo eziqinisekileyo zokungatshati. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Otshatayo uyalungisa, kodwa lowo ungatshatiyo ulungisa ngokukodwa.”—1 Korinte 7:38, TE.
Kutheni ukungatshati ‘ikukulungisa ngokukodwa’ kunokutshata? UPawulos wacacisa: “Ongazekileyo uxhalele izinto zeNkosi, ukuba angathini na ukuyikholisa iNkosi. Ozekileyo ke uxhalele izinto zehlabathi, ukuba angathini na ukumkholisa umkakhe [“yaye ke wahlulelene,” NW]. Umfazi nentombi akufani. Ongendileyo uxhalela izinto zeNkosi, ukuze abe ngcwele ngomzimba nangomoya; owendileyo ke uxhalela izinto zehlabathi, ukuba angathini na ukuyikholisa indoda yakhe.”—1 Korinte 7:32-34.
Ngamanye amazwi, amaKristu atshatileyo ngokufanelekileyo axhalabele iimfuno, okuthandwa, nokungathandwa ngamaqabane awo. Kodwa amaKristu angatshatanga anokunikela ingqalelo engakumbi enkonzweni kaYehova. Xa ethelekiswa nalawo atshatileyo, amaKristu angatshatanga akulungele ngakumbi ‘ukuyikhonza iNkosi engaphazanyiswa.’—1 Korinte 7:35, TE.
UPawulos akathi amaKristu angatshatanga akaphazanyiswa. Ukuba usindwa ziingxaki zezoqoqosho, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba kukho izinto ezininzi ezifuna ukukuphazamisa kubulungiseleli bakho. Sekunjalo, inkululeko yobuqu yokukhonza uThixo ngokuqhelekileyo iba nkulu kwindoda okanye kwibhinqa elingatshatanga kunokuba kunjalo kwabo batshatileyo.
Ngoxa wayencomela ukungatshati njengendlela ebhetele, umpostile uPawulos wayengathi kuphosakele ukutshata. Wabhala wathi: “Kodwa ke ukuba uyatshata akonanga.” Kodwa walumkisa: “Kodwa ke abatshatileyo baya kuhlala befikelwa ziingxaki.”—1 Korinte 7:28, TE.
Wayethetha ukuthini xa wayesitsho? Umtshato uzisa amaxhala athile. Kumaxesha anzima ngokwezoqoqosho, ezo ngxaki ziquka ukuxhalabela kukatata ukondla umfazi kunye nabantwana bakhe. Kwakhona ukugula kunokuzisa imithwalo eyongezelelekileyo yemali neyeemvakalelo entsatsheni.
Ngoko ngoxa imeko yakho isenokuba ngongayithandiyo, usenokuba ukwimeko elunge ngakumbi kunokuba ubuya kuba njalo ukuba ubutshatile yaye unembopheleleko yabantwana. Iinzima ojamelene nazo ngoku zezokwexeshana; ziya kushenxiswa kwinkqubo kaThixo entsha—yaye mhlawumbi zimbi zazo nangaphambi koko.—Thelekisa INdumiso 145:16.
Ngaba Unokubandisa Ubulungiseleli Bakho?
Ngoxa kungenakwenziwa ngumntu wonke oko, bambi baye bakwazi ukungenela inkonzo yexesha elizeleyo phezu kwazo nje iingxaki zemali. UChuks, okhankanywe ngaphambilana, wathenga izinto zokubhala neencwadi waza wazithengisa ukuze axhase intsapho yakhe. Malunga nexesha lokusilela kwamalungiselelo akhe omtshato, wafumana ileta eyayimmemela ukuba ayokwenza umsebenzi wokwakha wexeshana kwiofisi yesebe lasekuhlaleni leWatch Tower Society. Exhalabele imali, umkhuluwa wakhe wamnqanda ukuba angayi. Noko ke, uChuks waqiqa ngelithi uYehova wayemncedile ukuba aqalise ishishini lakhe leencwadi, ngoko wayefanele abeke izilangazelelo zoBukumkani kuqala aze akholose ngamandla kaThixo okulungiselela. (Mateyu 6:25-34) Ukongezelela, wayecinga ukuba, kwakuza kuba lixesha leenyanga ezintathu kuphela.
UChuks wasamkela eso simemo waza ishishini lakhe walinikezela kumkhuluwa wakhe. Kwiminyaka emithandathu kamva, uChuks usekwinkonzo yexesha elizeleyo, ungumdala kwibandla lamaKristu, yaye unemali eyaneleyo ukuba angatshata. Ngaba uyazisola ngendlela izinto eziye zahamba ngayo ebomini bakhe? UChuks uthi: “Ndadana xa ndandingakwazi ukutshata ngoxa ndandifuna, kodwa ngokwenene izinto ziye zandihambela kakuhle. Ndiye ndafumana uvuyo namalungelo enkonzo amaninzi ekunokwenzeka ukuba ngendandingawanandiphanga ukuba ndanditshate ngoko ndaza ndanentsapho.”
Ukunqabiseka Kwixesha Elizayo
Kumaxesha anzima abaninzi bafuna unqabiseko lomtshato njengokhuselo kwiinzima ezibangelwa yimali kwixesha elizayo. Wambi amazwe, asindwa ngamatyala, anikela uncedo oluncinane okanye angaqalisi kwaukulunikela kubantu abalupheleyo. Ngoko abazali ngokufuthi baxhomekeka kwiintsapho zabo, yaye ngokukodwa kubantwana babo, ukuba babaxhase ngexesha lokwaluphala. Ngokomphumo, amadoda namabhinqa angatshatanga ngokufuthi anyanzeleka ukuba atshate aze abe nabantwana, kwanaxa imeko yabo ngokwemali ixengaxenga.
Kodwa ukutshata nokuba nabantwana akusosiqinisekiso sonqabiseko. Bambi kubantwana behlabathi abakulungelanga ukunyamekela abazali abalupheleyo, abanye abakwazi, ngoxa abanye besifa ngaphambi kokuba abazali babo bafe. AmaKristu akhangele kunqabiseko olubalulekileyo olukwenye indawo, ekhumbula idinga likaThixo: “Andiyi kukha ndikuyekele; wabuya wathi, Andiyi kukha ndikushiye.”—Hebhere 13:5.
Abo baye bawurhoxisa umtshato ukuze bakhonze uYehova ixesha elizeleyo abakhange bashiywe. UChristiana akatshatanga yaye uneminyaka engama-32 ubudala. Uye wakhonza njengovulindlela othe ngxi eNigeria kwiminyaka esithoba edluleyo. Uthi: “Ndikholosa ngoYehova, osiqinisekisayo ukuba akayi kubalahla abakhonzi bakhe. Ndithembele kwidinga lakhe. UYehova uyandinyamekela ngokomoya nangezinto eziphathekayo. Uzingqine enguBawo ophayo. Ngokomzekelo, ndaya kuba nguvulindlela kummandla apho imfuneko yamaNgqina inkulu khona. Nangona zimbalwa izinto ezenza kube mnandi, ndiye ndafunda ukuphila ngazo. Xa ndalaliswa esibhedlele ngenxa yesifo seentwala, abazalwana bebandla endandisuka kulo ngaphambili bathontelana ukuza kundinceda.
“Ndaneliseke gqitha yinkonzo yexesha elizeleyo. Ndikujonga njengelungelo elikhulu ukusebenza noMdali wendalo iphela kunye nabazalwana noodade abaninzi kangaka ehlabathini jikelele. Ndibona abantu abaselula abaninzi abadimazekileyo nabaphelelwe lithemba ngenxa yezinto ezenzekayo kubo. Kodwa mna, ubomi bam bunenjongo; ndikhangele phambili kwikamva ngentembelo. Ndiyazi ukuba ukusondela kuYehova kusesona sicombululo silungileyo kwiingxaki esijamelana nazo namhlanje.”
Ukuba ulangazelela ukutshata kodwa akukwazi ngenxa yobunzima bezoqoqosho, khalipha! Asinguwe wedwa. Kukho abaninzi abanyamezela izilingo ezifanayo ngoncedo lukaYehova. Yamkele imeko yakho ngokuziqhelanisa nokwenzela abanye izinto ezintle nangokuphucula imeko yakho engokomoya. Sondela kuThixo; uya kukunceda kuba ukukhathalele ngokwenene.—1 Petros 5:7.