Ingabe Uziqhathanisa Nabanye?

SONKE sike sahlangana nomuntu omuhle kunathi, obonakala ethandwa kakhudlwana, onengqondo esheshe ibambe izinto, noma ongumfundi ophumelela kakhudlwana kunathi esikoleni. Mhlawumbe abanye banempilo enhle noma banomsebenzi owanelisa kakhudlwana, baphumelela kakhudlwana, noma babonakala benabangane abaningana. Bangase babe nezinto eziningi, imali ethé xaxa, imoto entsha kunesinayo, noma bangase nje babonakale bejabule kakhudlwana kunathi. Lapho siphawula lezi zinto, ingabe siziqhathanisa nabanye? Kuyinto engenakugwemeka yini ukuziqhathanisa nabanye? Kungani kungase kube kuhle ukuba umKristu akugweme? Futhi singaneliseka kanjani ngaphandle kokuziqhathanisa nabanye abantu?

Okwenza Siziqhathanise Nabanye, Nezimo Esingaziqhathanisa Kuzo

Esinye isizathu okuthiwa singenza abantu baziqhathanise nabanye ukuthi kubenza bangazenyezi. Abantu bavame ukwaneliseka lapho bebona ukuthi baphumelela njengontanga yabo. Kuthiwa esinye isizathu esenza siziqhathanise nabanye ukuthi siyaye sizizwe sizethemba, sibone ukuthi nathi singakwazi ukwenza izinto ezithile, sibone nalokho esingeke sikwazi ukukwenza. Sibheka izinto abanye abazifinyelele. Uma labo bantu befana nathi ngezindlela eziningi futhi befinyelele imigomo ethile, singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi nathi singayifinyelela leyo migomo.

Lapho abantu beziqhathanisa nabanye, bavame ukuziqhathanisa nabantu abafana nabo—abantu bobulili obufanayo, ontanga yabo, abantu abazana nabo, nabantu abasezingeni elifana nelabo emphakathini. Akuvamile ukuba siziqhathanise nomuntu esicabanga ukuthi asifani neze naye. Ngokwesibonelo, cishe intombazanyana eseyintsha ayinakuziqhathanisa nomkhangisi wengqephu ongusaziwayo, kunalokho iziqhathanisa nontanga yayo basesikoleni, kanti naye umkhangisi wengqephu cishe akanakuziqhathanisa nentombazanyana eseyintsha.

Kukuziphi izici lapho siziqhathanisa khona nabanye? Singase siziqhathanise nabanye ezintweni ezibonakalayo noma ezintweni ezibhekwa njengeziyigugu emphakathini—kungaba ukuhlakanipha, ubuhle, imali, nezingubo zokugqoka. Nokho, sithambekele ekuziqhathaniseni nabanye kuye ngokuthi yini esiyithandayo. Ngokwesibonelo, cishe ngeke sihalele izitembu eziningi umngane wethu aziqongelele, ngaphandle kokuthi nathi sikuthanda ngokukhethekile ukuqongelela izitembu.

Ukuziqhathanisa nabanye kuvusa imizwelo ehlukahlukene, kusukela kowokwaneliseka kuya kowokucindezeleka, kusukela kowokubathanda abanye nokufisa ukubalingisa kuye kowokungajabulisisi noma kowobutha. Eminye yale mizwelo iyingozi, futhi ayihambisani nezimfanelo zobuKristu.

Ukuziqhathanisa Nabanye Ngenjongo Yokuncintisana Nabo

Abaningi abalwela ukubadlisela ogageni labo abaziqhathanisa nabo babonisa umoya wokuncintisana. Bafuna ukuba ngcono kunabanye, futhi abadeli kuze kube yilapho bezizwa ukuthi bangcono. Akujabulisi ukuba phakathi kwabantu abanjalo. Kulukhuni ukuqhuba ubungane nabo futhi kunzima ukuba nobuhlobo nabo. Abantu abanjalo abagcini nje ngokuntula ukuthobeka, kodwa futhi bavame ukuhluleka ukusebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli sokuthanda omunye umuntu, ngoba indlela abenza ngayo izinto ivele yenze abanye bazizwe bebancane futhi bejabhile.—Mathewu 18:1-5; Johane 13:34, 35.

Ngomqondo othile, lapho abantu benziwa bazizwe beyizehluleki bayalimala. Omunye umlobi uthi, “sizibona siyizehluleki nakakhulu lapho kubonakala ukuthi abantu esifana nabo ngokwezimo baye bakwazi ukuthola izinto ezibonakalayo esizifunayo nathi.” Ngenxa yalokho, umoya wokuncintisana wenza sibe nomona nomhawu, futhi singamthandisisi umuntu ngenxa yezinto zakhe, ukuchuma kwakhe, isikhundla anaso, idumela analo, amalungelo akhe, njalonjalo. Lokhu kuwuvuthela nakakhulu umoya wokuncintisana okungapheli. IBhayibheli liyakulahla ‘ukubhebhezela ukuncintisana.’—Galathiya 5:26.

Ngokululaza izinto ezifinyelelwe abantu abancintisana nabo, abantu abanomona bazama ukuziduduza njengoba bona basuke sebezenyeza. Lezi zenzo zingase zizwakale zingelutho ngempela, kodwa uma umuntu engavumi ukuthi unalokhu kuthambekela futhi alwe nakho, kungaholela esenzweni esibi sonya. Cabanga ngezindaba ezimbili eziseBhayibhelini ezibonisa indlela abantu abahilelekile ababa nomona ngayo.

Ngesikhathi ehlala phakathi kwamaFilisti, u-Isaka wabusiswa ‘ngemihlambi yezimvu nemihlambi yezinkomo neqembu elikhulu kakhulu lezinceku, kangangokuthi amaFilisti aqala ukumfela umona.’ Ngenxa yalokho, agqiba ngomhlabathi imithombo eyayimbiwe u-Abrahama, uyise ka-Isaka, futhi inkosi yawo yamxosha u-Isaka. (Genesise 26:1-3, 12-16) La maFilisti ayenomona omubi kakhulu. Ayengasenakukumela ukuqhubeka ebuka u-Isaka echuma phakathi kwawo.

Emakhulwini eminyaka kamuva, uDavide wazibonakalisa enobuqhawe empini. Lapho enqoba, abesifazane bakwa-Israyeli babemhalalisela, bahlabelele: “USawule ubulele izinkulungwane zakhe, uDavide yena amashumi ezinkulungwane zakhe.” Nakuba noSawule ayetuswa ngezinga elithile, wabona ukuthi uyahlaziswa uma eqhathaniswa noDavide, futhi wavukwa umona enhliziyweni yakhe. Kusukela lapho inhliziyo kaSawule yaqala ukugaya izibozi. Wazama kaninginingi ukubulala uDavide. Yeka ukuthi kungavuka obunjani ububi emoneni!—1 Samuweli 18:6-11.

Ngakho, kufanele siqaphele uma ukuziqhathanisa kwethu nabanye kuvusa imizwelo efana nomona nokuncintisana lapho sibuka izinto abaphumelele kuzo noma amalungelo abanawo. Lena imizwelo emibi, engahambisani nokucabanga kukaNkulunkulu. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba sihlole ukuthi umuntu angamelana kanjani nemizwelo enjalo, ake sihlole enye into eyenza abantu baziqhathanise nabanye.

Ukuzikala Nokuzizwa Wanelisekile

‘Ingabe ngihlakaniphile, ngiyabukeka, nginekhono, nginomzimba omuhle, ngiyahlonishwa, nginogazi? Futhi kungezinga elingakanani konke lokhu?’ Asivamile ukuma phambi kwesibuko bese sizibuza le mibuzo. Nokho, omunye umlobi wathi “imibuzo enjengale kuyenzeka ithuke ifika ezingqondweni zethu singanakile futhi siyiphendule ngenhliziyo ngendlela esanelisayo.” Umuntu ongaqiniseki ukuthi iziphi izinto angase akwazi ukuzifeza angase acabange ngalokhu kodwa angaziqhathanisi nomunye umuntu futhi angabi namona. Usuke ezifaka esikalini nje. Akukho ngempela okubi ngalokho. Nokho, indlela efanele yokwenza lokhu iwukuba singaziqhathanisi nabanye.

Sinamakhono angefani ngenxa yezici ezihlukahlukene ezingaba imithelela. Kuyohlale kunabantu ababonakala bephumelela kunathi. Ngakho, kunokubafela umona, kufanele silinganise esikwenzayo ngokwezindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu zokulunga, okuyizona ezizichaza kahle izinto ezilungile nezinhle. UJehova uthanda lokhu esiyiko ngabanye. Akudingeki aze asiqhathanise nomunye umuntu. Umphostoli uPawulu uyaseluleka: “Yilowo nalowo makahlole umsebenzi wakhe siqu, khona-ke uyoba nesizathu sokwethaba ngokuqondene naye yedwa, hhayi ngokuziqhathanisa nomunye umuntu.”—Galathiya 6:4.

Ukulwisana Nomona

Ngenxa yokuthi sonke asiphelele kungase kudingeke sizikhandle ngokuqhubekayo ukuze silwisane nomona. Kulula ukuvuma ukuthi imiBhalo ithi: “Ekubonisaneni udumo nihole,” kodwa kunzima ukukwenza lokhu. UPawulu wavuma ukuthi wayethambekele ekwenzeni isono. Ukuze alwisane naso, kwakudingeka ‘awutube umzimba wakhe futhi awuphathe njengesigqila.’ (Roma 12:10; 1 Korinte 9:27) Kithina, lokho kungase kusho ukuthi kufanele simelane nemicabango yokuncintisana, kodwa sibe nemicabango eyakhayo. Kudingeka sithandaze sicele uJehova asisize ukuba ‘singazicabangi sibakhulu kunalokho okudingeka ukuba sikucabange.’—Roma 12:3.

Ukutadisha iBhayibheli nokuzindla kuyasiza nakho. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngePharadesi elizayo elithenjiswe uNkulunkulu. Ngaleso sikhathi, bonke abantu bayoba nokuthula, impilo enhle, inala yokudla, imizi ethokomele, nomsebenzi owanelisayo. (IHubo 46:8, 9; 72:7, 8, 16; Isaya 65:21-23) Ukhona yini oyozizwa efuna ukuncintisana nabanye? Akekho. Ngeke sibe khona isizathu sokwenza lokho. Yiqiniso, uJehova akasinikanga yonke imininingwane yokuthi ukuphila kuyoba njani ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa singasho ukuthi bonke abantu bayokwazi ukuphishekela izinto abanesithakazelo kuzo nemisebenzi abayithandayo. Omunye angase atadishe isayensi yokuhlola izinkanyezi kanti omunye aklame izindwangu ezinhle. Yini engabenza babe nomona ngomunye nomunye? Izinto ezenziwa abantu esiyobe sihlala nabo ziyosishukumisela ukuba sifeze okwengeziwe, ngeke zisenze singabathandisisi. Iyobe ingasekho imizwa enjalo.

Uma sifuna ukuphila ngaleyo ndlela, akufanele yini silwele ukusihlakulela kusemanje isimo sengqondo esinjalo? Kwamanje sijabulela ipharadesi elingokomoya, elingenazo izinkinga ezikhungethe izwe elisizungezile. Njengoba uyobe ungekho umoya wokuncintisana ezweni elisha likaNkulunkulu, kufanele siwugweme nakanjani kusemanje.

Kubi-ke yini ukuziqhathanisa nabanye? Noma kukhona izikhathi lapho ukuziqhathanisa nabanye kungafaneleka khona?

Ukuziqhathanisa Okufanele

Abantu abaningi abaziqhathanisa nabanye bavame ukungajabuli futhi bacindezeleke, kodwa ukuziqhathanisa nabanye akufanele kube naleyo miphumela ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ake uzwe iseluleko somphostoli uPawulu ngale ndaba: “[Yibani] abalingisi balabo okuthi ngokholo nangokubekezela bazuze izithembiso njengefa.” (Hebheru 6:12) Ukulwela ukuhlakulela izimfanelo ezifana nezezinceku zikaJehova ezithembekile zasendulo kungazuzisa. Yiqiniso, lokho kungase kuhilele ukuba siziqhathanise nazo. Kodwa lokho kungasisiza sithole izibonelo esingazilingisa nezici okudingeka sithuthukise kuzo.

Cabanga ngoJonathani. Empeleni, wayenesizathu sokuba nomona. Njengoba ayeyizibulo leNkosi uSawule yakwa-Israyeli, kungenzeka uJonathani wake wakulindela ukuthi uyoba inkosi, kodwa uJehova wakhetha uDavide osemusha, insizwa uJonathani ayidlula ngeminyaka engu-30. Kunokufukamela inzondo, uJonathani waba umngane ongenabugovu kaDavide futhi wamsekela njengoba ayeyinkosi ekhethwe uJehova. UJonathani wayeyindoda engokomoya ngempela. (1 Samuweli 19:1-4) Ngokungafani noyise, owayezibonela isitha kuDavide, uJonathani wabona ukuthi nguJehova owayeqondisa izinto futhi wazithoba entandweni yaKhe; akazange aziqhathanise noDavide, abuze ukuthi, “Kungani kukhethwe uDavide, kungakhethwanga mina?”

Akufanele neze sizizwe sisongelwa uma siphakathi kwamanye amaKristu, njengokungathi abanye bafuna ukusidlula noma ukuthatha indawo yethu. Umbango mubi. AmaKristu avuthiwe abonakala ngokubambisana, ubunye, uthando, hhayi ukuncintisana. Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu, uFrancesco Alberoni, sathi: “Uthando luyisitha esikhulu somona. Uma sithanda othile, simfunela okuhle kodwa, futhi siyajabula lapho ephumelela nalapho ejabula.” Ngakho uma othile ebandleni lobuKristu enikezwa ilungelo elithile, into ewuthando ukuyenza ukwaneliswa yilokho. Wayenjalo uJonathani. Njengaye, siyobusiswa uma sisekela labo abakhonza ngokwethembeka ezikhundleni zokuphatha enhlanganweni kaJehova.

Kuyafaneleka ukufisa ukulingisa isibonelo esihle esibekwa amaKristu esikanye nawo. Ukuziqhathanisa nawo ngendlela esesilinganisweni kungasishukumisela ukuba silingise ukholo lwawo ngendlela engalimazi. (Hebheru 13:7) Kodwa uma singaqaphile, ukulingisa abanye kungashintsha kube ukuncintisana. Uma sinomuzwa wokuthi umuntu othile esimhloniphayo uyasidlula, bese sizama ukumlulaza noma ukumgxeka, siyobe asimlingisi neze, kodwa siyobe simfela umona.

Akekho umuntu ongaphelele ongaba isibonelo esiphelele. Ngakho, imiBhalo ithi: “Yibani ngabalingisi bakaNkulunkulu, njengabantwana abathandekayo.” Ibuye ithi, “[U]Kristu wahlupheka ngenxa yenu, enishiyela isibonelo sokuba nilandele izinyathelo zakhe eduze.” (Efesu 5:1, 2; 1 Petru 2:21) Kufanele silwele ukulingisa izimfanelo zikaJehova noJesu—uthando lwabo, imfudumalo, uzwela nokuthobeka. Kufanele sizinike isikhathi sokuzikala sisebenzisa izimfanelo zabo, izinjongo, nezindlela zabo zokwenza izinto. Ukuziqhathanisa nabo kanjalo kungacebisa ukuphila kwethu, kusinike isiqondiso esingasethemba, ukuzola, nokulondeka, futhi kungasisiza sifinyelele izinga eliphakeme lokuba amadoda nabesifazane abangamaKristu avuthiwe. (Efesu 4:13) Uma sizimisela ukwenza konke esingakwenza ukuze silingise isibonelo sabo esiphelele, ngeke sithambekele ekuziqhathaniseni nabanye abantu.

[Isithombe ekhasini 28, 29]

INkosi uSawule yamfela umona uDavide

[Isithombe ekhasini 31]

UJonathani akazange ambheke njengesitha uDavide osemusha