Ukwahlukana Nomkhwa Wokungcungcuthekisa Abanye

‘Umntu uyawufunda umkhwa wokungcungcuthekisa abanye yaye nantoni na umntu aye wayifunda unokwahlukana nayo.’—UGqr. C. Sally Murphy.

UMNTU ongcungcuthekisa omnye nalowo ungcungcuthekiswayo bobabini bayalufuna uncedo. Umngcungcuthekisi kufuneka afunde indlela yokuphatha abanye ngaphandle kokusebenzisa kakubi igunya analo. Yaye ixhoba lokungcungcuthekiswa kufuneka lifunde indlela yokuhlangabezana nale ngxaki.

Umngcungcuthekisi udla ngokungakwazi ukubaphatha abanye yaye udla ngokungayazi indlela abavakalelwa ngayo abo bantu abaphatha kakubi. Ufuna ukubekw’ esweni aze afundiswe indlela efanelekileyo yokuthetha nabanye. Incwadi ethi Take Action Against Bullying ithi: “Ngaphandle kokuba bafunde indlela entsha yokuziphatha, abantu abangcungcuthekisa abanye baqhubeka naloo mkhwa ubomi babo bonke. Bangcungcuthekisa amaqabane abo, abantwana babo yaye badla ngokungcungcuthekisa nabantu abasebenza ngaphantsi kwabo.”

Bafundise Ukungabangcungcuthekisi Abanye

Ukufundisa abantwana besebancinane ukuba babe nolwazelelelo kunokubanceda bangabi ngabangcungcuthekisi. Kwamanye amazwe, abahlohli basebenzisa inkqubo entsha yokufundisa abayibiza ngokuba kukuqeqeshelwa ukuba nolwazelelelo. Injongo kukufundisa abantwana abasusela kwiminyaka emihlanu ukuba baqonde indlela abavakalelwa ngayo abanye baze baphathe abantu ngobubele. Ngoxa isencinane kakhulu inkcazelo ngokuphathelele iingenelo zale nkqubo, imiphumo esele iphawuleka ibonisa ukuba abo baye bafumana olu qeqesho abakho ndlongondlongo njengabo bangakhange balufumane.

Njengomzali, akufanele ulindele ukuba abantwana bakho bafumane olo qeqesho kwinkqubo ethile yesikolo. Ukuba akufuni umntwana wakho abe ngumngcungcuthekisi, kufuneka umfundise yaye ube ngumzekelo ngokuphatha abanye ngentlonelo nesidima. Yintoni enokukunceda? Mhlawumbi, unawo umthombo obalaseleyo woqeqesho nangona ungaxatyiswanga—iLizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile. Inokukunceda njani?

Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ifundisa ngokucacileyo ngendlela uThixo avakalelwa ngayo ngokungcungcuthekisa abanye. Uyakucekisa! IBhayibhile ithi ngoThixo: “Umphefumlo Wakhe umthiyile ngokuqinisekileyo nabani na othanda ugonyamelo.” (INdumiso 11:5) Ngapha koko, uThixo uyakubona konke okwenzekayo. IBhayibhile ithi wayezisola, okanye abe buhlungu ngamaSirayeli xa ayekhathazekile ‘ngenxa yabacinezeli bawo nabo babewatyhalatyhala.’ (ABagwebi 2:18) Izihlandlo ezininzi uThixo wayebohlwaya abo babelisebenzisa kakubi igunya labo nabo babengcungcuthekisa abantu ababuthathaka nabangakwaziyo ukuzikhusela.—Eksodus 22:22-24.

IBhayibhile iqulethe owona myalelo waziwayo ngokuphathelele ukuba novelwano. UYesu wathi: “Zonke izinto, ngoko, enifuna abantu bazenze kuni, yenzani ngokunjalo nani kubo.” (Mateyu 7:12) Ukufundisa abantwana ukuba bagcine uMthetho Omkhulu—bawuthande baze baphile ngokuvisisana nawo—akulula; kufuneka abazali babe ngumzekelo omhle kule nkalo, bazingise yaye bazibhokoxe, ingakumbi kuba abantwana abancinane bayazingca ngokwemvelo. Kodwa ukwenza loo mgudu kuyingenelo. Ukuba abantwana bakho bafunda ukubonakalisa ububele novelwano, baya kukwenyanya ukungcungcuthekisa abanye.

Uncedo Kumaxhoba

Amaxhoba okungcungcuthekiswa, ngokukodwa lawo aselula, ajamelene nocelomngeni—ukukwazi ukuzola xa exinezelekile. Xa umntu ekungcungcuthekisa, mhlawumbi ufuna ungakwazi ukuba ngolungeleleneyo. Ucinga ukuba uza kuba lugcalagcala ngumsindo okanye woyike. Ukuba uba nomsindo, okanye ulile uzibonakalise ukuba ukhathazekile okanye uyoyika, uyamvuyisa lowo ukungcungcuthekisayo. Ngenxa yoko usenokuzama ukusoloko ekucaphukisa ngalo lonke ixesha.

Yintoni onokuyenza? Phawula la macebiso alandelayo. Ngokuyintloko, abhalelwe abaselula, kodwa anokuba luncedo nakubantu abadala abangcungcuthekiswayo.

◼ Zola. Musa ukubhabhazela ngumsindo. Icebiso lobulumko eliseBhayibhileni lithi: “Wuyeke umsindo uyishiye ingqumbo.” (INdumiso 37:8) Xa ungakwazi ukulawula umsindo wakho, ubangela ukuba loo mntu ukungcungcuthekisayo adlale ngawe, yaye usenokwenza izinto oya kuzisola ngazo kamva.—IMizekeliso 25:28.

◼ Zama ukuyikhupha engqondweni yakho ingcinga yokuziphindezela. Ukuziphindezela kudla ngokuvusela umntu ezinye iingxaki. Eneneni, ukuziphindezela akubangeli lwaneliseko. Enye intwazana eyabethwa ngabanye abaselula abahlanu xa yayineminyaka eli-16 ubudala, ithi: “Ndathi entliziyweni yam, ‘Ndiza kubafumana.’ Ngoko ndancediswa ngabahlobo bam ndaza ndaziphindezela kwababini babo babendihlasela.” Waba yintoni umphumo? Le ntwazana ithi: “Ndaba nomvandedwa.” Yaye indlela eyayiziphethe ngayo yaya iwohloka ngokuwohloka emva koko. Khumbula amazwi obulumko aseBhayibhileni: “Musani ukubuyisela ububi ngobubi nakubani na.”—Roma 12:17.

◼ Xa ubona ukuba izinto ziyonakala, mka apho ngokukhawuleza. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.” (IMizekeliso 17:14) Zama ukubaphepha abo bathanda ukungcungcuthekisa abanye. IMizekeliso 22:3 ithi: “Onobuqili ubona intlekele azifihle, kodwa abangenamava bayadlula baze bafumane isohlwayo.”

◼ Ukuba lowo ukungcungcuthekisayo uyaqhubeka nalo mkhwa, kusenokufuneka umchazele ngokuthe ngqo indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Thetha naye xa uzolile, mjonge ntsho emehlweni uze uqinise ilizwi. Mxelele ukuba akuyithandi le nto ayenzayo—ayihlekisi yaye iyakukhathaza. Ungamthuki okanye umcel’ umngeni.—IMizekeliso 15:1.

◼ Thetha nomntu omdala omthembayo nonenkathalo ngale ngxaki. Mchazele ngokucacileyo ngale ngxaki uze ucele uncedo ngendlela yokuhlangabezana nayo. Yichaze ngokucacileyo ingxaki yakho naxa uthandaza kuThixo, yaye oku kunokuba ngowona mthombo woncedo nentuthuzelo.—1 Tesalonika 5:17.

◼ Khumbula ukuba uxabisekile. Umntu okungcungcuthekisayo usenokufuna ucinge ukuba akuxabisekanga, yaye ufanele uphathwe kakubi. Kodwa akangomgwebi wakho. NguThixo umgwebi yaye ukhangela okulungileyo kuye ngamnye wethu. Oyena mntu ungaxabisekanga nguye ngenxa yalo mkhwa awenzayo.

Bazali—Khuselani Abantwana Benu

Abazali banokuqala ukuxhobisa abantwana babo beselula ukuze bakwazi ukuhlangabezana nabangcungcuthekisi. Ngokomzekelo, basenokudlala imidlalo nabantwana babo bababonise indlela yokubonakalisa inkalipho.

Kwanendlela omi ngayo—ukuma nkqo—inokubangela abanye abangcungcuthekisi babe mathidala ukudlala ngawe. Ukumjonga ntsho emehlweni, ukungadlalisi ngezandla nokuthetha ngelizwi eliqinileyo kunokunceda. Abazali babongozwa ukuba bafundise abantwana babo ukuba bemke kwindawo enabangcungcuthekisi, babaphephe baze bacele uncedo kumntu omdala abamthembayo, njengomfundisi-ntsapho.

Ukuze kupheliswe umkhwa wokungcungcuthekiswa kwabantu kufanele kuqale kufundiswe intsapho. Abazali abazenza bafumaneke kubantwana babo, babaphulaphule ngenyameko nangovelwano xa bechaza izinto ezibaxhalabisayo, babangela ukuba abantwana bazive befunwa, bekhathalelwe yaye bethandwa. Iingcali ezininzi ezinikela amacebiso ngendlela yokukhulisa abantwana nangeengxaki abantwana abajamelana nazo koontanga babo, zibongoza abazali ukuba bancede abantwana babo babe nembono efanelekileyo ngeziqu zabo. Oko kubenza bangakhangeleki njengamaxhoba kubangcungcuthekisi.

Kodwa kufuneka unganeli nje ukuthetha. Kufuneka lungu ngalinye lentsapho lifunde ukuphatha abanye ngentlonelo nesidima lize lizifundise ukubonakalisa uvelwano. Ngoko musa ukukunyamezela ukungcungcuthekisana kwabanye ekhayeni lakho. Ikhaya lenu malibe likhusi, kubekho intlonelo nothando.

Ukuphela Kokungcungcuthekiswa Kwabanye

‘Xa umntu elawula umntu iba kukwenzakala kwakhe.’ (INtshumayeli 8:9) Leyo yindlela iBhayibhile eyishwankathela ngayo imbali yabantu. Eneneni, ukungcungcuthekiswa kwabantu bekuthwaxa uluntu kangangamawaka eminyaka. Omnye umbhali weBhayibhile wathi: “Ndabuya ke ndazibona zonke izenzo zengcinezelo ezenziwayo phantsi kwelanga, yaye, khangela! iinyembezi zabo bacinezelweyo, kodwa bengenamthuthuzeli; yaye kwicala labacinezeli kwakukho amandla, khon’ ukuze bangabi namthuthuzeli.”—INtshumayeli 4:1.

Noko ke, uThixo ngokuqinisekileyo uyakubona ukungcungcuthekiswa kwabantu ehlabathini, yaye unovelwano ngabo bacinezelwayo. Kodwa ngaba ikho into aza kuyenza ngako? Ewe, uza kwenza okuthile! Phawula isithembiso sakhe esifumaneka kuMika 4:4: “Kwaye okunene baya kuhlala, ngamnye phantsi komdiliya wakhe naphantsi komkhiwane wakhe, yaye akuyi kubakho bani ubangcangcazelisayo; kuba wona kanye umlomo kaYehova wemikhosi ukuthethile oko.”

Khawube nomfanekiso ngqondweni wehlabathi xa sele sizalisekile eso sithembiso. Akukho mntu ungcangcazelisa abanye—akukho bangcungcuthekisi! Ngaba oku kuvakala kubangel’ umdla? Kodwa uThixo akanelanga nje kukwenza isithembiso esinjalo ngekamva. Kanye ngoku, emhlabeni wonke kukho inkqubo ebalaseleyo yokufundiswa kwabantu iBhayibhile. Inemiphumo emihle kakhulu. Abo babandakanyekileyo kuyo bafundiswa ukuba bayeke ukuba ndlongondlongo, bafundiswa ukuba seluxolweni nabanye nokuphatha abanye ngentlonelo nesidima. (Efese 4:22-24) Kungekudala, imiphumo yolu qeqesho lubalaseleyo iya kuzalisa umhlaba wonke, yaye ingxaki yokungcungcuthekiswa kwabantu ayiyi kubakho. Izithembiso zikaThixo eziseBhayibhileni ziya kuzaliseka. Bonke abantu abaya kuba bephila ngelo xesha baya kunandipha ukuhlala kwihlabathi elingenabangcungcuthekisi!

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]

Akukho sizathu sokuba neentloni zokumka kuloo ndawo enomntu okungcungcuthekisayo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 17]

Xa intsapho yonwabile, abantwana bafundiswa ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iintlobo zokungcungcuthekiswa

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 18]

Fundisa abantwana bakho ukuba bakwazi ukuzithethela ngenkalipho kodwa basebenzise ubuchule