Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingamsiza Kanjani Umzali Wami Ongayedwa?

“Ukuba umzali ongayedwa kufana nokuba umuntu onekhono lokuphonsa izinto emoyeni ngokuzishintshanisa abuye azinqake. Ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha wenza lomdlalo, ekugcineni uye wakwazi ukuphonsa emoyeni ubuye unqake ngokushintshanisa amabhola amane kanye kanye. Kodwa ngokushesha lapho usukwazi ukwenza lokho, othile ukuphonsela ibhola elisha!”—Umzali ongayedwa.

UMSEBENZI womzali ongayedwa uyakhathaza, ngokuvamile ulukhuni. Futhi uma umama wakho engumzali ongayedwa, ngokungangabazeki uyaqaphela ukuthi uyaludinga usizo.a Kodwa njengosemusha, ubhekana nalokho omunye umlobi akubiza ngokuthi “isikhathi sokuphila esicindezela kakhulu futhi esisongelayo.” Kungase kubonakale sengathi unokuningi ngokwanele kokukwenza kokubhekana nje nokuba musha.

Nokho, njengomzali ongayedwa ocashunwe ekuqaleni, umama wakho ngezikhathi ezithile angase azizwe ephelelwa amandla, ezama ukuba yikho kokubili umama nobaba kuwe. Iqiniso, uJehova akalindeli okungenakwenzeka kunoma ubani. Njengoba esinye isimiso seBhayibheli sikubeka: “Into ebalulekile iwukuzimisela ukupha ngokusemandleni ethu​—⁠yilokho okwamukelwa uNkulunkulu.” (2 Korinte 8:​12, Phillips) Kodwa nalapho angase azizwe ecindezeleke kakhulu. Ingabe kufanele ungasinaki isimo sakhe, noma ingabe sikhona isizathu esihle ngawe sokuzama ukusiza?

‘Ukubuyisela Okufaneleyo’

Kweyoku-⁠1 Petru 3:⁠8, amaKristu ayatshelwa: “Okokugcina, manibe-nhliziyonye nonke, nihawukelane.” Ngakho-ke okungenani, ingabe ukuhawukela kwakho umzali wakho akufanele kukushukumisele ukuba umsize? Ngempela, “kuyabongeka lokho phambi kukaNkulunkulu” ngabasha abangamaKristu ukuba “babuyisele okufaneleyo kubazali babo.”​—⁠1 Thimothewu 5:⁠4.

Nakuba lombhalo ngokungangabazeki ubhekisela ekunikeni umzali ofelweyo usizo lwezimali, ufundisa isimiso esibalulekile: Sikweleta abazali bethu okungaphezu kwalokho esingakwazi ukukubuyisela. Futhi lapho beswele, kuyisibopho nelungelo lethu ukuzama ukubasekela. Ngokwesibonelo, enye intsha isebenzisa okuthile eholweni layo noma konke ekuthola ematohweni ukuze isize ekukhokheni izikweletu zasekhaya. Lokhu kubonisa ukubonga nokwazisa kwangempela!

Nokho, usizo lwezimali, lumane lungenye indlela yokubuyisela kubazali bakho “okufaneleyo.” Akukhona ukuthi kufanele uzame ukugcwalisa isikhala somzali ngakho ongasekho​—⁠lokho akunakwenzeka⁠—​futhi awudingi ukukhathazeka ngokweqile ngokomzwelo, uzizwe sengathi unomthwalo wemfanelo ngakho konke okwenzeka emkhayeni wakini. Lokho kusewumsebenzi kamama wakho njengomzali. (Qhathanisa nezAga 31:​27.) Kodwa kunezindlela eziningi eziwusizo ongabonisa ngazo ukuthi uwusizo lwangempela kumama wakho uma engumzali ongayedwa.

Ukulalela Kuwenza Lula Umthwalo Wakhe

Enye indlela iwukumane ulandele umyalo okwabaseKolose 3:​20: “Bantwana, lalelani abazali benu ezintweni zonke, ngokuba lokho kuyathandeka eNkosini.” Ungase ukwazi ngisho nokuwusho kahle ngekhanda lombhalo. Kodwa ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uyehluleka ukuwugcwalisa?

Omunye umzali ongayedwa onendodana eyeve eminyakeni eyishumi nambili usebenza amahora amaningi ukuze anakekele umkhaya wakhe. Kodwa uthi ngokububula: “Indodana yami yenza ukuphila kube nzima kakhulu lapho ingangilaleli.” Indodana yakhe iyaphikisa: “Yimina kuphela engingowesilisa ekhaya. Ngimkhulu [ngomzimba] kunomama, ngakho-ke ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ngami ukuba ngimlalele futhi ngimhloniphe njengenhloko yomkhaya.”

Ubukhulu bomzimba wakho nobulili bakho akukukhululi emyalweni kaJehova: “Ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko.” (IzAga 6:​20) Umama wakho ugunyazwe uNkulunkulu ukuba enze imithetho, noma izimiso zasekhaya. Umkweleta inhlonipho nokumlalela. Uma ungowesilisa, uMama ngothando angase akubize njengendoda yekhaya. Kodwa uyena oyinhloko yekhaya! Futhi ngokumlalela​—⁠ungaphikisani naye isikhathi ngasinye ekucela ukuba wenze okuthile⁠—​uwenza ube lula umthwalo wakhe futhi wenza kube nokuthula ekhaya.

Siza Ngomsebenzi Wasekhaya

Enye indlela yokwenza lula umthwalo womzali wakho iwukusiza ngemisebenzi yasekhaya​—⁠ungalindi kuze kube yilapho ubeleselwa khona ukuba uyenze. Ungase uthi: ‘Kodwa uMama akangiceli ukuba ngenze okuthile.’ Ngokumangalisayo, kuvame ukuba njalo. Njengoba uCarol V. Murdock ebhala: “UMama Ongayedwa noma uBaba Ongayedwa uzabalaza aze aphume endlini yokuphumula nomthwalo wezingubo okufanele ziwashwe omkhulu ngokwanele ukuba ugobise amadolo aqinile​—⁠futhi amehlo ezingane ezintathu awasuki kuthelevishini.”​—⁠Single Parents Are People, Too!

Kungani abazali abangabodwa abaningi bedinga okuncane kangaka kubantwana babo? Omunye umzali ongayedwa uyabonisa: “Angifuni ukuba indodakazi yami ilahlekelwe yinoma ikuphi ukuzijabulisa ngoba kumelwe ngisebenze. Ngesaba ukuthi izongizonda ngalokho.” Omunye wathi: “Ufuna ukuvala isikhala sokungabikho komunye umzali ngokwenza ukuba kube lula ngezingane.” Nokho, emnyombweni wemizwa enjalo, kungase kube nomuzwa wecala ongafanele womzali wakho. Angase azizwe enecala ngoba umsebenzi wokuziphilisa wenza ungamboni ngokwanele. Noma angase azizwe enecala ngokwehluleka komshado wakhe, acabange ukuthi kuyiphutha lakhe ukuhlala kwakho ekhaya elinomzali oyedwa.

NgokukaDkt. Richard A. Gardner, umlobi wencwadi iBoys and Girls Book About Divorce, enye intsha iyasizakala ngalesisimo. Ifuna ngenkani isihawu futhi yenqabe ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini yasekhaya. Nokho, lokhu kusikhumbuza ngabaholi benkolo osukwini lukaJesu. UJesu wathi ngabo: “Babopha imithwalo enzima, bayibeke emahlombe abantu; kepha bona abavumi ukuyifukula ngomunwe wabo.”​—⁠Mathewu 23:⁠4.

Bonisa isimo esihlukile. Yenqaba ukunezela emthwalweni kamama wakho; ungazikhipheli ngaphandle emsebenzini wasekhaya.

Ukuthatha Isinyathelo Kuqala

Lokhu kungase kusho ukwenza okudinga ukwenziwa ngaphandle kokuba ucelwe. Cabangela indlela uTony osemncane awenza lula ngayo umthwalo kanina. Uthi: “Umama usebenza esibhedlela, futhi inyunifomu yakhe kumelwe i-⁠ayinwe. Ngakho-ke ngiyam-ayinela yona.” Kodwa ingabe akuwona umsebenzi womuntu wesifazane lowo? “Abanye bacabanga kanjalo,” kuphendula uTony. “Kodwa kuyamsiza umama, ngakho ngiyawenza.”

Ngaphandle kokunikeza usizo olungokoqobo, ungenza okuningi ukuze wenze umama wakho azizwe ekhuthazekile ngokumane nje wenze izenzo zokwazisa. Omunye umzali ongayedwa wabhala: “Lapho ngiphansi ngempela noma ngicasulwe usuku obelunzima emsebenzini futhi ngifika ekhaya​—⁠yilolosuku indodakazi yami eye yakhetha ngalo ukudeka itafula futhi ilungise ukudla kwakusihlwa.” Uyanezela: “Indodana yami ingigaxa ngezingalo zayo bese iyanganga futhi ithi, ‘Ungumama omncane omuhle kakhulu emhlabeni.’” Zimthinta kanjani lezizenzo zokucabangela? Uyaqhubeka: “Isimo sami sonke siyashintsha sibe ngcono futhi.”

‘Hamba Eqinisweni’

“Anginayo intokozo enkulu kunaleyo yokuba ngizwe ukuthi abantwana bami bahamba eqinisweni.” (3 Johane 4) Umphostoli uJohane lapha wayekhuluma ngabantwana bakhe abangokomoya. Uma umama wakho engumKristu, ngokungangabazeki uzizwa ngaleyondlela ngawe; ufuna ukuba uhambe eqinisweni. Ukuze kube njalo angase ahlele isifundo seBhayibheli somkhaya sasikhathi sonke nawe.

Ukuqhuba lesosifundo kungase kungabi lula ngaye ngemva komsebenzi wosuku okhathazayo. Futhi uma ungabambisani naye futhi ukhononda, isifundo somkhaya singaba uhlupho kubo bonke abathintekile. Ngakho-ke bambisana naye! Yiba okulungele ukufunda lapho isikhathi esihleliwe sifika. Lungiselela izifundo zakho kusengaphambili. Ukubambisana kwakho naye kungase kube isikhuthazo umzali wakho asidingayo ukuze aqhube lesosifundo njalo. Lapho uba khona emihlanganweni yobuKristu futhi uhlanganyela emsebenzini wokushumayela endlini ngendlu ngaphandle kokugqugquzelwa, nawe futhi ubonisa ukuthi uhamba eqinisweni. (Mathewu 24:​14; Heberu 10:​24, 25) Ngalendlela uqinisekisa umama wakho ukuthi imizamo yakhe ayilona ize!

Izinzuzo

IzAga 3:​27 zithi: “Ungagodleli abaninikho okuhle, lapho kusemandleni esandla sakho ukukwenza.” Ngokusobala, ukweleta umzali wakho ukucabangela okunjalo. Futhi lapho ukunikeza, awujabulisi yena kuphela kodwa uJehova uNkulunkulu siqu. Enye inzuzo: Umzali wakho uyoba sesimweni esingcono kakhulu sokukunikeza usizo lapho uludinga.

Okokugcina, ukusiza abanye kwakha izimfanelo ezinhle. Kunjengoba omunye umlobi ephawula: “Abantu abasha badinga amathuba okuzizwa besiza futhi bepha abanye. Lapho bengenzi lutho lwalokhu, abanakuwabona amandla nokuqina kwabo [lokho okuza] ngokwazi ukuthi ungumuntu omuhle osiza abanye.” Njengoba uJesu ngokwakhe asho: “Kunenjabulo enkulu ekupheni kunasekwamukeleni.” (IzEnzo 20:​35, NW) Futhi injabulo enkulu ingaba ngeyakho uma ukukhathalela ngokwanele ukusiza umzali wakho ongayedwa.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 19]

Omusha oyivila nongenandaba unezela ukucindezeleka ekuphileni komzali wakhe . . . Lowo omsizayo emsebenzini wasekhaya uwenza lula umthwalo wakhe