Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngiyawudinga Yini Umakhalekhukhwini?

“Ngiye ngizwe sengathi kukhona okushodayo nenhliziyo ibe ncane uma ngingawuphethe umakhalekhukhwini.”—U-Akiko.a

OMAKHALEKHUKHWINI sebethandwa nakakhulu emazweni amaningi. Benza izinto zibe lula. Abangane bakho nabazali bangakushayela ucingo nganoma isiphi isikhathi, noma ngabe ukuphi—nawe ungenza okufanayo. Kwezinye izinhlobo ungakwazi ukuthola imiyalezo emifushane nokuyithumela, “okuyindlela yamuva izingane ezanelisa ngayo isifiso sazo sokuxoxa,” kusho i-Times yaseLondon. Kunomakhalekhukhwini abakwazi ngisho nokukufaka kuyi-Internet, ukwazi ukungena ezingosini ezithile nakuyi-E-mail.

Kungenzeka usunawo noma uphezu kokuwuthola. Kunoma ikuphi, ungase ucabange ngalesi sisho: “Yonke into inobuhle nobubi.” Umakhalekhukhwini ungaba usizo. Kodwa ungase uthande ukucabanga nangobubi bawo, ngoba ngisho noma ukhetha ukuwuthenga, ukuzazi kahle izinto ezingase zibe zimbi ngawo kuyokusiza ukuba uwusebenzise ngokuhlakanipha.

‘Bala Izindleko’

UJesu washo isimiso esihlakaniphile esithi umuntu kufanele “abale izindleko” ngaphambi kokuqala umsebenzi obalulekile. (Luka 14:28) Singasebenza yini leso simiso kumakhalekhukhwini? Impela. Kungase kwenzeke uwuthole ushibhe kakhulu noma uwuthole mahhala. Kodwa njengoba uHenna oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala athola, “izindleko zocingo ungazithola sezikhuza phezulu.” Ungezwa kulokhu kuthi zitholele izinto ezithile zokuwuthuthukisa noma kuthi thenga uhlobo olubiza kakhulu. Ngakho, uHiroshi uthi: “Ngibamba itoho bese ngizibekela imali yokuthenga uhlobo olusha njalo ngonyaka.” Izingane eziningi zenza okufanayo.b

Ngisho noma abazali bakho bevuma ukukukhokhela izindleko zocingo, kubalulekile ukwazi izindleko ezihilelekile. Isikhonzi esingumKristu ojikelezayo eJapane sithi: “Abanye omama babamba amatoho ngaphezu komsebenzi ovamile ukuze nje bakhokhele omakhalekhukhwini bezingane zabo, okungenzeka ukuthi azibadingi nakubadinga.” Ngokuqinisekile ngeke uthande ukuthwesa abazali bakho umthwalo onjalo!

“Uchitha Isikhathi”

Abaningi abalinganiselayo lapho besaqala ukusebenzisa lolu cingo bangase bathole ukuthi seludla isikhathi sabo esiningi—bangabe besaba naso isikhathi sokwenza izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu. UMika wayevame ukuhlala isikhathi eside nabakubo etafuleni ngesikhathi sokudla. Uthi: “Manje sithi singaqeda nje ukudla sivele sishone emakamelweni ethu [nomakhalekhukhwini] bethu.”

“Ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu yentsha ephakathi kweminyaka engu-16 nengu-20 ubudala ithanda ukuthumelelana imiyalezo kunezinye izindlela zokuxhumana ezibhalwayo,” kusho i-Guardian yaseLondon. Ukuthumelelana imiyalezo kungase kushibhe kunokushayelana ucingo kodwa kuthatha isikhathi esiningi ukubhala imiyalezo. UMieko uyavuma: “Uma umuntu engithumelela umyalezo ethi ‘ulale kahle,’ nami ngiyamphendula ngithi ‘ulale kahle.’ Bese silokhu sithumelelana imiyalezo kuze kuphele ihora. Kusuke kuyingxoxo engasho lutho.”

Abantu abaningi abasebenzisa omakhalekhukhwini bangethuka kabi uma bengathi ukuma babale sonke isikhathi abasichitha besebenzisa ucingo ngenyanga eyodwa. Intombazane eneminyaka engu-19, uTeija, iyavuma: “Umakhalekhukhwini ubadlela isikhathi abantu abaningi kunokuba usonge.” Ngisho noma unesizathu esizwakalayo sokuba nawo, kubalulekile ukuba ugade isikhathi lapho uwusebenzisa.

Intombazane engumKristu okuthiwa uMarja ithi: “Emihlanganweni emikhulu yamaKristu intsha eningi ilibala ukuthumelelana imiyalezo engasho lutho. Akuve kwandile!” Iye yabonakala nenye intsha yenza okufanayo lapho isenkonzweni yobuKristu. IBhayibheli leluleka amaKristu ukuba athengisise isikhathi semisebenzi engokomoya. (Efesu 5:16) Akuve kudabukisa uma leso sikhathi esiyigugu sesichithwa ezingxoxweni zocingo!

Izingxoxo Zangasese

UMarie ukhuluma nangolunye ugibe: “Njengoba abantu beshayela ocingweni lwalowo muntu, bengashayeli endlini, kunengozi yokuba abazali bangazi ukuthi izingane zabo zikhuluma nobani noma ukuthi zisocingweni yini noma cha.” Ngaleso sizathu enye intsha isebenzisa omakhalekhukhwini ngenjongo yokuxoxa ngasese nabobulili obuhlukile. Enye iye yakhululeka ngokweqile, yangazinaka izindinganiso ebingazinaka lapho ixoxa nabanye. Ikwenza kanjani?

“Uma [intsha] ithumelelana imiyalezo akukho muntu ongakwazi ukubona ukuthi yenzani,” kusho i-Daily Telegraph yaseLondon. Uma ungamboni noma ungamuzwa umuntu okhuluma naye uba nesibindi. “Abanye banomuzwa wokuthi bangakhuluma noma yini uma bethumelelana imiyalezo,” kusho uTimo. “Uma bebhalelana imiyalezo abanye bangase babhale izinto abebengaba namahloni okuzisho ngomlomo.”

Ngesikhathi uKeiko, intombazane engumKristu eneminyaka engu-17, eqala ukuba nomakhalekhukhwini wanika iningi labangane bakhe inombolo yakhe. Ngokushesha waqala ukuthumelelana imiyalezo zonke izinsuku nomfana wasebandleni akulo. UKeiko uthi: “Saqale saxoxa ngezinto ezivamile nje, sabe sesitshelana izinkinga zethu. Saziphilela ukuphila kwethu sodwa ngomakhalekhukhwini bethu.”

Ngenhlanhla, abazali bakhe nabadala abangamaKristu bamsiza ngaphambi kokuba angene enkingeni. Manje uyavuma: “Yize abazali bami babengixwayise kangaka ngokuthumelelana imiyalezo nabafana ngaphambi kokuba banginike umakhalekhukhwini, ngangimthumelela imiyalezo nsuku zonke. Kwakungeyona indlela enhle yokusebenzisa ucingo.”c

IBhayibheli lisiyala ukuba ‘sibe nonembeza omuhle.’ (1 Petru 3:16) Ukwenza kanjalo kusho ukuthi uma usebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini, kumelwe uqiniseke ukuthi ‘akukho lutho ongaba namahloni ngakho,’ njengoba kusho uKoichi, ngisho noma omunye umuntu engayibona noma ayizwe imiyalezo yakho. Ngaso sonke isikhathi khumbula ukuthi akukho lutho olufihlekile kuBaba wethu wasezulwini. IBhayibheli liyachaza: “Akukho ndalo engabonakali emehlweni [kaNkulunkulu], kodwa zonke izinto zíze futhi zenekwe obala emehlweni alowo esiyolandisa kuye.” (Heberu 4:13) Pho uzamelani-ke ukufihla ubuhlobo onabo nabanye?

Zibekele Imingcele

Uma ucabanga ukuba nomakhalekhukhwini, kungani ungaqale uhlolisise ukuthi uyawudinga ngempela yini? Xoxa ngakho nabazali bakho. Abanye bazizwa njengoJenna osemusha, othi: “Umakhalekhukhwini uwumthwalo omkhulu entsheni eningi.”

Ngisho noma unquma ukuba nomakhalekhukhwini, kubalulekile ukungawusebenzisi noma kanjani. Ungakwenza kanjani lokho? Zibekele imingcele ebonisa ukuhluzeka. Ngokwesibonelo, zikalele ukuthi zingaki izinto ucingo olukwazi ukuzenza ozozisebenzisa noma uzikalele isikhathi nemali ozoyisebenzisela ucingo. Njengoba izinkampani eziningi zocingo zikhipha uhlu oluningilizayo lwendlela osebenzise ngayo ucingo, ungase uluhlole nabazali bakho ngezikhathi ezithile. Abanye bakuthola kulula ukusebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini osebenza ngekhadi ukuze bazibekele imingcele.

Qaphela nokuthi uziphendula nini izingcingo nemiyalezo futhi kanjani. Zenzele iziqondiso zakho ezibonisa ukuhluzeka. UShinji uyachaza: “Ngiyibheka kanye ngosuku imiyalezo yami, futhi ngivame ukuyiphendula kuphela uma ibalulekile. Ngenxa yalokho, abangane bami abasangithumeleli imiyalezo engenamsebenzi. Uma kunenkinga ephuthuma ngempela, basuke bezongishayela ucingo.” Okubaluleke kakhulu, bakhethe abantu oxoxa nabo. Unganiki noma ubani inombolo yakho yocingo. Sebenzisa izindinganiso ezifanayo nohlale uzisebenzisa ekukhetheni abangane.—1 Korinte 15:33.

IBhayibheli lithi: “Konke kunesikhathi sakho, . . . isikhathi sokuthula nesikhathi sokukhuluma.” (UmShumayeli 3:1, 7) Kusobala-ke ukuthi omakhalekhukhwini kufanele ‘bathule’ nabo ngezinye izikhathi. ‘Isikhathi’ semihlangano nesenkonzo yethu yobuKristu esokukhulekela uNkulunkulu, akusona esokusebenzisa ucingo. Izimenenja zezitolo zokudlela nezezinkundla zemidlalo ziye zicele abantu abasuke beze khona ukuba babacishe omakhalekhukhwini. Siye sizilalele ngenhlonipho lezo zicelo. Nakanjani uMbusi wendawo yonke kumelwe simhloniphe nakakhulu!

Abaningi bakhetha ukuwucisha umakhalekhukhwini wabo uma lungekho ucingo olubalulekile abalulindele, noma bawenze ungakhali uma benza imisebenzi ebalulekile. Abanye bawucupha ngendlela yokuba umuntu oshaye ucingo ashiye umyalezo. Futhi-ke, angithi imiyalezo eminingi ungayiphendula ngesinye isikhathi?

Uma unquma ukuba nomakhalekhukhwini, zimisele ukuba kube nguwe owulawulayo kungabi yiwo okulawulayo. Kusobala ukuthi kudingeka uhlale uqaphile, ugcina izinto ezibalulekile ziza kuqala. IBhayibheli liyasikhuthaza: “Ukuba nengqondo kwenu makwaziwe yibo bonke abantu.” (Filipi 4:5) Uma ukhetha ukuba nomakhalekhukhwini, siza uzimisele ukuwusebenzisa ngendlela ebonisa ukuthi unengqondo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 18]

Enye intsha ifihla ubuhlobo enabo nabanye ngokusebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini