Intsha Iyabuza. . .

Kungani ngihlale ngiqhathaniswa nabanye?

“Ngivele ngihlanye uma abazali bami noma othisha bengiqhathanisa nabanye.”—UMia.a

“Ukuqhathaniswa nabanye kungenza ngizizwe ngingelutho ngoba ngisuke ngifisa ukufana nalo muntu engiqhathaniswa naye.”—U-April.

ESIKOLENI uthisha wakho uyakuthethisa uma ungenzi kahle ezibalweni njengenye ingane ofunda nayo. Ekhaya umzali wakho ukuthethisela ukuthi awulona inono njengodadewenu. Othile uthi: “Wayemuhle kabi unyoko ngesikhathi esengangawe!” La mazwi abuhlungu ngenxa yokuthi akwenza uzibuze ukuthi umuntu owashoyo ukubona umubi yini. Kungase kuthi memeza, “Abangiboni yini mina abantu? Kungani njalo ngihlale ngiqhathaniswa nomunye umuntu?”

Kungani kubuhlungu kangaka ukuqhathaniswa? Kukhona yini okuhle okungavela kuko? Yini ongayenza lapho abantu bekuqhathanisa nabanye?

Kungani Kubuhlungu Ukuqhathaniswa Nabanye?

Esinye isizathu esenza kube buhlungu ukuqhathaniswa nabanye ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi kukuthinta ngokuqondile. Empeleni, lokho abantu abakushoyo kungase kube yinto nawe ohlale uzitshela yona. Ngokwesibonelo, uBecky uyavuma, “Ngangibheka izingane ezidumile esikoleni bese ngicabanga, ‘Ukube nje bengifana nazo, bengizothandwa abantu abaningi.’”

Yini evusa le mizwa yokungazethembi? Ake ucabange ngalokho okwenzekayo emzimbeni wakho, emizwelweni nasengqondweni. Kungenzeka ukuthi umzimba wakho ushintsha njalo. Ubuhlobo bakho nabazali bakho sebuqala ukuba nezinkinga. Kungenzeka indlela obheka ngayo abantu bobulili obuhlukile isishintshe kakhulu. Ngakho-ke ungase uzibuze, ‘Ingabe ngikhula ngendlela evamile?’

Mhlawumbe unomuzwa wokuthi ukuziqhathanisa nenye intsha ebhekene noshintsho olufanayo iyona kuphela indlela ongayithola ngayo impendulo yalokhu. Nanto-ke ugibe! Uma bebonakala bebhekana kangcono nalesi simo kunawe, ungase uzizwe ungalondekile. Ngakho-ke lapho umuntu omdala othile ekubuza, ‘Kungani wena ungafani nosibanibani?’ ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi kusho ukuthi lokho okucabangayo kuyiqiniso—kukhona okungahambi kahle kuwe!

U-April uveza esinye isizathu esenza kube buhlungu ukuqhathaniswa. Uthi: “Uma abantu bekuqhathanisa nothile, ikakhulukazi umuntu osondelene naye, kungakwenza ube nomona futhi ucasuke.” UMia uyazi ukuthi kunjani lokho. Abazali nothisha bahlale bemqhathanisa nodadewabo omdala njalo. “Bangitshela zonke izinto ayesezifinyelele ngesikhathi elingana nami,” kusho uMia. Kunamiphi imiphumela lokho? “Kungenza ngizizwe sengathi ngincintisana nodadewethu. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngize ngimcasukele.”

Ukuqhathaniswa kungaveza imiphumela emibi ngempela. Ake ucabange ngalokho okwenzeka kubangane bakaJesu abaseduze. Ngobusuku bokugcina ngaphambi kokufa kukaJesu, kwavela “impikiswano evuthayo” phakathi kwabaphostoli. Kungani? Empeleni, babeziqhathanisa omunye nomunye bephikisana ngokuthi “ubani kubo owayebonakala emkhulu kunabo bonke.” (Luka 22:24) Ngaphandle kokuthandabuza, ezinye izinhlobo zokuqhathanisa zingaba yingozi. Kodwa ingabe konke ukuqhathaniswa kubi?

Okuhle Ngokuqhathaniswa

Ake ucabange ngoDaniyeli osemusha nabangane bakhe abathathu abangamaHebheru, okukhulunywa ngabo eBhayibhelini. Le ntsha yayingafuni ukudla izibiliboco zenkosi yaseBhabhiloni ezazenqatshelwa umthetho kaNkulunkulu. (Levitikusi 11:4-8) Ukuze benze umqaphi wabo abasize, uDaniyeli wahlongoza ukuba kwenziwe isivivinyo. Wathi ngemva kwezinsuku eziyishumi zokudla ukudla okwamukelekile ngaphansi koMthetho kaNkulunkulu, umqaphi aqhathanise intsha engamaHebheru nenye intsha esesigodlweni. Waba yini umphumela?

IBhayibheli liyachaza: ‘Ekupheleni kwezinsuku eziyishumi [amaHebheru] ayebukeka kangcono futhi enonophele kunabo bonke abanye abantwana ababedla izibiliboco zenkosi.’ (Daniyeli 1:6-16) Qaphela ukuthi umphumela omuhle awuvelanga ngenxa yokuthi uDaniyeli nabangane bakhe babondlekile ngokwemvelo kunenye intsha. Kunalokho, kwakungenxa yokuthi intsha engamaHebheru yakhetha ukulalela imithetho uNkulunkulu ayeyinike abantu bakhe.

Ingabe usesimweni esifana nesale ntsha engamaHebheru? Uma uphila ngezimiso zeBhayibheli zokuziphatha, uzobonakala uhluke kakhulu kwenye intsha. Abantu abathile ababona lo mehluko bangase badideke futhi ‘baqhubeke bekuhlambalaza.’ (1 Petru 4:3, 4) Nokho, abanye bayoyibona imiphumela emihle yokuziphatha kwakho okuhle, futhi bangaze bashukumiseleke ukuba bafunde ngoJehova. (1 Petru 2:12) Kulesi simo, ukuqhathaniswa nabanye kungaba kuhle.

Kungaba kuhle ukuqhathanisa nangenye indlela. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ucabange ukuthi wena wenza ingxenye yakho yomsebenzi ekhaya ngendlela efanelekile—okungenani uma uziqhathanisa nomfowenu noma udadewenu. Nokho, abazali bakho bangase babe nombono ohlukile. Ukuze bakusize ulungise indlela obheka ngayo izinto, bangase basebenzise isibonelo seBhayibheli bese bekucela ukuba uqhathanise isimo sakho sengqondo nezenzo zakho nokomlingiswa waseBhayibhelini.

Ngokwesibonelo, bangase bakukhumbuze ukuthi nakuba uJesu ayebizwa ngokuthi iNkosi nangokuthi uMfundisi, wageza izinyawo zabafundi bakhe ngokuzithandela. (Johane 13:12-15) Bangabe sebekukhuthaza ukuba ulingise ukuzithoba nesimo sokuzikhandla sikaJesu. Empeleni, iBhayibheli likhuthaza wonke amaKristu, amasha namadala, ukuba njalo aziqhathanise noKristu futhi azame ‘ukulandela izinyathelo zakhe eduze.’ (1 Petru 2:21) Lolu hlobo lokuqhathanisa lusigcina sithobekile futhi lusisize ukuba sihlakulele ubuntu obumjabulisa nakakhulu uJehova.

Ukubhekana Nokuqhathaniswa Okubi

Kuyavunywa, ungacasuka futhi udumazeke lapho uqhathaniswa kabi nengane yakini noma nontanga. Ungabhekana kanjani nalokhu? Inkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yathi: “Ukuqondisisa komuntu ngokuqinisekile kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe.” (IzAga 19:11) Kungakusiza kanjani ukuqondisisa? Ungase ungacabangi kanjalo, kodwa lowo osuke eqhathanisa, njengomzali noma uthisha, kungenzeka ukuthi uyakukhathalela. UCathy uthi: “Lapho othile engiqhathanisa nabanye, ngiyazibuza, ‘Iyiphi indlela abazama ukungisiza ngayo?’” UCathy uthola ukuthi ngokuba nombono ofanele ngalokhu, ayancipha amathuba okuba adumale noma acasuke.

Kodwa, kuthiwani uma unomuzwa wokuthi njalo uhlale uqhathaniswa nabanye? Ngokwesibonelo, kungase kubonakale sengathi njalo umzali ukuqhathanisa nezingane zakini ngendlela engafanele. Ungase ukhulume nomzali umchazele ngenhlonipho indlela ukuqhathaniswa okukwenza uzizwe ngayo. Umzali wakho kungenzeka ukuthi akayiboni indlela okukulimaza ngayo ukukuqhathanisa kwakhe.

Nokho, khumbula ukuthi kukhona “isikhathi sokuthula nesikhathi sokukhuluma.” (UmShumayeli 3:7) Kunokuvukwa ulaka lapho uqhathaniswa ngokuzayo, linda luze lwehle ulaka, bese ukhuluma nomzali wakho noma nanoma ubani okuqhathanisa kabi. Uma wenze njalo, amazwi akho ayoba nethonya kakhulu.—IzAga 16:23.

Ngokuvamile, ungabunciphisa ubuhlungu bokuqhathaniswa ngokwazi izinto onekhono kuzo. Umphostoli uPawulu watshela uThimothewu: “Makungabikho muntu nanini obukela phansi ubusha bakho.” (1 Thimothewu 4:12) UThimothewu wayesemusha ngezinga elithile lapho emiswa ukuba abe umbonisi ongumKristu. Ngakho-ke kungenzeka ukuthi abathile babemqhathanisa kabi uThimothewu namanye amadoda amadala ayenokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe kunaye. Kodwa ukuqhathaniswa okunjalo okubi kwakungafanele. Nakuba ayemncane, uThimothewu wayesethole okuhlangenwe nakho okuningi lapho ehamba noPawulu. UThimothewu wayekwazi ukuphatha iZwi likaNkulunkulu ngendlela ephumelelayo. Futhi wayebakhathalela ngobuqotho abazalwane nodadewabo abangokomoya.—1 Korinte 4:17; Filipi 2:19, 20.

Ngakho-ke, esikhathini esizayo lapho uqhathaniswa kabi, zibuze, ‘Ingabe kuyafaneleka yini?’ Uma likhona iqiniso kulokho okushiwoyo, zama ukufunda kukho. Nokho, uma kuwukuqhathaniswa nje okungaqondile—njengokuthi, “Kungani ungafani nomfowenu?”—zama ukuyihlaziya leyo nkulumo. Zama ngakho konke okusemandleni akho ukuthola okuhle lapho uqhathaniswa.

UJehova uNkulunkulu akabheki ukubaluleka kwakho ngokukuqhathanisa nomunye umuntu ongaphelele. (Galathiya 6:4) Ubheka ngalé kokubukeka kwangaphandle futhi uyaqonda ukuthi uluhlobo luni lomuntu ngaphakathi. (1 Samuweli 16:7) Ngempela, uJehova akaboni nje ukuthi ungubani kuphela kodwa ubona nalokho ozama ukuba yikho. (Hebheru 4:12, 13) Uyabonelela lapho uhluleka futhi ubheka okuhle kuwe. (IHubo 130:3, 4) Ukwazi la maqiniso nje kungakusiza ukwazi ukubhekana nokuqhathaniswa nabanye.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

Izihloko ezengeziwe zochungechunge oluthi “Intsha Iyabuza . . . ” zingatholakala engosini ye-Internet ethi www.watchtower.org/ype

OKUDINGA UKUCATSHANGELWA

◼ Iziphi izinhlobo zokuqhathaniswa ezivame ukukucasula?

◼ Uma abazali bakho bekuqhathanisa nabanye njalo, uyobhekana kanjani naleso simo?

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 12]

“Ngingakhetha ukuba lowo ongelulekayo angalisho igama lomunye umuntu athi, ‘Kufanele ufane nosibanibani,’ kodwa, amane aqale asho izimfanelo zami ezinhle ngemva kwalokho ngendlela enothando angisize ukuba ngibone ubuthakathaka bami.”—UNatalie

[Isithombe ekhasini 13]

Ungase ufune ukuyichaza ngenhlonipho indlela ukuqhathaniswa okukwenza uzizwe ngayo