Bazali—Qeqeshani Izingane Zenu Ngothando
“Zonke izindaba zenu mazenzeke ngothando.”—1 KORINTE 16:14.
1. Abazali bazizwa kanjani lapho kuzalwa umntwana?
ABANINGI bangavuma ukuthi ukuzalwa komntwana kungaba esinye sezenzakalo ezijabulisa kakhulu ekuphileni. Umama ogama lakhe lingu-Aleah uthi: “Lapho ngiqala ukubona intombazanyana yami engangisanda kuyibeletha ngafikelwa injabulo engachazeki. Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi yayiyinhle kunabo bonke abantwana engake ngababona.” Nokho, isenzakalo esinjalo esijabulisayo singenza abazali babe nexhala. Umyeni ka-Aleah uthi: “Ngangikhathazeke ngokuthi ngiyokwazi yini ukuyiqeqesha kahle indodakazi yami ukuba ihlomele izinkinga zokuphila.” Abazali abaningi bakhathazeka ngendlela efanayo futhi bayasiqaphela isidingo sokuqeqesha izingane zabo ngothando. Nokho, abazali abangamaKristu abafisa ukuqeqesha izingane zabo ngendlela efanayo yothando babhekana nezinselele. Iziphi ezinye zazo?
2. Iziphi izinselele abazali ababhekana nazo?
2 Manje sesingené shi ezinsukwini zokugcina zalesi simiso. Njengoba kwabikezelwa, ukungabi naluthando kwandile emphakathini. Abantu ‘abanalo uthando’ futhi ‘bangabangabongiyo, abangathembeki, abangenakho ukuzithiba, abanolaka,’ futhi kunjalo ngisho naphakathi kwamalungu omkhaya. (2 Thimothewu 3:1-5) Ukusebenzelana nsuku zonke nabantu ababonisa izimo zengqondo ezinjalo kungathonya indlela amalungu emikhaya yamaKristu aphathana ngayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abazali balwa nofuzo oluwukuthambekela kwabo siqu kokuphelelwa ukuzithiba, ukusho izinto bengaqondile nokwahlulela kabi nangezinye izindlela.—Roma 3:23; Jakobe 3:2, 8, 9.
3. Abazali bangazikhulisa kanjani izingane zabo zibe ezijabulayo?
3 Naphezu kwalezi zinselele, abazali bangakhulisa izingane zabo zibe ezijabulayo neziphilile ngokomoya. Kanjani? Ngokulalela lesi seluleko seBhayibheli: “Zonke izindaba zenu mazenzeke ngothando.” (1 Korinte 16:14) Ngempela, uthando “luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.” (Kolose 3:14) Ake sihlole izici ezintathu zothando umphostoli uPawulu azichaza encwadini yakhe yokuqala ayibhalela abaseKorinte futhi sixoxe ngezinye izindlela eziqondile abazali abangayisebenzisa ngazo le mfanelo lapho beqeqesha izingane zabo.—1 Korinte 13:4-8.
Isidingo Sokubekezela
4. Kungani abazali kudingeka babekezele?
4 UPawulu wabhala: “Uthando luyabekezela.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Inkulumo yesiGreki ehunyushwe ngokuthi “ukubekezela” isho isineke nokwephuza ukuthukuthela. Kungani abazali kudingeka babekezele? Akungabazeki ukuthi abazali abaningi bangacabanga ngezizathu eziningi. Cabanga ngezimbalwa nje. Ngokuvamile izingane ziyabelesela lapho zicela into eziyifunayo. Ngisho noma umzali enqaba ngokuqinile, ingane ingase ibelesele ngethemba lokuthi uzogcina evumile. Izingane esezikhulakhulile zingase zifune ukunikeza izizathu eziningi zokuba zivunyelwe ukwenza okuthile abazali abaziyo ukuthi kuwubuwula. (IzAga 22:15) Njengathi sonke, izingane zithambekele ekuwaphindeni amanye amaphutha azo.—IHubo 130:3.
5. Yini engasiza abazali ukuba babekezele?
5 Yini engasiza abazali ukuba babekezele futhi babe nesineke ngezingane zabo? INkosi uSolomoni yabhala: “Ukuqondisisa komuntu ngokuqinisekile kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe.” (IzAga 19:11) Abazali bangakuqonda ukuziphatha kwezingane zabo ngokukhumbula ukuthi nabo bake ‘bakhuluma njengezingane, bacabanga njengezingane, basebenzisa ingqondo njengezingane.’ (1 Korinte 13:11) Bazali, niyakhumbula yini nihlupha abazali benu ukuba bavume izicelo zenu zobuntwana? Lapho senikhulakhulile, nake nacabanga yini ukuthi abazali benu babengayiqondi imizwa noma izinkinga zenu? Uma kunjalo, cishe niyasiqonda isizathu esenza izingane zenu ziziphathe ngendlela eziziphatha ngayo nesokuba zidinge ukukhunjuzwa njalo nangesineke ngezinqumo zenu. (Kolose 4:6) Kuhle ukuphawula ukuthi uJehova watshela abazali abangama-Israyeli ukuba ‘bagxilise’ imithetho yakhe ezinganeni zabo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Igama lesiHebheru elisho ‘ukugxilisa’ linencazelo “yokuphindaphinda,” “ukusho kaninginingi,” “ukugcizelela.” Lokhu kusikisela ukuthi abazali kungase kudingeke bayiphinde kaningi imithetho kaNkulunkulu ngaphambi kokuba ingane ifunde ukuyisebenzisa. Ukuphindaphinda okufanayo kuyadingeka ukuze ifundiswe nezinye izifundo ekuphileni.
6. Kungani ukuba umzali obekezelayo kungasho ukuthi kumelwe ube oyekelelayo?
6 Nokho, ukuba umzali obekezelayo akusho ukuba oyekelelayo. IZwi likaNkulunkulu liyaxwayisa: “Umntwana oyekwayo uyobangela unina amahloni.” Ukuze kugwenywe lokhu, isaga esifanayo sithi: “Yinduku nokusola okunika ukuhlakanipha.” (IzAga 29:15) Ngezinye izikhathi, izingane zingase zibe nomuzwa wokuthi abazali abanalo ilungelo lokuzikhuza. Kodwa imikhaya yamaKristu akufanele ibuswe ngentando yeningi, njengokungathi ilungelo labazali lokufuna ukuba izingane zigcine imithetho lixhomeke kuzo ngandlela-thile. Kunalokho, njengeNhloko enkulu yomkhaya, uJehova unikeza abazali igunya lokuqeqesha nokuyala izingane zabo ngothando. (1 Korinte 11:3; Efesu 3:15; 6:1-4) Empeleni, isiyalo sihlobene eduze nesici sothando esilandelayo esashiwo uPawulu.
Indlela Yokuyala Ngothando
7. Kungani abazali abanothando beyoziyala izingane zabo, futhi lokho kuyala kuhlanganisani?
7 UPawulu wabhala ukuthi “uthando . . . lunomusa.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Abazali abazithanda ngempela izingane zabo bayoziyala ngendlela enomusa nengaguquguquki. Ngokwenza kanjalo, balingisa uJehova. UPawulu wabhala: “UJehova uyamyala lowo amthandayo.” Siza uphawule ukuthi uhlobo lwesiyalo iBhayibheli elikhuluma ngalo alusho nje ukujezisa. Lunomqondo wokuqeqesha nokufundisa. Iyini injongo yesiyalo esinjalo? UPawulu uthi: “Labo abaqeqeshwe yiso sibathelela isithelo sokuthula, okuwukuthi, ukulunga.” (Hebheru 12:6, 11) Lapho abazali befundisa izingane zabo ngomusa ngokuvumelana nentando kaNkulunkulu, basuke bezinika ithuba lokuba ngabantu abadala abanokuthula futhi abaqotho. Uma izingane zisamukela “isiyalo sikaJehova,” ziba nokuhlakanipha, ulwazi nokuqonda—izici ezibaluleke ngaphezu kwesiliva noma igolide.—IzAga 3:11-18.
8. Ngokuvamile iba yini imiphumela lapho abazali bengaziyali izingane zabo?
8 Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali basuke bengazithandi izingane zabo uma bengaziyali. UJehova waphefumulela uSolomoni ukuba abhale: “Ogodla induku yakhe uyayizonda indodana yakhe, kodwa ngoyithandayo oyifunayo ukuze ayiyale.” (IzAga 13:24) Izingane ezikhula ngaphandle kwesiyalo esingaguquguquki zingase zizicabangele zona futhi zingajabuli. Ngokuphambene, kuye kwatholakala ukuthi izingane ezinabazali abanozwela kodwa abanomthetho oqinile zenza kahle esikoleni, zisebenzelana kahle nabanye futhi ngokuvamile ziyajabula. Ngokuqinisekile-ke, abazali abayala izingane zabo bayazithanda.
9. Abazali abangamaKristu bazifundisani izingane zabo, futhi lezi zimfuneko kufanele zibhekwe kanjani?
9 Kuhilelani ukuyala izingane ngomusa nangothando? Abazali kudingeka baxoxe nezingane zabo bazitshele ngokucacile okulindeleke kuzo. Ngokwesibonelo, izingane zabazali abangamaKristu zifundiswa ziseyizinsana izimiso zeBhayibheli eziyisisekelo kanye nesidingo sokuhlanganyela ezicini ezihlukahlukene zokukhulekela kweqiniso. (Eksodusi 20:12-17; Mathewu 22:37-40; 28:19; Hebheru 10:24, 25) Izingane kudingeka zazi ukuthi lezi zimfuneko azinakuguqulwa.
10, 11. Kungani abazali bengase bacabangele izifiso zezingane zabo lapho bebeka imithetho yasekhaya?
10 Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi abazali bangase bathande ukuhilela izingane zabo engxoxweni lapho bebeka imithetho yasekhaya. Uma intsha ikwazi ukuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni zaleyo mithetho, ingase ithambekele kakhudlwana ekuyigcineni. Ngokwesibonelo, uma abazali benquma isikhathi sokuba izingane zibe sekhaya, bangase bakhethe ukusibeka ngokwabo isikhathi esiqondile. Noma, bangase bavumele izingane zabo ukuba zisisikisele futhi zisho nezizathu zokukhetha kwazo. Abazali bangabe sebesho isikhathi abasifisayo bese bechaza isizathu esenza babe nomuzwa wokuthi siyafaneleka. Kumelwe kwenziwe njani uma kuvela imibono engafani, njengoba kungase kulindeleke? Kwezinye izimo, abazali bangase banqume ukwamukela okukhethwa izingane zabo uma kungangqubuzani nezimiso zeBhayibheli. Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi abazali badela igunya labo?
11 Ukuze siphendule lo mbuzo, cabanga indlela uJehova alisebenzisa ngothando ngayo igunya lakhe lapho esebenzelana noLoti nomkhaya wakhe. Ngemva kokukhipha uLoti, umkakhe namadodakazi akhe eSodoma, izingelosi zathi kuye: “Balekela esifundeni sezintaba funa ukhukhulwe!” Nokho, uLoti waphendula: “Ngiyacela, makungabi njalo, Jehova!” ULoti wabe esesikisela enye indawo: “Manje, ngiyacela, lo muzi useduze ukuba ngibalekele kuwo futhi kuyinto encane. Ngicela ukubalekela kuwo.” UJehova waphendula wathini? Wathi: “Bheka ngiyakucabangela nakulokhu futhi.” (Genesise 19:17-22) Ingabe uJehova wayedela igunya lakhe? Phinde! Kunalokho, wacabangela isicelo sikaLoti wayesekhetha ukumbonisa umusa owengeziwe kule ndaba. Uma ungumzali, zikhona yini izikhathi lapho ungacabangela khona izifiso zezingane zakho lapho ubeka imithetho yasekhaya?
12. Yini eyosiza ingane ukuba izizwe ilondekile?
12 Yiqiniso, izingane akudingeki zazi imithetho kuphela, kodwa nezijeziso zokwephula leyo mithetho. Lapho sekuxoxiwe ngesijeziso futhi zisiqonda, leyo mithetho kumelwe igcinwe. Akulona uthando uma abazali belokhu bexwayisa izingane zabo ngesijeziso esizifanele kodwa bangazijezisi. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ngenxa yokuthi isigwebo ngomsebenzi omubi asizange sikhishwe ngokushesha, yingakho inhliziyo yamadodana abantu iye yaqina ngokugcwele ukuba enze okubi.” (UmShumayeli 8:11) Yiqiniso, umzali angase angayijezisi ingane phambi kwabantu noma kontanga yayo ukuze ingaphoxeki. Kodwa izingane zizizwa zilondeke ngokwengeziwe, futhi zibe nenhlonipho nothando ngokwengeziwe ngabazali bazo uma zazi ukuthi “uYebo” wabazali unguyebo ‘noCha’ wabo ungucha—ngisho noma lokho kusho ukujeziswa.—Mathewu 5:37.
13, 14. Abazali bangamlingisa kanjani uJehova lapho beqeqesha izingane zabo?
13 Ukuze sibe esothando, isijeziso nendlela esinikezwa ngayo kufanele sifanelaniswe nengane. UPam uyakhumbula: “Izingane zethu ezimbili zazidinga ukuyalwa ngezindlela ezingafani. Okwakusebenza kwenye kwakungasebenzi kwenye.” Umyeni wakhe, uLarry, uyachaza: “Indodakazi yethu endala yayinenkani futhi sengathi yayizwa kuphela isiyalo esiqinile. Nokho, encane yayisheshe izwe uma ithethiswa ngisho nalapho uyibheka kabi.” Ngempela, abazali abanothando bazama ukuthola ukuthi isiphi isiyalo esisebenza kangcono enganeni ngayinye.
14 UJehova ubabekela isibonelo abazali ngoba wazi izici inceku yakhe ngayinye emandla kuzo nebuthaka kuzo. (Hebheru 4:13) Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho uJehova ekhipha isijeziso, akaqini ngokweqile noma ayekelele. Kunalokho, ngaso sonke isikhathi uyala abantu bakhe “ngezinga elifanelekile.” (Jeremiya 30:11) Bazali, niyazazi yini izici izingane zenu ezimandla kuzo nezibuthaka kuzo? Niyakwazi yini ukusebenzisa lolo lwazi ngendlela eyakhayo nenomusa ekuziqeqesheni? Uma kunjalo, nibonisa ukuthi niyazithanda izingane zenu.
Zikhuthaze Ukuba Zikhulume Ngobuqotho
15, 16. Abazali bangazikhuthaza kanjani izingane zabo ukuba zikhulume ngobuqotho, futhi iyiphi indlela abazali abangamaKristu abaye bayithola iphumelela kulokhu?
15 Esinye isici sothando ukuthi “alujabuli ngokungalungi, kodwa lujabulela iqiniso.” (1 Korinte 13:6) Abazali bangaziqeqesha kanjani izingane zabo ukuba zithande okulungile nokuyiqiniso? Isinyathelo esibalulekile siwukuzikhuthaza ukuba ziveze imizwa yazo ngobuqotho, ngisho nalapho ezikushoyo kunzima ngabazali ukukwamukela. Abazali bajabula kufanele lapho izingane ziveza imicabango nemizwa evumelana nezindinganiso zokulunga. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi amazwi engane asuka enhliziyweni angase embule ukuthambekela kokungalungile. (Genesise 8:21) Abazali kufanele basabele kanjani? Ukuthambekela kokuqala kungase kube ukuzijezisa izingane zabo lapho ziveza leyo micabango. Uma abazali besabela ngaleyo ndlela, izingane zingase zifunde ukusho kuphela izinto ezicabanga ukuthi ziyojabulisa abazali. Yiqiniso, inkulumo yokwedelela kufanele inqandwe masinyane, kodwa kunomehluko phakathi kokufundisa izingane indlela enenhlonipho yokukhuluma nokuzinqumela lokho okufanele zikusho.
16 Abazali bangazikhuthaza kanjani izingane ukuba zikhulume nabo ngobuqotho? U-Aleah, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, uthi, “Siye senza ukuba kube nesimo sokuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngokuzama ukuba singabonisi ukucasuka lapho izingane zethu zisitshela izinto ezingasijabulisi.” Ubaba ogama lakhe linguTom uthi: “Sasikhuthaza indodakazi yethu ukuba iveze imizwa yayo ngisho nalapho ingavumelani nombono wethu. Saba nomuzwa wokuthi uma siyingena emlonyeni njalo futhi siyiphoqe ukuba yenze intando yethu, yayizokhungatheka bese ifunda ukusifihlela okusenhliziyweni yayo ngempela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuyilalela kwethu kwayikhuthaza ukuba isilalele.” Ngokuqinisekile, izingane kufanele zilalele abazali bazo. (IzAga 6:20) Kodwa ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile kunikeza abazali ithuba lokusiza izingane zabo zibe nekhono lokucabanga. UVincent, uyise wezingane ezine, uthi: “Sasivamile ukuxoxa ngemiphumela emihle nemibi yesimo esithile ukuze izingane zethu zizibonele ukuthi yikuphi okungcono ezingakukhetha. Lokhu kwazisiza ukuba zibe nekhono lokucabanga.”—IzAga 1:1-4.
17. Yini abazali abangaqiniseka ngayo?
17 Yiqiniso, akekho umzali oyokwazi ukusebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli ngokungenaphutha ekukhuliseni izingane. Noma kunjalo, ningaqiniseka ukuthi izingane zenu ziyoyazisa kakhulu imizamo yenu yokuziqeqesha ngokubekezela, ngomusa nangothando. UJehova uyoyibusisa nakanjani leyo mizamo yenu. (IzAga 3:33) Eqinisweni, bonke abazali abangamaKristu bafuna izingane zabo zifunde ukuthanda uJehova njengoba nabo bemthanda. Abazali bangawufinyelela kanjani lo mgomo omuhle kangaka? Isihloko esilandelayo sizodingida izindlela ezithile eziqondile zokuwufinyelela.
Uyakhumbula?
• Ukuqonda kungabasiza kanjani abazali ukuba babekezele?
• Uthando nokuyala ngomusa kuhlobene kanjani?
• Kungani kubalulekile ukuba abazali nezingane zabo baxoxe ngobuqotho?
[Izithombe ekhasini 23]
Bazali, niyakhumbula yini ukuthi kwakunjani ukuba ingane?
[Isithombe ekhasini 24]
Ingabe niyasikhuthaza isimo sokukhulumisana ngobuqotho nangokukhululekile nezingane zenu?