Abazali Babhekene Nezingcindezi
ABAZALI abaqalayo ukuthola umntwana ngokuvamile babonakala bechichima injabulo. Cishe konke okwenziwa umntwana wabo kubonakala kubahlaba umxhwele. Ukumamatheka komntwana kokuqala, amazwi okuqala nokuqala kwakhe ukucathula kuyizenzakalo eziphawulekayo. Batshela abangane nezihlobo izindaba eziningi bababonise nezithombe. Ngokusobala, bayamthanda umntwana wabo.
Nokho, kweminye imikhaya kuphakama inkinga njengoba iminyaka idlula. Ukuteketisa kwabazali kuphenduka amazwi anokhahlo nonya; ukwanga ngothando kuphenduka amagalelo entukuthelo noma ukungathintani nhlobo; ukuziqhenya kwabazali kuphenduka ulaka. Abaningi bathi: “Bekungafanele ngibe nabantwana.” Kweminye imikhaya lenkinga inkulu nakakhulu—abazali abazange balubonise uthando ngisho nalapho umntwana ayesemncane! Noma yikuphi kulezi zimo, inkinga ikuphi? Luphelelephi uthando?
Yiqiniso, abantwana abakwazi ukuthola izimpendulo zemibuzo enjalo. Kodwa lokho akubavimbeli ekufinyeleleni iziphetho zabo siqu. Ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, umntwana angase aphethe ngokuthi, ‘Uma umama noma ubaba bengangithandi, kungenxa yokuthi kukhona okungalungile ngami. Kumelwe ukuthi ngimubi kakhulu.’ Lokhu kungaba inkolelo egxilile—engabangela umonakalo omkhulu kukho konke ukuphila.
Nokho, iqiniso liwukuthi abazali bangase bahluleke ukubonisa abantwana uthando abaludingayo ngenxa yezizathu eziningi. Kumelwe sivume ukuthi namuhla abazali babhekana nezingcindezi ezinkulu, ezinye ezingathwaleki. Kubazali abangakulungele ukubhekana nazo ngendlela efanele, lezi zingcindezi zingakuphazamisa kakhulu ukuba kwabo abazali. Isisho sasendulo esihlakaniphile sithi: “Ukucindezela kuyamhlanyisa ohlakaniphileyo.”—UmShumayeli 7:7.
“Izikhathi Ezibucayi Okunzima Ukubhekana Nazo”
Inkathi yokuchuma nenjabulo. Yilokho abantu abaningi abebelindele ukukubona kuleli khulu leminyaka. Ake ucabange—zingasekho izinkinga zezomnotho, indlala, isomiso nezimpi! Kodwa amathemba anjalo awazange agcwaliseke. Kunalokho, izwe lanamuhla liye laba ngendlela umlobi weBhayibheli aprofetha ngayo emuva ekhulwini lokuqala C.E. Wabhala ukuthi ezinsukwini zethu sasiyobhekana ‘nezikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo.’ (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) Abazali abaningi bangavumelana nalawo mazwi ngaphandle kokunqikaza.
Abazali abaningi abaqalayo ukuthola abantwana bazithola bekhungathekile ngenxa yezindleko eziphakeme zokukhulisa abantwana ezweni lanamuhla. Ngokuvamile, bobabili abazali kumelwe basebenze ukuze baqhubeke beziphilisa. Izindleko zezokwelapha, izingubo zokugqoka, isikole, inkulisa, ngisho nokudla nendawo yokufihla ikhanda kungabangela izindleko eziphakeme zanyanga zonke ezishiya abazali abaningi benomuzwa wokukhungatheka. Lesi simo sezomnotho sikhumbuza abafundi beBhayibheli isiprofetho sesAmbulo esabikezela isikhathi lapho abantu babeyochitha khona umholo wosuku lonke ukuze nje bathole izidingo zosuku olulodwa!—IsAmbulo 6:6.
Akunakulindeleka ukuba abantwana baqonde zonke lezi zingcindezi abazali babo ababhekana nazo. Ngokwemvelo, abantwana badinga uthando nokunakwa. Futhi ukucindezela kwemithombo yezindaba nezingane abafunda nazo esikoleni ukuba babe namathoyizi, izingubo zokugqoka nemishini yamuva ngokuvamile kucindezela abazali ukuba banakekele izidingo ezanda ngokuqhubekayo.
Okunye okucindezela abazali, okubonakala kudlanga kulezi zinsuku, ukuvukela. Ngokuthakazelisayo, iBhayibheli laprofetha ngokwanda kokungalaleli kwabantwana abazali babo njengesinye isibonakaliso sezikhathi zethu ezinezinkathazo. (2 Thimothewu 3:2) Yiqiniso, izinkinga ekuyaleni abantwana azizintsha. Futhi akekho umzali ongasho ngokufanele ukuthi ukuxhaphaza ingane kubangelwa ukuganga kwayo. Kodwa awunakuvuma yini ukuthi abazali namuhla kumelwe babhekane nokukhulisa abantwana esimweni esinokuvukela ngokuphelele? Umculo othandwayo okhuthaza intukuthelo, ukuvukela nokuphelelwa ithemba; izinhlelo ze-TV eziveza abazali njengeziwula ezishiyekayo nabantwana njengezingqongqo ezihlakaniphile; izithombe zebhayisikobho ezikhuthaza ukuhluthuka—lokhu kungamathonya abantwana ababhekana nawo namuhla. Abantwana abamukela futhi balingise lokhu kuthambekela kokuvukela bangabangela abazali babo ukucindezeleka okukhulu.
“Abangenakho Ukusondelana Ngokomzwelo Okungokwemvelo”
Nokho, kunesinye isici salesi siprofetho sasendulo esibikezela izinkinga ezinkulu ngisho nakakhulu emkhayeni namuhla. Sibonisa ukuthi abantu abaningi babeyoba “abangenakho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo.” (2 Thimothewu 3:3) Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo yikona okwenza umkhaya ubumbane. Ngisho nalabo abasingabazayo isiprofetho seBhayibheli kumelwe bavume ukuthi ezikhathini zethu ukuphila komkhaya kuye kwawohloka ngendlela eshaqisayo. Kuwo wonke umhlaba, amazinga esehlukaniso aye enyuka. Emiphakathini eminingi, imikhaya enomzali oyedwa nemikhaya enosingamzali ivame kakhulu kunemikhaya evamile. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali abangabodwa nabazali abangabasingabazali babhekana nezinselele nezingcindezi ezikhethekile ezingenza kube nzima ukuba babonise abantwana uthando abaludingayo.
Nokho, kunomphumela ogxilile. Abazali abaningi banamuhla baye bakhulela emakhaya lapho kwakungekho “ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okungokwemvelo”—amakhaya awohlozwe ukuphinga nesehlukaniso; amakhaya angenayo imfudumalo futhi anenzondo; mhlawumbe amakhaya lapho ukuxhashazwa ngamazwi, ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, noma ngokobulili kwakuyinsakavukela khona. Ukukhulela emakhaya anjalo akulimazi abantwana nje kuphela kodwa kungaphazamisa ubuntu babo lapho sebebadala. Izibalo ziveza amaqiniso afiphele—abazali ababexhashazwa besakhula cishe nabo bayoxhaphaza izingane zabo. Ezikhathini zeBhayibheli amaJuda ayenesisho esithi: “Oyise badlile izithelo zomvini ezimuncu, amazinyo abantwana aba-bushelezi.”—Hezekeli 18:2.
Nokho, uNkulunkulu watshela abantu bakhe ukuthi sasingekho isizathu sokuba kube njalo. (Hezekeli 18:3) Nanti iphuzu elibalulekile. Ingabe zonke lezi zingcindezi abazali ababhekene nazo zimane zibonisa ukuthi akukho abangakwenza ngaphandle kokuphatha kabi abantwana babo? Lutho neze! Uma ungumzali futhi uzithola ubhekene nezinye zezingcindezi esezibaliwe futhi ukhathazekile ngokuthi uyoke ube umzali okahle yini, yima isibindi! Ungasishintsha isimo sakho. Isikhathi sakho esidlule asilinqumi ngokuzenzekelayo ikusasa lakho.
Ngokuvumelana nesiqinisekiso esingokomBhalo sokuthi intuthuko ingaba khona, incwadi ethi Healthy Parenting iyaphawula: “Ngaphandle kokuba [wena] uthathe izinyathelo zokuzimisela zokuziphatha ngendlela ehlukile kweyabazali bakho, imikhuba yasebuntwaneni bakho iyophinde ivele kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyafuna noma cha. Ukuze uqede lomkhuba, kumelwe uqaphele imikhuba eyingozi oyibhebhethekisayo futhi ufunde indlela yokuyishintsha.”
Yebo, uma kudingekile, ungawuqeda umkhuba wokuba umzali oxhaphazayo! Futhi ungabhekana nezingcindezi ezenza ukuba umzali kube nzima kangaka namuhla. Kodwa kanjani? Ungazifunda kuphi izindinganiso eziphambili nezinokwethenjelwa zokuba umzali okahle? Isihloko sethu esilandelayo sizocabangela lendaba.
[Isithombe ekhasini 6]
Njengoba bebhekene nezingcindezi, abanye abazali bayehluleka ukubonisa uthando kubantwana babo
[Isithombe ekhasini 7]
Abazali kufanele babonise abantwana babo uthando abaludingayo