Ukuyeka Amazwi Alimazayo Usebenzise Amazwi Aphilisayo

“Ukufa nokuphila kusemandleni olimi.”

—IZAGA 18:21.

UKUTHUKA—umkhuba wangamabomu wokusebenzisa inkulumo egconayo, echaphayo—kulahlwa ngokuqondile eBhayibhelini. Ngaphansi koMthetho kaMose, umuntu othuka abazali bakhe wayengathola isijeziso sokufa. (Eksodusi 21:17) Ngakho, uJehova uNkulunkulu akayithathi kalula lendaba. IZwi lakhe, iBhayibheli, aliwusekeli umbono wokuthi noma yini eyenzeka ‘ngasese’ ayibalulekile uma nje umuntu ethi ukhonza uNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli lithi: “Uma noma ubani ezibona sengathi ungumkhulekeli oqotho, kodwa nokho engalulawuli ulimi lwakhe ngokungathi ngetomu, kodwa eqhubeka ekhohlisa inhliziyo yakhe siqu, indlela yalomuntu yokukhulekela iyize.” (Jakobe 1:26; IHubo 15:1, 3) Ngakho uma indoda ikhaca umkayo, yonke eminye imisebenzi yayo yobuKristu ingaba yize kuNkulunkulu.a—1 Korinte 13:1-3.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, umKristu oyisithuki angaxoshwa ebandleni. Angalahlekelwa ngisho nayizibusiso zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu. (1 Korinte 5:11; 6:9, 10) Ngokusobala, umuntu olimazayo ngamazwi akhe kudingeka enze ushintsho olukhulu. Kodwa lokhu kungenziwa kanjani?

Ukwembula Inkinga

Ngokusobala, umxhaphazi ngeke ashintshe uma engaqondi ukuthi unenkinga engathi sína. Ngeshwa, njengoba umeluleki othile aphawula, amadoda amaningi asebenzisa inkulumo echaphayo “awakubheki neze njengokuxhaphaza ukuziphatha kwawo. Kulamadoda, izenzo ezinjalo zilungile futhi ziyindlela ‘engokwemvelo’ amadoda asebenzelana ngayo nabesifazane.” Ngakho, amaningi ngeke asibone isidingo sokushintsha kuze kube yilapho eqasheliswa lesi simo ngokuqondile.

Ngokuvamile, ngemva kokuhlaziya isimo sakhe ngomthandazo, umfazi uyozizwa eshukumiseleka ukuba akhulume—ngenxa yenhlalakahle yakhe neyezingane zakhe nangenxa yokukhathalela ukuma komyeni wakhe noNkulunkulu. Yiqiniso, kuhlala kunethuba lokuthi ukukhuluma kungase kwenze isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu futhi amazwi akhe aphikiswe. Mhlawumbe umfazi angakugwema lokhu ngokucabangisisa kusengaphambili indlela angayethula ngayo indaba. “Izwi elikhulunywayo ngesikhathi esiyiso linjengama-apula asezitsheni zesiliva,” kusho iBhayibheli. (IzAga 25:11) Indlela emnene kodwa engagwegwesi ngesikhathi esizolile ingase ifinyelele inhliziyo yendoda.—IzAga 15:1.

Kunokuba asole indoda, umfazi kufanele azame ukuveza umbono wakhe ngendlela inkulumo elimazayo emthinta ngayo. Amazwi athi “Mina ngi-” ngokuvamile asebenza kangcono. Ngokwesibonelo, ‘Ngizwa ubuhlungu ngoba . . .’ noma ‘Ngiphatheka kabi lapho uthi kimi . . .’ Amazwi anjalo cishe angayifinyelela inhliziyo, ngoba ahlasela inkinga kunokuba ahlasele umuntu.—Qhathanisa noGenesise 27:46–28:1.

Ukungenela komfazi okuqinile kodwa okunesu kungaba nemiphumela emihle. (Qhathanisa neHubo 141:5.) Kwaba njalo endodeni esizoyibiza ngokuthi uSteven. Ithi: “Umkami waqaphela ukuthi nginokuthambekela kokuxhaphaza engangingakuqapheli, futhi waba nesibindi sokungitshela ngakho.”

Ukuthola Usizo

Kodwa umfazi angenzani uma umyeni wakhe engafuni ukuvuma inkinga? Kuleli qophelo abanye abafazi bafuna usizo lwangaphandle. Ezikhathini ezicindezela njengalezi, oFakazi BakaJehova bangaya kubadala bebandla labo. IBhayibheli liyala lamadoda ukuba abe nothando nomusa lapho elusa umhlambi kaNkulunkulu ongokomoya, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo, ‘asole labo abaphikisa’ imfundiso enempilo yeZwi likaNkulunkulu. (Thithu 1:9; 1 Petru 5:1-3) Nakuba kungekhona okwabo ukugxambukela ezindabeni zemibhangqwana eshadile, abadala bakhathazeka ngokufanelekile lapho umngane womshado ekhathazwa inkulumo enokhahlo yomunye. (IzAga 21:13) Njengoba enamathela ngokuqinile ezindinganisweni zeBhayibheli, lamadoda awathetheleli noma alulaze inkulumo echaphayo.b

Abadala bangase bakwazi ukukhuthaza ukukhulumisana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Ngokwesibonelo, owesifazane othile waya komunye umdala wamtshela ukuthi umyeni wakhe, ongumkhulekeli kanye naye, sekuyiminyaka eminingi emkhaca. Lomdala wahlela ukuba abonane nabo bobabili. Lapho ngamunye wabo ekhuluma, lomdala wacela ukuba omunye alalele ngaphandle kokuphazamisa. Lapho sekuyithuba lomfazi, wathi wayengasakwazi ukubekezelela ulaka lwentukuthelo yomyeni wakhe. Wachaza ukuthi sekuyiminyaka eminingi esaba njalo ekupheleni kosuku ngalunye, engazi ukuthi umyeni wakhe uzofika ekhaya ethukuthele yini noma cha. Lapho umyeni wakhe ebhavumula ngolaka, wayesho izinto ezilulazayo ngabasekhweni lakhe, abangane bakhe, ngisho nangaye umkakhe uqobo.

Lomdala wacela lona wesifazane ukuba achaze indlela amazwi omyeni wakhe ayemenza azizwe ngayo. Waphendula: “Ngazizwa sengathi ngingumuntu omubi ongathandwa muntu. Ngezinye izikhathi ngangibuza umama, ‘Mama, ingabe ngingumuntu okunzima ukuhlala naye? Ingabe nginesigcwagcwa?’” Njengoba ayechaza indlela amazwi omyeni wakhe ayemenza azizwe ngayo, umyeni wakhe waqala ukukhala. Ngokokuqala ngqá, wabona ukuthi wayemlimaza ngokujule kangakanani umkakhe ngamazwi akhe.

Ungashintsha

Amanye amaKristu ekhulwini lokuqala ayenenkinga ngenkulumo echaphayo. Umphostoli ongumKristu uPawulu wawayala ukuba alahle “ulaka, intukuthelo, ububi, inkulumo echaphayo, nokukhuluma okuyichilo.” (Kolose 3:8) Nokho, inkulumo enokhahlo iyinkinga yenhliziyo hhayi eyolimi. (Luka 6:45) Yingakho uPawulu anezela: “Hlubulani ubuntu obudala nemikhuba yabo, futhi nigqoke ubuntu obusha.” (Kolose 3:9, 10) Ngakho ukushintsha akuhileli kuphela ukukhuluma ngendlela ehlukile kodwa kuhilela nokuzizwa ngendlela ehlukile.

Indoda esebenzisa inkulumo elimazayo ingase idinge usizo ukuze ithole ukuthi yini ngempela ebangela lokhu kuziphatha.c Iyofuna ukuba nesimo sengqondo somhubi: “[Ngihlole], Nkulunkulu, wazi inhliziyo yami; ngilinge, wazi imicabango yami, ubone, uma kukhona indlela yosizi kimi.” (IHubo 139:23, 24) Ngokwesibonelo: Kungani inomuzwa wokubusa, noma ukulawula umngane wayo womshado? Yini ebangela ukukhaca? Ingabe ukuhlasela kwayo kuwuphawu lokweya okujulile? (IzAga 15:18) Ingabe inemizwa yokungabi utho, mhlawumbe ebangelwa ukukhuliswa ngenkulumo egxekayo? Imibuzo enjalo ingasiza indoda ukuba yembule izimbangela zokuziphatha kwayo.

Nokho, kunzima ukuqeda inkulumo echaphayo, ikakhulukazi uma iye yagxiliswa abazali ababegxeka bona ngokwabo noma isiko elikhuthaza ukubusa abanye. Kodwa noma yini efundwayo—ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nangomzamo—ingayekwa. IBhayibheli liwusizo olukhulu kulendaba. Lingasiza umuntu ukuba agumbuqele ngisho nokuziphatha okugxilile. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Korinte 10:4, 5.) Kanjani?

Umbono Ofanele Ngezindima Ezabelwe UNkulunkulu

Ngokuvamile, amadoda anamazwi alimazayo anombono ohlanekezelwe ngezindima uNkulunkulu azabele indoda nomfazi. Ngokwesibonelo, umlobi weBhayibheli uPawulu uthi abafazi kufanele ‘bazithobe kubayeni babo’ nokuthi “indoda iyinhloko yomkayo.” (Efesu 5:22, 23) Indoda ingase ibe nomuzwa wokuthi ubunhloko buyinikeza amandla okulawula ngokuphelele. Kodwa akunjalo. Umkayo, nakuba ezithoba, akasona isigqila sayo. ‘Ungumsizi’ futhi ‘ungumphelelisi.’ (Genesise 2:18, qhathanisa ne-NW.) Ngakho, uPawulu uyanezela: “Amadoda kufanele abe athanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo siqu. Lowo othanda umkakhe uzithanda yena, ngoba akekho umuntu owake wazonda inyama yakhe siqu; kodwa uyayondla futhi ayinakekele ngesisa, njengoba noKristu enza kulo ibandla.”—Efesu 5:28, 29.

Njengenhloko yebandla lobuKristu, uJesu akazange abathethise abalandeli bakhe, basale bezibuza ukuthi ukugxeka kwakhe okulandelayo kuyoqubuka nini. Kunalokho, wayemnene, ngaleyo ndlela elondoloza isithunzi sabo. Wabathembisa: “Ngizonenza niqabuleke. Nginomoya omnene futhi ngithobekile ngenhliziyo.” (Mathewu 11:28, 29) Ukuzindla ngomthandazo ngendlela uJesu abusebenzisa ngayo ubunhloko bakhe kungasiza indoda ukuba ibheke ubunhloko bayo ngombono onokulinganisela.

Lapho Kuphakama Izingxabano

Ukwazi izimiso zeBhayibheli kungenye into; ukuzisebenzisa lapho ungaphansi kokucindezeleka kuyinto ehluke ngokuphelele. Lapho kuphakama izingxabano, indoda ingakugwema kanjani ukuphindela emkhubeni wenkulumo enokhahlo?

Akulona uphawu lobudoda ukuba indoda ibe nokhahlo lapho ithukuthele. IBhayibheli lithi: “Owephuza ukuthukuthela muhle kuneqhawe, nobusa umoya wakhe kunonqoba umuzi.” (IzAga 16:32) Indoda yangempela iyawulawula umoya wayo. Ibonisa ububele ngokuzibuza: ‘Amazwi ami amthinta kanjani umkami? Mina bengingazizwa kanjani ukuba bengisesimweni sakhe?’—Qhathanisa noMathewu 7:12.

Nokho, iBhayibheli liyavuma ukuthi ezinye izimo zingabangela intukuthelo. Ngokuphathelene nezimo ezinjalo umhubi wabhala: “Thukuthelani ningoni; zindlani enhliziyweni yenu okhukhweni lwenu, nithule.” (IHubo 4:4) Kuye kwabekwa futhi nangalendlela: “Akukho okungalungile ngokuthukuthela, kodwa akulungile ukukhaca ngokubhinqa, ngokululaza noma ngokujivaza.”

Uma indoda inomuzwa wokuthi iyahluleka ukulawula amazwi ayo, ingafunda ukuhlaba ikhefu. Mhlawumbe kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukuphuma endlini, ithi ukushaywa umoya, noma ithole indawo ngasese yokwehlisa igwebu. IzAga 17:14 zithi: “Yeka inkani, ingakashisi.” Qala ingxoxo futhi lapho igwebu selehlile.

Yiqiniso, akekho ophelele. Indoda eke yaba nenkinga ngenkulumo enokhahlo ingase ishiyeke futhi. Lapho lokhu kwenzeka, kufanele ixolise. Ukugqoka “ubuntu obusha” kuyinqubo eqhubekayo, kodwa enemivuzo emikhulu.—Kolose 3:10.

Amazwi Aphilisayo

Yebo, “ukufa nokuphila kusemandleni olimi.” (IzAga 18:21) Inkulumo elimazayo kumelwe ithathelwe isikhundla amazwi akhayo naqinisa umshado. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Amazwi amahle anjengamakhekheba oju; amnandi emphefumulweni, ayimpiliso emathanjeni.”—IzAga 16:24.

Eminyakeni ethile edlule, kwenziwa ukuhlola ukuze kutholwe ukuthi yiziphi izici ezibangela ukuba imikhaya eqinile isebenze ngokuphumelelayo. “Lokhu kuhlola kwathola ukuthi amalungu alemikhaya ayathandana, futhi ayetshelana njalo ukuthi ayathandana,” kubika uchwepheshe kwezemishado uDavid R. Mace. “Ayeqinisekisana, enikezana umuzwa wokubaluleka ngokomuntu siqu, futhi esebenzisa wonke amathuba avelayo ukuze akhulume futhi enze ngendlela yothando. Ngokuvamile umphumela waba ukuthi ayejabulela ukuba ndawonye futhi eqinisana ngezindlela ezazenza ubuhlobo bawo banelise kakhulu.”

Ayikho indoda esaba uNkulunkulu engasho ngempela ukuthi ithanda umkayo uma imlimaza ngamabomu ngamazwi ayo. (Kolose 3:19) Yiqiniso, bekuyoba iqiniso elifanayo ngomfazi okhaca umyeni wakhe. Ngempela, kuyisibopho sabo bobabili abangane bomshado ukulandela umyalo kaPawulu kwabase-Efesu: “Makungaphumi lizwi elibolile emlonyeni wenu, kodwa noma yiliphi izwi elihle ekwakheni kuye ngokwesidingo, ukuze lidlulisele okuhle kwabezwayo.”—Efesu 4:29.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 9]

Umdala ongumKristu angase akwazi ukusiza umbhangqwana ukuba ukhulumisane

[Isithombe ekhasini 10]

Amadoda nabafazi kufanele benze umzamo wangempela wokuba baqondane