Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Nginalemizwa?

“Ngizwa sengathi kunempi eqhubekayo ngaphakathi kimi. Angazi ukuthi ngiphendukelephi.”—UBob.

INTSHA eningi ihlushwa ukukhathazeka okufanayo ngokwengqondo. Ngokungafani nontanga bayo ababonakala benesithakazelo esijulile kwabobulili obuhlukile, izithola ikhangwa ngokuqhubekayo amalungu obulili obufana nobayo. Kweningi, leli iqiniso elikhungathekisayo.

Omunye wesifazane wathi ngendodakazi yakhe: “Impilo yakhe yaqala ukuba buthaka, wayengadli futhi engalali, futhi wacindezeleka waba nemizwa eshintshashintshayo. Wazama ngisho nokuzibulala.” Yayiyini imbangela eyinhloko yalokhu kucindezeleka? “Wayenemizwa yobungqingili.” Kungase kungabi lula kwabanye ukunqoba ukuthambekela okunjalo. “Lapho ngiqala ukuthomba,” kuvuma insizwa ethile esizoyibiza ngokuthi uMark, “ngaqala ukuhlanganyela ezenzweni zobungqingili nabangane bami abathile. Ngaqhubeka ngalendlela ngaze ngathomba kwaze kwaba yilapho ngiqala ukutadisha iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ngangisenayo imizwa engalungile ebeleselayo.”

Yini eyenza osemusha akhangwe abobulili obufana nobakhe? Futhi yini osemusha okufanele ayenze uma ehlushwa imizwa enjalo?

Bungokwemvelo Noma Buyahlakulelwa?

Namuhla kuvamile ukuthi ongqingili bazalwa benjalo nokuthi ukuthambekela kobulili akunakushintshwa. Ngokwesibonelo, umagazini i-Time wamemezela ngokucacile: “Ukuhlola okusha kubonisa ukuthi kunomehluko ekwakhekeni kobuchopho bamadoda angongqingili namadoda angebona.” Nokho, lokhu kuhlola kwenziwa emadodeni ayebulawe ingculaza. Ngokuqinisekile lokhu akulifakazeli iphuzu!

Enye inkolelo-mbono ihilela amahormone. Ososayensi baphawula ukuthi amaginipiki angamaduna akhishwe ama-hormone ayenemikhuba “yezinsikazi” yokukhwelana. Baphetha ngokuthi nongqingili kungenzeka bayizisulu zephutha lokwakheka komzimba—ukuba nama-hormone esilisa amaningi ngokweqile noma ambalwa ngokweqile ngaphambi kokuzalwa. Nokho, ososayensi abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha okuyinqaba kwamagundane kumane nje kuyindlela yokusabela engokwemvelo—akubona ‘ubungqingili.’ Ngaphandle kwalokho, abantu abawona amagundane. I-Harvard Medical School Mental Health Letter iyaphawula: “Cishe akunakwenzeka ukuthi ama-hormone angaphambi kokuzalwa athonya . . . ubulili babantu ngendlela eqondile efana naleyo ahlela ngayo ukusabela okuhilelekile emikhutsheni yokukhwelana kwamagundane.”

Kuye kwagxilwa kakhulu nasekuhloleni izakhi zofuzo. Phakathi kwamadoda nabesifazane abangongqingili abanamawele afanayo, cishe ingxenye yamawele abo nayo ingongqingili. Njengoba amawele [afanayo] anezakhi zofuzo ezifanayo, kwabonakala kunengqondo ukuphetha ngokuthi isakhi sofuzo esithile esiyimfihlakalo sabangela lomehluko. Nokho, qaphela ukuthi ingxenye yalamawele yayingebona ongqingili. Ukube lesisici sasibangelwa izakhi zofuzo ngempela, ingabe wonke lamawele abengeke abe naso? Yiqiniso, izakhi zofuzo nama-hormone kungase kube nendima ethile. Noma kunjalo, i-Scientific American yabika okwatholwa abanye ukuthi ubufakazi “busikisela ngokunamandla ukuthi isimo sendawo sinendima ephawulekayo ekuthambekeleni kobulili.”

Izici Zesimo Sendawo

Cabangela isimo sendawo saseGrisi yasendulo. Njengoba babeshoshozelwa izindaba ezivusa inkanuko yobulili zabanye bonkulunkulu babo basenganekwaneni, imibhalo yezazi zefilosofi ezinjengoPlato, nesiko lendawo yokuzivivinya umzimba lapho intsha yayizivivinya khona inqunu, ubungqingili baba imfashini eyandile phakathi kwabavelele emphakathini okhuluma isiGreki. Ngokwencwadi ethi Love in Ancient Greece, “kwakubhekwa njengehlazo eKrethe ukuba umfana wesigaba esivelele emphakathini angabi nesithandwa [sowesilisa].” Akukho sakhi sofuzo noma i-hormone eyimfihlakalo eyabangela lokho konakala. Kwachuma ngoba isiko lamaGreki lalikuvumela, yebo, likukhuthaza! Lokhu kubonisa ukuthi isimo sendawo singafeza indima enamandla kangakanani.

Ngokungangabazeki ukugcwala kwenkulumo-ze yabasekela ubungqingili kuye kwenza okukhulu ekusakazeni lowombono namuhla. Ukusikiselwa kobungqingili kugcwele ku-TV, amabhayisikobho, umculo, nomagazini. Ithelevishini yeziteshi ezikhokhelwayo iye yakwenza kwaba lula ngenye intsha ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Izitayela zokugqoka nokuzilungisa ezisetshenziswa abesilisa nabesifazane zisemfashinini. Abanye ochwepheshe banomuzwa futhi wokuthi inkulumo-ze emelene nabesilisa ekhuthazwa abathile abalwela amalungelo abesifazane iye yanezela ekwandeni kobungqingili babesifazane. Intsha ingase futhi ichayeke emathonyeni amabi ngokujwayelana nefunda nabo abayisekela ngokuqondile indlela yokuphila yongqingili.—1 Korinte 15:33.

Indodana Noyise

Ngezinye izikhathi, isimo sasekhaya esingesihle naso sibonakala sinendima enkulu, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwabesilisa.a Ubaba unengxenye ebalulekile ekukhuleni komntwana ngokomzwelo. (Efesu 6:4) Incwadi ethi Ukwenza Ukuphila Komkhaya Wakho Kujabulise ithi: “Ithonya lezimfanelo zikababa zobudoda lingaba nengxenye enkulu eliyinikelayo ekuthuthukeni kobuntu obulinganiselwe.”b Umfana udinga nokuqashelwa, uthando, nokwamukelwa uyise. (Qhathanisa noLuka 3:22.) Ungaba yini umphumela lapho ubaba ehluleka ukunikeza umntwana wakhe lokhu kunakekela akudingayo? Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo. Umlobi wezempilo yengqondo uJoseph Nicolosi uthi ubungqingili babesilisa “cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi buwumphumela wezinkinga ebuhlotsheni bomkhaya, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwendodana noyise.”

Kungenzeka ukuthi umama engahlosile ubhebhethekisa isimo ngokujivaza umyeni wakhe noma ngokugodla indodana yakhe ngokweqile. Okunye ukuhlolwa kwabafana abaziphatha njengamantombazane kwaphawula: “Abanye abazali babefisa ukuthola intombazane hhayi umfana futhi ngobuqili babekhuthaze indodana yabo encane ukuba igqoke njengentombazane noma babeyigqokisa ngaleyondlela.”

Lokhu akusho ukuthi kungamane kusolwe abazali bomuntu ngenxa yemizwa yobulili ephendukezelwe. Amadoda amaningi akhuliswe onina abagodlayo noyise abanganakekeli, abangatholakali, noma abaxhaphazayo akwazile ukuhlakulela ubuntu bobudoda. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akubona bonke abanokuthambekela kobungqingili abavela emikhayeni engahlelekile. Nokho, kubonakala sengathi abanye abafana balimala ngendlela eqonde kakhulu. “Ngenxa yomuzwa wokwaliwa uyise esemncane . . . ,” kusho uDkt. Nicolosi, “ungqingili uba nomuzwa wobuthakathaka nokwehluleka ukuhlakulela lezozimfanelo ezihlotshaniswa nobudoda, okungukuthi, amandla, nokuqiniseka. Ukhangwa amandla obudoda engaqapheli ukuthi ushukunyiswa ukunxanela kwakhe ukuba nobudoda.”

Insizwa engumKristu okuthiwa uPeter iyabhala: “Ubaba wayewumlutha wotshwala eshaya umama njalo futhi, ngezinye izikhathi, eshaya nathi bantwana. Lapho ngineminyaka engu-12 ubudala, wasishiya. Ngakuzwa kuntuleka kakhulu ukuba khona kukababa. Ngangihlale ngilangazela othile owayengagcwalisa lelogebe elalikhona nsuku zonke. Lapho ekugcineni ngihlakulela ubuhlobo nendoda ethile enhle engumKristu engangicabanga ukuthi yayingasigcwalisa lesosidingo, ngaqala ukuba nemizwa yobulili ngayo.”

Ngokuthakazelisayo, inani eliphawulekayo longqingili liyizisulu zokuxhashazwa ebuntwaneni.c Ukuxhashazwa okunjalo kungadala umonakalo ohlala njalo ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Kwabanye kungadala lokho omunye umlobi akubiza ngokuthi “isifiso sobulili esiphendukezelwe.” Ngokusobala lokhu kwakwenzeka eSodoma lasendulo, lapho abafana abancane babebonisa khona ukunxanela ngobugovu ubuhlobo bobulili obuphendukezelwe. (Genesise 19:4, 5) Ngokusobala, kwakuwumphumela wokuxhashazwa kwabo abantu abadala.

Impikiswano Yokuziphatha

Ososayensi bangase bangakuhlukanisi ngokunembile ukuthi imvelo nokuhlakulelwa kwalesisifiso kunendima engakanani ekukhangweni abobulili obufanayo. Kodwa yinye into esobala: Bonke abantu bazalwa benokuthambekela kokuvumela ukucabanga nezizindlo ezingalungile.—Roma 3:23.

Ngakho-ke, osemusha ofisa ukuthokozisa uNkulunkulu kumelwe avumelane nezindinganiso zaKhe zokuziphatha futhi agweme ukuziphatha okubi, nakuba ukwenza kanjalo kungase kube nzima kakhulu. Yiqiniso, abanye abantu kungenzeka bathambekele ebungqingilini, njengoba nabanye abantu, ngokusho kweBhayibheli, ‘bethambekele olakeni.’ (Thithu 1:7, qhathanisa ne-NW.) Kodwa iBhayibheli lisakulahla ukubonakaliswa kwentukuthelo engalungile. (Efesu 4:31) Ngokufanayo, umKristu akanakuthethelela ukuziphatha okubi ngokuthi ‘wazalwa enjalo.’ Abaxhaphaza abantwana baveza izaba ezifanayo ezidabukisayo lapho bethi ukunxanela kwabo abantwana “kungokwemvelo.” Kodwa ukhona yini ongaphika ukuthi isifiso sabo sobulili siphendukezelwe? Kunjalo nangokukhanuka othile wobulili obufanayo.

Ngakho-ke, intsha ezithola ikhangwa abobulili obufana nobayo kumelwe igweme ukuvumela imizwa yayo. Nokho, kungani iBhayibheli libulahla ngokuqonde kangaka ubungqingili? Ingabe leyondlela yokuphila iyenyanyeka futhi iphendukezelwe ngempela? Uma kunjalo, yini osemusha angayenza ukuze ayigweme? Lemibuzo izodingidwa kumagazini i-Phaphama! wesikhathi esizayo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]