Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kungani Nginamahloni Kangaka?

“Amahloni aqeda amandla. Awukwesaba okumelwe ubhekane nakho. Angokoqobo ngempela.”—URichard.a

“Lapho ngisemncane nganginenkinga ngempela yamahloni. Kwakungathi ngiphila emhlabeni wami omncane.”—U-Elizabeth oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala.

‘INGABE kukhona okungalungile ngami? Kungani nginamahloni kangaka?’ Ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uke uzibuze le mibuzo? NjengoRichard ocashunwe ngenhla, ungase uzizwe unovalo noma ungakhululeki lapho uhlangana nomuntu ongamazi. Ungase ukhwantabale lapho uphakathi kwabantu abanegunya. Noma mhlawumbe ukhathazeka kakhulu ngalokho abanye abakucabangayo ngawe kangangokuthi uma unikezwa ithuba lokuba uveze imizwa noma imibono yakho, uyathula. “Ngikuthola kunzima ngempela ukuya kubantu engingabazi kahle futhi ngikhulume nabo,” kuvuma uTracey osemusha.

Yini ngempela ebangela leyo mizwa? Ukuyiqonda inkinga kungaba yisinyathelo sokuqala sokuyinqoba. (IzAga 1:5) Owesifazane othile wathi: “Ngangingazi ukuthi kungani ngingakhululeki phakathi kwabantu. Kodwa manje njengoba sengiyazi inkinga yami, ngingabhekana nayo.” Ngakho make sibheke izizathu ezimbalwa zokuthi kungani enye intsha ingase ikuthole kunzima ukukhululeka.

Inkinga Yamahloni

Amahloni cishe ayinkinga evamile. Nakuba osemusha okhululekile kubantu ngokuvamile ejabulela abangane abahlukahlukene, osemusha onamahloni nongunyube angazizwa enesizungu futhi ekhishwe inyumbazane. “Lapho ngisemncane nganginenkinga ngempela yamahloni,” kusho u-Elizabeth oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala. “Kwakungathi ngiphila emhlabeni wami omncane.” UDiane ukhumbula ukucindezeleka ayebhekene nakho ngonyaka wakhe wokuqala esikoleni esiphakeme. “Ngangingakuthandi ukuqashelwa. Kunothisha owathi masinikeze izinga esasinomuzwa wokuthi kubaluleke ngalo ukuba odumile. Esilinganisweni esiqala ku-0 kuya ku-5, u-0 wayesho ukuthi akubalulekile nhlobo kanti u-5 wayesho ukuthi kubalulekile. Wonke amantombazane ayedumile esikoleni afaka u-5. Ngafaka u-0. Kimi, cishe amahloni ayewukwesaba ukuba odumile. Awufuni ukuqashelwa noma ukubukwa ngoba wesaba ukuthi abanye bangase bangakuthandi.”

Yiqiniso, ukuthambekela kokuba namahloni kancane akuyona into embi ngokuphelele. Okuhlobene eduze namahloni isizotha—ukuqaphela ukulinganiselwa kwethu. Empeleni iBhayibheli lisiyala ukuba ‘sihambe noNkulunkulu wethu [ngesizotha].’ (Mika 6:8) Kungaba lula ukuba kanye nomuntu onesizotha ngisho nonamahloni kancane kunomuntu ozikhukhumezayo, ononya, noma onokhahlo. Nakuba kuyiqiniso ukuthi “kunesikhathi sokukhuluma,” sikhona ‘nesikhathi sokuthula.’ (UmShumayeli 3:7) Abantu abanamahloni bangase bangabi nankinga yokuthula. Ngenxa yokuthi bathambekele “ekushesheni ngokuphathelene nokuzwa [futhi] bephuze ngokuphathelene nokukhuluma,” ngokuvamile abanye bayabazisa ngokuba yizilaleli ezinhle.—Jakobe 1:19.

Nokho, kuvamile ukuba umuntu omusha athule, abe namahloni noma azenyeze kangangokuthi abe nobunzima bokuthola abangane. Kanti ezimweni ezingavamile, amahloni angadala lokho omunye umlobi akubiza ngokuthi “uhlobo lwesifo sezinzwa sokuzenza isiboshwa”—ukuzikhipha inyumbazane.—IzAga 18:1.

Amahloni—Inkinga Evamile

Uma uhlushwa amahloni, qaphela ukuthi ayinkinga evamile. Okunye ukuhlolwa kwabafundi besikole esiphakeme nabasekolishi, kwembula ukuthi “abafundi abangamaphesenti angu-82 babeke bazibheka njengabanamahloni esikhathini esithile sokuphila kwabo.” (Adolescence, ka-Eastwood Atwater) Amahloni ayeyinkinga kwabathile ngisho nasezikhathini zeBhayibheli. Amadoda aqavile njengoMose noThimothewu, kungenzeka alwa nawo.—Eksodusi 3:11, 13; 4:1, 10, 13; 1 Thimothewu 4:12; 2 Thimothewu 1:6-8.

Cabanga ngoSawule, inkosi yokuqala yesizwe sasendulo sakwa-Israyeli. Ngokuvamile uSawule wayeyindoda enesibindi. Lapho uyise elahlekelwe umhlambi wezilwane zakhe, uSawule wasuka ngesibindi wayozifuna. (1 Samuweli 9:3, 4) Kodwa lapho egcotshwa ukuba abe inkosi yesizwe, wavele wahlaselwa amahloni. Kunokuba abhekane nezixuku ezazihalalisa, uSawule wacasha phakathi kwezimpahla!—1 Samuweli 10:20-24.

Okubonakala kuwukuntula kukaSawule ukuzethemba kungabonakala kudida. Kakade, iBhayibheli limchaza njengensizwa eyayibukeka futhi ikhanga. Phela, “kusukela emahlombe akhe kuya phezulu wayemude kunabo bonke abantu”! (1 Samuweli 9:2) Ngaphezu kwalokho, umprofethi kaNkulunkulu wayeqinisekise uSawule ukuthi uJehova wayezobusisa ukubusa kwakhe njengenkosi. (1 Samuweli 9:17, 20) Noma kunjalo, uSawule waba nomuzwa wokungazethembi. Lapho etshelwa ukuthi uzoba inkosi, waphendula ngesizotha: “Angisiye owakwaBenjamini yini, owesincane sezizwe zakwa-Israyeli, na? Nomndeni wakithi awumncane yini kuyo yonke imindeni yesizwe sakwaBenjamini na? Ukhulumelani kimi ngale ndlela na?”—1 Samuweli 9:21.

Uma umuntu onjengoSawule ayengantula ukuzethemba, akumangalisi ukuthi nawe ungakuntula kancane ukuzethemba ngezinye izikhathi. Njengosemusha, usebangeni lokuphila lapho umzimba wakho ushintsha ngokushesha. Usaqala ukufunda indlela yokwenza njengabantu abadala. Ngakho-ke, kungokwemvelo ukuba uzizwe uzenyeza kancane futhi ungalondekile ngezinye izikhathi. UDkt. David Elkind wabhala kumagazini i-Parents: “Ekuqaleni kwenkathi yokuthomba, intsha eningi ibhekana nenkathi yamahloni, lapho iba nalokho engikubiza ngokuthi yizibukeli ezicatshangelwayo—inkolelo yokuthi abanye bayayibuka nokuthi babheka ukubukeka kwayo nezenzo.”

Njengoba intsha ngokuvamile yahlulelwa ngontanga bayo ngokubukeka kwayo, eningi iyakhathazeka ngokubukeka kwayo. (Qhathanisa neyesi-2 Korinte 10:7.) Nokho, ukukhathazeka kakhulu ngokubukeka kwakho, akukuhle. Owesifazane osemusha eFrance, okuthiwa uLilia, ukhumbula okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kulesi sici: “Nganginenkinga intsha eningi enayo. Nganginenkinga yesikhumba—izinduna! Awunakulokotha uye kwabanye ngoba ukhathazwa indlela obukeka ngayo.”

Ubunzima Obuqhubekayo

Ngenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile abantu abanamahloni bathathwa kabi, kulula ukuba bazithole besenkingeni yokuzihlukanisa. Incwadi ethi Adolescence, yaphawula: “Intsha enamahloni inobunzima kakhulu bokuthola abangane ngoba ngokuvamile abanye bayaphazama bayibheke ngendlela engeyinhle. Ukuthambekela kuwukuba abantu abanamahloni babhekwe njengabazazisayo, abanesithukuthezi, abangenandaba, ababukelwa phansi, abangenabungane nabanobutha. Uma bephathwa ngaleyo ndlela, bangase bazizwe belahlwe nakakhulu, benesizungu futhi becindezeleke ngokwengeziwe.” Ngokungenakugwenywa, lokhu kubenza babe namahloni ngokwengeziwe, okube sekugcizelela umbono oyiphutha wokuthi bayaziphakamisa noma bayaziqhenya.

Yebo, njengoba ungumKristu ‘ungumbukwane wasenkundleni yemidlalo ezweni,’ kufanele ukhathazeke ngomuzwa owunika abanye. (1 Korinte 4:9) Ingabe uyakugwema ukubabheka emehlweni abanye lapho ukhuluma nabo? Ingabe ukuma kwakho nokushukuma komzimba kudlulisela kwabanye ukuthi ufuna bangakukhathazi? Khona-ke qaphela ukuthi abanye bangase bakuqonde kabi bese bekugwema. Lokhu kungakwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukwakha ubungane.

Ezinye Izici

Nokho enye inkinga evamile iwukwesaba ukwehluleka. Yiqiniso, kufanelekile ukuzizwa ungalondekile kancane noma umanqikanqika lapho wenza into entsha, ongenalwazi ngayo. Kodwa enye intsha iyeqisa kulokhu. Njengomusha, uGail wayeyilokho akubiza ngokuthi igwala lokuba phakathi kwabantu. Uthi: “Ngangingakhulumi ekilasini. Futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi abazali bami babehlaselwa ngezinkulumo ezinjengalezi, ‘Akaphakamisi. Ukhulumela phansi.’ Kimi, kwakukhathaza kakhulu futhi kungicindezela ukwenza lokho. Uyazi, ngisho namanje kusenzima.” Ukwesaba ukwehluleka kungaqeda amandla. “Ngiyakhathazeka ngokwenza amaphutha,” kusho osemusha okuthiwa uPeter. “Angiqiniseki ngempela ngengikwenzayo.” Ukugconwa nokugxekwa ngokhahlo ngontanga kungakwandisa kakhulu ukwesaba futhi kubangele umonakalo ohlala njalo ekuzethembeni kosemusha.

Ukuntula amakhono okusebenzelana nabanye kungenye yezinkinga ezivamile. Mhlawumbe uyangabaza ukuzethula kothile oqala ukumbona, ngenxa nje yokuthi awazi ukuthi uzothini. Kungase kukumangaze ukwazi ukuthi ngisho nabantu abadala ngezinye izikhathi bayazenyeza uma bephakathi kwabanye. Usomabhizinisi okuthiwa uFred uthi: “Kwezamabhizinisi, ngiyazi ukuthi engikwenzayo ngingakwenza kanjani ngempela. Uma nje ngikhuluma ngebhizinisi, angingabazi ukuveza umbono omuhle ngalo. Kodwa uma kuphendukelwa engxoxweni evamile nabantu abafanayo, ngiba manqikanqika. Ngingase ngichazwe njengoyisicefe noma othanda izincwadi noma onobuchwepheshe kakhulu noma ongathakazelisi.”

Ukuthi unamahloni, uyazenyeza noma nje uyesaba ukuba phakathi kwabantu, kuyokusiza ufunde indlela yokukhululeka kakhudlwana. IBhayibheli likhuthaza amaKristu ukuba “anuleke” nokuba abazi kahle abanye! (2 Korinte 6:13) Kodwa ungakwenza kanjani? Lokhu kuzoxoxwa ngakho kumagazini wethu esikhathini esizayo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 26]

Ngokuvamile abantu abanamahloni kucatshangwa ukuthi bangonkom’ idla yodwa

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Ukwesaba ukwehluleka kubangela enye intsha ukuba izehlukanise nabantu