Siza Ingane Yakho Ibhekane

Nezinkinga Zesikole

IZIMO zezwe eziwohlokayo ziyasithinta sonke, kuhlanganise nezingane zethu. IZwi likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli, labikezela ngokunembile ukuthi osukwini lwethu “izikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo [zaziyofika]” nokuthi “abantu ababi nabakhohlisi [babeyoqhubeka] besuka kokubi baye kokubi kakhulu.” (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5, 13, NW) Ngakho-ke, ukufunda esikoleni namuhla kugcwele ubunzima njengoba abafundi belwa nezimo abazali babo abangazange babhekana nazo. Yini-ke abazali abangayenza ekusizeni izingane zabo zibhekane nesimo?

Ukucindezela Kontanga

Izingane eziningi zibhekana nokucindezela kontanga ngezinye izikhathi. Omunye umfundi waseFrance uyabalisa: “Abazali nomphakathi benza konke okusemandleni abo, kodwa akwanele. Intsha engamahlongandlebe icindezela enye intsha. . . . Abazali abangazilawuli izingane zabo ababazali balutho.”

Abazali abakhathalelayo bayazama ukusiza izingane zabo ukuba zibe nezimfanelo ezingokomoya ezizinika amandla angaphakathi eziwadingayo ukuze zimelane nokucindezela kontanga okonakalisayo. “Senza umzamo oqotho wokusiza izingane zethu zakhe ukuzethemba,” kuchaza omunye ubaba, “ukuze zingasiboni isidingo sokufuna ukwamukeleka kontanga yazo. Uma ukufana nezinye izingane kungabalulekile kuzo, ziyokuthola kulula ukwenqaba uma kudingeka zenqabe.” Ukuze afundise izingane zakhe indlela yokubhekana nezimo ezinzima, lomzali uhlela isikhathi sokuba umkhaya wakhe uhlanganyele ekudlaleni izimo ezingase ziphakame esikoleni, kudlalwe ngokoqobo izimo ezinzima ezingaphakama futhi kuboniswe izindlela zokubhekana nazo. Yiba umzali osekelayo, futhi usize ingane yakho ibe nokuzethemba.

Ulimi Olungcolile

Njengoba izindinganiso zokuziphatha ziwohloka emhlabeni wonke, ulimi olungcolile luyanda. Emazweni amaningi seluzwakala kaningi ngisho nakulokho okuthiwa izinhlelo ze-TV ezibukwa iningi. Ngakho, ezindaweni zokudlala zesikole, emaphasishi, nasemakilasini inhlamba izindizela emoyeni nje.

Abanye othisha bayayithethelela eyabo inhlamba, bethi inkulumo enjalo ingenza abafundi bazifundele kwezabo. Kodwa leyondlela imane yenze abafundi bathathe lamazwi onakele njengengxenye eyamukelekayo yenkulumo yansuku zonke.

Umzali ohlakaniphile uchaza ngendlela yomusa ukuthi kungani ukugagula amazwi anjalo kungavumelekile emkhayeni. Angase futhi ayinqande kusengaphambili inkinga yolimi olungcolile emsebenzini wesikole ngokuhlola uhlelo lwezifundo zesikole ukuze athole ukuthi iziphi izincwadi umntanakhe azobe ezifunda. Uma ezinye zalezozincwadi ezikhethiwe zinenkulumo engcolile noma zibonisa ukuziphatha okubi, mhlawumbe angacela uthisha wengane ukuba akhethe enye incwadi eyamukelekayo. Indlela elinganiselayo yokusingatha isimo ibonisa ukuhluzeka kwengqondo.—Filipi 4:5, qhathanisa ne-NW.

Ukuziphatha Okubi Nezidakamizwa

Ukuhlola kwembula ukuthi abazali abaningi bayavuma ukuthi “banamahloni kakhulu ukukhuluma ngendaba [yemfundo yobulili] ekhaya.” Esikhundleni salokho, bathembele esikoleni ukuze sinikeze izingane zabo ukwaziswa okuqondile. Kodwa i-Sunday Times yaseLondon ibika ukuthi, ngokusho komunye uthisha onokuhlangenwe nakho, inani elikhulu lokukhulelwa kwentsha “lihlangene kakhulu nokuziphatha kunokusebenza kwezinto zokuvimbela inzalo.” Abazali basesimweni esingcono kakhulu sokumisa izindinganiso zokuziphatha abalindele ukuba abantwana babo bazilandele.

Kungokufanayo nangokusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa. Ukuntuleka kwesiqondiso sabazali kwenza lenkinga ibe yimbi kakhulu. “Lapho ukuphila kwasekhaya kungasemnandi enganeni,” kuphawula i-Francoscopie 1993, “nokuthambekela kwayo ekutholeni lokho ezozilibazisa ngakho kuyakhula. [Ukusebenzisa] izidakamizwa kuvame ukuba ngokunye kwakho.” “Kunzima ukuba umzali,” kuvuma uMicheline Chaban-Delmas, umongameli wenhlangano okuthiwa i-Toxicomanie et Prévention Jeunesse (Ukusetshenziswa Kwezidakamizwa Nokuvikelwa Kwentsha). “Kufanele uhlale uqaphile; izidakamizwa ngokuvamile ziyindlela yokuxwayisa abazali ukuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi. Uma lowo omusha eba nomuzwa wokuthi unina noma uyise akamnakile, lapho enikwa izidakamizwa, zingase zibonakale ziyikhambi elisamlingo ezinkingeni zakhe.”

Omunye umzali waseCanada uchaza indlela yena nomkakhe abanesithakazelo ngayo emfundweni yendodakazi yabo esakhula: “Siye sihambise uNadine esikoleni ngemoto sibuye simlande. Ngokuvamile, ngemva kokumgibelisa, kuqala ingxoxo eyembula ukuthi usuku lwakhe luhambe kanjani. Uma sithola okuthile okubonakala kungathi sína, sikhuluma naye ngaso lesosikhathi noma siphinde siyivuse leyondaba ngesikhathi sokudla kwakusihlwa noma phakathi nengxoxo yomkhaya.” Nawe ungakubonisa ukukhathalela okuqotho nothando ngomntanakho ngokugcina imizila yokukhulumisana ivulekile.

Ukuhlukunyezwa Nobudlova

Ukuhlukunyezwa “kungenye yezinkinga zesikole ezinganakiwe kakhulu,” kusho uMaureen O’Connor kwethi How to Help Your Child Through School. Uphawula nokuthi “kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuletha usizi olungakanani kulezozisulu, ngokuvamile azizimisele ukutshela umuntu omdala ngoba zesaba ukubizwa ‘ngegwala.’”

Ngokudabukisayo, abanye othisha bathatha ukuhlukumeza njengokuziphatha okuvamile. Kodwa abanye abaningi bayavumelana nesazi sezemfundo uPete Stephenson, okholelwa ukuthi ukuhlukumeza “kuwuhlobo oluthile lokuxhaphaza” futhi ugcizelela ngokuthi “ukukuyeka kuqhubeke akuzisizi ngalutho izidlova.”

Yini-ke, wena ongayenza uma umntanakho eba isisulu sesidlova? “Isivikelo sokuqala,” kuloba u-O’Connor, “kumelwe kube abantu abadala balapho [izisulu] zihlala khona.” Khuluma nothisha onomusa. Lokhu kuzoqinisekisa umntanakho ukuthi nobabili nikubheka njengokungamukeleki ukuziphatha okunjalo kobudlova. Izikole eziningi sezinezimiso ezicacile zokumelana nokuhlukumeza, lezo othisha abakhuluma ngazo obala emakilasini.

UNatalie waba isisulu sezidlova ngenxa yenkolo yakhe. “Ngenxa yokuthi ngangingomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, ngangethukwa, futhi ngezinye izikhathi izinto zami zazidatshulwa,” elandisa. Ukuze kuxazululeke lenkinga, wakhuluma nabazali bakhe, abasikisela ukuba akhulume nothisha bakhe. Wakwenza lokho. “Ngaphinde ngathatha isinyathelo kuqala sokukhuluma ngocingo nabazali bababili engifunda nabo ababengihlukumeza,” enezela. “Ngenxa yokuthi ngakwazi ukubachazela ngalenkinga, izinto sezingcono kakhulu manje. Ngalendlela ngathola ukwethenjwa kokubili othisha bami nayiningi lengifunda nabo.”

Ngezinye izikhathi, abazali bathola ukuthi ingane yabo iyisidlova, akuyona ehlukunyezwayo. Ngakho-ke bangenza kahle ukuqaphelisisa ukuthi kwenzekani ekhaya. “Izingane ezinokuziphatha kobudlova kakhulu zivame ukuvela emakhaya lapho abazali bengazixazululi ngokwanele khona izingxabano,” kubika i-Times yaseLondon, inezela: “Ukuziphatha kobudlova kuyafundwa.”

Ubudlova sebufinyelele amazinga angasanqandeki kwezinye izindawo. Lapho udlame lwezombangazwe lwenza ukufunda kube nzima ngempela, izingane ezikwazisayo ukungathathi-hlangothi, ngezikhathi ezithile, ziye zakuthola kuwukuhlakanipha ukuhlala emakhaya. Kodwa uma inkathazo iqala zisesesikoleni, zimonyuka ngokuhlakanipha ziye emakhaya isimo size sidambe.

Ukufundisa Okusezingeni Eliphansi

Ukukhulumisana okuhle phakathi kwengane yakho nothisha bayo kungasiza lapho ukufundisa okusezingeni eliphansi kubangela izinkinga. “Siyikhuthaza njalo indodakazi yethu ukuba ibe nesimo sengqondo esihle ngezifundo zayo,” kuphawula omunye umbhangqwana. Kodwa lapho othisha behluleka ukwenza isifundo esithile sikhange, izingane zisheshe ziphelelwe isithakazelo. Uma umntanakho ethola ukuthi kunjalo, kungani ungamkhuthazi ukuba akhulume nothisha ngasese?

Siza umntanakho ukuba alungiselele imibuzo okuzothi lapho iphendulwa, yenze kube lula ukuqonda iphuzu elikulesosifundo nokuba afunde ukusebenzisa lokho okufundiswayo. Nokho, lokhu kukodwa akuqinisekisi ukuthi uzoba nesithakazelo esiqotho nesihlala njalo kulesosifundo. Okuningi kuxhomeke esibonelweni sakho njengomzali. Bonisa ukuthi unendaba ngokuxoxa nomntanakho ngezifundo, futhi umsize emsebenzini wokucwaninga awabelwe uthisha.

Esikoleni, kunezingane ezivela emakhaya ahlukene phakathi, noma eziphila ngaphansi kwezimo zokuxhashazwa nokunganakwa, futhi ngaleyondlela ezintula ukuzethemba nokuzihlonipha. Zihlangana nezingane ezingase zibe sesimweni esingcono. Abazali abaningi bayaqaphela ukuthi kufanele baphikelele ekusizeni izingane zabo zibhekane nezinkinga eziphakama esikoleni. Kodwa kuthiwani ngokusebenzelana kwabazali nothisha? Hlobo luni lobuhlobo okufanele baluhlakulele, futhi kanjani?

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]

Ingabe Ingane Yakho Iyisisulu Sesidlova?

OCHWEPHESHE beluleka abazali ukuba baqaphele izimpawu zenkinga enganeni yabo. Ingabe ibonisa ukunqena ukuya esikoleni, igwema efunda nabo, ifika ekhaya inemihuzuko noma izingubo ezidabukile?

Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba ikutshele ukuthi kwenzekeni ngempela. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuba wazi uma ngempela inkinga iwukuhlukunyezwa. Uma kunjalo, khuluma nothisha onozwela.

Siza umntanakho ukuba abhekane nakho ngokusikisela ukuba ahlale eseduze nafunda nabo abanokwethenjelwa futhi agweme izindawo nezimo angaphinda ahlukunyezwe kuzo. Ingane enamahlaya futhi ekwaziyo ukuzikhulumela ezimweni ezinzima ngokuvamile iyaphumelela.

Gwema ukukhathazeka ngokweqile, futhi ungakukhuthazi ukuziphindiselela.