ULUTSHA LUYABUZA
Ndiza kwenza ntoni xa ndihlutshwa ngabanye?
Kwakhona, phulaphula amacebiso eetshomi zakho nezinto ezithethwa ngootitshala ngokuhlutshwa kwabanye uze dlale umdlalo ongokuhlupha abanye.
Ukuhlutshwa ngabanye akuyonto ingenamsebenzi. Iingxelo zohlolisiso olwenziwe eBritani eziye zakhutshwa kumaziko osasazo zibonisa ukuba abantu abasebatsha abangaphezulu kwabayi-40 pesenti baye bazibulala ngenxa yokuhlutshwa.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuhlupha abanye?
Ukuhlupha abanye akupheleli nje ekubetheni abanye emzimbeni. Kunokuquka nezi zinto zilandelayo.
Ukugezela abanye. UCeline ona-20 uthi: “Amantombazana anokuthetha amazwi ahlabayo. Andinakuze ndiwalibale amagama awandibiza ngawo nezinye izinto awazithethayo. Andenza ndaziva ndingento yanto. Akwaba ayesuke andibetha kunale into.”
Ukungabi nazitshomi. UHaley ona-18 uthi: “Abany’ abantwana endihamba nabo isikolo baqalisa ukungahambi nam. Babengafuni ndihlale nabo ngexesha lesidlo, nto leyo eyabangela ukuba ndihlale ndodwa unyaka wonke. Ndandisitya ndodwa yaye ndikhala.”
Imiyalezo ehluphayo oyithunyelelwa ngefowuni okanye ngekhompyutha. UDaniel ona-14 uthi: “Ungayixhola nje kabini okanye kathathu ikhompyutha, ulingcolise igama elihle lomnye umntu—okanye ubomi bakhe. Kusenokubonakala ngathi ndiyazibaxa izinto, kodwa le nto inokwenzeka!” Usenokuthunyelelwa iifoto ezikuhluphayo okanye imiyalezo ongayithandiyo kwiselfowuni.
Kutheni abantu behlupha abanye?
Nazi izinto ezidla ngokuba ngunobangela.
Nabo bakhe bahlutshwa. Umfana oselula ogama linguAntonio uthi: “Ndazixelela ukuba kwanele, andizukuyinyamezela into yokuphathwa kakubi ngoontanga bam, ngoko nam ndaqalisa ukuhlupha abanye ukuze ndamkeleke kwiintanga zam. Ekuhambeni kwexesha ndayicinga le nto ndaza ndayibona indlela engafanelekanga ngayo!”
Abanabantu abanokujonga kubo njengemizekelo emihle. Kwincwadi yakhe ethi Life Strategies for Dealing With Bullies, uJay McGraw uthi: “Amaxesha amaninzi abantu abahlupha abanye, badla . . . ngokubona kwindlela abazali, oosisi noobhuti babo okanye amanye amalungu entsapho ababaphatha ngayo abanye.”
Bazenza ngathi babhetele kunabanye—kodwa akunjalo. Kwincwadi yakhe ethi The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, uBarbara Coloroso uthi: “Abantwana abahlupha abanye bazenza bhetele kunabanye. Leyo yindlela abayifihla ngayo intlungu yabo nokuziva bengelutho.”
Ngoobani abadla ngokuhlutshwa?
Umntu osoloko ehamba yedwa. Olunye ulutsha olungakwaziyo ukuncokola luyazahlula kwabanye luze ngaloo ndlela lube ngamaxhoba okuhlutshwa.
Ulutsha olujongwa njengolwahlukileyo. Oku kusenokubangelwa yimbonakalo yalo, uhlanga okanye unqulo, nkqu nokuba nesiphene—nayiphi na into olunokugezelwa ngayo.
Ulutsha olungazithembanga. Umntu ohluphayo unokumbona umntu ongazithembanga. Abantu abanjalo baba zizisulu ekubeni bengakulungelanga ukuzikhusela.
Yintoni onokuyenza xa uhlutshwa?
Sukubahoya. UKylie uthi: “Abantu abahlupha abanye bayafuna ukubona ukuba yenzekile into ebebeyifuna xa bekugezela ukuze uzicaphukele. Ukuba akubahoyi, bayakuyeka.” IBhayibhile ithi: “Isilumko siwugcina uzolile [umoya waso] kude kuse ekupheleni.”—IMizekeliso 29:11.
Musa ukuziphindezela. Ukubuyisa isixhiba kudala ezinye iingxaki, akuziphelisi. IBhayibhile ithi: “Musani ukubuyisela ububi ngobubi nakubani na.”—Roma 12:17; IMizekeliso 24:19.
Musa ukuzifaka engxakini. Cezela kude kangangoko kunokwenzeka kubantu okanye kwiimeko ezinokubangela ugezelwe.—IMizekeliso 22:3.
Yenza into ongakhange ucingelwe kuyo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Impendulo, xa inobulali, isusa umsindo.”—IMizekeliso 15:1.
Yiba liqhula. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntu ukugezela ngokuthi utyebile, suka nje wena uthi: “Yho, kuza kufuneka ndihle.”
Suka nje uhambe. UNora ona-19 uthi: “Xa uthula, loo nto ibonisa ukuba ukhulile kunaloo mntu ukuhluphayo yaye uyakwazi ukuzibamba—zinto ezo angenazo yena.”
Zithembe. Intombazana egama linguRita ithi: “Abantu abagezayo bayakubona xa ungazithembanga yaye banokwenza kuphele naloo ntwana yokuzithemba ubunayo.”
Xelela omnye umntu. Ngokutsho kolunye uhlolisiso, abantu abangaphezulu kwesiqingatha ababa ngamaxhoba okuhlutshwa ngemiyalezo ethunyelwa ngekhompyutha abayixeli loo nto, mhlawumbi kuba besoyika ukuhlazeka (ngokukodwa abantwana abangamakhwenkwe). Kodwa uze ukhumbule, abantu abakugezelayo bayaphumelela xa uzifihla izinto abakwenza zona. Ukuxela kunokuba linyathelo lokuqala lokuphelisa lo mkhwa.