Ukunika Izingane Lokho Ezikudingayo

KUYACACA ukuthi izingane zidinga kakhulu ukunakwa, futhi kusobala ukuthi eziningi azikutholi ezikudingayo. Indlela intsha engayo namuhla ikwenza kucace lokhu. Umcwaningi othile ocashunwe kuyi-Globe and Mail yaseToronto, eCanada, wabalisa ethi: “Kuyaqala ukuba intsha yethu iqhelelane kangaka nemindeni yayo, nokuba intule ulwazi nokuhlakanipha okusebenzayo ngale ndlela.”

Kwenzekeni? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi le nkinga ngokwengxenye idalwa ukuhluleka ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kokunaka izingane zisezincane? “Kudingeka ukuba sonke sifunde ukuthi singaba kanjani abazali,” kuchaza isazi sezokusebenza kwengqondo esisiza ekufundiseni abesifazane abathola iholo eliphansi indlela yokunakekela izinsana zabo. “Kudingeka siqaphele nokuthi isikhathi esisichitha nezingane zethu manje siyoba nembuyiselo ephindaphindiwe.”

Ngisho nabantwana basidinga njalo isiqondiso. Hhayi nje ngemizuzu embalwa etholakala ngokwethukela kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi—yebo, usuku lonke. Isikhathi esichithwa nezingane kwasebuntwaneni kuqhubeke sibalulekile ukuze zikhule kahle.

Isidingo Sokulungiselela

Ukuze bakwazi ukuthwala umthwalo wabo osindayo, abazali kudingeka balungiselele ukufika kosana lwabo. Bangase bafunde esimisweni uJesu Kristu asiveza ngokuphathelene nokubaluleka kokuhlela kusengaphambili. Wathi: “Ngubani kini othi efuna ukwakha umbhoshongo ongahlali phansi kuqala abale izindleko?” (Luka 14:28) Ukukhulisa izingane—ngokuvamile okuthatha iminyaka engu-20—kuyinkimbinkimbi ngaphezu kokwakha umbhoshongo. Ngakho ukuze uphumelele ekukhuliseni umntanakho kudingeka ube nepulani yokwakha engokomfanekiso.

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuzilungiselela engqondweni nangokomoya ukuba ulungele imithwalo yemfanelo yobuzali. Ukuhlolwa okwenziwa kwabesifazane baseJalimane abangu-2 000 abakhulelwe kwaveza ukuthi izingane ezinomama ababebheke phambili ekubeni nomkhaya zaziphile kangconywana—ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba—kunezingane ezinomama ababengabafuni abantwana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, omunye umcwaningi walinganisa ukuthi amathuba okuba owesifazane osemshadweni ogcwele iziyaluyalu azale ingane elimele ngokomzwelo noma ekhubazekile ngokomzimba angamaphesenti angu-237 kunowesifazane ozinzile emkhayeni wakhe.

Khona-ke kusobala ukuthi obaba banendima ebalulekile ekukhuleni kahle kwengane. UDkt. Thomas Verny waphawula: “Zimbalwa izinto eziyingozi kakhulu enganeni, ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, ngaphezu kukababa omhlukumezayo noma ongamnaki umkakhe okhulelwe.” Ngempela, kuye kwashiwo kaningi ukuthi isipho esihle kunazo zonke ingane engase isithole, ubaba othanda umama.

Ama-hormone ahlobene nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka, akhishelwa egazini likamama, nawo angawuthinta umbungu. Nokho, kucatshangwa ukuthi okuba yingozi ukukhathazeka kukamama okujulile nokuthatha isikhathi eside kuphela, hhayi imizwelo engemihle yesikhashana noma izenzakalo ezicindezelayo. Okubaluleke nakakhulu ukuthi umama okhulelwe uzizwa kanjani ngosana lwakhe olungakazalwa.a

Kuthiwani uma ukhulelwe futhi umyeni wakho engakusekeli, noma uma wena ungawenameli umqondo wokuba umama? Akuyona into entsha ukuthi izimo zingamenza owesifazane azizwe ecindezelekile ngokukhulelwa kwakhe. Kodwa, khumbula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi akulona iphutha lengane yakho. Khona-ke, ungakwazi kanjani ukulondoloza isimo sengqondo esizolile yize ubhekene nezimo ezingezinhle?

Isiqondiso esihlakaniphile esinikezwe eZwini likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli, siye saba usizo ezigidini zabantu. Sithi: “Kukho konke izicelo zenu mazaziwe nguNkulunkulu ngomthandazo nangokunxusa kanye nokubonga; ukuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga kuyolinda izinhliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Jesu.” Uyomangala ukubona indlela ukuphila ngalawo mazwi okungakusiza ngayo ukuba ulandele lesi seluleko: “Ningakhathazeki ngalutho.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Uyosizwa isandla esikhathalelayo soMdali, okwaziyo ukukunakekela.—1 Petru 5:7.

Akuyona Into Engavamile

Emasontweni ambalwa okuqala ngemva kokubeletha, abanye omama abasebasha bazizwa bedabukile futhi bebhocobele ngendlela engachazeki. Ngisho nabesifazane ababekujabulela ukuthi bazothola umntwana kuyenzeka imizwelo yabo iguquguquke. Ukuguquguquka kwemizwelo okunjalo akuyona into engavamile. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ngemva kokubeletha, isilinganiso sama-hormone asemzimbeni yabesifazane singase sishintshe kakhulu. Kuyinto evamile nokuba umama osanda kubeletha abe nomuzwa wokuthi izingcindezi zokuba umama zingaphezu kwamandla akhe—ukuncelisa, ukuphipha nokunakekela umntwana ongakwazi ukucupha isikhathi.

Omunye umama waba nomuzwa wokuthi umntanakhe wayekhalela nje ukumhlupha. Akumangalisi ukuthi isazi sezokukhuliswa kwezingane eJapane sathi: “Akekho ongabhekani nokucindezeleka okuhambisana nokukhulisa ingane.” Ngokwalesi sazi, “into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba umama angalokothi azihlukanise.”

Ngisho noma umama ezizwa ecindezelekile ngokomzwelo ngezinye izikhathi, angayivikela ingane yakhe ukuba ingahlukunyezwa ukuguquguquka kwemizwelo yakhe. Umagazini i-Time wabika: “Omama abacindezelekile abakwaziyo ukudlula kulesi simo sokudabuka kwabo, babanake impela abantwana babo futhi badlale nabo, ubuchopho balabo bantwana bushukunyiswa ngendlela ebenza bakhule beyizingane okubonakalayo ukuthi zijabule.”b

Indlela Ubaba Angasiza Ngayo

Ubaba womntwana uvame ukuba sesimweni esingcono sokusiza nokusekela lapho kudingeka. Lapho umntwana ekhala phakathi kwamabili, ezimweni eziningi ubaba anganakekela izidingo zakhe ukuze umkakhe akwazi ukulala. IBhayibheli lithi: “Amadoda kumelwe ngaso sonke isikhathi awabonelele amakhosikazi awo ekuphileni kwabo abakuhlanganyelayo.”—1 Petru 3:7, The Jerusalem Bible.

UJesu Kristu wabekela amadoda isibonelo esiphelele okumelwe asilandele. Waze wanikela ngokuphila kwakhe ngenxa yabalandeli bakhe. (Efesu 5:28-30; 1 Petru 2:21-24) Ngakho, amadoda adela ukunethezeka kwawo siqu engacelwanga ukuze abe nengxenye ekukhulisweni kwengane alingisa uKristu. Ngempela, ukukhulisa izingane kuwumsebenzi ohlanganyelwayo, umzamo wobunye bobabili abazali okudingeka bawuhlanganyele.

Umzamo Ohlanganyelwayo, Wobunye

“Njengendoda nenkosikazi, sixoxe ngokuningiliziwe ngendlela okufanele siyikhulise ngayo indodakazi yethu, kusho uYoichiro, uyise wentombazanyana eneminyaka emibili. “Isikhathi ngasinye lapho kuphakama inkinga, siyabonisana ukuthi sizobhekana kanjani nayo.” UYoichiro uyaqaphela ukuthi umkakhe uyakudinga ukuphumula, futhi uvame ukuthatha indodakazi yakhe ahambe nayo lapho eyokwenza imisetshenzana ethile.

Ezikhathini zangaphambili, lapho imikhaya ngokuvamile yayimikhulu futhi isondelene, abazali babesizwa izingane ezindala nezihlobo ekunakekeleni umntwana. Ngakho-ke akumangalisi uma isisebenzi saseSikhungweni Esisiza Ekukhulisweni Kwabantwana eKawasaki, eJapane, siphawula kanje: “Ezimweni eziningi, omama kungabasiza ukuxoxa nabanye ngenkinga. Ngosizo oluncane nje, omama abaningi baye bakwazi ukubhekana nezithiyo.”

Umagazini i-Parents uthi abazali “badinga ukuba nabantu abangaxoxa nabo lapho bekhathazekile.” Bangabatholaphi labo bantu? Omama nobaba abasha bangazuza kakhulu ngokuba nomqondo ovulekile nangokulalela abazali babo noma abasemzini. Kodwa-ke, abazali babo kufanele baqaphele ukuthi ukwenza isinqumo kusemahlombe alo mbhangqwana omusha.c

Omunye umthombo abazali abasha ngokuvamile abangathembela kuwo yilabo abakholwa kanye nabo. Ebandleni lendawo loFakazi BakaJehova, ungase uthole abantu abaneminyaka eminingi yokuhlangenwe nakho ekukhuliseni izingane futhi abazimisele ukulalela izinkinga zakho. Bangakunika amacebiso awusizo. Ngokuvamile, ungase ucele usizo ‘lwabesifazane asebekhulile’—njengoba iBhayibheli libabiza kanjalo labo abanokuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni kobuKristu—abazimisele ukusiza abesifazane abasha.—Thithu 2:3-5.

Yiqiniso, abazali kudingeka bakhethe lapho belalela imibono abayinikezwa ngabanye. UYoichiro uthi: “Masinyane nje wonke umuntu wayeseqeketha esifundisa indlela yokukhulisa ingane.” Umkakhe, uTakako, uyavuma: “Kwaqale kwangiphazamisa ukusikisela esasikuthola kwabanye, ngoba ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi babegxeka ukuntula kwami ulwazi njengomzali.” Kodwa, ngokufunda kwabanye, amadoda namakhosikazi amaningi baye basizwa ukuba babe nombono olinganiselayo ekunikezeni izingane lokho ezikudingayo.

Usizo Olungcono Kunalo Lonke Ongaluthola

Ngisho noma kubonakala sengathi akukho muntu ongakusiza, ukhona umthombo wamandla onokwethenjelwa. NguJehova uNkulunkulu, owasidalayo, lowo iso lakhe elikwazi ukubona “ngisho nombungu” wabantu abazalwa emhlabeni. (IHubo 139:16) UJehova wake wathi kubantu bakhe bezikhathi zamandulo njengoba kulandiswe eZwini lakhe, iBhayibheli: “Umfazi angamkhohlwa yini umntanakhe osancela angayihawukeli indodana yesisu sakhe? Ngisho nalaba besifazane bangakhohlwa, nokho mina ngeke ngikukhohlwe.”—Isaya 49:15; IHubo 27:10.

Ngempela, uJehova akabakhohlwa abazali. EBhayibhelini, ubanikeze iziqondiso ezinhle zokukhulisa izingane. Ngokwesibonelo, eminyakeni engaba ngu-3 500 edlule, umprofethi kaNkulunkulu uMose wabhala: “Kumelwe uthande uJehova uNkulunkulu wakho ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho nangawo wonke umphefumulo wakho nangawo onke amandla akho.” UMose wabe esethi: “La mazwi [ahlanganisa nesikhuthazo sokuthanda nokukhonza uJehova] engikuyala ngawo namuhla kumelwe abe senhliziyweni yakho; kumelwe uwagxilise kubantwana bakho futhi ukhulume ngawo lapho uhleli endlini yakho nalapho uhamba endleleni nalapho ulala nalapho uvuka.”—Duteronomi 6:5-7.

Ucabanga ukuthi yiliphi iphuzu esilithola kulesi siqondiso esiseZwini likaNkulunkulu? Akukona yini ukuthi ukufundisa izingane zakho kumelwe kube yinqubo yasikhathi sonke, efezwa usuku ngalunye? Empeleni, akwanele ukumane nje ubekele eceleni isikhathi esizuzisayo sokuba nezingane zakho ngezikhathi ezithile. Njengoba izikhathi ezibalulekile zokukhulumisana zivame ukuzenzakalela, kudingeka ukuba izingane zakho zikwazi ukukuthola njalo. Uma wenza kanjalo uyokwenza kube lula ukugcwalisa lo myalo weBhayibheli: “Qeqesha umntwana ngokwendlela emfanele.”—IzAga 22:6.

Ukuziqeqesha okufanele izingane kuhlanganisa nokuzifundela. IBhayibheli lisitshela ukuthi umfundi wekhulu lokuqala uThimothewu ‘wayazi imibhalo kwasebuntwaneni.’ Ngakho-ke kumelwe ukuba unina, uEvnike nogogo wakhe uLowisi babemfundela ngesikhathi esewusana. (2 Thimothewu 1:5; 3:14, 15) Kuhle ukuqala ukwenza lokhu ngokushesha nje lapho uqala ukukhuluma nomntanakho. Kodwa ningafundani, futhi iyiphi indlela engcono yokufundisa ngisho nosana?

Ingane yakho mayikuzwe ufunda iBhayibheli. Kumelwe ukuba uThimothewu wayefundelwa lona. Zikhona nezincwadi ezisiza izingane ukuba zijwayelane neBhayibheli ngokusebenzisa izithombe ezinemibala emihle. Lezi zithombe zisiza izingane ukuba zizibone ngeso lengqondo izinto ezifundiswa iBhayibheli. Ngokwesibonelo, kunencwadi ethi INcwadi Yami Yezindaba ZeBhayibheli nethi Umuntu Omkhulu Kunabo Bonke Owake Waphila. Ngalezi zincwadi, kuye kwagxiliswa izimfundiso zeBhayibheli ezinhliziyweni nasezingqondweni zezigidi zezingane.

Njengoba nje iBhayibheli lisho, “abantwana bayifa elivela kuJehova; isithelo sesisu singumvuzo.” (IHubo 127:3) UMdali wakho ukuphathise “ifa,” umntwana othandekayo, ongaba umthombo wenjabulo neqholo. Ukukhulisa abantwana, ikakhulukazi ukubakhulisa babe abadumisi boMdali wabo, ngempela kuwumsebenzi onomvuzo!

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

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Imizwa kamama ngomntanakhe ongakazalwa ibaluleke ngempela

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Nakuba imizwelo kamama osanda kubeletha ingase iguquguquke, kuningi angakwenza ukuze enze umntanakhe azizwe ethandwa futhi elondekile

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Obaba banomthwalo wemfanelo wokuhlanganyela ekunakekeleni umntwana

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Ukufundela ingane kufanele kuqale ebuntwaneni