Ingabe Uyazinika Isikhathi Sokuba Nomkhaya Wakho?

“OBABA BaseJapane Bayathandwa—Nakuba Bematasa Ngomsebenzi Futhi Bengadlali Nezingane Zabo.” Lesi sihloko esigqamile savela kuyi-Mainichi Shimbun eminyakeni ethile edlule. Sabika ukuthi amaphesenti angu-87,8 ezingane zaseJapane eziye zaba nengxenye ekuhloleni kukahulumeni zazwakalisa isifiso sazo sokunakekela oyise ngesikhathi esizayo. Nokho, kwelesiNgisi lalo leli phephandaba, kwavela udaba olufanayo ngaphansi kwesihloko esigqamile esihlukile. Sasithi: “Obaba Namadodana: Udaba Olushaywa Indiva.” Ngokungafani nelesiJapane, lesi sihloko saqokomisa esinye isici sokuhlola okufanayo: Usuku ngalunye phakathi nesonto, obaba baseJapane babeba nezingane zabo imizuzu engu-36 kuphela. Lapho kuqhathaniswa, obaba baseNtshonalanga Jalimane babeba nezingane zabo imizuzu engu-44 phakathi nesonto, kanti e-United States, babeba nazo imizuzu engu-56.

Akubona obaba kuphela abachitha isikhathi esincane benezingane zabo. Baya ngokwanda omama abasebenza ngaphandle kwekhaya. Ngokwesibonelo, omama abaningi abangabodwa kudingeka basebenze emisebenzini yokuziphilisa ukuze bondle imikhaya. Ngenxa yalokho, siyancipha isikhathi abazali—obaba nomama—abasichitha benezingane zabo.

Ukuhlolwa kwango-1997 kwentsha yaseMelika engaba ngu-12 000 eyeve eshumini nambili kwembula ukuthi intsha esondelene nabazali bayo ayikho engozini enkulu yokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukucabanga ukuzibulala, ukuhileleka ezenzweni zobudlova noma yokusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Futhi omunye wabacwaningi ababehileleke kulokho kuhlola okunzulu wathi: “Ngeke ube nomuzwa wokusondelana nezingane ngaphandle kokuba ube khona lapho zikudinga.” Kubalulekile ukuba nezingane zakho nokuxoxa nazo.

Igebe Lokukhulumisana

Imikhaya esengozini ngokukhethekile yokunqamuka kokukhulumisana yileyo enomzali ohlala kude nekhaya esabelweni somsebenzi esikude. Yiqiniso, igebe lokukhulumisana alikho kuphela emikhayeni enomzali ohlala kude nekhaya. Abanye abazali, nakuba behlala ekhaya, baya emsebenzini izingane zingakavuki futhi babuye sezilele. Ukuze bavale isikhala sokungabonani, abanye abazali baba nemikhaya yabo ngezimpelasonto nangamaholide. Bathi basebenzisa isikhathi “esikhethekile” ukuze babe nezingane zabo.

Nokho, ingabe ukuntuleka kwesikhathi esanele kungavalwa ukusebenzisa isikhathi esikhethekile unazo? Umcwaningi uLaurence Steinberg uyaphendula: “Ngokuvamile, izingane eziba nesikhathi esengeziwe nabazali zenza kangcono kunezingane eziba nabazali bazo isikhathi esincane. Kubonakala kunzima kakhulu ukuvala isikhala saleso sikhathi esintulekayo. Umqondo wesikhathi esikhethekile uye wasetshenziswa ngendlela eyeqisayo.” Leyo yiyo kanye indlela owesifazane othile waseBurma azizwa ngayo. Umyeni wakhe—indoda engumJapane ngempela—njalo ufika ekhaya ngehora lokuqala noma lesibili ekuseni. Nakuba eba nomkhaya wakhe ngezimpelasonto, umkakhe uthi: “Ukuba sekhaya ngeMigqibelo nangamaSonto akunakusivala isikhala sokungabi nomkhaya ngezinye izinsuku zesonto. . . . Ingabe ungahlala ungadli zonke izinsuku phakathi nesonto bese udla konke ukudla kwaphakathi nesonto ngeMigqibelo nangamaSonto?”

Kudingeka Umzamo Wenkuthalo

Kulula ukukhuluma ngokulondoloza ukukhulumisana okuhle emkhayeni kodwa kunzima ukukwenza. Isidingo sokuthola indlela yokuziphilisa nokondla umkhaya sikwenza kube nzima ngobaba noma ngomama osebenzayo ukuba abe nomkhaya. Abaningi abazimo zabo zidinga ukuba babe kude nekhaya baxhumana njalo nomkhaya ngokushaya ucingo noma ngokubhala izincwadi. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nindawonye ekhaya noma cha, ukulondoloza ukukhulumisana okuhle emkhayeni kudinga umzamo wenkuthalo.

Abazali abakushaya indiva ukuxoxa nemikhaya yabo kudingeka babhekane nemiphumela yokudebesela kwabo. Ubaba owayeba nesikhathi esincane nomkhaya wakhe, engadli nakudla nawo, wabhekana nemiphumela emibi. Indodana yakhe yaba nobudlova, futhi indodakazi yakhe yatholakala yeba esitolo. Lapho uyise ezilungiselela ukuya enkundleni yegalofu ngolunye usuku ngeSonto ekuseni, indodana yakhe yaqhuma ngentukuthelo. “Ingabe ngumama kuphela ongumzali kuleli khaya?” imemeza. Yakhononda: “Umama wenza zonke izinqumo kulo mkhaya. Baba, awukaze . . . . ”

Lawo mazwi enza lo baba wacabanga. Ekugcineni wanquma ukuthi, njengesiqalo, kufanele adle isidlo sasekuseni nomkhaya. Ekuqaleni, kwakuba nguye nomkakhe kuphela. Kancane kancane, izingane zalandela, futhi itafula lesidlo sasekuseni laba indawo yokuxoxa. Lokhu kwaphumela ekubeni nezidlo zakusihlwa ndawonye. Ngakho, le ndoda yayenza umzamo wokusindisa umkhaya wayo ekuwohlokeni ngokuphelele.

Usizo Oluvela EZwini LikaNkulunkulu

IBhayibheli likhuthaza abazali ukuba bazinike isikhathi sokuxoxa nezingane zabo. Ngomprofethi uMose, ama-Israyeli ayalwa: “Yizwa, Israyeli: uJehova uNkulunkulu wethu, uJehova, munye; wothanda uJehova uNkulunkulu wakho ngayo yonke inhliziyo yakho, nangawo wonke umphefumulo wakho, nangawo onke amandla akho. Lawa mazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla ayakuba senhliziyweni yakho, ubafundise impela wona abantwana bakho, uwakhulume lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni, nalapho ulala, nalapho uvuka.” (Duteronomi 6:4-7) Yebo, thina esingabazali kudingeka sithathe isinyathelo kuqala sokuba nemikhaya yethu uma sifuna ukugxilisa amazwi kaNkulunkulu ezingqondweni nasezinhliziyweni zezingane.

Ngokuthakazelisayo, ukuhlola kwango-1997 okukhulunywe ngakho ngaphambili, okwenziwa entsheni yaseMelika engu-12 000 kwembula ukuthi “phakathi kwenani elithi alibe ngu-88% . . . labo bonke abantu abathi banenkolo, ukubaluleka okwakubekwa enkolweni nasemthandazweni kwakuyisivikelo.” AmaKristu eqiniso ayaqaphela ukuthi imfundo efanele yenkolo emkhayeni ivikela intsha ezintweni ezifana nokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukuzibulala, ubudlova nokunye.

Abanye abazali banomuzwa wokuthi kunzima ukuthola isikhathi sokuba nemikhaya yabo. Lokhu kunjalo ikakhulukazi komama abangabodwa, abangakujabulela ukuba nezingane zabo kodwa okumelwe basebenze emsebenzini wokuziphilisa. Bangasithola kanjani isikhathi esiyigugu sokuba nemikhaya yabo? IBhayibheli liyanxusa: “[Gcina] ukuhlakanipha namasu.” (IzAga 3:21) Abazali bangasebenzisa “amasu” ukuze babe nesikhathi sokuba nemikhaya. Kanjani?

Uma ungumama osebenzayo ozizwa ekhathele ngemva komsebenzi wosuku, kunganjani ucele izingane zakho ukuba zikusize ekulungiseni ukudla? Isikhathi esinjalo eniba ndawonye ngaso siyoninika ithuba lokusondelana. Uma kusaqala, kungase kudle isikhathi esengeziwe ukuhilela izingane zakho. Nokho, ngokushesha uyothola ukuthi kuyajabulisa futhi konga ngisho nesikhathi.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ungubaba onezinto eziningi okufanele uzenze ngezimpelasonto. Kungani ungenzi ezinye zalezo zinto nezingane zakho? Ungaxoxa nazo njengoba nisebenza ndawonye futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ube uziqeqesha ngendlela ezozizuzisa. Isiyalo seBhayibheli sokugxilisa amazwi kaNkulunkulu ezinganeni zakho sikukhuthaza ukuba ukhulume nazo “lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni”—ngempela, ngawo wonke amathuba. Kuwukubonisa “ukuhlakanipha” ukuxoxa nezingane zakho lapho nisebenza ndawonye.

Ukuzinika isikhathi sokuba nomkhaya wakho kuyoba yinzuzo kamuva. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Kwabalulekwayo kukhona ukuhlakanipha.” (IzAga 13:10) Ngokuzinika isikhathi sokuxoxa nomkhaya wakho, uyoba sesimweni esihle sokuwunikeza isiqondiso esihlakaniphile emizabalazweni yokuphila kwansuku zonke. Isiqondiso esinjalo esinikezwa manje singonga isikhathi esiningi nokudabuka esikhathini esizayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungasiza ekubeni wena nawo nibe nenjabulo. Ukuze unikeze iziqondiso ezinjalo, kudingeka ukhe enqolobaneni ecebile yokuhlakanipha okutholakala eZwini likaNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli. Kusebenzise ekufundiseni izingane zakho nokuqondisa izinyathelo zomkhaya wakho.—IHubo 119:105.

[Isithombe ekhasini 4]

Intsha esondelene nabazali bayo ayikho engozini enkulu yokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo

[Isithombe ekhasini 5]

Ukukhulumisana okuhle kuzuzisa ngokucebile ekuphileni komkhaya

[Isithombe ekhasini 6]

Lapho usebenza nengane yakho, ungaxoxa nayo futhi uyiqeqeshe ngendlela ezoyizuzisa