Obani Ababa Nokuphazamiseka Kwemikhuba Yokudla
Nakuba isithakazelo esisesilinganisweni ekubukekeni komuntu sifanelekile, ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kungaba khona uma indlela umuntu abukeka ngayo imkhathaza. Ingxoxo elandelayo ibonisa lendaba.
IPHAPHAMA!: Ingabe wawukhuluphele ngokweqile, Ann, lapho izinkinga zakho ziqala?
UANN: Cha, kodwa ngangiqalisa ukuphola, futhi ngangifuna ukubukeka kahle.
IPHAPHAMA!: Ingabe ukuzethemba kwakho kwakwencike endleleni owawubukeka ngayo?
UANN: Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi kwakunjalo. Lapho abantu bengibuka, njalo ngangizibuza, ‘Bacabangani?’ Ingqondo yami yayilokhu ithi, ‘Kudingeka ube nomzimba owakheke kahle ukuze ukhange.’
IPHAPHAMA!: Ngakho lapho uba nomuzwa wokuthi ubukeka kahle, ingabe wazizwa kangcono ngawe ngokwakho?
UANN: Ngokuqinisekile! Uma ngikhuluphala, ngangizizonda. Lapho ngizibuka esibukweni, ngangingacabangi ngezimfanelo zangaphakathi.
Akekho owaziyo ukuthi kungani abanye abantu beba nokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kuyilapho abanye abasesimweni esifanayo bengabi nayo. Isiko, izakhi zofuzo, impilo noma ukungasebenzi kahle kwenqubo yamakhemikhali, kanye nesimo sasemkhayeni ngokusobala konke kunengxenye okuyifezayo. Nokho, kunezici ezithile zobuntu ezibonakala ziphawuleka kwabaningi abanakho.
Ukulwela Ukuphelela
Njengeqembu, abaningi balabo abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla bathambekele ekubeni abantu abafuna ukufinyelela okukhulu nabafuna ukuphelela abaphuma phambili esikoleni noma emsebenzini. Ngemva kokwelapha iziguli ezingaphezu kuka-130 ezineanorexia, uDkt. Hilde Bruch, encwadini yakhe iGolden Cage, uchaza imizwa abanjalo abavame ukuba nayo: “Unokwesaba okukhulu okukodwa, okungukuthi okokuba umuntu ovamile, noma osesilinganisweni,—ongemuhle ngokwanele. . . . Ucabanga ukuthi ufanelekile kuphela uma wenza okuthile okukhetheke kakhulu, okuthile okukhulu nokubabazeka kangangokuba abazali bakho nabanye abantu obakhathalelayo bahlabeke umxhwele futhi bakwazise ngokuba okhetheke kakhulu.”
ULee, owaba neanorexia, wavuma: “Ngangizama ukwenza into enhle kakhulu, ngizama ukuba ungqá phambili kuyo yonke into engangiyenza.” Ngokuvamile lokhu kulwela ukuphelela kubonakala ngesifiso esijulile sokujabulisa abanye, sokuba ‘intombazanyana engungqá phambili emhlabeni wonke.’
Indlela owesifazane abheka ngayo indima yakhe emphakathini ingase imenze abe yisisulu esingavikelekile ngokukhethekile. Nakuba amadoda eba nakho ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, labo abathinteke ngokuyinhloko abesifazane. Incwadi iSurviving an Eating Disorder iyachaza: “Amantombazane aba nemikhuba yokudla ephazamisekile ngokuvamile aye akhula ekholelwa ukuthi kufanele angafuni lutho kwabanye. Intombazane elungile intombazane engakhulumi kakhulu, intombazane engabonakali efunda ukungakubonisi lokho okuyikhathazayo.” Nokho, ukukhuliswa okunjalo kubangela abanye ukuba babe nomuzwa wokuthi abakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwabo.
Kwabanye abesifazane, ukuzama njalo ukujabulisa abanye kuyilapho ngesikhathi esifanayo becindezela isifiso sabo sokuphatha ukuphila kwabo kwakha ukungahleleki kwangaphakathi okungaholela ekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla. UDawn, manje oselulamile ekuminzeni okubangelwa ukucindezeleka nebulimia, uyachaza: “Umkhaya wakithi wawulindele ukuba ngenze yonke into ngendlela yawo, ngibe yilokho ababefuna ngibe yikho. Nakuba ngaphandle ngangibukeka ngilondeke kakhulu futhi ngihlakaniphe kakhulu, ngaphakathi ngangingenjalo neze. Angizange ngibe nomuzwa wokuthi ngangingakufinyelela lokho ababekulindele. Ngangingakwazi ukujabulisa muntu—abangane bami noma abazali bami. Khona-ke ngaqaphela ukuthi ngangingasilawula isisindo somzimba! Ngangisikhuphula, ngisehlise, ngangingenza noma yini engifuna ukuyenza ngaso. Lokho kwanginikeza umuzwa wokulawula ukuphila kwami. Uma ngangikwazi ukulawula lokhu, ngangingalawula yonke into.”
Imizwa Yokungafaneleki
Ukuzizwa kukaDawn engalondekile kuwuphawu lokuzingabaza abaningi abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla abanalo. Naphezu kokuba benamakhono, abaningi bantula umuzwa wokubaluleka oyisisekelo. Ngezinye izikhathi ukudla ngokweqile kungaba uphawu lokungazethembi. Empeleni lowomuntu usuke ethi: ‘Angiyinto yalutho. Kungani kufanele ngizinakekele noma nginakekele isisindo sami?’ Imizwa enjalo ibangela ukucindezeleka, okukhathaza cishe bonke abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla.
Yini ebangela lomoya wokuzizwa ungelutho? IBhayibheli liyaphendula: “Ngosizi lwenhliziyo uyachotshozwa umoya.” (IzAga 15:13) Kunezinto ezihlukahlukene ezingabangela ubuhlungu bangaphakathi—ukudumala okubuhlungu, ukunganakwa, indawo ezungezile lapho izidingo zomuntu ezingokomzwelo zinganakwa khona, noma okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kwasebuntwaneni, uma nje sibala ezimbalwa. Ukucwaninga kwembula ukuthi inani elimangalisayo leziguli ezinokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla liye laphathwa kabi ngokobulili, laze ngisho ladlwengulwa.
Kodwa ukungazethembi nakho kungakhula ngenxa yesimo sengqondo sabanye. Omunye owesifazane osemusha wachaza, “esikhathini esidala kakhulu engisikhumbulayo ngangikhuluphele kakhulu futhi umama wayekhuluma ngakho njalo. Kwenziwa yonke into ukuze ngenziwe ngibe nomzimba omncane; yilokho kuphela okwakukhathalelwa. Yingakho ngizizonda nomzimba wami.” Isimo somphakathi wanamuhla, esidumisa kakhulu ukuba nomzimba omncane, sinengxenye ekuzizondeni kwabanye abakhuluphele.
Kwezinye izimo ukuphazamiseka komkhuba wokudla ngokwakho kususa ukuzethemba komuntu. ULynn, owayephalaza izikhathi eziyishumi ngosuku, uyavuma: “Ngangibuka ubuso bami esibukweni ngemva kokuba ngiphalazile futhi ngithi, ‘Ngiyakuzonda,’ bese ngikhala. Ngazizwa ngingelutho.”
Ekujuleni, abantu abaningi abanokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla bayaqiniseka ngokuthi ubuntu babo obuyisisekelo bunesici. Ngakho, yonke imizamo yabo yenzelwa ukufihla iphutha elibi lokungafaneleki kwabo okuyisisekelo nasekutholeni izindlela zokwakha ukuzethemba kwabo. Labo ababa neanorexia bazama ukwenza lokhu ngendlela eyingqayizivele. Umzamo wabo wokuthola umuzwa wokubaluleka yiwona owenza ianorexia ibangene kangaka—futhi ibulale.
Lapho uLee elahlwa indoda ayeyithanda, ukuzethemba kwakhe kwehla kakhulu. Uthi: “Ngangifuna ukubonisa ukuthi wayeshiyé usuka sihambe. Ngakho ngazimisela ukuba nomzimba omncane kakhulu nokuba muhle ngendlela eyisimanga.” Ukuze alolonge umzimba wakhe, wayeka ukudla futhi waba matasa kakhulu. “Ngaqala ukwaneliseka ngami. Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi ngangikhethekile ngempela ngenxa yokuthi ngangingenza okuthile abanye abangeke bakwazi ukukwenza. Ngacabanga, ‘Ngingumuntu onamandla.’”
Isisindo sikaLee sehla sisuka kumakhilogremu angu-73 saya kumakhilogremu angu-47 akhathazayo. Ecabanga ngalabo ababezama ukumphoqelela ukuba adle, uthi: “Ngacabanga ukuthi bonke labobantu babezama ukonakalisa ukuphila kwami kanye nenjabulo yami ngokuthatha konke ukuzethemba kwami. Ngacabanga ukuthi ngangiyogcina nginjengawo wonke umuntu.” Lesosimo sengqondo sikaLee siwuphawu lwabantu abaneanorexia, abazama ukuzuza umuzwa wokubaluleka ngokulawula izifiso zabo nokwenza lokho abanye abangeke bakwenze.
Uma imizwelo yentombazane iye yaxhashazwa, imizamo yayo yokuvikela ukuzethemba kwayo okubuthakathaka ukuba kungonakaliswa ngokuqhubekayo nakho kungaholela kuyianorexia. Ngokwesibonelo, uShirley waphathwa kabi indlela abafana ababemphatha ngayo ngenxa yesimo esasisanda kwenzeka somzimba wakhe. Khona-ke uyise omzalayo wafuna ukuziphatha kabi naye. UShirley uthi: “Ngaba namahloni futhi ngacasuka kangangokuba ngaya kumama ngavele ngakhala. Ngemva kokuba senginciphile futhi senginciphise nezigaxa zenyama ezimbeni wami, akekho owayengikhathaza. Abobulili obehlukile babengasanginakile.”
Kwezinye izimo ianorexia iwukubalekela imisebenzi yokuba umuntu omdala, kuphawula uShirley. “Ngangingafuni ukukhula futhi ngibhekane nemithwalo yemfanelo yomkhaya. Ngangingalokotha kanjani ngizivumele ukuba ngikhuluphale? Cha, ngangingeke ngilokothe! Ngangingeke ngenzele noma ubani!” Ngokudabukisayo, ukukhathazeka kwakhe ngokwenza isikhathi singahambi kwaholela ekufeni okubuhlungu ngenxa yendlala ayezibangelé yona.
Akubona bonke abantu abaneanorexia abafanelana nalezincazelo. Nokho, kubonakala sengathi bonke bazuza umuzwa wamandla ngokuzenza othile abangamthanda. Ngaleyondlela bathola ukuzethemba okuncane. Ukuba nomzimba omncane kuba iqholo labo nenjabulo.
Ukusingatha Imizwelo Ebuhlungu
Njengoba ukudla kujabulisa futhi kuzolisa, kungasetshenziswa kabi ukuze kubhekwane nemizwa yokuba nesizungu, ukukhathazeka, umzwangedwa, intukuthelo, ukucindezeleka, ukunganakwa, noma ukushiywa dengwane. “Lapho ngisesesikoleni, ngangiyisisulu sokuhlangenwe nakho okunonya okwakubuhlungu kangangokuba ngangingakwazi ukukhuluma ngakho,” kuchaza uDawn. “Noma nini lapho ngicabanga ngalesosenzakalo, noma lapho kunesimo engangingenakubhekana naso, ngangivele ngifobele ukudla. Ngangizama nje ukugqiba lemizwa ngokudla.” Ukudla kwakwenza ubuhlungu bemizwelo yakhe bube ndikindiki. Kodwa ukuminza kwakhe ngenxa yokucindezeleka kwaholela ekukhuluphaleni ngamakhilogremu angu-45.
Ngezinye izikhathi ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kuba indlela yokubalekela ukucindezela kokuphila. Ngokwesibonelo, uAnne wakhuliswa ekhaya elalinobaba owayewumlutha wotshwala futhi njalo wayegconwa ngokukhuluphala kwakhe. Wasichaza isizathu esenza waba nebulimia: “Kwakuyindlela yami yokubhekana nokucindezeleka kwansuku zonke, futhi yasebenza ngenxa yokuthi lapho ukhathazeke ngokuthile, akudingeki ukuba ucabange ngezinkinga zakho zangempela. Usola yonke into ukuthi ibangelwa ukukhuluphala kwakho futhi uzitshela ukuthi lapho uncipha, ukuphila kuzojabulisa.”
Nakuba sonke singadla kakhudlwana uma sikhathazekile noma sinesizungu, umuntu osengozini yokuba nokuphazamiseka komkhuba wokudla akasebenzisi izindlela ezivamile zokubhekana nenkinga engaphakathi. Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu angase abe nenzondo esekujuleni ngomuntu othile noma isimo kodwa uyomane adle ukuze elaphe inzondo yakhe kunokuba asho okumcasulile.
Indima Efezwa Ukudla Kancane
Ukulandela indlela elukhuni yokudla, ngokokucwaninga, kuyisizathu esivame kakhulu esishiwo abantu sokuminza uma bebuzwa. Ukuhlola ngezimbangela zesisindo eseqile okwenziwa ngo-1989 kwembula ukuthi: “Umkhuba wokudla kancane obangelwa ukukhathazeka ngokukhuluphala ubonakala usetshenziswa ngokusontekile ekukhuluphaleni okuqhubekayo.” Kodwa kungani?
Lapho abantu bezama ukulandela indlela eqinile yokudla, ngokuvamile bayeka oswidi kanye nokunye ukudla okumnandi. Lokhu kudla “okwenqatshelwe” kuba isilingo esiqhubekayo. Khona-ke, lapho becasukile, bekhathazekile, noma benesizungu, bayazidabukela. Ukuze benze ngcono umuzwa wabo, bagimbela khona kanye lokhokudla abebezincisha khona. Khona-ke, kube sekulandela indlela yokudla eqine ngokwengeziwe, eholela emphumeleni ofanayo—ukufobela. Lelisondo elinamandla liholela ekukhuluphaleni nasekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla. ULee wachaza indlela ukudla kancane okwaphenyela ngayo ianorexia indlela: “Ngangizame zonke izinhlobo zezindlela zokudla. Ngangincipha, bese ngiphinda ngikhuluphala futhi. Kulokhu ngangifuna ukuhlala nginciphile.”
Nakuba ukwazi izimbangela zokuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla kungelona ikhambi eliphelele lokukunqoba, ulwazi olunjalo lungamsiza umuntu ukuba agqashule. Lungasiza futhi ekuvimbeleni ukuba izinkinga ziqalise. Kodwa kuthiwani uma uqaphela ezinye zalezizici zobuntu kuwe, emkhayeni wakini, noma kumngane? Izici ezinjalo zinganqotshwa kanjani?
[Isithombe ekhasini 7]
Ukukhathazeka kakhulu ngokubukeka komuntu kungase kuholele ekuphazamisekeni kwemikhuba yokudla
[Isithombe ekhasini 8]
Abanye bayaminza ukuze babhekane nemizwelo ebuhlungu