Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ingabe Kufanele Ngihlinzwe Ukuze Ngibe Muhle?

“Ngaphambi kokuba ngihlinzwe ikhala, ngangihlupheka kakhulu ngenxa yokugconwa. Ngangingafuni ikhala eliyisimanga kodwa ngangifuna elizongifanela. Ngiyajabula njengoba sengililungisile futhi uma kungathiwa angiphinde, ngingaphinda.”—U-Eleni.a

“Kungani kufanele ngiphile ngezindinganiso zabanye zobuhle? Uma sengihlinziwe kwashintshwa izitho zami zomzimba, ngiyoba njengemali mbumbulu. Ngeke kusaba yimi.”—UMathias.

“Bonke abantu kumelwe bazinqumele. Kunzima kakhulu ukunqunyelwa omunye umuntu.”—UManuela.

“NOMA ubani omuhle kunami kumelwe ukuba uziphophothe ngezimonyo.” EJalimane, sekuyisikhathi eside abantu abakhathazeka ngokuthi ababahle besebenzisa lesi sisho esihlekisayo ukuze bazivikele. Kodwa kwamanye amazwe namuhla, lesi sisho singathuthukiswa sithi: “Noma ubani omuhle kunami kumelwe ukuba udlule emmeseni.” Ngempela, sekuyinto evamile ukuba abantu bahlinzwe ukuze babe bahle.

“Akusebona abacebile bodwa abahlinzelwa ubuhle,” kubika iphephandaba laseSwitzerland i-Neue Zürcher Zeitung, bese linezela: “Kubili okwenzekayo manje: Ayanda amadoda asefuna usizo lodokotela abahlinzela ubuhle . . . futhi abesifazane sebehlinzwa babe basha kunanoma yinini ngaphambili.” Ngokwenhlolo-vo yaseJalimane, abangamaphesenti cishe angu-20 kulabo okwaxoxwa nabo abaneminyaka ephakathi kwengu-14 nengu-29 ubudala sebake bahlinzelwa ubuhle, bayakuhlela noma okungenani sebeye bakucabanga.b Mhlawumbe abanye babangane bakho, ofunda nabo, noma izihlobo baye bahlinzelwa ukuba babe bahle.

Wena? Wake wakucabanga yini ukuhlinzwa ukuze ubukeke kangcono? Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi unezindlebe ezindizayo, ukuthi amabele akho makhulu kakhulu noma mancane kakhulu, ukuthi unomkhaba noma unezibhuklabhukla zamathanga, noma ukuthi ikhala lakho libi? Uma kunjalo, akuwena wedwa ohlushwa yileyo mizwa. Idlanzana lamantombazane asesikoleni esiphakeme abhala isihloko ephephandabeni laseJalimane ethi: “Ayikho intombazane engangathi engakaze ikhathazeke ngomzimba wayo.” Isifiso sokuba muhle nesokuthandwa sivamile. Kodwa ingabe kufanele uhlinzwe?

Kuyikhambi Lezinkinga Zakho?

Cabanga ngezingane ozaziyo. Ubungamangala yini ukuzwa ukuthi eziningi kuzo—mhlawumbe nalezo ozibona zizinhle—aziyithandi indlela ezibukeka ngayo? Kodwa cishe kunjalo. Nanku-ke umbuzo, Ucabanga ukuthi kufanele zonke zihlinzwe ukuze kulungiswe indlela ezibukeka ngayo? Noma ucabanga ukuthi bekuyoba ngcono uma eziningi bezingafunda ukuthanda izici zazo ezinhle? Ngeke yini wena wasisebenzisa leso simiso?

Njengoba okushiwo ngu-Eleni kubonisa, ngezinye izikhathi ukuhlinzelwa ubuhle kungakwenza ungabi inhlekisa futhi ungagconwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhlinzelwa ukuba muhle akuziqedi zonke izinkinga. Akuyithathi neze indawo yendlela yokuphila enempilo, ekuthuthukisa kakhulu ukubukeka komuntu. Futhi nakuba udokotela ohlinzayo engase akwazi ukushintsha indlela obukeka ngayo, ngeke akwazi ukushintsha ubuntu bakho, engeke akwazi nokuqeda ukukhathazeka onakho noma ukukhulisa ukuzethemba kwakho.

Khumbula nokuthi eminye imitholampilo noma odokotela benza izithembiso abangeke bazifeze. Empeleni bangase bazwakale bekuthembisa injabulo. Kodwa eqinisweni kungenzeka ukuthi bajahe imali yakho kunokukwenza ujabule. Ngeshwa, kunodokotela abahlinzayo abambalwa abangamaqili abayohlinza umuntu kube kungadingekile, emancane namathuba okuba loko kuhlinza kuphumelele, noma kuzomfaka engozini—uma nje kukhona ozokhokha.

Kunanemiphumela ehlala isikhathi eside okumelwe uyicabangele. Ngokwesibonelo, lokho ongase ukubone kukubi kakhulu kuwe lapho uneminyaka engu-16 ubudala kungase kungabonakali kunjalo lapho usuneminyaka engu-21. Udokotela ohlinzela ubuhle uDkt. Urs Bösch uthi: “Ngokomthetho, izingane ezeve eshumini nambili akufanele zihlinzelwe ubuhle. Umzimba wengane nendlela ezibheka ngayo kuyashintsha kule minyaka yobudala.” Ngaphezu kwalokho, makhulu amathuba okuba izingane kudingeke ziphinde zihlinzwe. Futhi njengoba umzimba wakho ukhula, izibazi nazo zingase zande.

Bala Izindleko

IBhayibheli liseluleka ukuba sibale izindleko ngaphambi kokuqala umsebenzi obalulekile. (Luka 14:28) Izingane eziningi ngeke zikwazi ukuhlinzelwa ubuhle ngoba kuyabiza. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi lezo zindleko azikuhlanganisi ukuhlolwa kwangemva kokuhlinzwa—noma ukulungiswa okungase kudingeke.

Baningana abantu abangagcinanga ngokukhokhela ukuhlinzwa ngemali kodwa abakhokhe nangempilo yabo. Ngokwe-American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, izingozi zempilo zihlanganisa ukuvuvukala kwesikhashana, izibazi ezingapheli, ukuba ndikindiki nokungakwazi ukuncelisa, ngisho nokopha kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, u-Anna wacishe wafa lapho ehlinzwa kukhishwa amafutha. Uyabalisa: “Manje senginezibazi ezimbi nesisu sami sifacakile.” Ngokuqondene nokuhlinzwa kokukhishwa amafutha, iphephandaba laseJalimane lithi: “Iyanda imibiko yokuhlinzwa okungahambanga kahle, ngisho neyabantu abafayo.” Ungakhohlwa: “Ukuhlinzwa kuhlale kuwukuhlinzwa, kunezingozi,” kusho incwajana yezempilo i-Apotheken Umschau. Ngakho, cabangisisa ngezingozi ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukuhlinzwa—ikakhulukazi uma ungaguli.

Ungase uzibuze nalokhu: ‘Ngibatshelani abantu ngami? Ukuthi ukubukeka kuza kuqala kimi? Engikhetha ukukwenza kungabathinta kanjani ontanga yami noma izingane zakwethu ezincane?’c

Izisusa Zakho

Izisusa zakho nazo kufanele uzihlolisise. Futhi zingase zingakucaceli kahle. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uzibuze: ‘Ingabe ngifuna abantu bayeke ukungigcona ngesici esibi? Noma ingabe ngifuna ukubukwa? Ingabe ngifuna ukushintsha indlela engibukeka ngayo ngoba ngithonywa ontanga, izikhangiso eziwubuqili, noma esinye isilomo sezokuzijabulisa? Ingabe ngizama ukuthola ubuhle obungavamile obukhuthazwa kakhulu kangaka ezintweni ezinjengomagazini banamuhla?

Abanye bacabanga ukuthi ukuzenza babukeke kangcono kungase kwandise amathuba okuthola umngane womshado noma umsebenzi oholelayo. Kodwa uma sikhuluma iqiniso, ingabe bonke abantu abashadile obaziyo bahle? Abantu abasebenzayo bona? Cha, izinto ezinjalo azincikile ngokuphelele ekubukekeni komuntu. Ngalé nje kwalokho, ingabe umuntu ongashada naye noma ongaba umqashi wakho onendaba kakhulu nokubukeka kwakho kunezimfanelo zakho zangaphakathi ubengakufanelekela ukuba uzifake ezindlekweni nasengozini yokuhlinzwa?

Njengoba uhlaziya izisusa zakho ngokucophelela, xoxa nabazali bakho noma umngane ovuthiwe ngemizwa yakho. Uma ucabanga ukuthi isitho esithile somzimba wakho siyinkinga ngempela, cela umbono wabo oqotho. Ungamane nje uthembe isibuko. Ngokuqondene nendlela esibheka ngayo izici ezisemzimbeni wethu, uNana uthi: “Zikukhathaza kakhulu kunabanye ngoba wena uzibona ngamanye amehlo.” Abacwaningi eLandau University, eJalimane, bachaza ukuthi ezimweni eziningi umuntu ucabangela ukuhlinzwa ukuze abe muhle “hhayi ngoba isitho somzimba sisibi ngempela, kodwa ngoba sibonakala sisibi kuye.”

Ungenzi isinqumo ngokuphamazela, kodwa hlolisisa konke okuhilelekile. Yazi ukuthi uma usuhlinziwe, uhlinziwe. Kuyodingeka uphile nemiphumela yako isikhathi esithile.

Ubuhle Bakho Obubaluleke Kakhulu

Injabulo ayibangelwa indlela obukeka ngayo. Yize indlela obukeka ngayo ingakwenza uzethembe noma ungazethembi, okubaluleke ngempela ubuntu bakho nesimo sakho sengqondo. Ngemva kokuba ecishe wafa, u-Anna waphetha ngokuthi: “Ngifundile ukuthi ubuhle abuhlangene ngalutho nokubukeka komuntu.”

Nakuba iBhayibheli likhuluma kahle ngobuhle bangaphandle, libonisa ukuthi buza kamuva kunobuhle obungokomoya: “Ubuhle buyinkohliso, nokubukeka kuyize, kepha owesifazane owesaba uJehova uyakudunyiswa.” (IzAga 31:30; 1 Samuweli 16:7) Ukwamukela lo mbono kungakusiza uthole ukuthula kwangaphakathi, nakuba unesitho somzimba ongasithandi.

Noma ngabe unquma ukwenzani, khumbula ukuthi ngeke sibuthole manje ubuhle obungenasici nenjabulo ephelele. Sonke sinokungapheleli ngandlela-thile. (Roma 3:23) Ngeke ukushintshe lokho. Ongase ukushintshe umuntu onguye ngaphakathi—lokho iBhayibheli elikubiza ngokuthi “umuntu osithekile wenhliziyo.” (1 Petru 3:3, 4) Zenze ube muhle ngokwakha izimfanelo ezinhle kuNkulunkulu. Akukho zingozi nazindleko, kanti imivuzo mikhulu!

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 17]

Ingabe isitho sakho “esiyinkinga” siyinkinga ngempela noma kudingeka ushintshe indlela ozibheka ngayo?