Ukuhlala Ndawonye Ngothando

Gogo Nomkhulu Abathandekayo,

Niyaphila? Ngicabanga ukuthi ngingenwa umkhuhlane.

Ngiyabonga ngokudlala nami ngaleliya langa. Nangiyisa epaki nasendaweni yokugeza yomphakathi. Ngakujabulela kakhulu.

Ngonyaka ozayo ngo-February 11, siyoba nekhonsathi esikoleni. Ngicela niphinde nifike uma kungenzeka.

Sijabula kakhulu lapho nikhona, gogo nomkhulu.

Nizinakekele, futhi niphile njalo. Kuzoba makhaza, ngakho qikelelani ukuba ningangenwa umkhuhlane.

Ngibheke phambili esikhathini esizayo lapho niyofika nidlale nami. Ngicela ningikhonzele kuYumi nakuMasaki.

UMika (waseJapane)

INGABE umzukulu wakho wake wakubhalela incwadi enjengalena? Uma kunjalo, ngokungangabazeki yakujabulisa kakhulu lapho uyithola. Izincwadi ezinjengalena ziwubufakazi bobuhlobo obuhle bothando phakathi kogogo nomkhulu nabazukulu. Kodwa yini edingekayo ukuze kusungulwe, kulondolozwe, futhi kuqiniswe ubuhlobo obunjena? Futhi bungazizuzisa kanjani lezi zizukulwane ezintathu?

Uthando—‘Isibopho Esiphelele Sobunye’

URoy noJean, ogogo nomkhulu baseBrithani, bathi: “Sinomuzwa wokuthi izimiso eziyinhloko ziwukuqaphela ubunhloko nokuzwana nomunye nomunye.” LaboFakazi BakaJehova ababili bacaphuna ngokuqondile umbhalo weyabaseKolose 3:14, ochaza uthando lobuKristu ngokuthi “luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.” Uthando lubangela inhlonipho, ukunakekela kokucabangela, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, nobunye bomkhaya. Lapho ubaba efika ekhaya evela emsebenzini, wonke umkhaya uyamhlangabeza umamukele ngokufudumele. Uma kunothando emkhayeni, kwenzeka okufanayo lapho kufika ugogo nomkhulu. “Sebefikile ogogo nomkhulu!” kumemeza ingane ngenjabulo. Ngalolo suku kusihlwa, umndeni uhlanganyela esidlweni sakusihlwa, futhi umkhulu, elandela isiko lendawo, uhlala endaweni abekelwe yona enhla netafula. Ungazicabanga yini wena nomkhaya wakho nikulesi simo esithandekayo? Niyasijabulela yini lesi sibusiso?

“Ubumpunga Bungumqhele Wodumo”

Ngokusobala, ukuthanda nokuhlonipha ugogo nomkhulu kumelwe kuboniswe ngokuqhubekayo, hhayi emikhosini ekhethekile kuphela. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu kubalulekile ukufundisa izingane njalo. Emkhayeni izingane zifunda ukuthanda izihlobo nabanye, zilandela isibonelo esibekwa abazali bazo. Isibonelo sabo sibalulekile, njengoba kwaphawula abaningi okwaxoxwa nabo ngalendaba. UMacaiah, ubaba waseBenin City, eNigeria, uthi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi isibonelo sami sokuhlonipha umukhwe nomkhwekazi wami naso siye sasiza izingane zami ukuba zizithobe futhi zihloniphe. Ngibiza umukhwe nomkhwekazi wami ngokuthi ‘Baba’ nokuthi ‘Mama.’ Izingane zami ziyezwa futhi zibone ukuthi ngibahlonipha njengabazali bami.”

Uma abazukulu bengabahloniphi, ogogo nomkhulu bangase baphatheke kabi, hhayi ngenxa yokushiyeka ngokwako kodwa ngenxa yeqiniso lokuthi abazali ababakhuzi. UDemetrio, umkhulu waseRome, e-Italy, uthi: “Indlela indodakazi yami nomkhwenyana abasithanda ngayo ngiyibona endleleni abafundisa ngayo abazukulu ukuba basazise futhi basihloniphe.” Ngezinye izikhathi, abazukulu bangase babajwayele kakhulu ogogo nomkhulu, njengokungathi bangontanga, noma babaphathe ngendlela eveza isimo sengqondo sokuziphakamisa. Kuwumthwalo wemfanelo wabazali ukukhuza noma ikuphi ukuthambekela okunjalo. UPaul, uFakazi waseNigeria, uthi: “Esikhathini esingangonyaka esidlule, izingane zaqala ukubukela phansi umama. Lapho ngikuqaphela lokhu, ngazifundela izAga 16:31: ‘Ubumpunga bungumqhele wodumo,’ futhi ngazikhumbuza ukuthi ugogo wazo ungumama wami. Ngendlela ezingihlonipha ngayo, kufanele zimhloniphe kanjalo naye. Futhi ngafunda nazo isahluko 10 sencwadi ethi Ubusha Bakho—Ukuthola Okungcono Kakhulu Kubo,a esinesihloko esithi ‘Ubabheka Kanjani Abazali Bakho?’ Manje, azisenayo nakancane inkinga yokuhlonipha ugogo wazo.”

Izinzuzo Zokuhlakulela Ubuhlobo Bomkhaya

Ukubonisana uthando lomzwelo kungahlakulelwa ngisho noma amalungu omkhaya ehlala kude. UStephen, umkhulu waseNigeria, uthi: “Sibhalela umzukulu wethu ngamunye incwadi. Lomsebenzi unzima, kodwa umvuzo wokwakha nokulondoloza ubuhlobo obuseduze nabazukulu uye waba mkhulu kakhulu.” Imizamo yabazali ibalulekile kulesi sici. Abanye, kuye ngokwezimo zabo, baxhumana ngokushayelana ucingo.

UGiuseppe, umkhulu waseBari, e-Italy, onabazukulu abangu-11, uchaza indlela abuhlakulela ngayo ubuhlobo obufudumele namalungu omkhaya wakhe aseduze: “Njengamanje, imikhaya emithathu kweyisithupha eyakha ‘isizwe’ sami ihlala kude. Kodwa lokho akusona isithiyo sokuxhumana okujabulisayo nemibuthano esiba nayo ndawonye. Sinomkhuba wokuhlangana ndawonye okungenani kanye ngonyaka, sonke singu-24.”

Lapho ogogo nomkhulu behlala bodwa, uma bengavakashelani, bengashayelani ucingo, noma bengabhalelani njalo namalungu omkhaya, bangase bangabi nobuhlobo obuseduze. Uthando lomzwelo kumelwe luboniswe njalo. Abanye ogogo nomkhulu abasaqinile noma abanempilo enhle bafuna ukuzihlalela bodwa lapho beseyimiqemane futhi besanelisekile. Nokho, uma bezihlukanisa ngokuphelele namalungu omkhaya, bangase bathole futhi ukuthi lapho beludinga kakhulu uthando lomzwelo, bangase bangalutholi ngokushesha.

UMichael, umkhulu waseNigeria, unikeza okunye ukusikisela okuwusizo: “Ngisebenzisa uMthetho Wegolide kaJesu—ukwenza kwabanye njengoba ungathanda ukuba benze kuwe. Ngenxa yaleso sizathu izingane zami zingithanda kakhulu. Sikhulumisana kahle kakhulu.” Uyanezela: “Uma abanye babazukulu bami benza okuthile okungangiphathi kahle, ngikhuluma nabo uma kudingekile. Kodwa uma kungokuthile okungasho lutho, ngokuvamile ngimane ngikukhohlwe.”

Izipho ezincane nokubonisa isisa okuvela kogogo nomkhulu kubangela ukusabela okuhle. Amazwi anomusa, akhuthazayo kunokukhononda njalo, enza ukuphila komkhaya kujabulise. Ukuzinikeza isikhathi sokuba nabazukulu, ukubafundisa imidlalo ejabulisayo nemisebenzi emincane ewusizo, ukubatshela izindaba zeBhayibheli noma izindaba zomlando womkhaya, kwakha izinkumbulo ezinhle nezihlala njalo. Izinto ezincane kanjalo kodwa ezibalulekile zenza ukuphila kujabulise kakhulu.

Izinzuzo Zokuhloniphana

“Ogogo nomkhulu,” kusho udokotela uGaspare Vella, “kudingeka baqikelele ukuthi bangamelani noma bancintisane negunya labazali lokukhulisa izingane.” Uyanezela: “Ngaphandle kwalokho, beqa indima yabo yokuba ogogo nomkhulu babe ogogo nomkhulu abangabazali.” Lokhu kusikisela kuvumelana nalokho okushiwo imiBhalo, ukuthi abazali banomthwalo wemfanelo oyinhloko wokuqeqesha izingane zabo.—IzAga 6:20; Kolose 3:20.

Ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ekuphileni, kulula ukuba ogogo nomkhulu banikeze iseluleko. Nokho, kumelwe baqaphele ukuthi banganikezi iseluleko esingadingekile futhi ngezinye izikhathi esingamukeleki. URoy noJean bathi: “Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi abazali banomthwalo wemfanelo oyinhloko wokuqeqesha nokuyala izingane zabo. Ngezinye izikhathi umuntu angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi banesandla esiqine kakhulu futhi kwezinye izimo bayekelela kakhulu. Ngakho kunesidingo sokulwa nesilingo esinamandla sokugxambukela.” UMichael noSheena, abanye ogogo nomkhulu ababili baseBrithani, basekela iphuzu elifanayo: “Uma izingane zidinga iseluleko sethu, siyasinikeza, kodwa asizilindeli ukuba zisamukele, futhi asiphatheki kabi lapho zingasamukeli.” Kuhle ukuba abazali abagugile bawathembe amadodana namadodakazi abo ashadile. Ukuthembana okunjalo kuthuthukisa ubuhlobo phakathi kwalezi zizukulwane ezintathu.

UVivian noJane, abahlala eningizimu yeNgilandi, benza umzamo wokusekela ngazo zonke izikhathi isiyalo esikhishwa indodana nomalokazana kubazukulu babo, abahlala nabo: “Asizami ukubeka eyethu imibono lapho mhlawumbe sinomuzwa ohlukile. Njengoba ziqaphela ukuthi siyabasekela onina noyise, izingane azizami nakancane ‘ukusixabanisa.’” Ngisho nalapho abazali bengekho, ogogo nomkhulu kumelwe baqaphele ngokuyala abazukulu. UHarold, waseBrithani, uthi: “Noma isiphi isiyalo ogogo nomkhulu ababona ukuthi siyadingeka lapho abazali bengekho kufanele ukuba kuxoxwe ngaso kusengaphambili nabazali.” UHarold unezela ukuthi izwi elinomusa, kodwa eliqinile elishiwo kubazukulu noma nje isikhumbuzo “salokho umzali angase akudinge” ngokuvamile sanele.

Lapho uChristopher, umkhulu waseNigeria, ephawula ukushiyeka okuthile kwezingane zakhe, ugwema ukukhuluma ngakho phambi kwabazukulu bakhe: “Nginikeza noma isiphi iseluleko esidingekayo lapho nginabazali kuphela.” Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali kudingeka benze ingxenye yabo ukuze baqikelele ukuthi iyahlonishwa indima yogogo nomkhulu. “Kubalulekile,” kusho uCarlo, ubaba ohlala eRome, e-Italy, “ukuthi ungalokothi ukhononde ngamaphutha ogogo nomkhulu noma awamanye amalungu omkhaya phambi kwezingane.” UHiroko, umama waseJapane, uthi: “Lapho kuphakama inkinga ngabasemzini, ngiqale ngiyixoxe nomyeni wami.”

Indima Yokufundisa Yogogo Nomkhulu

Umkhaya ngamunye unomlando, amasiko, nokuhlangenwe nakho kwawo okuwenza wehluke kweminye. Ngokuvamile, ogogo nomkhulu bangabaxhumanisi bomkhaya nozalo. Ngokwesisho esithile sase-Afrika, “noma imuphi umuntu ogugile ofayo ungumtapo wezincwadi oshayo.” Ogogo nomkhulu badlulisela izinkumbulo zezihlobo nezenzakalo ezibalulekile zomkhaya, kanye nezindinganiso zomkhaya ngokuvamile ezihlanganisa umkhaya ngokujulile. Singasibali iseluleko sokuziphatha esinikezwa iBhayibheli, esinye isazi sathi uma “intsha ingawazi umlando wozalo lwayo, ikhula ingenaso isisekelo solwazi oluyandulelayo, ingenazindinganiso, ingaqiniseki futhi ingalondekile.”—UGaetano Barletta, Nonni e nipoti (Ogogo Nomkhulu Nabazukulu).

Abazukulu bayathanda ukuzwa indaba yangesikhathi umama nobaba nezinye izihlobo besebasha. Ukubuka i-albhamu yezithombe kungaba okufundisayo nokujabulisa kakhulu. Yeka uthando nokufudumala okungaba khona njengoba ogogo nomkhulu belandisa indaba yezenzakalo zesikhathi esidlule njengoba iboniswe ezithombeni.

UReg noMolly, ogogo nomkhulu baseBrithani abangoFakazi BakaJehova, bathi: “Siye sathola injabulo ngokuba nabazukulu nokwenza izinto nabo, ngaphandle kokugxambukela ebuhlotsheni babo obuseduze noyise nonina, siphendula imibuzo yabo eminingi, sidlala ndawonye, sifunda ndawonye, sibafundisa ukubhala, sibalalela befunda, silandelela ngesithakazelo esinothando izifundo zabo zasesikoleni.”

Iphutha elingathi sína ogogo nomkhulu nabazali abaningi abalenzayo ukukhathazeka kuphela ngenhlalakahle engokomzimba yezingane nabazukulu. UReg noMolly, okukhulunywe ngabo ngenhla, bathi: “Ifa elikhulu kunawo wonke esingalinikeza izingane zethu nabazukulu ukuba siqikelele ukuthi bakhuliswa ngolwazi lweqiniso lweZwi likaNkulunkulu.”—Duteronomi 4:9; 32:7; IHubo 48:13; 78:3, 4, 6.

Ukwenza Ngokuvumelana Nokufundisa Kwaphezulu

IBhayibheli Elingcwele, iZwi likaNkulunkulu, “linamandla” kubantu. Liyakwazi ukubasiza balawule noma baqede izici ezihlukanisayo, njengobugovu nokuqhosha. (Heberu 4:12) Ngakho-ke, labo abasebenzisa izimfundiso zalo bajabulela ukuthula nobunye emkhayeni. Omunye wemibhalo eminingi esiza lezi zizukulwane ezintathu ukuba ziqede noma iliphi igebe elingase libe khona phakathi kwazo incwadi yabaseFilipi 2:2-4, ezikhuthaza zonke ukuba zibonise uthando nokuthobeka kwengqondo, zilondoloze ubunye, ‘zinakekela, hhayi ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu izindaba zazo kuphela, kodwa futhi zinakekela ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu nezabanye.’

Ngokuvumelana nokufundisa kwaphezulu, abazali nabazukulu bawuthatha ngokungathi sína umyalo ‘wokuqhubeka bekhokha imbuyiselo abayikweletayo kubazali babo nakubazali babazali babo,’ ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo, ngokomzwelo, nangokomoya. (1 Thimothewu 5:4) Ngokwesaba uJehova okunempilo, babonisa ogogo nomkhulu inhlonipho ejulile, bekhumbula amazwi akhe: “Wosukuma phambi kwempunga, uhloniphe ubuso bomuntu omdala, umesabe uNkulunkulu wakho.” (Levitikusi 19:32) Ogogo nomkhulu babonisa ubuhle ngokusebenzela inhlalakahle yezizukulwane zabo: “Olungileyo ushiyela abantwana babantwana bakhe ifa.”—IzAga 13:22.

Ogogo nomkhulu, abazali, nabazukulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bahlala ndawonye noma cha, bangazuza bonke ebuhlotsheni bothando lomzwelo obusekelwe othandweni nasenhloniphweni, njengoba izAga 17:6 zisho: “Abantwana babantwana bangumqhele wabadala, nodumo lwabantwana lungoyise.”

[Umbhalo waphansi]

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Ukubuthana komkhaya kungaba nengxenye ebunyeni bawo

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Ogogo nomkhulu bakho bayakhuthazeka lapho ubabhalela

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Ukubuka i-albhamu yezithombe zomkhaya nabazukulu bakho kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okuzuzisayo