Ilobolo Elibonisa Ukucabangela

NAMUHLA, njengasezikhathini zeBhayibheli, kwamanye amasiko kudingeka ukuba owesilisa akhokhe ilobolo ngaphambi kokuba ashade nowesifazane. UJakobe wathi kumukhwe wakhe wangesikhathi esizayo, uLabani: “Ngizakukusebenzela iminyaka eyisikhombisa ngoRaheli indodakazi yakho encane.” (Genesise 29:18) Ngenxa yokuthi uJakobe wayemthanda uRaheli, wathembisa inani elikhulu—elilingana neholo leminyaka engu-7! ULabani wakwamukela lokho kodwa waphamba uJakobe ngokumenza aqale ashade nendodakazi yakhe endala, uLeya. Indlela uLabani asebenzelana ngayo noJakobe ngemva kwalokho yaqhubeka inokukhohlisa. (Genesise 31:41) Ukugcizelela kukaLabani inzuzo yezinto ezibonakalayo kwabangela ukuba amadodakazi akhe angabe esamhlonipha. Abuza: “Asibalwanga njengabafokazi na? Ngokuba wathengisa ngathi, waqeda intengo yethu.”—Genesise 31:15.

Ngokudabukisayo, ezweni lanamuhla elithanda izinto ezibonakalayo, abazali abaningi bafana noLabani. Futhi abanye babi nakakhulu. Ngokwephephandaba elithile lase-Afrika, kweminye imishado kuxoxiswana ngomshado “ngenjongo nje yokuba obaba abanobugovu bathole inzuzo.” Ukucindezela kwezomnotho kungesinye isici esifaka abazali abathile esilingweni sokuba babheke amadodakazi abo njengendlela yokwenza ngcono izinkinga zezimali.a

Abanye abazali bavimbela amadodakazi abo ukuba ashade ngoba belindele ozovela nelobolo elikhulu kakhulu. Lokhu kungabangela izinkinga ezinkulu. Intatheli yephephandaba esempumalanga ye-Afrika yabhala: “Abantu abasha bakhetha ukweqa bayozishadela bodwa ukuze babalekele ilobolo elikhulu elifunwa abazali abalukhuni bakubo kamkhwenyana.” Ukuziphatha okubi ngokobulili kungenye yezinkinga ezibangelwa ukufunwa kwelobolo elikhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye besilisa abasebasha bayaphumelela ukulobola inkosikazi kodwa basale besezikweletini ezinkulu. “Abazali kumelwe babe abacabangelayo,” kunxusa esinye isisebenzi sezenhlalakahle saseNingizimu Afrika. “Akufanele bafune imali enkulu. Umbhangqwana osanda kushada kudingeka uphile . . . Ngakho kungani bephundla lona wesilisa?”

Abazali abangamaKristu bangasibeka kanjani isibonelo sokuba abacabangelayo lapho bexoxa ngokukhokhwa noma ngokwamukelwa kwelobolo? Lokhu kuyindaba engathi sína, ngoba iBhayibheli liyayala: “Ukuba nengqondo kwenu makwaziwe yibo bonke abantu.”—Filipi 4:5.

Izimiso ZeBhayibheli Ezibonisa Ukucabangela

Kuyisinqumo sabo siqu abazali abangamaKristu ukuthi bayaxoxa ngelobolo noma cha. Uma bekhetha ukwenza kanjalo, izingxoxo ezinjalo kufanele zenziwe ngokuvumelana nezimiso zeBhayibheli. IZwi likaNkulunkulu lithi: “Indlela yenu yokuphila mayingabi nalo uthando lwemali.” (Heberu 13:5) Uma lesi simiso singabonakali ezingxoxweni zomshado, kungase kube ukuthi umzali ongumKristu ubonisa ukuthi akasona isibonelo esihle. Amadoda anesikhundla somthwalo wemfanelo ebandleni lobuKristu kufanele abe “nengqondo,” angabi ‘abathandi bemali’ noma ‘ahahele inzuzo yokungathembeki.’ (1 Thimothewu 3:3, 8) UmKristu obiza ilobolo elikhulu ngobugovu futhi angaphenduki angase asuswe ngisho nokususwa ekuhlanganyeleni nebandla.—1 Korinte 5:11, 13; 6:9, 10.

Ngenxa yezinkinga ezibangelwa ubugovu, abanye ohulumeni baye bamisa imithetho ebeka isilinganiso esithile ngokuphathelene nelobolo. Ngokwesibonelo, umthetho waseTogo, ezweni eliseNtshonalanga ye-Afrika, uthi ilobolo “lingakhokhwa ngempahla noma ngemali noma ngakho kokubili.” Lo mthetho uyanezela: “Akufanele nanini ukuba inani lidlule isamba sika-10 000 F CFA [R100].” Ngokuphindaphindiwe, iBhayibheli liyala amaKristu ukuba abe izakhamuzi ezilalela umthetho. (Thithu 3:1) Ngisho noma uhulumeni engaqikeleli ukuthi umthetho onjalo uyagcinwa, umKristu weqiniso uyofuna ukulalela. Ngakho uyolondoloza unembeza omuhle phambi kukaNkulunkulu futhi ngeke abe isikhubekiso kwabanye.—Roma 13:1, 5; 1 Korinte 10:32, 33.

Ubani Onomthwalo Wemfanelo Wokuxoxisana?

Kwamanye amasiko, indlela okuxoxiswana ngayo ngelobolo ingase ingqubuzane nesinye isimiso esibalulekile. NgokweBhayibheli, ubaba unomthwalo wemfanelo wokunakekela izindaba zomkhaya wakhe. (1 Korinte 11:3; Kolose 3:18, 20) Ngakho-ke, labo abasezikhundleni zomthwalo wemfanelo ebandleni kufanele babe amadoda “angamela abantwana nezindlu zawo siqu ngendlela enhle.”—1 Thimothewu 3:12.

Nokho, kungase kube okuvamile emphakathini ukuba izingxoxo ezibalulekile zomshado ziphathiswe izihlobo zenhloko yomkhaya. Futhi lezi zihlobo zifuna ingxenye ethile yelobolo. Lokhu kubeka uvivinyo emikhayeni yamaKristu. Zilandela amasiko, ezinye izinhloko zemikhaya zivumela izihlobo ezingakholwa ukuba zibize ilobolo elikhulu. Lokhu ngezinye izikhathi kuye kwaholela ekubeni intombazane engumKristu ishade nomuntu ongakholwa. Lokho kuphambene nomyalo othi amaKristu kufanele ashade “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Inhloko yomkhaya evumela izihlobo ezingakholwa ukuba zenze izinqumo ezilimaza inhlalakahle engokomoya yezingane zayo ayinakubhekwa ‘njengeyengamela indlu yayo siqu ngendlela enhle.’—1 Thimothewu 3:4.

Njengasesimweni senzalamizi eyesaba uNkulunkulu u-Abrahama, kuthiwani uma ubaba ongumKristu engahlanganyeli ngokuqondile ezingxoxweni zomshado wenye yezingane zakhe? (Genesise 24:2-4) Uma kunomunye okhethwe ukuba enze kanjalo, ubaba ongumKristu kufanele aqikelele ukuthi lowo ohileleke engxoxweni ulandela iziqondiso ezivumelana nezimiso zeBhayibheli ezibonisa ukucabangela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaphambi kokuba kuqalwe ukuxoxa ngelobolo, abazali abangamaKristu kufanele bacabangisise ngale ndaba futhi bangazivumeli ukuba bathatheke ngenxa yamasiko noma izimfuneko ezingacabangeli.—IzAga 22:3.

Ukugwema Izici Ezingabonisi UbuKristu

IBhayibheli liyakulahla ukuzikhukhumeza “nokugabisa ngokokuziphilisa komuntu.” (1 Johane 2:16; IzAga 21:4) Nokho, abathile abahlanganyela nebandla lobuKristu baye babonisa lezi zici ezingxoxweni zabo zomshado. Abanye balingisa izwe ngokubukisa ngokukhokhwa noma ngokwamukelwa kwelobolo elikhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, elinye lamahhovisi egatsha e-Watch Tower Society e-Afrika liyabika: “Lapho ekhweni beye baba abacabangelayo lapho bebiza [ilobolo], amanye amadoda awazange abonise inhlonipho, abheka omkawo njengabathengwe ngenani ‘lembuzi.’”

AmaKristu athile aye aba nobugovu bokubiza ilobolo elikhulu futhi lokho kuye kwaholela emiphumeleni eyinhlekelele. Ngokwesibonelo, cabangela lo mbiko ovela kwelinye ihhovisi legatsha le-Watch Tower Society: “Ngokuvamile kunzima ngabazalwane abangashadile ukuba bashade noma ngodade ukuba bathole abangane bomshado. Lokhu kuphumela enanini elandayo labasuswa ekuhlanganyeleni ngenxa yokuziphatha okubi ngokobulili. Abanye abazalwane baya ezimayini beyofuna igolide noma idayimane abangalithengisa ukuze babe nemali eyanele yokushada. Lokhu kungase kubathathe unyaka noma iminyaka emibili noma ngaphezulu, futhi ngokuvamile baba buthaka ngokomoya njengoba beyeka ukuhlangana nabafowethu nebandla.”

Ukuze bagweme imiphumela edabukisa ngale ndlela, abazali abangamaKristu kufanele balandele isibonelo salabo abavuthiwe ebandleni. Nakuba ayengeyena umzali, umphostoli uPawulu wayecabangela lapho esebenzelana nalabo ayekholwa nabo. Wayeqaphela ukuba agweme ukuthwesa noma ubani izindleko ezinkulu. (IzEnzo 20:33) Ngokuqinisekile, abazali abangamaKristu kufanele bacabangele isibonelo sakhe sokungabi nabugovu lapho beba nezingxoxo zelobolo. Eqinisweni, uPawulu waphefumulelwa ngokwaphezulu ukuba abhale: “Ngobunye yibani abalingisi bami, bafowethu, futhi niqaphele labo abahamba ngendlela evumelana nesibonelo eninaso esiyithi.”—Filipi 3:17.

Izibonelo Zokucabangela

Lapho kuziwa ezingxoxweni zomshado, abazali abaningi abangamaKristu baye babeka isibonelo esihle sokuba abacabangelayo. Cabangela indaba kaJoseph nomkakhe, uMae,b abakhonza njengabashumayeli bevangeli besikhathi esigcwele. Bahlala kwesinye seziqhingi zaseSolomon Islands lapho izingxoxo zelobolo ziba inkinga ngezinye izikhathi. Ukuze bagweme izinkinga ezinjalo, uJoseph noMae bahlela ukuba indodakazi yabo uHelen ishadele esiqhingini esakhelene nesabo. Benza okufanayo nangenye indodakazi yabo, u-Esther. UJoseph wavuma nokuthi umkhwenyana wakwakhe uPeter akhokhe ilobolo elincane kakhulu kunalelo ebelingabhekwa njengelibonisa ukucabangela. Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi kungani ayenze kanjalo, uJoseph wachaza: “Bengingafuni ukubangela umkhwenyana wakwami oyiphayona umthwalo.”

OFakazi BakaJehova abaningi base-Afrika nabo baye babeka isibonelo esihle sokucabangela. Kwezinye izindawo, ngokuvamile amalungu omndeni alindela ukuba akhokhelwe imali eningi ngaphambi kwezingxoxo zangempela zelobolo. Futhi ukuze aqiniseke ukuthi uzomthola umakoti, umkhwenyana kungase kulindeleke ukuba athembise ukuthi uzokhokha ilobolo langesikhathi esizayo lomfowabo omncane walowo azoshada naye.

Ngokuphambene, cabangela isibonelo sikaKossi nomkakhe, uMara. Indodakazi yabo, uBeboko, muva nje ishade nombonisi ojikelezayo woFakazi BakaJehova. Ngaphambi komshado, izihlobo zabacindezela kakhulu abazali, zifuna ingxenye yazo yelobolo elikhulu. Nokho, lo mbhangqwana wama uqinile futhi awuzange wenze ngokuvumelana nalokho ezazikufuna. Kunalokho, waxoxa ngokuqondile nomkhwenyana wawo wangesikhathi esizayo, wacela ilobolo elincane ngendodakazi yawo wabe usubuyisela ingxenye yalo kulo mbhangqwana osemusha ukuze uyisebenzisele usuku lwawo lomshado.

Esinye isibonelo sakulelo lizwe sihilela uFakazi osemusha okuthiwa u-Itongo. Ekuqaleni, umkhaya wakubo wacela ilobolo elibonisa ukucabangela. Kodwa izihlobo zafuna ukuba leyo mali yengezwe. Isimo sasishubile, futhi kwakubonakala sengathi izihlobo zazingase ziphumelele. Nakuba ayenamahloni ngokwemvelo, u-Itongo wasukuma futhi washo ngenhlonipho ukuthi wayezimisele ukushada nomKristu oshisekayo okuthiwa uSanze, ngokwalokho okwase kuhleliwe. Ngesibindi, wabe esethi, “Mbi ke” (okusho ukuthi, “Indaba isiqediwe”) futhi wahlala phansi. Unina ongumKristu, uSambeko wamsekela. Akubange kusaqhutshekwa nengxoxo, futhi lo mbhangqwana washada ngendlela okwakuhlelwe ngayo ekuqaleni.

Kunezinto abazali abanothando abangamaKristu abazikhathalela kakhulu kunokuzuza ilobolo. Indoda ethile eCameroon yachaza: “Umkhwekazi wami usebenzisa wonke amathuba ukuba angitshele ukuthi noma yini ebengifuna ukumnika yona njengelobolo, kufanele ngiyisebenzisele ukunakekela izidingo zendodakazi yakhe.” Abazali abanothando bakhathalela nenhlalakahle engokomoya yezingane zabo. Ngokwesibonelo, cabangela uFarai noRudo, abahlala eZimbabwe futhi abasebenzisa isikhathi sabo esiningi emsebenzini wokushumayela izindaba ezinhle zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu. Nakuba bengatholi holo lomsebenzi wokuziphilisa, bashadisa amadodakazi abo amabili ngelobolo eliphansi kakhulu kwalelo elivame ukufunwa. Sasiyini isizathu sabo? Babefuna amadodakazi abo azuze ngokushada namadoda amthanda ngempela uJehova. Bachaza: “Esasikubheka njengokubaluleke kakhulu kwakuyingokomoya lamadodakazi ethu nelabakhwenyana bethu.” Yeka ukuthi kuqabula kanjani! Abantu basekhweni ababonisa ukukhathalela kothando ngenhlalakahle engokomoya neyezinto ezibonakalayo yezingane zabo ezishadayo kumelwe batuswe kakhulu.

Izinzuzo Zokuba Ocabangelayo

UJoseph noMae baseSolomon Islands babusiswa ngenxa yokusingatha imishado yamadodakazi abo ngendlela ebonisa ukuphana nangokucophelela. Ngakho, abakhwenyana babo abazange bangene ezikweletini. Kunalokho, yomibili le mibhangqwana iye yakwazi ukusebenza iminyaka eminingi emsebenzini wesikhathi esigcwele wokusakaza isigijimi soMbuso. Lapho ebheka emuva, uJoseph uthi: “Izinqumo mina nomkhaya wami esazenza zaphumela ezibusisweni ezicebile. Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi kwakuba nokucindezela okukhulu okwakuvela kulabo ababengaqondi, kodwa nginonembeza omuhle nokwaneliseka njengoba ngibona izingane zami zimatasa futhi ziqinile enkonzweni kaJehova. Nazo zijabulile, kanti nami nomkami sichichima injabulo.”

Enye inzuzo iye yaba ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwabalingani. Ngokwesibonelo, uZondai noSibusiso bakhonza njengezisebenzi zokuzithandela nomkabo, abayizelamani, egatsheni laseZimbabwe le-Watch Tower Society. Uyise womkabo, uDakarai, ungumshumayeli wevangeli wesikhathi esigcwele futhi akatholi holo lomsebenzi wokuziphilisa. Phakathi nezingxoxo zelobolo, wathi angamukela noma yini abangaba nayo. UZondai noSibusiso bathi: “Simthanda kakhulu uyise womkethu futhi singenza konke okusemandleni ethu ukumsiza uma engase aswele.”

Yebo, ukuba ocabangelayo ezingxoxweni zelobolo kuba nengxenye enjabulweni yomkhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, abasanda kushada ngeke babe sezikweletini, lokho okwenza kube lula ngabo ukuba bazivumelanise nokuphila kwasemshadweni. Lokhu kuye kwenza imibhangqwana eminingi esemisha yakwazi ukuphishekela izibusiso ezingokomoya, njengokukhonza isikhathi esigcwele emsebenzini ophuthumayo wokushumayela nokwenza abafundi. Lokhu kube sekuletha inkazimulo kuMsunguli womshado onothando, uJehova uNkulunkulu.—Mathewu 24:14; 28:19, 20.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 27]

BABUYISA ILOBOLO

Kweminye imiphakathi, umakoti nabazali bakhe babukelwa phansi uma ilobolo libe lincane. Ngakho, ukuzikhukhumeza nesifiso sokugabisa ngesimo somkhaya ngezinye izikhathi yikho okuba isisusa sokubizwa kwelobolo elikhulu. Umkhaya othile waseLagos, eNigeria, unikeza isibonelo esiqabulayo sokuphambene nalokhu. Umkhwenyana wawo, uDele, uyachaza:

“Abasekhweni lami bangikhulula ezindlekweni eziningi ezihambisana nomcimbi ongokwesiko welobolo, njengokuthenga izingubo zokushintsha ezibizayo. Ngisho nalapho umkhaya wakithi ubanika ilobolo, umkhulumeli wabo wabuza: ‘Ingabe nifuna ukuthatha le ntombazane njengenkosikazi noma njengendodakazi?’ Umkhaya wakithi waphendula kanyekanye wathi: ‘Sifuna ukuyithatha njengendodakazi.’ Ngemva kwalokho, ilobolo labuyiselwa kithi ngemvilophi efanayo.

“Kuze kube namuhla, ngiyayazisa indlela abasekhweni lami abasingatha ngayo umshado wethu. Yangenza ngabahlonipha kakhulu. Umbono wabo omuhle ongokomoya ungenza ngibabheke njengezihlobo eziseduze kakhulu. Futhi yaba nethonya elikhulu endleleni engibheka ngayo umkami. Ngiye ngamazisa ngokujulile ngenxa yendlela engaphathwa ngayo umkhaya wakubo. Lapho siba nokungavumelani, angikuvumeli ukuba kube inkinga. Uma ngikhumbula umkhaya aphuma kuwo, ukungavumelani kuyancipha.

“Umkhaya wakithi nowakubo iye yaba nesibopho esiqinile sobungane. Ngisho namanje, ngemva kweminyaka emibili sishadile, ubaba usathumela izipho nokudla ekhweni lami.”