Kutheni Umele Ukoyise Ukuthanda Ukugqibelela?
Ngaba usoloko uzabalazela ukwenza izinto ngeyona ndlela isemagqabini? Kucacile ukuba ukwenjenjalo kwakho kuzisa iingenelo kuwe nakwabo bakungqongileyo ngeendlela ezininzi. Kwelinye icala, abanye baye bagabadela kulo mba baza bathanda ukugqibelela. Ithetha ntoni loo nto?
KALOKU, enye intsingiselo yegama eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “ukuthanda ukugqibelela” ithi “kukutyekela ekugqaleni nantoni na engagqibelelanga njengengamkelekanga.” Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhe wadibana nabantu abanjalo. Unokubona ukuba izinto ezigabadeleyo abazifuna kwabanye zinokubangela iingxaki, zidale ukunganeliseki nokudimazeka. Inkoliso yabantu abalungeleleneyo iya kuqonda ukuba ukuthanda ukugqibelela ngendlela ebaxiweyo nengekho ngqiqweni kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi akuyonto inqweneleka ncam. Ngumkhwa omele woyiswe. Noko ke, ingxaki isekubeni xa kufikwa kwisimo sengqondo sethu, kusenokuba nzima ukulubona utyekelo lokuthanda ukugqibelela, ngoko kulucelomngeni ukuloyisa.
UNelson uthwaliswe imbopheleleko enkulu yaye kukho iingxaki ezininzi afanele azicombulule. Usoloko ebala rhoqo, kwaye eyona nto iphambili kuye yimveliso. Ukuthanda izinto ezigqibeleleyo kudla ngokugqalwa njengemfuneko ukuze ubani aphumelele ekufumaneni umsebenzi oncumisayo. Nangona abanye besenokuyixabisa into yokuba uNelson ekhuthele, ukuthanda kwakhe izinto ezigqibeleleyo kuyiphatha kakubi impilo yakhe, uphathwa yintloko yaye axinezeleke. Ngaba imeko yakho iyafana nekaNelson?
Nabantu abaselula bayachatshazelwa kukuthanda izinto ezigqibeleleyo. Xa wayesengumntwana, uRita waseRio de Janeiro wayesithanda isikolo. Wayezama ukuba angabonakali engumntu onamabhongo, ukanti wayexheleka xa engafumananga manqaku aphezulu. URita uthi: “Ukususela ebuntwaneni, ndandizithelekisa nabanye ababenexesha elininzi, ngoxa mna ndandisoloko ndixinezelekile kwaye ndileqeka ekwenzeni izinto. Andizange ndikhe ndivakalelwe kukuba ndinexesha lokuphumla kuba kwakusoloko kukho izinto ezifuna ukwenziwa.”
Xa wayeseyintwazana, uMaria wayekhala iinyembezi ekhathazekile xa engakwazi ukuzoba kakuhle njengabanye. Ngaphezu koko, kwimizamo yakhe yokuba yingcungela kumculo, wayedla ngokuxinezeleka yaye axhalabe kunokuba anandiphe loo mculo awudlalayo okanye awuculayo. Enye intombazana yaseBrazil, uTânia, eyazama ukusebenzisa ukuqonda yaza yaphepha ukukhuphisana, yavuma ukuba yaqhubeka izibekele imilinganiselo ephakame gqitha, esikolweni nasekhaya. Yayivakalelwa kukuba xa umsebenzi wayo ungagqibelelanga, abantu babengayi kuyithanda. Ngaphezu koko, maxa wambi uTânia wayelindela okukhulu gqitha kwabanye, nto leyo eyayimenza azive ephoxekile yaye edanile.
Nangona kubalulekile ukuba nobuchule, ukukhuthala nemvo yolwaneliseko, iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo, ezinjengokoyika ukusilela, zisenokubangelwa kukubeka usukelo olungafikelelekiyo. Abazali okanye abanye abantu basenokumisela owona mgangatho uphakamileyo kumsebenzi wesikolo okanye kwimidlalo baze abaselula bakufumanise kunzima ukuwufikelela. Ngokomzekelo, unina kaRicardo wayelindele lukhulu kuye, efuna ukuba abe ngugqirha, adlale ipiyano yaye akwazi ukuthetha iilwimi eziliqela. Uyayibona na phofu ukuba le ndlela, xa ibaxiwe, idala iingxaki kunye nokuphoxeka?
Kutheni Ufanele Ukuphephe Ukuthanda Ukugqibelela?
Umsebenzi okumgangatho ophezulu, ukuhlangabezana nemilinganiselo ephakamileyo yobugcisa nobungcungela, kuyafuneka. Ngenxa yoko abantu bamele bakhuphisane emisebenzini. Enye into ebangela abaninzi ukuba bazibhokoxe ngakumbi nangakumbi kukoyika ukuphulukana netorho yabo. Abanye abasebenzi banjengembaleki ezibhokoxa ngokubaxiweyo ukuze imisele irekhodi entsha. Ithi yakujamelana nokhuphiswano oluqatha, izive inyanzelekile ukuba iziqeqeshe nangakumbi, mhlawumbi isebenzisa imichiza ethile ukuze iphucule yaye—inethemba lokuba—yophumelela. Endaweni yokuba nomnqweno ofanelekileyo wokwenza okusemagqabini, ukuthanda ukugqibelela kubangela abantu “bashukunyiswe kukoyika ukusilela” okanye “baqhutyelwe ekubeni baphume phambili.”—The Feeling Good Handbook.
Kuyavunywa ukuba abanye bavakalelwa kukuba oko banokukwenza kubugcisa okanye kwezemidlalo basenokukuphucula. Ukanti ngokutsho kukaGqr. Robert S. Eliot, “ukuthanda ukugqibelela lulindelo olungade luzaliseke.” Uyongezelela: “Kubangelwa kukuziva unetyala, ukuzikhusela nokoyika ukugculelwa.” Ngoko, hayi indlela ayinyaniso ngayo amazwi kaKumkani uSolomon athi: “Mna ndakubona konke ukusebenza nzima nabo bonke ubugcisa emsebenzini, oko kuthetha ukusukuzana omnye nomnye; kwanako oko kungamampunge nokusukelana nomoya.”—INtshumayeli 4:4.
Yintoni onokuyenza ukuba utyekele ekuthandeni ukugqibelela? Ngaba kuyinyaniso ukuba okukhona uzibhokoxa ngakumbi kokukhona uphoxeka ngakumbi? Ngaba akungethandi ukuba ngumntu ongafuni lukhulu kodwa ube ngopholileyo? Kuthetha ntoni ukugqibelela? Ngaba ulangazelela ukwenza okona kusemandleni akho ngoxa uphepha ukuthanda ukugqibelela? Ukuba abantu abangafezekanga banokusebenzisa amandla abawanikwe nguThixo ukuze bafumane izinto ezithile eziyingenelo kwabanye, khawuthelekelele ukuba uluntu beluya kuphumeza lukhulu kangakanani phantsi kweemeko ezigqibeleleyo naphantsi kolwalathiso lobuthixo!
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 4]
Abazali okanye abanye basenokufuna abantwana bagqibelele, nto leyo abangenakuyifikelela