Ukunakekela—Ukubhekana Nokucindezeleka Kwansuku Zonke

UMA ukunakekela abazali bakho kukubangela ukucindezeleka okuthile, ikakhulukazi obungakulindele, ungase uthambekele ekubeni nomuzwa wecala. Ungase uzibuze: ‘Ingabe kukhona okuthile okungalungile ebuhlotsheni bami nabazali bami? Ingabe abantu abadala ezizweni eziningi abahlali yini ngokujabula nabazali babo kukho konke ukuphila kwabo?’

Nokho, isimo sakho singase sibe esihlukile. Kungenzeka ukuthi abazali bakho bathuthele kwakho ngemva kokuhlala bodwa iminyaka engu-20, 30, 40, noma ngaphezulu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ngokwengxenye enkulu yokuphila kwenu wena nabazali bakho niye nazenzela izindlela zokuphila nemikhuba ethile ningencikile komunye nomunye. Ngemva kwamashumi eminyaka amaningana, lezozindlela zokuphila nemikhuba kungenzeka kuye kwahlukana kakhulu. Kodwa manje, njengomnakekeli, ubhekene nesidingo sokwenza ukuphila kwakho kuvumelane nokwalabo obanakekelayo. Lokhu kungaba nzima kakhudlwana kunokuba benikade nihlala ndawonye sonke lesisikhathi.

Futhi abanye abazali bangase bagule kakhulu noma ngezindlela ezithile badinge ukunakekela okukhetheke ngokwengeziwe. Nakuba, ngokuncomekayo, kungase kwenzeke ukuthi ubanikeza okudingekayo futhi ungaboni sidingo sokubayisa ekhaya labagugile, ngokuqondakalayo lesisimo sibeka ukucindezela kwansuku zonke kini nonke. Ukunakekela abazali bakho kungokwemvelo. Ukuguga nokugula akukhona okungokwemvelo. UMdali akazange ahlose ukuba lapho abantu bekhula baphelelwe amandla nempilo yabo. Ngakho-ke, ungacabangi ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngawe ngoba nje isimo sidinga okwengeziwe, ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, kunobukade ukulindele.—Genesise 1:26-31; IHubo 90:10.

Ukucindezeleka okuhlobene nokunakekela abazali bakho empeleni akubonisi ubuhlobo obubuthakathaka phakathi kwakho nabo. Ikakhulukazi uma ubujabulela ubuhlobo obuhle nabo ngaphambi kokuba badinge usizo lwakho, kunokwenzeka ukuthi noma yibuphi ubunzima obhekene nabo bungumphumela wezinselele ezingase zibangelwe ukubanakekela. Ungabhekana kanjani ngokuphumelelayo nokucindezeleka kwansuku zonke?

Ukubhekana Nemizwa Yokuba Necala

Ngisho nabantu abenza konke abangakwenzela abazali babo ngezinye izikhathi baba nomuzwa wokuba necala ngenxa yokungenzi okwengeziwe. Nokho, ukukhathazeka okungafanele kungaba inkinga. Ungazithola wenza izinqumo ezihloselwe ukuqeda imizwa yakho engafanele yokuba necala kodwa ngempela ezingakuzuzisi wena noma abazali bakho. Ngokwesibonelo, kungenzekani uma owesifazane egxila ekunakekeleni abazali bakhe ukuze adambise imizwa yakhe engafanele yokuba necala, kangangokuba angamnaki umyeni wakhe nabantwana bakhe? Yena, umyeni wakhe, nabantwana bakhe bangalimala. Ngakho ungavumeli ukukhathazeka okungafanele kulawule ukuphila kwakho.

Ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa unecala ngoba kubonakala ukuthi awusoze wabenzela okwanele abazali bakho? Khona-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi izidingo zabazali bakho zingaphezu kwalokho onamandla okubanikeza kona. Isimo singase sibe wukuthi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini oyenzayo, kuhlale kunokwengeziwe okungenziwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ubheka ukunakekela abazali bakho njengendlela yokubakhokhela ngakho konke abakwenzela khona ngesikhathi bekunakekela usemncane, uyohlale uzizwa unecala, ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuba ubakhokhele ngokugcwele.

Incwadi ethi You and Your Aging Parents ibonisa isidingo sokuba unqume ukuthi kungakanani oyokwenzela abazali bakho. Ithi: “Uyozivikela kakhulu ekukhathaleni okungokomzwelo uma ngokuyinhloko ungasekeli [izinqumo zakho] kulokho ongathanda ukukwenza noma ngisho kulokho okufanele ukwenze, kodwa uzisekela kulokho ongakwenza.”

Yebo, nquma ngobuqotho ukuthi yini oyilindele wena ngokwakho. Kungase kusize ukuhlanganisa nosizo lomngane othembekile owazi amakhono akho, ukulinganiselwa kwakho, nesimo somkhaya wakho. Ingabe ungabaletha abazali bakho kwakho? Ingabe unendawo eyanele yokuhlala? Ingabe bayovuma ukuthuthela kwakho? Uma abazali bakho bengahlali nawe, ungabavakashela kaningi kangakanani, futhi nini? Uma wenza lokho ongakwenza, asikho isidingo sokuba uzizwe unecala. Uma kwenzeka uzizwa unecala, bheka lowomuzwa njengongafanele futhi wenqabe ukuba ubuse izinqumo zakho.

Wuhlanganyele Nabanye Umthwalo

Incwadi yeBhayibheli yomShumayeli ibonisa indlela okungenampilo ngayo ukuba “mubi ngokudluleleyo” noma ‘ukulunga ngokudluleleyo’ nokuthi ukulunga ngokudluleleyo ‘kungakuchitha.’ (UmShumayeli 7:16-18) Lokhu kungenzeka uma uzama ukufeza okungaphezu kwalokho ofuna ukukwenza, ongakwenza, ngisho nokufanele ukwenze.

Uma kade umatasatasa ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukunakekela abazali bakho, kumelwe uhlunge eminye imisebenzi noma uthole usizo. Nokho, abaningi abadinga usizo bayangabaza ukulucela. Bangase bazizwe benamahloni kakhulu noma bathi abanye abazimisele ukubasiza. Nokho, uzilimaza wena nawo wonke umuntu osondelene nawe uma uzigqilaza. Encwadini yakhe ephathelene nokunakekela, umlobi u-E. Jane Mall ubiza ukuzikhandla okunjalo ngokuthi “uphawu lokuzibulala.” Uyeluleka: “Kufanele ube nohlu lwezinto eziza kuqala, futhi ezintathu zezinto zakho eziza kuqala kufanele kube isikhathi sokuba [nomngane wakho womshado], isikhathi sokuba nabantwana bakho nabangane, nesikhathi sokuba wedwa.”

Yebo, kungase kudingeke uwuhlanganyele nabanye umthwalo. Ngakho ungalufunaphi usizo? Umkhaya, abangane, omakhelwane, nochwepheshe bangaba usizo. Kodwa kumelwe ulucele. Futhi kumelwe ulucele ngokuqondile. Ukusikisela akusebenzi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ungase umangale ukuthi obani futhi bangaki abazimisele ukukusiza uma izidingo zakho zaziwa ngokucacile, izicelo zakho ziqondile. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ucele othile ukuba akusize uhlanze indlu. Uma lokho kungakunikeza ukuphumula okudingayo, khona-ke lesi akusona isikhathi sokuba uphikelele uzihlanzela wena indlu ngoba ‘engekho omunye umuntu ongayihlanza kahle.’

Uma unabafowenu noma odadewenu, nabo banomthwalo wemfanelo wokunakekela abazali babo. Mhlawumbe kuze kube yimanje ubulokhu wenza konke noma unengxenye enkulu ekubanakekeleni, ukholelwa ukuthi abafowenu nodadewenu abakwazi noma abazimisele ukukusiza. Nokho, ingabe wake walucela ngokuqondile usizo lwabo? Abanye abantu bangasabela kahle—uma betshelwe ngokucacile ukuthi usizo luyadingeka.

Abanye bamnakekela bodwa umzali bezama ukuzuza noma ukuthola ukuthandwa abazali. Noma bangase bazuze ukuthandwa umzali ngokwenza wonke umsebenzi. Bangase bakhononde ngokuthi abanye ngeke basize ngokubanakekela, kodwa futhi bangase babonise nezimpawu zokuthi bakuthanda kungaleyondlela. Lokhu kungase kube indlela yokulunga ngokudlulele. Kodwa kungani uzilethela ubunzima obungadingekile? Uma usizo lutholakala, lucele, futhi ulusebenzise.

Izwi lesixwayiso: Ungalindeli ukuthi abafowenu nodadewenu bazohlanganyela imithwalo yemfanelo ngokulinganayo nawe. Nakuba ngezinye izikhathi kungase kwenzeke, ngokuvamile izimo zabo siqu zikwenza kube nzima, noma kungabi nakwenzeka. Ezimweni eziningi kuwusizo kakhulu uma elinye lamalungu omkhaya liba umnakekeli oyinhloko, kuyilapho amanye amalungu omkhaya, ikakhulukazi abafowenu nodadewenu, benikela ngokwezimali nangokubashayela ucingo, ukubavakashela, noma ngezinye izikhathi bayise abazali babo emizini yabo noma bashaywe umoya nabo ngezimpelasonto.

Ukuhlala Ndawonye

Ukuhlala ndawonye kungase kubangele izinto ezincane ezicasulayo. Imikhuba obungayithethelela kalula kumngane ingase ibonakale ingabekezeleleki elungwini lomkhaya eliseduze.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, umzali wakho angase asho okuthile okufana nalokhu, ‘Ngifisa sengathi ubungachitha isikhathi esengeziwe nami, kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi umatasatasa kakhulu ukuba ungakwenza lokho.’ Kungenzeka ukuthi lamazwi afihla umuzwa wokuthi eqinisweni awumkhathaleli ngokwanele umzali wakho. Ungase usabele ngokucasuka emazwini anjalo. Kunokuba ucasuke, bekungeke yini kube ngcono ukubhekana nokukhathazeka okuyinhloko komzali wakho, okuwukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe enawe? Ngisho noma ungenakusamukela isicelo, ukubachazela ngomusa kungaba nemiphumela engcono kunempendulo elimazayo.—IzAga 12:18.

Imizamo eqotho yokuhlakulela izimfanelo ezikhuthazwa yiBhayibheli kuyokusiza ukuba uhlale unomusa kodwa uqine lapho kudingekile. Incwadi yeBhayibheli yabaseKolose ivuma ngokunengqondo ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi siye sibe “nensolo komunye.” Isiqondisa ukuba ‘sibekezelelane, [futhi] sithethelelane.’ Futhi isinxusa ukuba sembathe “ububele benhliziyo, nesisa, nokuzithoba, nobumnene, nokubhekakade.” (Kolose 3:12-14) Ngokuqinisekile izimfanelo ezinjalo ziyoba usizo ekunciphiseni izinto ezicasulayo ezibangelwa ukuhlala ndawonye.

Ngisho noma wenza iphutha ngezinye izikhathi, uphelelwa ukubekezela, futhi usho okuthile ofisa sengathi ngabe awukushongo, ‘ilanga malingashoni usathukuthele.’ Xolisa ngokushesha, futhi uyikhohlwe indaba. Ungayivumeli ukuba ibe omunye umthombo wemizwa yokuba necala.—Efesu 4:26, 27.

Ukuthola Isikhathi Sokuba Wedwa

Uma wena nabazali bakho nihlala endlini eyodwa, ungase ukuthole kunzima ukuthola isikhathi sokuba wedwa. Nokho, wena nabazali bakho niyasidinga isilinganiso esithile saso. Ungase uxoxe nabo ngalenkinga bese nifinyelela ekuqondeni ukuthi izikhathi nezindawo ezithile ngezokuba wena noma umkhaya wakho nibe nodwa. Ngokwesibonelo, eminye imikhaya, kodwa hhayi yonke, ingase ivumelane ngokuthi isivalo esivaliwe esinophawu oluthi ungaphazamisi siwuphawu olubonisa indawo yokuba wedwa noma ukuthi isikhathi somuntu ongaphakathi sokuba abe yedwa.

Uma indlu ingenaso isivalo, isihenqo esithwalekayo singafeza injongo efanayo. Isikhumbuzo esenziwe ngekhono singase sibe esifanelekile uma isikhathi sokuba wedwa siphazanyiswa ngokungalindelekile. Iphuzu liwukuthi, isidingo somuntu ngamunye sokuba yedwa kufanele sihlonishwe yiwo wonke umuntu emkhayeni.

Kuyilungelo

Khumbula ukuthi nakuba ukuwohloka kwempilo yabazali bakho kukuzwisa ubuhlungu, uMdali wethu, uJehova, ufuna ukuba sibe nesilinganiso senjabulo ngisho nalapho sibhekene nezimo ezivivinyayo. Lomsebenzi ungase futhi ukusize ukuba usondele kuJehova njengoba uncika kuye ngomthandazo. Omunye umnakekeli wakuchaza ngalendlela: “Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngangisondele kuJehova, kodwa ukunakekela abazali kwangifundisa ukuncika kuye ngokuphelele. Kwakufana nomehluko ophakathi kokushayela umuntu okude ucingo nokuba nalowomuntu. UJehova wayenami ngokuphelele.”

Ukunakekela abazali kuyilungelo kanye nesibopho. Xhumana nabazali bakho ukuze wazi izidingo zabo. Nakekela izidingo zabo, futhi kujabulele ukwenza kanjalo.—Filipi 4:4-7; 1 Petru 5:7.

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]

Ukwenza Ukunakekela Abazali Kube Okujabulisayo

1. Ngokuvamile lokho okufunwa abazali kubantwana babo asebekhulile ukuxhumana okunengqondo. Lokhu kudinga ukusondelana eduze nabazali bakho futhi uveze izici ezibalulekile ngawe. Lokhu kungase kube nzima ebuhlotsheni bomzali nomntwana osekhulile. Noma yiziphi izimo zengqondo zokwahlulela phakathi kwenu zingaba izithiyo. Izimo zengqondo ezinjalo zidinga ukubuyiselwa eceleni ukuze nikwazi ukusondelana.

2. Uma omunye wabazali bakho ekutshela inkinga noma into emkhathazayo, lalela ngozwela. Izimpendulo ezilulaza imizwa yabo zingase zikhulise imizwa ephambene ezinjengokuthi: ‘Oh, akukubi kangako’ noma, ‘Ngiyazi, nakimi kwenzeka izinto ezifanayo,’ zingase zikhulise imizwa ephambene. Uyophumelela kakhudlwana uma uzama ukuthola imizwa ecashile yabazali bakho, bese uyamukela futhi uyihlanganyele nabo (‘Kubonakala kunzima ngani njengamanje, kodwa sizokuxazulula ndawonye’).—IzAga 20:5.

3. Uma ungumngane womshado womnakekeli oyinhloko, yiba ngosekelayo ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Khulumisana nomngane wakho womshado; kungenjalo kuyoba khona ukungaqondani. Ukusekela komngane womshado kwenza umehluko omkhulu. Omunye wesifazane wakhala ngokuthi ukungasekeli komkhaya wakhe “kwakunzima ukubhekana nakho ngaphezu kokunakekela unina.” Ngakolunye uhlangothi, walwazisa ngokujulile usizo lomngane othile owayemkhulula ngezikhathi ezithile. Wathi: “Ngathinteka inhliziyo lapho engisiza. Kwangijabulisa kakhulu, futhi kwangisondeza kuye.”

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 10]

Uma Unakekelwa

Kungase kwenzeke ukuthi uyanakekelwa. Yini ongayenza ukuze ulondoloze ubuhlobo obusesilinganisweni futhi obunokuthula nabantwana bakho?

Abanye abazali benza iphutha lokuzama ukuzuza ukulawula ngokubelesela, ukuthungatha, noma ukubeka icala. Ngokunokwenzeka uyazi ukuthi lokhu kumane nje kuphumele ekulawuleni okuncane nasekucindezelekeni kakhudlwana. Imiphumela iba ngcono lapho ubonisa abantwana bakho asebekhulile ukuthi uyabahlonipha, uyasihlonipha isikhathi sabo sokuba bodwa, nemibono yabo, ngisho nalapho ungavumelani nabo. Ukubancoma njalo abantwana kunomphumela omuhle. Omunye umntwana osekhulile waphawula: “Umntwana udinga ukutuswa abazali bakhe kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mdala kangakanani.”

Esimweni esinjalo sothando nenhlonipho, yisho izidingo zakho kubantwana bakho. Ukusikisela nokugudla kuyalimaza kunokuba kwenze okuhle, ngakho yisho ngokuqondile, kodwa ngomusa. Ngisho nalapho wena nabantwana bakho ningavumelani ngephuzu elithile, ukuba nesu kwakho kuyoba nengxenye ebuhlotsheni obuqotho nobuseduze obungenakho ukungaqondani.

[Izithombe ekhasini 8, 9]

Njengoba unakekela abazali bakho, yenza futhi nesikhathi sokuba nomngane wakho womshado, nabantwana bakho, nesokuba wedwa