Sayifumana Into Esasiyifuna

Kubalisa uBert Tallman

Ndikhumbula ndisemncinane sihlala kwiBlood Reserve, indawo eyayihlala uhlanga lwamaBlackfoot eAlberta, eKhanada. Sasihlala kufuphi neentaba iiRocky neChibi elihle iLouise.

NDISUKA kwintsapho enabafana abasixhenxe namantombazana amabini. Mna nabaninawa bam noodadewethu sasidla ngokuya kwamakhulu. Wayezibhokoxa emsebenzini yaye wasifundisa namasiko amaBlackfoot. Safunda indlela yokuqokelela amaqunube asendle, ukupheka ukutya kwesintu nokutyala. Utatomkhulu notata babedla ngokuhamba nam xa beyokuzingela naxa beyokuloba. Sasidla ngokuzingela iielk, amaxhama neemoose ukuze sifumane inyama yazo nezikhumba. Abazali bam babezibhokoxa emsebenzini yaye besenza konke okusemandleni ukuze basinyamekele. Ndandikuthanda ukuhlala kwireserve.

Kodwa ke izinto zatshintsha ukufa kukamakhulu ngowe-1963. Ekubeni ndandineminyaka emihlanu ubudala ngelo xesha, ndandididekile. Kwakungekho nto indithuthuzelayo. Nangona ndandisemncinane, ndandizibuza, ‘Ukuba ukho uMdali, uphi? Kutheni abantu besifa?’ Maxa wambi ndandimbombozela ngenxa yokucaphuka. Xa abazali bam bendibuza ukuba yintoni ingxaki, ndandidla ngokuthi ndiyaqaqanjelwa.

Ukudibana Nabantu Abamhlophe

Ngaphambi kokuba umakhulu afe, sasingafane sidibane nabantu abamhlophe. Nanini na ndibabona, ndandisiva abantu besithi: “Abantu abamhlophe bayafana, bakhohlakele, banyolukile yaye abananceba. Abalunganga aba bantu.” Ndaxelelwa ukuba bambalwa abantu abamhlophe abanyanisekileyo. Nangona ndandinomdla wokudibana nabo, ndazibamba, kuba abantu abamhlophe kwindawo esasihlala kuyo babesigculela yaye bethetha kakubi ngathi.

Kungekudala emva kokufa kukamakhulu, abazali bam baqalisa ukunxila, nto leyo eyandenza ndadandatheka kakhulu. Xa ndandineminyaka esibhozo ubudala, saqalisa ukutyelelwa ngamaMormon ekhaya. Ayebonakala elungile. Kangangokuba abazali bam bavuma ukuba ndiye kuhlala nabamhlophe, kuba kusitsho amaMormon. Abantwana bamaIndiya ababehlaliswa nabamhlophe babeguqulwa ukuze bafane nabamhlophe. Ngenxa yemeko yabo, abazali bam babona kubhetele ukuba ndihlale nenye intsapho. Ndothuka ndaza ndadimazeka kuba abazali bam babethe abantu abamhlophe abanakuthenjwa. Ndandingafuni ukuhamba. Ekugqibeleni, ndavuma kuba abazali bam bathi nomkhuluwa uza kuhamba.

Kodwa ke, sakufika eVancouver, eBritish Columbia, mna nomkhuluwa sahlukaniswa, ndaza ndaya kwindawo ekumgama oziikhilomitha ezili-100! Ndacaphuka gqitha. Nangona intsapho endandihlala kuyo yayinobubele, ndandidandathekile yaye ndisoyika. Ndabuyela ekhaya kwiinyanga ezilishumi kamva.

Ndabuyela Kubazali Bam

Nangona iimeko ekhaya zazingatshintshanga kangako, ndakuvuyela ukuba sekhaya. Xa ndandineminyaka emalunga neli-12 ubudala, abazali bam bayeka ukunxila. Izinto zaba bhetele, kodwa ngelo xesha ndandisele ndisebenzisa iziyobisi ndisela notywala. Abazali bam bandikhuthaza ukuba ndizigcine ndixakeke zezinye izinto, njengokungenelela umdlalo werodeo, endandiwuthanda gqitha. Umdlalo werodeo wawufuna umntu onesibindi. Ndandikwazi ukukhwela kangangemizuzwana esibhozo inkunzi yenkomo epetsulayo ndingawi, ngoxa ndibambelele nje ngesandla esinye kwintambo ebotshelelwe kwisisu senkunzi yenkomo.

Xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo, abantu abadala bandifundisa unqulo lwamaIndiya. Ndaba nomdla gqitha, kuba ndandingazithandi iicawa zabantu abamhlophe. Ndandicinga ukuba amasiko amaBlackfoot akhuthaza ububele nokusesikweni, nto leyo yayingafundiswa kwiicawa ezininzi “zamaKristu.” Ndandikuthanda ukuhlala namanye amaIndiya, ndiluthanda umanyano olwalukho phakathi kwentsapho nabahlobo.

Kwangaxeshanye, ndafunda ngokuphathwa kakubi kwamaIndiya kangangeenkulungwane. Ndafundiswa ukuba abantu abamhlophe basiphathela izifo baza baphelisa neenyathi, esasixhomekeke kuzo ukuze siphile. Enyanisweni, kuthiwa uConel R. I. Dodge, weU.S. Army wathi: “Bulalani kwanto iyinyathi. Xa kusifa inyathi enye, nomIndiya uyafa.” Ndafunda ukuba esi simo sengqondo salonakalisa uhlanga lwamaBlackfoot, nto leyo yalwenza lwaziva lungento yanto.

Ngaphezu koko, ezinye iinkokeli zikarhulumente, kunye neecawa ezinxulumene nazo, zazizimisele ukuwaguqula amaIndiya ezaziwagqala njengamaqaba. Zazikholelwa ukuba bonke ubomi bamaIndiya bufanele butshintshe—kuquka amasiko, iinkolelo, indlela aphila ngayo nolwimi lwawo—aphile ngendlela yabamhlophe. EKhanada, abanye abantwana bamaIndiya babexhatshazwa kwizikolo zeecawa ababehlala kuzo. Abanye bazinikela kwiziyobisi nasetywaleni, babandakanyeka kugonyamelo yaye abanye babezibulala—nto ezo ziseyingxaki nanamhlanje.

Ukuze aphephe ezi ngxaki, amanye amaIndiya agqiba ekubeni awayeke amasiko amaBlackfoot. Akhetha ukuthetha isiNgesi nabantwana bawo kunokuba athethe ulwimi lwamaBlackfoot, yaye azama ukuphila njengabantu abamhlophe. Noko ke, kunokuba amkelwe, ayegculelwa, kungekuphela nje ngabantu abamhlophe kodwa nangamanye amaIndiya, ayewabiza ngokuthi “ngamaIndiya angama-apile”—abomvu ngaphandle kodwa amhlophe ngaphakathi.

Kwakundikhathaza ukubona amaIndiya ebandezeleka kangaka. Ndandifuna ukubona abantu bakowethu bephila bhetele apha kwireserve, eKhanada naseUnited States.

Ndandifuna Iimpendulo

Xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo, ndandicinga ukuba akukho mntu undithandayo. Ndandizeya yaye oko kwakundenza ndibe nengqumbo. Ndandibacaphukela abantu abamhlophe. Kodwa ke, abazali bam nodadobawo bandinqanda ukuba ndingabi nentiyo yaye ndingaziphindezeli; kunoko bandikhuthaza ukuba ndixolele, ndibe nothando yaye ndingabakhathaleli abo benza ngokungekho sikweni. Kamva ndafunda ukuba eli cebiso liyavisisana nemigaqo yeBhayibhile. Ngaphezu koko, ndandikufuna ngamandla ukufumana iimpendulo zemibuzo endandinayo ndisengumntwana. Ndandifuna ukuqonda isizathu sokuba siphila, nokubakho kokungekho sikweni. Kwakungekho ngqiqweni ukuba umntu aphile okwexeshana aze afe. Ndandididekile.

Nanini na kufika amaNgqina kaYehova ekhaya, kwakusithiwa mandiyovula. Ndandiwahlonela kuba ayebonakala engenalucalu-calulo. Nangona ndandingazi ukuba imibuzo yam ndiza kuyibeka njani, kwakumnandi ukuncokola nawo. Ndikhumbula sityelelwe nguJohn Brewster noHarry Callihoo, iNgqina elingumBlackfoot. Sancokola ixesha elide, sihamba ethafeni. Ndafumana incwadi ndaza ndayifunda phantse yonke ngaphambi kokuba ilahleke.

Ndaba Ngumdlali Werodeo

Ndacela icebiso kubantu abadala abahlala kwireserve. Nangona ndandilixabisa icebiso labo, andizange ndifumane iimpendulo ezindanelisayo kwimibuzo yam ngobomi. Xa ndandineminyaka emalunga neli-16 ubudala, ndalishiya ikhaya ndaza ndangenelela ukhuphiswano lwerodeo. Kumatheko endandisiya kuwo emva kwezo rodeo, abantu babesebenzisa kakubi utywala neziyobisi. Isazela sam sasindikhathaza kuba ndandisazi ukuba ihambo enjalo ayifanelekanga yaye ndandivakalelwa kukuba uThixo akayithandi. Ndandidla ngokuthandaza kuMdali ndifuna uncedo ukuze ndenze okufanelekileyo ndize ndifumane neempendulo kwimibuzo eyayindikhathaza.

Ngowe-1978, ngoxa ndandiseCalgary, ndadibana noRose, ibhinqa eliselula elingumIndiya. Wayezalwa ngumBlackfoot nomCree. Sasithanda izinto ezifanayo, yaye ndandincokola ngokukhululekileyo naye. Sathandana saza satshata ngowe-1979. Sazala umntwana oyintombazana ogama linguCarma nonyana, uJared. URose uye wazingqina enyanisekile, endixhasa yaye ungumama onenyameko. Ngenye imini, xa mna nentsapho yam sasityelele umkhuluwa, ndafumana incwadi enomxholo othi Unokuphila Ngonaphakade KwiParadesi Esemhlabeni.a Yandichukumisa into endayifunda apho yaye yayisengqiqweni. Kodwa ndathi xa ndiqalisa ukuyiqonda iBhayibhile, ndafumanisa ukuba amanye amaphepha ayo akrazukile. Mna noRose sazimisela ukuba sifumane la maphepha angekhoyo, kodwa asizange siwafumane. Sekunjalo, ndathandaza ndifuna uncedo.

Ukutyelela Umfundisi

Ngentlakohlaza yowe-1984, uRose wazala umntwana wethu wesithathu, intombi entle, uKayla. Kodwa ke, uKayla wabulawa sisifo sentliziyo eneenyanga ezimbini. Sasibuhlungu gqitha, yaye ndandingakwazi ukumthuthuzela uRose. Wathi masiye kumfundisi wamaKatolika owayehlala kwireserve yethu ukuze asithuthuzele aze asiphendulele imibuzo yethu.

Sambuza isizathu sokuba intombi yethu encinane ife nalapho ikhoyo. Wasixelela ukuba uThixo umthathile uKayla kuba efuna enye ingelosi. Ndazibuza, ‘Kutheni uThixo ethatha intombi yethu xa efuna ingelosi ekubeni enguMdali onguSomandla? Luza kumnceda ngantoni usana olungakwazi ukwenza nto?’ Lo mfundisi akazange ayityhile kwaukuyityhila iBhayibhile. Semka apho singanelisekanga.

Sancedwa Ngumthandazo

Ngenye intsasa yangoMvulo ekupheleni kukaNovemba 1984, ndathandaza ixesha elide, ndicela uThixo ukuba andincede ndibe ngumntu olungileyo, ndazi nesizathu sokuba izinto zenzeke ngendlela ezazisenzeka ngayo, ndize ndazi nenjongo yobomi. Ngaloo ntsasa kanye, kwankqonkqoza uDiana Bellemy noKaren Scott, amaNgqina kaYehova amabini. Babenyanisekile, benobubele yaye babekuvuyela ukunikela isigidimi. Ndaphulaphula, ndasamkela isifundo seBhayibhile nencwadi ethi Ukusindela Kumhlaba Omtsha,b ndaza ndavuma ukuba uDiana abuye nomyeni wakhe, uDarryl, ekupheleni kwaloo veki.

Ndacinga sele behambile ukuba bekuphendulwa umthandazo wam. Ndavuya gqitha kangangokuba ndandisihla ndinyuka endlwini, ndilinde uRose ukuba abuye emsebenzini ukuze ndimbalisele. Yandothusa into yokuba kanti noRose ebethandaza ebusuku, ecela uThixo ukuba amncede afumane unqulo olufanelekileyo. NgoLwesihlanu, saba nesifundo sethu sokuqala seBhayibhile. Kamva safumanisa ukuba ngosuku uKaren noDiana babesityelele ngalo, babelahlekile. Kodwa bakubona indlu yethu, bacinga ukunkqonkqoza.

Ndada Ndazifumana Iimpendulo!

Izalamane nabahlobo zazididekile yaye zingayithandi into yokufunda kwethu iBhayibhile. Zazisithi sichitha nje ixesha kuba sasingazisebenzisi kakuhle izakhono namandla ethu. Kodwa ke, sazimisela ukuba singamlahli uMhlobo wethu omtsha, uMdali wethu, uYehova. Ngapha koko, sasifumene into exabiseke ngokwenene—inyaniso neemfihlelo ezingcwele ezifumaneka kwiLizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile. (Mateyu 13:52) Mna noRose sabhaptizwa njengamaNgqina kaYehova ngoDisemba 1985. Ngoku izalamane zethu ziyawahlonela amaNgqina kaYehova, ekubeni siye saphila ubomi obubhetele emva kokubhaptizwa kwethu.

Ndiye ndayifumana into endandiyifuna! IBhayibhile iphendula imibuzo ebalulekileyo ngokulula nangendlela esengqiqweni. Ndaneliseka ndakufunda ngenjongo yobomi, isizathu sokuba sife, nesithembiso sikaThixo sokuba siza kuphinda siyibone intombi yethu uKayla ikhulela phantsi kweemeko ezigqibeleleyo. (Yohane 5:28, 29; ISityhilelo 21:4) Kwakhona, ndafunda ukuba asifanele siyisebenzise kakubi imizimba yethu, singabi nantlonelo ngobomi yaye sikhuphisane. (Galati 5:26) Nangona esi sigqibo sasinzima, ndawuyeka umdlalo werodeo ukuze ndikholise uThixo.

Ulwazi oluchanileyo lweBhayibhile luye lwasikhulula kwiinkolelo ezininzi zamaIndiya, njengokukholelwa ukuba xa ubona isikhova okanye inja isenza umkhulungwane, kuza kufa umntu kuloo ntsapho. Asisakoyiki ukwenzakaliswa yimimoya engabonakaliyo ekwizinto eziphilayo okanye ezingaphiliyo. (INdumiso 56:4; Yohane 8:32) Ngoku siyayixabisa indalo kaYehova. Ndinabahlobo abaninzi beentlanga ezahlukahlukeneyo endibabiza ngokuba ngabazalwana noodade, basibona sifana nabo, yaye basigqala njengabanye abakhonzi bakaThixo. (IZenzo 10:34, 35) Abaninzi kubo bafuna ukwazi ngamasiko neenkolelo zamaIndiya kwakunye nolwimi lwamaBlackfoot ukuze bakwazi ukushumayela isigidimi seBhayibhile ngendlela ebangel’ umdla.

Intsapho yam ihlala kwifama encinane kwiBlood Reserve, kumzantsi weAlberta. Sisawathanda amasiko amaIndiya—kuquka ukutya kwesintu, umculo nomngqungqo. Asibandakanyeki kwimingqungqo yasekuhlaleni, maxa wambi ekuthiwa ziipowwow, kodwa siyayibukela imingqungqo efanelekileyo. Ndiye ndazama ukufundisa abantwana bethu imvelaphi yethu nolwimi lwamaBlackfoot. AmaIndiya amaninzi anobubele, athobekile yaye ayazixhalabela iintsapho nabahlobo. Aziwa nangokubuka iindwendwe nokuhlonela abanye abantu, kuquka nabo banemvelaphi eyahlukileyo kweyawo. Ndiyakuxabisa gqitha oku.

Sivuya gqitha ukuchitha ixesha namandla ethu sinceda abanye bafunde ngoYehova baze bamthande. Unyana wethu, uJared, ulitsha-ntliziyo kwiofisi yesebe yamaNgqina kaYehova kufuphi naseToronto. Ndikhonza njengomdala kwiBandla laseMacleod, yaye mna noRose noCarma singoovulindlela abathe ngxi, okanye abashumayeli bexesha elizeleyo. Siyakuthanda ukushumayela kumaIndiya ngolwimi lwamaBlackfoot. Kusivuyisa gqitha ukubona abanye besamkela inyaniso yoMdali nokufunda ngeenjongo zakhe.

IBhayibhile ithi ngoYehova: “Ukuba uthe wamfuna, uya kumfumana.” (1 Kronike 28:9) Ndivuya gqitha kuba uye wasifezekisa esi sithembiso sakhe ngokunceda mna nentsapho yam ukuba sifumane into esasiyifuna.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 13]

‘Ukuba ukho uMdali, uphi? Kutheni abantu besifa?’

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 16]

‘AmaIndiya amaninzi anobubele yaye athobekile’

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]

Umakhulu wandifundisa amasiko amaBlackfoot

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Ndandiwuthanda gqitha umdlalo we-“rodeo”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Iphecana elikhethekileyo elithi “Unokuthembela KuMdali” lifumaneka ngolwimi lwamaBlackftoot nangezinye iilwimi

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Ndiyakuthanda ukufundisa abanye ngeBhayibhile

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Namhlanje, ndikunye nentsapho yam