Indima Yakho Njengomzali

“UMA wenza ingane izizwe ithandwa, iyingxenye yomkhaya, iwusizo futhi inelukuluku lokwazi izinto, khona-ke ubuchopho bayo buzokhula,” kusho uPeter Gorski waseHarvard Medical School. “Indima yethu njengabazali akukona ukwenza ubuchopho bengane busebenze ngendlela ephelele, kodwa iwukunakekela izingane ukuze zikhule zingabantu abayimiqemane, abaphilile engqondweni nabakhathalelayo.”

Yeka ukuthi kuvuza kanjani kuwe njengomzali ukubona ingane yakho ikhula ingumuntu oziphethe kahle futhi obakhathalelayo abanye abantu! Ukuze ube nengane enjalo, kuxhomeke kakhulu ezinyathelweni ozithatha kuqala zokuba isibonelo, umngane, umuntu onekhono lokuxoxa, nomfundisi. Yize zonke izingane zizalwa zinawo amandla okuziphatha kahle, abazali kumelwe baqhubeke benikeza izingane zabo izimiso zokuziphatha njengoba zikhula.

Ubani Ololonga Izingane?

Abacwaningi banemibono ehlukahlukene mayelana nokuthi ubani onethonya elikhulu ekulolongeni izingane. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ngokuyinhloko izingane zilolongwa ontanga yazo. Nokho, uDkt. T. Berry Brazelton noStanley Greenspan, abangochwepheshe emkhakheni wezokukhula kwezingane, bakholelwa ukuthi indima yomzali ekukhuliseni ingane enozwela ibaluleke kakhulu.

Izigigaba eziyolandela ekuphileni kwayo nethonya lontanga kuyathasisela ekukhulisweni kwengane isencane. Kubalulekile ukuba izingane ziphathwe ngozwela nangokuqonda emkhayeni. Kudingeka zifundiswe nendlela yokulawula imizwa yazo ngendlela evuthiwe. Izingane ezithola usizo olunjalo ngokuvamile zikulungele kangcono ukubambisana nabanye emsebenzini, zinozwela futhi ziyakhathalela.

Ukuqeqesha izingane ziseyizinsana kuwumsebenzi onzima. Ukuze niphumelele—ikakhulukazi uma ningabazali abasebasha—kuyinkambo yokuhlakanipha ukufuna usizo kulabo asebengomakadebona bese niba nesimiso esiqondile enisilandelayo. Izazi ziye zabhala inqwaba yezincwadi ngokukhula kwezingane. Lokho ezikushoyo ngokuvamile kwenanela iseluleko esinokuthenjelwa esiqukethwe iBhayibheli. Lapho zisetshenziswa, izimiso ezinengqondo zeZwi likaNkulunkulu ziye zasiza abazali ukuba baphumelele ekukhuliseni izingane zabo. Cabangela isiqondiso esilandelayo esiwusizo.

Ungazigodli Ekuboniseni Uthando

Izingane zinjengezithombo ezincane ezikhula kahle lapho zinakekelwa njalo nangothando. Amanzi nokukhanya kwelanga kondla isithombo kusishukumisele ukuba sikhule siphilile futhi siqinile. Ngokufanayo, abazali abakukhuthalele ukubonisa izingane zabo ngamazwi nangezenzo ukuthi bayazithanda bayokhathalela ukukhula kwazo ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo nokuzisiza ukuba zibe abantu abazinzile.

IBhayibheli kalula nje lithi: “Uthando luyakha.” (1 Korinte 8:1) Abazali abakukhuthalele ukubonisa izingane zabo uthando empeleni balingisa uMdali wabo, uJehova uNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli lilandisa ukuthi ngesikhathi uJesu ebhapathizwa, wezwa izwi likaYise lisho amazwi okumamukela nokumthanda njengeNdodana yakhe. Yeka ukuthi lokho kwamqinisekisa kanjani ngisho noJesu owayesemdala!—Luka 3:22.

Uthando enilubonisayo, izingxoxo eniba nazo ngaphambi kokuyolala, ngisho nemidlalo eniyidlalayo kuyizici ezibaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni kwengane yenu. ‘Konke ingane ekwenzayo,’ kusho uDkt. J. Fraser Mustard, ‘kwenezela olwazini lwayo. Uma ingane ifunda ukukhasa, indlela oyikhuthaza futhi osabela ngayo ibaluleke kakhulu.’ Uthando nokunaka kwabazali kuyibekela isisekelo esiqinile ingane ukuze ikhule futhi ibe ngumuntu onengqondo novuthiwe.

Ukuba Umngane Nomuntu Onekhono Lokuxoxa

Ukuchitha isikhathi nezingane zenu kwakha isibopho esinihlanganisayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuthuthukisa namakhono okuxoxa. Lokhu kusondelana—ekhaya nanomaphi futhi nanganoma isiphi isikhathi esifanelekayo—kuyakhuthazwa emiBhalweni.—Duteronomi 6:6, 7; 11:18-21.

Izazi zokukhula kwezingane ziyavuma ukuthi isikhathi abazali abasichitha nezingane zabo sibaluleke kakhulu ngaphezu kwamathoyizi amahle nanoma imuphi omunye umsebenzi. Izinto ezingenziwa nsuku zonke futhi ezingabizi zinganinikeza amathuba anjalo okuchitha isikhathi nezingane zenu. Ngokwesibonelo, ukumane nje niye epaki nibuke imvelo kunganikeza abazali ithuba elihle lokubuza imibuzo eshukumisa ingqondo futhi kukhuthaze ingxoxo.

ImiBhalo ithi kukhona “nesikhathi sokutshakadula.” (UmShumayeli 3:1, 4) Yebo, ukudlala nje kungancintiswana kubalulekile ekukhuleni kwengane ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo nasekukhuleni kwamakhono ayo okwakha ubungane. NgokukaDkt. Mustard, akukhona nje ukuthi ukudlala kuyazuzisa kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu. Uthi: “Ubuchopho bezingane ngokuyinhloko bakha imizila edingekayo yokwenza zonke izinhlobo zemisebenzi ngokudlala.” Amathoyizi ingane edlala ngawo futhi ekwazi ukwenza noma yini ngawo angase angabi ayinkimbinkimbi, njengamakhalibhodi angenalutho. Izinto zasekhaya eziphephile zikhanga izingane ngendlela efanayo namathoyizi obuchwepheshe abizayo.a

Izazi zikholelwa ukuthi ukucinanisa ingane ngemisebenzi eminingi eqondiswa abantu abadala kungase kunqinde ikhono layo lokucabanga nokusungula izinto. Kutuswa ukuba ulinganisele. Nikeza ingane yakho ithuba lokusebenzisa ingqonjwana yayo nolwazana lwayo. Ngokuvamile ingane iyoyithola into engazilibazisa ngayo. Nokho, lokhu akukukhululi emthwalweni wakho wemfanelo wokwazi ukuthi ingane yakho yenzani nokuthi idlala kuphi ukuze ingazilimazi.

Hlela Isikhathi Sako

Ukufundisa kuyisici esibaluleke kakhulu ekukhulisweni nasekunakekelweni kwezingane ezizethembayo. Abazali abaningi babeka eceleni isikhathi sokufundela izingane zabo nsuku zonke. Lokhu kubanikeza ithuba lokufundisa izingane izifundo ezibalulekile mayelana nokuziphatha okwamukelekayo, futhi bazinike nezimiso zokuziphatha ezisekelwe kulokho uMdali wethu akushoyo. IBhayibheli liphawula ukuthi umfundisi othembekile futhi owayeyisithunywa sevangeli uThimothewu ‘wayazi imibhalo engcwele kusukela esewusana.’—2 Thimothewu 3:15.

Ukufundela usana kungashukumisa ukusebenza kwezinhlaka zokuxhumana zobuchopho bayo. Okubalulekile ukuba ukufunda kwenziwe umuntu oneso elibukhali futhi okhathalelayo. ULinda Siegel, onguprofesa wezemfundo, uxwayisa ngalokho okufundwayo: “Kufanele kube okwezinga izingane ezilijabulelayo.” Lwelani nokuba ukufunda kwenziwe njalo nangesikhathi esifanayo nsuku zonke. Ngaleyo ndlela ingane iqala ukukulangazelela.

Ukufundisa kuhlanganisa nesiyalo. Izingane zingazuza esiyalweni sothando. “Indodana iyahlakanipha lapho kukhona isiyalo sikababa,” kusho izAga 13:1. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi isiyalo sihlanganisa izinto eziningi. Ngokwesibonelo singase sibe yisiqondiso esinikezwa ngomlomo noma ngokuncishwa amalungelo athile noma ngezinye izindlela zokuyijezisa. UDkt. Brazelton, ocashunwe ngaphambili, uthi isiyalo “sihlobene nokufundisa ingane indlela yokulawula imizwa yayo nokugwema ukuziphatha okungamukeleki. Ingane ngayinye iyakudinga impela ukwazi imingcele yayo. Ngaphandle kothando, isiyalo siyinto ebaluleke kakhulu oyinika [ingane].”

Wena njengomzali ungazi kanjani ukuthi isiyalo sakho siyasebenza? Okokuqala, izingane zakho kufanele ziqonde ukuthi kungani zithola isiyalo. Lapho uziqondisa, kwenze ngendlela yokuba izingane zizwe ukuthi ungumzali okhathalelayo nonothando.

Imizamo Ephumelelayo

UFred ungubaba owakwenza kwaba umkhuba ukufundela indodakazi yakhe kwasebuntwaneni nsuku zonke ngaphambi kokuba iyolala. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, waphawula ukuthi yayisizibambe ngekhanda izindaba eziningi futhi yayihambisana naye, ikhumbula amagama nemisindo yawo. UChris ungomunye umzali owayeqikelela ukuba afundele izingane zakhe. Wayezikhandla ngokushintshashintsha izindaba ayezifunda. Lapho izingane zakhe zisezincane, wayesebenzisa imifanekiso esezincwadini ezinjengethi INcwadi Yami Yezindaba ZeBhayibheli ukuze azifundise izifundo zokuziphatha nezingokomoya.b

Abanye abazali balwela ukugcina ukufunda neminye imisebenzi ewusizo kusesilinganisweni—ukudweba, ukudlala umculo, ukukhempa, noma ukuvakashela izindawo ezinjengama-zoo njengomkhaya. Lezi zikhathi zingasetshenziswa njengamathuba okufundisa izingane izifundo nokugxilisa izimiso zokuziphatha ezinhle engqondweni nasenhliziyweni yengane esathambile.

Ingabe wonke lo msebenzi nokuzikhandla kunomvuzo? Abazali abenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuba basebenzise iziqondiso eziwusizo ezingenhla endaweni enokuthula nokulondeka cishe basethubeni elikhulu kakhulu lokubona izingane zabo ziba nesimo sengqondo esihle. Uma eminyakeni yokuqala yezingane zakho ukhulisa amakhono engqondo nawokuxoxa, uyoba neqhaza elikhulu esimilweni sazo nasengokomoyeni lazo.

Emakhulwini eminyaka adlule iBhayibheli lasho ngokucacile kuzAga 22:6: “Qeqesha umntwana ngokwendlela emfanele; ngisho nalapho ekhula ngeke aphambuke kuyo.” Ngokuqinisekile abazali banendima ebaluleke kakhulu ekuqeqesheni ingane. Ungazigodli ekuboniseni izingane zakho uthando. Chitha isikhathi nazo, zikhulise, uzifundise. Ukwenza kanjalo kuyojabulisa zona nawe.—IzAga 15:20.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]

Ukudlala Nosana Lwakho

◼ Izinsana zishesha kakhulu ukuphelelwa isithakazelo, ngakho dlalani kuphela lapho zisakujabulela.

◼ Uma nisebenzisa amathoyizi, qiniseka ukuthi aphephile futhi ayazishukumisa izinzwa zengane.

◼ Dlalani imidlalo efuna ukuba nenze izinto. Izinsana ziyakujabulela ukukwenzisa izinto ngokuphindaphindiwe, njengokucosha ithoyizi eziliwisayo.

[Umthombo]

Source: Clinical Reference Systems

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 10]

Amacebiso Okufundela Ingane Yakho

◼ Funda ngokuzwakalayo futhi uphimise kahle. Ingane ifunda ulimi ngokuzwa abazali belukhuluma.

◼ Izingane ezisencane kakhulu, zibonise imifanekiso yabantu neyezinye izinto ezisezincwadini zezindaba bese usho ukuthi iyini.

◼ Lapho ingane isikhulakhulile, khetha izincwadi ezikhuluma ngezindaba ezithandayo.

[Umthombo]

Source: Pediatrics for Parents

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 8, 9]

Chitha isikhathi ungcebeleka kamnandi nezingane zakho