Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingasondelana Kanjani Nogogo Nomkhulu?

“Bobabili omkhulu bami bathanda ukuxoxa. Izindaba abazixoxayo ziyangisiza ukuba ngiqonde imizwa yami.”—UJoshua.

KWAKE kwaba khona isikhathi lapho kwakuyinto evamile ukuba amalungu omndeni ezizukulwane eziningana ahlale ndawonye—ngokuvamile emzini owodwa. Ukusondelana nogogo nomkhulu kwakuyinto evamile.

Namuhla, intsha ingase ihlale kude nogogo nomkhulu bayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, imikhaya eminingi iqedwa isehlukaniso. I-Toronto Star yabika ukuthi “ogogo nomkhulu nabo bangase babe izisulu zesehlukaniso futhi lokho kubavimbele ukuba babone abazukulu babo ababathandayo.” Kwezinye izimo, inkinga iwukuthi intsha eningi imane nje inombono omubi ngabantu asebekhulile, ibabheka njengabayisidala futhi abanemibono, izimiso nezithakazelo ezihluke kakhulu kwezayo. Uyini umphumela? Intsha eningi ayisondelene nogogo nomkhulu bayo njengoba bekungase kube njalo.

Lokhu kuyadabukisa. Njengoba isihloko esandulele kulolu chungechunge sibonisile, ukusondelana nogogo nomkhulu wakho—ikakhulukazi uma besaba uNkulunkulu—kuhle, kuyazuzisa futhi kumnandi.a Intombazane okuthiwa uRebekah ithi ngogogo nomkhulu wayo: “Sihlala sihleka ndawonye.” Omunye osemusha okuthiwa uPeter naye uthi: “Angesabi ukubatshela indlela engizizwa ngayo nokuthi iyini imigomo yami. Ngezinye izikhathi ngizizwa ngikhululeké kakhulu uma nginabo kunalapho nginabazali bami. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngingaxoxa nogogo nomkhulu nganoma yini.”

Kuthiwani ngawe? Mhlawumbe wawusondelene nogogo nomkhulu ngesikhathi usemncane. Kodwa manje njengoba usukhulakhulile, kungase kube ukuthi awuzange wenze lutho ukuze uthuthukise ubuhlobo benu muva nje. Uma kunjalo, isimiso seseluleko seBhayibheli esikweyesi-2 Korinte 6:11-13 singasebenza kahle lapha, okungukuthi ‘yanuleka’ ngothando lwakho kubo. Umbuzo uwukuthi, Kanjani?

Ukuthatha Isinyathelo Kuqala

‘Ukwanuleka’ kuhilela ukuthatha isinyathelo kuqala. Phela, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ungagodleli abaninikho okuhle, lapho kusemandleni esandla sakho ukukwenza.” (IzAga 3:27) Ngesikhathi usemncane, kungenzeka wawungenawo ‘amandla’ okwenza okuthile ngobuhlobo bakho nogogo nomkhulu. Kodwa manje njengoba usukhulile, mhlawumbe usungena ebudaleni, ungase uthole ukuthi kunezinyathelo eziningana ongazithatha ngokufanelekile.

Ngokwesibonelo, uma ugogo nomkhulu wakho behlala eduze, ungase ukwenze umkhuba ukubavakashela njalo. Kunesidina? Mhlawumbe, uma uzofika uhlale uvale umlomo. Ngakho qala ingxoxo! Ungaxoxa ngani? Isimiso seBhayibheli esikwabaseFilipi 2:4 siwusizo. Lisitshela ukuba ‘sinakekele, hhayi ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu izindaba zethu kuphela, kodwa futhi sinakekela ngesithakazelo somuntu siqu nezabanye.’ Ngamanye amazwi, bonisa isithakazelo kugogo nomkhulu wakho. Benze baxoxe ngezinto abazikhathalelayo. Bazizwa kanjani? Bebenzani? Bangase bakujabulele ukuxoxa ngesikhathi esidlule. Ngakho babuze ukuthi ukuphila kwakunjani ngesikhathi besebasha. Noma ukuthi wayenjani ubaba noma umama wakho eseyingane? Uma ugogo nomkhulu wakho bengamaKristu, babuze ukuthi yini eyabakhanga emaqinisweni eBhayibheli.

Ngokuvamile ogogo nomkhulu bayinqolobane yomlando womkhaya, futhi mhlawumbe bazimisele kakhulu ukukuxoxela izindaba eziningi ezimnandi. Ngempela, ungase ufune nokwenza lesi sikhathi sibe ithuba lokuzijabulisa. Zama ukuba nengxoxo nogogo nomkhulu, mhlawumbe uze ubhale phansi noma ubaqophe ekhasethini elilalelwayo noma le-video. Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi yini ongababuza yona, cela abazali bakho bakusize uhlele imibuzo efanelekayo. Ngokunokwenzeka uyofunda izinto eziningi eziyokwenza ubaqonde kangcono ogogo nomkhulu wakho, abazali bakho ngisho nawe ngokwakho. UJoshua uyalandisa: “Bobabili omkhulu bami bathanda ukuxoxa. Izindaba abazixoxayo ziyangisiza ukuba ngiqonde imizwa yami.”

Kodwa-ke, ungakhohlwa ukuthi ugogo nomkhulu wakho nabo banesithakazelo kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho nasezintweni ozenzayo. Uma ubatshela ukuthi wenzani, ubamema ukuba babe yingxenye yokuphila kwakho. Lokhu kuyonenza nisondelane. Osemusha waseFrance okuthiwa u-Igor uthi: “Mina nogogo sithanda ukuphuza itiye ndawonye ethilomu, sixoxe ngezinto ebesizenza muva nje.”

Yini Esingayenza Ndawonye?

Uma seniqalile ukuxoxa ndawonye, mhlawumbe ningase niqhubeke nenza ezinye izinto ndawonye. Ngokuhlela kahle, ungase uthole zonke izinhlobo zezinto eningazenza ndawonye. UDara osemusha uyakhumbula: “Bobabili ogogo bami baye bangifundisa ukupheka, ukulondoloza ukudla emabhodleleni, ukubhaka, ukutshala nokunakekela ingadi.” U-Amy uye wahlanganyela nogogo wakhe emibuthanweni yomkhaya nasemaholidini. Abanye ogogo nomkhulu basakhuthele, kuye ngokuthi sebebadala kangakanani. U-Aaron uthanda ukudlala igalofu nogogo wakhe. UJoshua uyadoba futhi enze imisebenzi yasendlini nawomkhulu bakhe.

Uma ugogo nomkhulu wakho bengabakhulekeli bakaJehova, ungakujabulela nakakhulu ukuhlanganyela nabo ezicini zokukhulekela uJehova, njengokuxoxa nabanye ngeBhayibheli. U-Igor wahamba nogogo wakhe baya emhlanganweni wezizwe woFakazi BakaJehova ePoland. Uthi: “Into esayenza ndawonye esingasoze sayikhohlwa, futhi sisaxoxa ngakho namanje.” Yiqiniso, akubona bonke ogogo nomkhulu abasakwazi ukuhamba kangaka. Noma kunjalo, kuwufanele umzamo ukuchitha isikhathi nabo.

Ifa Elingokomoya

Ezikhathini zeBhayibheli owesifazane okuthiwa uLowisi wafeza indima ebalulekile ekusizeni umzukulu wakhe, uThimothewu, ukuba abe umuntu kaNkulunkulu ovelele. (2 Thimothewu 1:5) Yingakho nje ogogo nomkhulu abaningi abangamaKristu befeza indima efanayo namuhla. UJoshua uthi ngogogo nomkhulu wakhe: “Baqala ukukhonza uJehova ngingakazalwa, ngakho ngiyabahlonipha kakhulu, hhayi nje njengogogo nomkhulu kodwa futhi njengabagcini bobuqotho.” U-Amy uthi: “Ugogo nomkhulu wami bahlala bethi abeve bekhuthazeka futhi bejabula ukungibona ngikhonza uJehova ngokwethembeka. Kodwa ukubona isibonelo sabo esihle nokushisekela uJehova njengamaphayona [abashumayeli besikhathi esigcwele] kuye kwangikhuthaza ukuba ngiqhubeke nenkonzo yobuphayona.”

UChris ubiza ugogo wakhe ngokuthi “umuntu owangikhuthaza kakhulu ukuba ngitadishe nokuba ngivuthwe.” Uyanezela: “Ngeke ngimkhohlwe lapho ethi ‘kufanele simenzele okungcono kakhulu uJehova.’” Ugogo nomkhulu kaPedro baye bafeza indima ebaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni kwakhe ngokomoya. Uthi: “Ulwazi lwabo luye lwangisiza kakhulu. Ugogo nomkhulu babehamba nami njalo siyoshumayela, futhi ngiyakwazisa kakhulu lokho.” Yebo, ukusondelana nogogo nomkhulu abesaba uNkulunkulu kungakusiza ukuba ukhonze uNkulunkulu ngokugcwele.

Ogogo Nomkhulu Abahlala Kude

Kuthiwani uma ugogo nomkhulu wakho behlala kude? Uma kungenzeka, zama ukubavakashela njalo. Phakathi nesikhathi lapho ningabonani, yenza ongakwenza ukuze nihlale nixhumana. UHornan ubona ugogo nomkhulu wakhe kathathu ngonyaka, kodwa uthi: “Ngibashayela ucingo njalo ngeSonto.” UDara, naye ohlala kude nogogo nomkhulu wakhe, uthi: “Banesithakazelo ekuphileni kwami, futhi sishayelana ucingo noma sibhalelane nge-E-mail cishe njalo ngesonto.” Ukubhalelana nge-E-mail nokushayelana ucingo kuyafaneleka, kodwa ungayibukeli phansi indlela endala yokubhala incwadi ngesandla. Intsha eningi iye yamangala ukuthola ukuthi ogogo nomkhulu bayo baye babeka zonke izincwadi eye yazibhala kusukela iseyizingane. Izincwadi zingafundwa ziphinde zifundwe—futhi zaziswe. Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi uyabhala!

Ngokuvamile ugogo nomkhulu babathanda ngokukhethekile abazukulu babo. (IzAga 17:6) Ziningi izindlela zokwakha nokulondoloza ubuhlobo obuseduze nogogo nomkhulu wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bahlala eduze noma kude. Siza wenze umzamo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]