Ukwembula Izimbangela Zenkulumo Echaphayo
“Umlomo ukhuluma ngokuchichima kwenhliziyo.”
EMINYAKENI engaba izinkulungwane ezimbili edlule, uJesu Kristu washo amazwi angenhla. Yebo, amazwi omuntu ngokuvamile aveza imizwa nezisusa zakhe ezijulile. Angase abe atusekayo. (IzAga 16:23) Ngakolunye uhlangothi, angase akhohlise.—Mathewu 15:19.
Owesifazane othile wathi ngomyeni wakhe: “Kubonakala sengathi uvele athukuthele, futhi ukuhlala naye ngokuvamile kufana nokuhamba endaweni enamabhomu agqitshiwe—awazi ukuthi yini ezobangela ukuqhuma.” URichard uchaza isimo esifanayo ngomkakhe. Uthi: “ULydia uhlala elungele ukulwa. Akakhulumi kahle; uvele akhace ngendlela ehlabayo, angikhombe ngomunwe njengokungathi ngiyingane.”
Yiqiniso, izimpikiswano zingaphakama ngisho nasemshadweni omuhle, futhi wonke amadoda nabafazi basho izinto abaye bazisole ngazo kamuva. (Jakobe 3:2) Kodwa inkulumo echaphayo emshadweni ingaphezu kwalokho; ihlanganisa nenkulumo elulazayo negxekayo ehloselwe ukubusa, noma ukulawula umngane womshado. Ngezinye izikhathi, inkulumo elimazayo ifihlwa ngesembozo sobumnene. Ngokwesibonelo, umhubi uDavide wachaza indoda ethile eyayimnene, kodwa iyimbi ngaphakathi: “Umlomo wakhe ubushelezi kunephehlwa, kepha inhliziyo yakhe iyimpi; amazwi akhe athambile kunamafutha; nokho ayizinkemba ezikhokhiweyo.” (IHubo 55:21; IzAga 26:24, 25) Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ibonakaliswa njengenzondo esobala noma esithekile, inkulumo enokhahlo ingawuwohloza umshado.
Indlela Eqala Ngayo
Yini eyenza umuntu asebenzise inkulumo echaphayo? Ngokuvamile, ukusebenzisa inkulumo enjalo kungabangelwa yilokho umuntu akubonayo nakuzwayo. Emazweni amaningi ukubhinqa, ukuthuka, nokululaza kubhekwa njengokwamukelekayo nokuhlekisayo.a Amadoda ikakhulukazi angase athonywe imithombo yezindaba, ngokuvamile eye yaveza amadoda “angempela” njengacindezelayo nanolaka.
Ngokufanayo, abaningi abasebenzisa inkulumo elulazayo bakhulela emakhaya lapho intukuthelo yomzali, inzondo, nokugcona kwakubonakaliswa khona njalo. Ngakho, kusukela besebancane, bafunda ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha kulungile.
Ingane ekhulela esimweni esinjalo ingase ifunde okungaphezu komkhuba wenkulumo; ingase futhi ibe nombono ohlanekezelwe ngayo nangabanye abantu. Ngokwesibonelo, uma ingane ikhulunyiswa ngokhahlo, ingase ikhule izizwa ingelutho, ithambekele ngisho nasekubeni nolaka. Kodwa kuthiwani uma ingane imane izwa uyise ekhaca unina? Ngisho noma leyo ngane isencane, ingase yamukele ukweya kukayise abesifazane. Umfana angase afunde ekuziphatheni kukayise ukuthi indoda kufanele ilawule abesifazane nokuthi indlela yokuthola lawo mandla iwukubesabisa noma ukubalimaza.
Umzali othukuthelayo angase akhulise ingane ethukuthelayo, nayo engase ikhule ibe “inkosi yentukuthelo” eyenza ‘iziphambeko eziningi.’ (IzAga 29:22, umbhalo waphansi we-NW) Ngakho ifa lenkulumo elimazayo lingadluliselwa ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Ngesizathu esihle, uPawulu waluleka obaba: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu.” (Kolose 3:21) Ngokuphawulekayo, igama lesiGreki elihunyushwe ngokuthi “thukuthelisa,” ngokwe-Theological Lexicon of the New Testament, lingaba nomqondo “wokuhlelela nokuhlomela impi.”
Yiqiniso, ithonya labazali alizona izaba zokukhaca abanye, ngamazwi noma ngenye indlela; kodwa liyasiza ekuchazeni indlela ukuthambekela enkulumweni enokhahlo okungagxila ngokujulile ngayo. Insizwa ingase ingamxhaphazi ngokomzimba umkayo, kodwa ingabe iyamxhaphaza ngamazwi nangemizwelo yayo? Ukuzihlola kungase kwembulele umuntu ukuthi wamukele ukweya kukayise abesifazane.
Ngokusobala, izimiso ezingenhla zingasebenza nakwabesifazane. Uma umama exhaphaza umyeni wakhe ngamazwi, indodakazi ingase iphathe umyeni wayo ngendlela efanayo lapho isishadile. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Kungcono ukuhlala ogwadule, kunokuhlala nowesifazane onolimi oluhlabayo nentukuthelo.” (IzAga 21:19, The Bible in Basic English) Noma kunjalo, indoda ikakhulukazi kufanele iqaphele kulendaba. Ngani?
Amandla Abacindezeli
Ngokuvamile indoda inamandla kakhulu emshadweni kunomfazi. Cishe njalo inamandla amakhudlwana ngokomzimba, okwenza noma iziphi izinsongo zokulimaza ngokomzimba zesabise kakhulu.b Ngaphezu kwalokho, indoda ngokuvamile inamakhono emisebenzi angcono, amakhono okuziphilisa azimele, nezinzuzo ezinkulu ngokwezimali. Ngenxa yalokhu, owesifazane ochashwayo angase azizwe evalelekile futhi ekhungathekile. Angase avumelane namazwi eNkosi uSolomoni ehlakaniphile: “Ngase ngibuye ngabona konke ukucindezela okwenziwa phansi kwelanga; bheka izinyembezi zabacindezelwayo; babengenamduduzi. Ohlangothini lwababacindezelayo kwakukhona amandla, kepha bona babengenamduduzi.”—UmShumayeli 4:1.
Umfazi angase adideke uma umyeni wakhe enemizwelo eshintshashintshayo—emnene manje, kodwa agxeke kamuva. (Qhathanisa noJakobe 3:10.) Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma umyeni wakhe engumnakekeli omuhle ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo, umfazi oyisisulu sokukhacwa angase azizwe enecala ngokucabanga ukuthi kukhona okonakele emshadweni. Angase azibeke ngisho necala ngokuziphatha komyeni wakhe. “Njengowesifazane owayeshaywa,” kuvuma owesifazane othile, “ngangihlale ngicabanga ukuthi kwakubangelwa yimina.” Omunye wesifazane uthi: “Ngenziwa ngakholelwa ukuthi uma nje ngingazama ngamandla ukumqonda futhi ‘ngibe nesineke’ ngangizoba nokuthula.” Ngokudabukisayo, ngokuvamile ukuphathwa kabi kuyaqhubeka.
Kuyadabukisa ngempela ukuthi amadoda amaningi awasebenzisa kabi amandla awo ngokubusa abesifazane okungenzeka enza isifungo sokubathanda nokubazisa. (Genesise 3:16) Kodwa yini engenziwa ngalesi simo? “Angifuni ukuhamba,” kusho owesifazane othile, “ngifuna nje ukuba ayeke ukungixhaphaza.” Ngemva kweminyaka engu-9 ishadile, indoda ethile iyavuma: “Ngiyaqaphela ukuthi ngisebuhlotsheni obugcwele ukukhaca nokuthi yimina engikubangelayo. Ngokuqinisekile ngifuna ukushintsha, hhayi ukushiya umkami.”
Lukhona usizo kulabo imishado yabo eye yaphazanyiswa inkulumo elimazayo, njengoba isihloko esilandelayo sizobonisa.
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Ngokusobala, kwakunjalo nasekhulwini lokuqala. I-New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology iphawula ukuthi “kumaGreki kwakungobunye bobuciko bokuphila ukwazi indlela yokugcona abanye noma ukumelana nakho.”
b Ukhahlo lungase lubangele ubudlova basekhaya. (Qhathanisa no-Eksodusi 21:18.) Umeluleki othile wabesifazane abashaywayo uthi: “Bonke abesifazane abafuna isivikelo esingokomthetho ekushayweni, ekugwazweni, noma ekuklinyweni okusongela ukuphila kwabo bake baba nomlando omude nobuhlungu wokuxhashazwa okungekhona okungokomzimba.”
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 6]
Ngokudabukisayo, amadoda amaningi awasebenzisa kabi amandla awo ngokubusa abesifazane okungenzeka enza isifungo sokubathanda nokubazisa
[Isithombe ekhasini 7]
Ingane ithonywa indlela abazali bayo abaphathana ngayo