Ukubekezela—Ukusuka Ohlangothini Olweqisayo Ukuya Kolunye
UBUHLE bezwe laseVale of Kashmir bashukumisela isazi esithile sefilosofi sekhulu le-16 ukuba sibabaze: “Uma likhona ipharadesi, lilapha!” Ngokusobala, sasingazi ukuthi kwakuyokwenzekani kamuva kuleyo ngxenye yezwe. Phakathi naleminyaka emihlanu edlule, kuye kwabulawa okungenani abantu abangu-20 000 lapho empini ephakathi kweqembu elishisekela ukuhlukana neButho Lezempi LaseNdiya. Iphephandaba laseJalimane i-Süddeutsche Zeitung manje lichaza lesi sifunda ngokuthi “isigodi sezinyembezi.” IVale of Kashmir inikeza isifundo esilula kodwa esiyigugu: Ukungabekezeli kungabhubhisa indawo ebingaba yipharadesi.
Kusho ukuthini ukuba obekezelayo? Ngokwe-Collins Cobuild English Language Dictionary, “uma ubekezela, uvumela abanye abantu ukuba babe nemibono yabo noma izinkolelo zabo siqu, noma ukuba baziphathe ngendlela ethile, ngisho noma ungavumelani nakho noma ungakwamukeli.” Yeka ukuthi kuhle kanjani ukubonisa lemfanelo! Ngokuqinisekile sizizwa sikhululekile lapho sinabantu abazihloniphayo izinkolelo nemibono yethu, ngisho noma zingefani nezabo.
Ukusuka Ekubekezeleni Kuya Ekubeni Ntamo Lukhuni
Igama eliphikisana nelithi ukubekezela elithi ukungabekezeli, okuyigama elinemiqondo eminingana. Ukungabekezeli kungase kuqale ngokuba nomqondo ovalekile ongakwamukeli ukuziphatha komunye umuntu noma indlela yakhe yokwenza izinto. Ukuba nomqondo ovalekile kuqeda injabulo ekuphileni futhi kwenza ingqondo yomuntu ingayamukeli imibono emisha.
Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu onesandla esiqine ngokweqile angase ethuke lapho umntwana ebonisa umdlandla. Umuntu osemusha angase abe nesithukuthezi ngenxa yokucabanga komuntu omdala kunaye. Uma umuntu ocophelelayo engasebenza ndawonye nomuntu oyidelangozi, bangase bacasuke bobabili. Kubangelwa yini lokho kwethuka, ukuba nesithukuthezi nokucasuka? Ngenxa yokuthi, esimweni ngasinye, umuntu ukuthola kunzima ukubekezelela imibono nokuziphatha komunye.
Lapho kunokungabekezeli, ukuba nomqondo ovalekile kungaphenduka ubandlululo, okuwukunengwa iqembu elithile, uhlanga, noma inkolo. Okubi nakakhulu kunobandlululo ukuba ntamo lukhuni, okungazibonakalisa ngenzondo enobudlova. Umphumela uwusizi nokuchithwa kwegazi. Cabanga ngalokho okwabangelwa ukungabekezeli phakathi neziMpi Zenkolo! Ngisho nanamuhla, ukungabekezeli kuyimbangela yezingxabano eBosnia, eRwanda naseMpumalanga Ephakathi.
Ukubekezela kudinga ukulinganisela, futhi ukulinganisela ngendlela efanele akulula. Sinjengoginqigonqo, siya ngapha nangapha. Ngezinye izikhathi, asibekezeli; ngezinye izikhathi, sibekezela kakhulu.
Ukusuka Ekubekezeleni Kuya Ekuziphatheni Okubi
Ingabe kungenzeka ukuba ubekezele ngokweqile? ILungu Lesigele sase-United States uDan Coats, likhuluma ngo-1993, lachaza “impikiswano phakathi kwencazelo nokukwenza umkhuba ukubekezela.” Lalisho ukuthini? Leli lungu lesigele lakhala ngokuthi ngenxa yokubekezela, abanye “bayeka ukukholelwa eqinisweni lokuziphatha okuhle—ebuhleni nasebubini, kokulungile nakokungalungile.” Abantu abanjalo banomuzwa wokuthi umphakathi awunalungelo lokwahlulela ukuthi yikuphi okuwukuziphatha okuhle nokuwukuziphatha okubi.
Ngo-1990, isazi sezombangazwe saseBrithani uLord Hailsham sabhala ukuthi “isitha sokuziphatha okuhle esiyingozi kunazo zonke akukhona ukungakholelwa ebukhoneni bukaNkulunkulu, ukuthi uNkulunkulu akaziwa, ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo, ukuhaha noma ezinye izimbangela ezamukelekayo. Isitha sangempela sokuziphatha okuhle ukungakholelwa yilutho.” Ngokusobala, uma singakholelwa yilutho, asinazo izindinganiso zokuziphatha okufanele futhi yonke into ingabekezelelwa. Kodwa ingabe kufanele ukubekezelela noma yikuphi ukuziphatha?
Uthisha-nhloko wesikole esithile saseDenmark wayengacabangi kanjalo. Wabhala isihloko esithile sephephandaba ekuqaleni kwawo-1970, ekhononda ngezikhangiso zezithombe zobulili ezingcolile emaphephandabeni ezazibonisa ubuhlobo bobulili phakathi kwezilwane nabantu. Lezi zikhangiso zazivunyelwe ngenxa ‘yokubekezela’ kwaseDenmark.
Ngokusobala, izinkinga aziphakami ngenxa yokungabekezeli nje kuphela kodwa futhi nangenxa yokubekezela ngokweqile. Kungani kunzima ukugwema ukweqisa futhi sibekezele ngendlela efanele? Siza ufunde isihloko esilandelayo.
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Ukusabela ngokweqile emaphutheni ezingane kungazilimaza
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Ukubekezelela yonke into eyenziwa izingane ngeke kuzihlomisele imithwalo yemfanelo yokuphila