Ukukhulisa Izingane Kusukela Ziseyizinsana Zize Zikhule
“Kuze kube yilapho izingane zakho sezineminyaka emihlanu, zisuke ziphakathi komhlane nembeleko, zizungezwe amalunga omkhaya futhi kusuke kulula nokugxilisa izimfanelo ezinhle kuzo. Kodwa zaqala ukuya esikoleni, zichayeka ezindleleni ezihlukahlukene zokwenza izinto nokukhuluma.”—UValter, e-Italy.
NJENGOBA izingane zikhula, zifunda izinto ezihlukahlukene. Zixhumana nabantu abaningi—izingane ezidlala nazo, ezifunda nazo kanye nezihlobo. Njengoba uValter ocashunwe ngenhla ephawula, ngeke kusaba nguwe wedwa othonya ukuphila kwengane yakho njengoba bekunjalo ngenkathi isewusana. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuba usebenzise le minyaka ukuze uyifundise ukubaluleka kokulalela nokuhlonipha abanye. Kubalulekile nokuyinikeza iziqondiso ngokulungile nokungalungile.
Ukuba nala makhono okukhulunywa ngawo akusheshi futhi akuzenzakaleli. Cishe kuyodingeka “usole, ukhuze, ukhuthaze, ngakho konke ukubekezela nekhono lokufundisa.” (2 Thimothewu 4:2) Abazali abangama-Israyeli bayalwa ngokuqondene nomthetho kaNkulunkulu: “Kumelwe uwagxilise kubantwana bakho futhi ukhulume ngawo lapho uhleli endlini yakho nalapho uhamba endleleni nalapho ulala nalapho uvuka.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Njengoba lo mBhalo ubonisa, kubalulekile ukuba uqhubeke uyifundisa ingane.
Umthwalo wokukhulisa izingane unezinselele eziningi. Ake sihlole ezimbalwa zazo.
Isikhathi Sokulalela
IBhayibheli lithi nakuba sikhona ‘isikhathi sokukhuluma,’ sikhona nesikhathi sokulalela. (UmShumayeli 3:7) Ungayifundisa kanjani ingane yakho ukubanaka abanye lapho bekhuluma—kuhlanganise nawe? Enye indlela ukuyibekela isibonelo. Ingabe wena ubalalela ngokucophelela abanye, kuhlanganise nezingane zakho?
Izingane zingaphazamiseka kalula futhi akungabazeki ukuthi isineke sakho siyovivinyeka njengoba uzama ukukhuluma nazo. Izingane azifani, ngakho nakisisa futhi unqume ukuthi iziphi izindlela eziphumelela kangcono zokukhuluma nengane yakho. Ngokwesibonelo, uDavid waseBrithani ongubaba uthi: “Ngiyaye ngithi indodakazi yethu ayingitshele ukuthi ngitheni. Ngenxa yalokho, ilalela kakhudlwana njengoba ikhula.”
Lapho uJesu efundisa abalandeli bakhe, wabatshela: “Nakani indlela enilalela ngayo.” (Luka 8:18) Uma abantu abadala kufanele benze kanjalo, kuthiwani-ke ngezingane!
“Nithethelelana Ngokukhululekile”
IBhayibheli lithi: “Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma umuntu enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye.” (Kolose 3:13) Izingane zingaqeqeshwa ukuba zithuthukise ikhono lokuthethelela. Kanjani?
Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla ngokuqondene nekhono lokulalela, kudingeka ubeke isibonelo. Izingane zakho mazikubone ukuthi ungumuntu obaxolelayo abanye. UMarina waseRussia ongumama, wenza umzamo wokwenza lokho. Uthi: “Sizama ukuzibekela isibonelo esihle izingane zethu ngokuxolela abanye, ukuvumelana nabo ngezinye izikhathi nokungathukutheliswa izenzo zabo.” Uyenezela: “Uma ngenze iphutha, ngiyaxolisa ezinganeni zami. Ngifuna zifunde ukwenza okufanayo lapho zisebenzelana nabanye.”
Uma sezikhulile kuyodingeka zibe nekhono lokuxazulula ukungezwani futhi zithethelele. Ziqeqeshe manje izingane zakho ukuba zibacabangele abanye futhi ziwavume amaphutha azo. Ngokwenza kanjalo, uyobe uzipha isipho esibalulekile esiyozisiza njengoba zikhula.
“Zibonakaliseni Ningababongayo”
Kulezi ‘zikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo,’ abantu abaningi ‘bayazithanda.’ (2 Thimothewu 3:1, 2) Manje yiso isikhathi sokuba ufundise izingane zakho ukubonga, njengoba zisencane. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Ziboniseni ningababongayo.”—Kolose 3:15.
Ngisho noma zisencane, izingane zingafunda ukubaphatha ngenhlonipho abanye nokubacabangela. Kanjani? “Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuze ufundise izingane zakho ukubonga, ukuba ungakhathali ukukwenza wena ngokwakho ekhaya,” kusho uDkt. Kyle Pruett kumagazini i-Parents. Uyenezela: “Lokhu kusho ukuthi uhlale usho ukuthi ulwazisa kangakanani usizo oluthola kwabanye noma ezinye izenzo zokucabangela . . . Kudinga umzamo ophindaphindiwe.”
URichard waseBrithani ongubaba, ulwela ukwenza lokho, uthi: “Mina nomkami siyazibonisa izingane zethu ukuthi singababonga kanjani labo abasibonise umusa, njengothisha noma umkhulu nogogo. Noma nini lapho simenywe umkhaya othile ukuba sizodla nawo, sibhala ikhadi lokubonga futhi ingane ngayinye ilisayine noma idwebe isithombe.” Ukuba nomusa nokubonga kuyoyisiza ingane yakho ukuba yakhe ubuhlobo obuseduze nobuhlala njalo lapho isikhulile.
“Ungasigodli Isiyalo”
Njengoba izingane zakho zikhula, kubalulekile ukuba zifunde ukuthi izenzo zinemiphumela. Ngisho nalapho zisencane, izingane kufanele zilandise kwabanegunya, hhayi ekhaya nje kuphela kodwa nasesikoleni nasemphakathini. Ungazisiza zifunde isimiso sokuthi umuntu uvuna akutshalile. (Galathiya 6:7) Kanjani?
IBhayibheli lithi: ‘Ungasigodli isiyalo.’ (IzAga 23:13) Uma ubukwenze kwacaca ukuthi isenzo esithile esingalungile siyoba nomphumela othile, ungesabi ukwenza ngokwezwi lakho. UNorma wase-Argentina ongumama, uthi: “Ukungaguquguquki kubalulekile. Ukuguquguquka kwenza ingane izenzele umathanda.”
Abazali bangenza lukhulu ukuze bagweme ukuhilizisana nengane ngemva kokuba yenze okungalungile ngokuba baqiniseke ukuthi izingane zabo zazi kusengaphambili ukuthi kuyokwenzekani uma zingalaleli. Mancane amathuba okuba izingane zigoloze uma ziyazi imithetho zazi nokuthi kuyokwenzekani uma ziyephula noma zinesizathu sokukholelwa ukuthi imiphumela ngeke iguquke.
Yiqiniso ukuthi ukuze iseluleko siphumelele akufanele sikhishwe ngentukuthelo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Makususwe kini konke ukufutheka okubi nentukuthelo nolaka nokuklabalasa nokuhlambalaza.” (Efesu 4:31) Iseluleko akufanele nanini sibe isijeziso esinonya futhi akufanele nanini sihlukumeze—kungaba ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo.
Kodwa ungakwazi kanjani ukuzibamba uma ingane ikucasulile? UPeter waseNew Zealand ongubaba, uyavuma, “Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi kodwa izingane kufanele zifunde ukuthi iseluleko siwumphumela wezenzo zazo hhayi wokuhluleka komzali ukuzibamba.”
UPeter nomkakhe bazama ukusiza izingane zabo zibone izinzuzo ezihlala njalo zokwelulekwa. Uthi: “Ngisho noma ingane yenze into ecasula kakhulu, sixoxa nayo mayelana nohlobo lomuntu okufanele ibe yilo kunokuthi yenze into embi kangakanani.”
“Ukucabangela Kwenu Makwaziwe”
Ekhuluma ngesiyalo ayezosinika abantu bakhe, uNkulunkulu wathi: “Kuzodingeka ngikujezise ngezinga elifanelekile.” (Jeremiya 46:28) Uyothola imiphumela emihle uma ukhipha iseluleko esifanele nesilingana nobubi obenziwe. UPawulu wabhalela amaKristu: “Ukucabangela kwenu makwaziwe.”—Filipi 4:5.
Ukucabangela kuhlanganisa nokukhipha iseluleko ngendlela engazilulazi izingane. USanti wase-Italy ongubaba, uthi: “Angilokothi ngiyilulaze indodana yami noma indodakazi yami. Kunalokho ngizama ukuthola umnyombo wenkinga bese ngilungisa wona. Uma kungenzeka, angizithethisi izingane zami phambi kwabantu, ngisho naphambi kwezinye. Angihlekisi nangamaphutha azo phambi kwabanye noma lapho sisodwa.”
URichard ocashunwe ekuqaleni, naye uyakubona ukuhlakanipha kokuba ocabangelayo. Uthi: “Ingane akufanele ijeziselwe icala phezu kwelinye, njalo lapho yonile kubalwe namaphutha angaphambili. Ngemva kokuyiyala, kubalulekile ukuba ungalokhu ukhuluma ngaleyo ndaba futhi ulokhu uyikhumbuza ngamaphutha ayo.”
Ukukhulisa izingane kuwumsebenzi onzima ohilela ukuzidela kodwa oletha imivuzo ecebile. Yilokho kanye uYelena waseRussia ongumama, akuthola. Uthi: “Ngikhethe ukubamba amatoho ukuze ngikwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esithe xaxa nendodana yami. Kudinga ukuzikhandla futhi kukulahlekisela nemali. Kodwa ukuzidela kwami kuyafaneleka uma ngibheka indlela indodana yami ethokoza ngayo nendlela esisondelene ngayo.”
[Isithombe ekhasini 11]
Izingane zingafunda ukubacabangela abanye
[Isithombe ekhasini 12]
Yeluleka izingane zakho ngendlela yokuba zingalahlekelwa ukuzihlonipha