Intsha Iyabuza . . .
Ngingaba Kanjani Umzanyana Omuhle?
‘SIZOTHANDA ukuba ugade umfowenu nodadewenu abancane.’
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubheka isabelo esinjalo njengento ecasulayo ekwenzela nzima izinto noma ukuboniswa kokuba onokwethenjelwa, umcabango wokusala wedwa nabakwelamayo ungakwenza ungakhululeki. Ungase uzibuze, ‘Kuthiwani uma beganga? Kuthiwani uma kungena isigelekeqe noma kuqubuka umlilo? Futhi kuthiwani uma omunye wabo elimala noma ehlatshwa wukugula?’
Unesizathu sokukhathazeka. Kunjalo nje, abantwana abazona izinto ezingaphili noma zokudlala kodwa bangabantu abanezidingo ezikhetheke kakhulu. Bayigugu kokubili kubazali babo nakuNkulunkulu. (IHubo 127:3) Ngakho kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ugada abakwelamayo noma ungumzanyana othola inzuzo ngakho, ukunakekela abantwana kungumthwalo nomsebenzi onzima. Nokho, ngokuba nesimo sengqondo esiqondile nangokuhlela okuhle, ungakwenza ngempumelelo.
Umashiqela Noma Umnakekeli?
Enye intsha ibonakala inomuzwa wokuthi isabelo sokuba umzanyana siyisikhundla sokuba umashiqela. Enye intombazane yakhalaza, “Udadewethu wayengangivumeli ukuba ngenze lutho! Ngazama ukumenza ukuba ayeke ukuzenza ubasi, futhi wavele wangihlaba ngempama!” Omunye umfana omncane uthi: “Ngiye ngagadwa umfowethu nodadewethu omdala, futhi kuyamangaza ukuthi igunya lishesha kanjani ukubaqhoshisa!”
Ukusho iziyalezo ngokuklabalasa njengosayitsheni oqondisa ukumasha kwamaphoyisa kungase kubonakale kujabulisa. Kodwa uma abazali bakho bezwa ngakho—njengoba ngokunokwenzeka bezokuzwa—“umbuso” wakho ungase ufike esiphelweni esishesha ngokudumazayo. IzAga 11:2 ziyaxwayisa: “Lapho kufika ukuziqhenya, kufika nehlazo.”
Sona lesosaga siyaqhubeka, “Kwabathobekileyo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” Ukuzithoba kuhilela ukwazi imingcele yakho. Futhi iqiniso liwukuthi abazali—hhayi abazanyana—abagunyazwe ngokwaphezulu ukuba bakhulise futhi beluleke abantwana. (Efesu 6:4) Indima yakho ingeyokuba umvikeli nomnakekeli.
Ukunakekela Umntwana Ngobuciko
Lokhu akusho ukuthi abantwana bangayekwa babe umhlambi kazalusile ukuze ukwazi ukuzijabulisa ngokubukela iTV noma ukufunda. “Umntwana oyekwayo uyahlazisa unina”—futhi abangele umzanyana ubuhlungu bekhanda! (IzAga 29:15) Ngeshwa, intsha ayibasingathi ngaso sonke isikhathi ngobuciko abantwana abaziphatha ngokungafanele.
Elinye iqembu lentsha laseU.S. lahlolwa ngokuphathelene nalokhu futhi labuzwa indlela ebelingasingatha ngayo izimo ezivame ukuphakama phakathi nesikhathi sokugada abantwana. Ngokwephephabhuku iAdolescence, amaphesenti angu-8 kuphela entsha abonisa ukuthi abengasingatha izindaba ngendlela ebonisa uzwela ngemizwa yabantwana. Amaphesenti angu-92 asele ayethambekele ekusebenziseni amasu angasebenzi, njengokuyaleza, ukuthetha, nezinsongo. Abacwaningi baphetha ngokuthi intsha “ithambekele ekungabini naluzwela ekusebenzelaneni kwayo nabayelamayo.”
Ungasebenzelana kanjani nabantwana ngobuciko nangokuphumelelayo? Abelusi abangamaKristu bayanxuswa: “Yazi nokwazi ukuma kwezimvu zakho, ubeke inhliziyo yakho emihlambini yakho.” (IzAga 27:23) Ngokufanayo, nawe kumelwe ulwele ukuqonda izidingo nemizwa yabantwana obanakekelayo. Bazi ngabanye. Ngokushesha uzokwazi ukuthi abantwana bamane nje abanakho ukunakisisa kwabantu abadala, isineke, noma umdlandla. Kunalokho, “abantwana bantekenteke.” (Genesise 33:13, NW) Bayachuma uma bethola uthando nokunakekelwa kodwa bangase baphelelwe isithakazelo ngokushesha futhi bangahlaliseki.
Ukusebenzisa Umthetho Wegolide
Khona-ke, ngezinye izikhathi abantwana bathatheka kakhulu lapho bedlala futhi bangase bakucasule. Bangase bazifake engozini ngokuziphatha ngokunganaki. Noma bangase bazame ukukuhlola ukuze babone ukuthi kungakanani abangakwenza bangabanjwa. (“Ngezinye izikhathi ngiphambanisela imizanyana yami,” kuvuma uDouglas oneminyaka eyisikhombisa ubudala.) Lapho lokhu kwenzeka, hleka. Sebenzisa uMthetho Wegolide othi: “Ngaso sonke isikhathi phatha abanye njengoba ungathanda bakuphathe.”—Mathewu 7:12, The New English Bible.
Khumbula, “ubuwula buboshelwe enhliziyweni yomntwana,” umfana noma intombazane, futhi esikhathini esingekude kakhulu nawe wawuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. (IzAga 22:15) Gxila ekulungiseni inkinga (“asisule lapho esichithe khona”) kunokusola umntwana. Gwema ukugana unwabu futhi ‘uphahluke njengokuhlaba kwenkemba.’ (IzAga 12:18) Ukubiza umntwana ngokuthi “siwula” noma “sidwanyampuphu” kubi futhi kungamlimaza umntwana. IzAga 29:11 (Today’s English Version) ziyasikhumbuza: “Abantu abangahlakaniphile bayiveza obala intukuthelo yabo, kodwa abantu abanengqondo banesineke futhi bayayibamba.” Enye intombazane encane engumKristu ithi: “Lapho kuthi angimshaye udadewethu oneminyaka eyisishiyagalombili, ngiyathandaza, futhi lokho kuyangisiza ukuba ngilawule intukuthelo yami.”
Ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga zingavinjelwa uma usingatha isimo ngendlela yengqondo eqondile. Ukuziphatha okuhle okunomvuzo kungase kukusebenzele kangcono kunenqwaba yezinsongo zokujezisa. Futhi, abantwana ngokunokwenzeka abanakuba nesithukuthezi futhi bangahlaliseki uma uhlela imisebenzi emihle ejabulisayo, enjengokudlala imidlalo yokucabanga. (Qhathanisa noMathewu 11:16, 17.) Mhlawumbe ikhona oyikhumbulayo owawuyidlala usengumntwana—noma ungase usungule emisha. Ungase futhi uzame ukufundela umntwana izindaba azithandayo ezisencwadini ethi Ukulalela Umfundisi Omkhulu noma ethi Incwadi Yami Yezindaba ZeBhayibheli.a
Ngezinye izikhathi abantwana bayasidinga isijeziso. Kodwa kungcono ukuxoxa nabazali bakho ngokuthi yini okumelwe uyenze ngokuphathelene nalokhu. Lokhu kunjalo ikakhulu lapho ungumzanyana oqashiwe. Izinkinga eziningi zingalinda abazali baze babuye ekhaya. Futhi usengozini yokulimaza umntwana (kungasaphathwa ukudinelwa abazali) uma ukwenza umsebenzi wakho ukusebenzisa amandla. IzAga 13:10 ziyaxwayisa: “Ngokuziqhenya kuvela ukuxabana kuphela, kepha kwabalulekwayo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.”
Ukuvikela Abantwana Ekulimaleni
UBarbara Benton encwadini yakhe iBabysitter’s Handbook uxwayisa ngokuthi: “Inhlanganisela yokungahlaliseki kwakhe, ukufuna kwakhe ukwazi, nokungakwazi kwakhe ngokuphelele ukunquma kwenza umntwana okhasayo abe isisulu esiyinhloko sazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezingase zenzeke kubantwana. Udinga ukuba oqaphile ngaso sonke isikhathi—futhi usheshe—ukumgcina elondekile.” UStephanie osemusha wafunda indlela lokhu okuyiqiniso ngayo. Uyakhumbula, “Ngangigade umshana wami ongumfana. Ngokungazelele waqala ukubindwa iqhwa! Kwadingeka ukuba ngilidonse emlonyeni wakhe, futhi ngangesaba ngempela!”
Izingozi eziningi ezimbi zingagwenywa uma ubeka iso lakho kubantwana. UBarbara Benton usikisela ezinye futhi izinyathelo: “Hambahamba endlini ukuze uthole futhi ususe noma yiziphi izinto ezingaba ingozi.” Kumelwe wazi indawo yezinto ezinjengebhokisi lezintambo zikagesi, isicimamlilo, nemithi yosizo lokuqala. Funda indlela yokuzisebenzisa kahle nangokuphephile izinto zasendlini. Ungase wenze ngisho nohlu lwezinto zokuhlolwa zokuphepha oluhlanganisa izinto ezinjengamafasitela (avaliwe?), izitebhisi (azinazo izinto eziyingozi?), izintambo ezinamasokhethi kagesi (zimbozwe kahle?), oshevu nemithi (kubekwe ngokunakekela kude nabantwana?), izintambo zikagesi (zibekwe ngaphansi komata ngokucophelela?), izihluthulelo zendlu (unezinye ukuze ungazikhiyeli ngaphandle?).
Futhi ungazilungiselela kangcono ngangokunokwenzeka ukubhekana nezimo eziphuthumayo. Enye intombazane esentsha ithi, “Ngafundela ukuba umzanyana esikoleni futhi ngafunda indlela yokwelapha izingane nabacathulayo.” Mhlawumbe izifundo ezinjalo ziyatholakala esikoleni ofunda kuso. Futhi kubalulekile ukugcina eduze incwajana enenombolo yocingo yamaphoyisa, eyabacishi bomlilo, ekadokotela womkhaya, eyesibhedlela, neyesikhungo sabanqanda ushevu. Yazi indlela yokuthinta abazali bakho futhi mhlawumbe nomakhelwane abathile abangase basize ngesikhathi sobunzima.
Uma kwenzeka ingozi noma kuphakama isimo esiphuthumayo, UNGATATAZELI! “Ohlakaniphile ugcina [umoya wakhe] uzolile kuze kube sekugcineni.” (IzAga 29:11, NW) Ngokwesibonelo umntwana angase agwinye ushevu othile. Shayela isibhedlela ucingo ngokushesha noma isikhungo sabanqanda ushevu. Uma lokho kungenakwenzeka, funda ngokunakekela iziqondiso ezisepheshaneni elikuwo. Ukuhlola isimo ngomoya ozolile kungcono kunokwenza into ngokuxhamazela (njengokumphalazisa) okungase kwenze isimo sibe sibi kakhulu. Futhi nakuba kungase kubangele usizi futhi mhlawumbe kudumaze, qiniseka ukuba ubike noma ikuphi ukulimala noma into engahambi ngakho kubazali bomntwana. Banelungelo lokwazi okwenzekile, futhi bangase banqume uma kudingeka ukuba kuthathwe ezinye izinyathelo.
Ukuba umzanyana kungase kubonakale kunjengomthwalo omkhulu—futhi kuyiwo. Kodwa kumane kufana nalokho abazali bakho abaye bakwenza iminyaka eminingi edlule bekunakekela. Ngakho yenza umsebenzi wakho ngokucophelela okukhulu. Njengoba uthola ukuzethemba nokuhlangenwe nakho, kungase kube okujabulisayo kuwe nokunomvuzo.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Zikhishwe iWatchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 21]
Iziqondiso Zokuba Umzanyana
Yenza njengezifundiswa. Qiniseka ngokuthi nivumelene ngeholo lakho.
Khuluma. Thola kusengaphambili ukuthi imisebenzi ozoyenza ihlanganisani.
Fika ngesikhathi futhi ube nokwethenjelwa.
Bazi kusengaphambili abantwana.
Yazi imithetho yalowomuzi.
[Isithombe ekhasini 20]
Abantwana badinga ukuhlala begadiwe uma bezovikelwa ekulimaleni