Indlela Yokuncoma Izingane

INSELELE

Abanye abantu bathi akunakwenzeka ukuthi uncome ingane yakho ngokwedlulele. Abanye bathi ukuyincoma njalo ingane kungayilimaza kuyenze izizwe inegunya, njengokungathi ikweletwa okuthile.

Ngaphandle kokuthi uyincoma kangakanani ingane yakho kumelwe ucabange nangokuthi uyincoma kanjani. Ukuncoma okunjani okuzoyikhuthaza? Okunjani okungase kuyilimaze? Ungayincoma kanjani ngendlela ezoveza imiphumela emihle?

OKUFANELE UKWAZI

Ukuncoma akufani. Cabanga ngalokhu okulandelayo.

Ukuncoma ngokwedlulele kungalimaza. Abanye abazali bamane bazincome ngokwedlulele izingane ngoba bezama ukuzenza zizethembe kakhudlwana. Kodwa izingane “zihlakaniphe ngokwanele ukubona lapho zinconywa ngendlela eyihaba futhi ziphetha ngokuthi ziyakhohliswa,” kuxwayisa udokotela uDavid Walsh. “Ziyazi ukuthi bekungafanele [zinconywe] ngezikwenzile, futhi lokho kuzincoma kwakho kungazenza zingakwethembi.”a

Kungcono ukuyincoma ngenxa yamakhono ayo. Ake sithi indodakazi yakho inekhono lokudweba. Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukuyincoma ngalo, okungayikhuthaza ukuba ililole nakakhulu. Kodwa kungase kube nenkinga. Ukuncoma ikhono layo kuphela, kungase kuyenze icabange ukuthi amakhono okumelwe iwaphishekele yilawo atholakala kalula. Ingase igweme ukufunda izinto ezintsha, yesaba ukuthi izohluleka. Ingase icabange, ‘Uma into idinga umzamo owengeziwe, kusho ukuthi akuyona eyami​—ngakho kungani kumelwe ngizame?’

Kungcono nakakhulu ukuyincoma ngenxa yemizamo yayo. Izingane ezinconywa ngenxa yokusebenza kanzima nokuphikelela, kunokunconyelwa amakhono ezinawo, zifunda iqiniso elibalulekile​—eliwukuthi ukuzuza amakhono kudinga ukubekezela nomzamo. Incwadi ethi Letting Go With Love and Confidence ithi, ukwazi lokho kuzenza “zikusebenzele ukuthola imiphumela eziyifunayo. Ngisho noma zingasilela kancane, azizibheki njengezehluleki kodwa njengabafundi.”

ONGAKWENZA

Ncoma umzamo hhayi nje ikhono. Ukutshela ingane yakho ukuthi, “Ngiyabona ukuthi ucabangisise kahle ngomdwebo wakho,” kungayikhuthaza kakhulu kunokumane uthi, “Unesiphiwo sokudweba.” Zombili lezi zinkulumo ziyancoma, kodwa kweyesibili ungaqondile ungase usikisele ukuthi amakhono ezalwe nawo yiwo kuphela ezokwenza kahle kuwo.

Lapho uncoma umzamo wengane, uyifundisa ukuthi ikhono ingalithuthukisa ngokuqhubeka izama. Ingane yakho ingakwazi ukufunda izinto ezintsha ngokuzethemba.​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 14:23.

Siza ingane yakho ibhekane nokwehluleka. Ngisho nabantu abenza kahle bayawenza amaphutha, mhlawumbe ngokuphindaphindiwe. (IzAga 24:16) Kodwa ngemva kwephutha ngalinye, bafunda okuthile kulo baqhubeke nokuphila. Ungayisiza kanjani ingane yakho ukuba ihlakulele le ndlela enhle yokubheka izinto?

Nalapha futhi, gxila emzamweni. Cabanga ngalesi sibonelo: Ake sithi uvame ukutshela indodakazi yakho ukuthi, “Unesiphiwo esingokwemvelo sokwenza izibalo,” bese ivele ingaphumeleli esivivinyweni sezibalo. Ingase iphethe ngokuthi ayisenaso isiphiwo, manje kungani kumelwe izame ukuthuthuka?

Nokho, lapho ugxila emzamweni uqinisa ukuzimisela kwengane. Usiza indodakazi yakho ukuba ingabheki isithiyo njengenhlekelele. Ngakho, kunokudikibala ingase izame enye indlela noma isebenze kakhudlwana.​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: Jakobe 3:2.

Sikisela ngendlela eyakhayo. Lapho kwenziwa ngendlela efanele, ukuyisola ingane yakho kuyoyisiza ngeke kuyilimaze. Futhi, uma uvame ukuyincoma lapho kufanele, maningi amathuba okuba yamukele umbono wakho ngendlela engathuthuka ngayo. Kanjalo, lokho ekwazi ukukufeza kuyoba umthombo wokwaneliseka kuyo nakuwe.​—Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 13:4.