Isiqondiso Esihlakaniphile Semibhangqwana Eshadile
“Abafazi mabazithobe kubayeni babo njengokungathi bazithoba eNkosini. Madoda, qhubekani nithanda omkenu.”—EFESU 5:22, 25.
1. Iyiphi indlela efanele yokubheka umshado?
UJESU wathi umshado yilungiselelo uNkulunkulu ahlanganisa ngalo indoda nomfazi babe “nyamanye.” (Mathewu 19:5, 6) Kuwo, abantu ababili abanobuntu obungafani bafunda ukuthanda izinto ezithandwa omunye futhi babambisane ekufinyeleleni imigomo efanayo. Umshado uyisibopho sokuphila konke; awusona isivumelwano esingasho lutho, esinganqanyulwa kalula. Emazweni amaningi kulula ukuthola isehlukaniso, kodwa kumKristu ubuhlobo bomshado bungcwele. Bunqanyulwa ngesizathu esingathí sina kuphela.—Mathewu 19:9.
2. (a) Iluphi usizo imibhangqwana eshadile engaluthola? (b) Kungani kubalulekile ukulwela ukwenza umshado uphumelele?
2 Omunye umeluleki wemishado wathi: “Umshado omuhle uyinqubo ehilela ushintsho oluqhubekayo njengoba kuvela izinselele ezintsha, kubhekanwa nezinkinga eziqhamukayo, futhi kusetshenziswa usizo olutholakalayo esigabeni ngasinye sokuphila.” KumaKristu, lolo sizo luhlanganisa neseluleko esihlakaniphile seBhayibheli, ukusekela kwamanye amaKristu, nobuhlobo obuseduze noJehova obuhilela umthandazo. Umshado ophumelelayo uyabekezela, futhi wenza indoda nomfazi bajabule, baneliseke, njengoba iminyaka ihamba. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, udumisa uJehova uNkulunkulu, uMsunguli womshado.—Genesise 2:18, 21-24; 1 Korinte 10:31; Efesu 3:15; 1 Thesalonika 5:17.
Lingisani UJesu Nebandla Lakhe
3. (a) Fingqa iseluleko sikaPawulu kwabashadile. (b) Isiphi isibonelo esihle esabekwa uJesu?
3 Eminyakeni eyizinkulungwane ezimbili edlule, umphostoli uPawulu wanika imibhangqwana yamaKristu iseluleko esihlakaniphile lapho ebhala: “Njengoba ibandla lithobela uKristu, kanjalo nabafazi mabathobele abayeni babo kuzo zonke izinto. Madoda, qhubekani nithanda omkenu, njengoba nje noKristu alithanda ibandla futhi wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efesu 5:24, 25) Yeka ukuthi kuhle kanjani lokhu kufanisa! Abafazi abangamaKristu abaqhubeka bezithoba kubayeni babo balingisa ibandla ngokuqaphela nokugcina isimiso sobunhloko. Lawo madoda akholwayo aqhubeka ethanda omkawo, kukuhle noma kunzima, abonisa ukuthi asilandela eduze isibonelo sikaKristu sokuthanda ibandla nokulinakekela.
4. Amadoda angasilingisa kanjani isibonelo sikaJesu?
4 Amadoda angamaKristu ayizinhloko zemikhaya yawo, kodwa nawo anenhloko, uJesu. (1 Korinte 11:3) Ngakho, njengoba uJesu alinakekela ibandla lakhe, namadoda ayinakekela ngothando imikhaya yawo ngokomoya nangokwenyama, ngisho noma lokho kusho ukuthi awadele izinto ezithile. Acabangela imikhaya yawo ngaphambi kwezifiso zawo nalokho akuthandayo. UJesu wathi: “Ngakho-ke, zonke izinto enifuna abantu bazenze kini, nani kumelwe nizenze ngokufanayo kubo.” (Mathewu 7:12) Leso simiso sisebenza ngokukhethekile emshadweni. UPawulu wakubonisa lokhu lapho ethi: “Amadoda kufanele athande omkawo njengemizimba yawo siqu. . . . Akekho umuntu owake wazonda inyama yakhe; kodwa uyayondla futhi ayinakekele ngesisa.” (Efesu 5:28, 29) Indoda kufanele ikhuthalele ukondla nokunakekela umkayo ngesisa ngendlela ekhuthalela ngayo ukuzondla nokuzinakekela yona.
5. Abafazi bangalilingisa kanjani ibandla lobuKristu?
5 Abafazi abesaba uNkulunkulu babheka ibandla lobuKristu njengesibonelo. Lapho uJesu esemhlabeni, abalandeli bakhe bashiya imisebenzi yabo ngentokozo bamlandela. Ngemva kokufa kwakhe, baqhubeka bezithoba kuye, futhi phakathi neminyaka ecishe ibe ngu-2 000 edlule, ibandla lamaKristu eqiniso liye laqhubeka lizithoba kuJesu futhi lilandela ukuhola kwakhe kuzo zonke izinto. Nabafazi abangamaKristu ababadeleli abayeni babo noma bazame ukululaza ilungiselelo elingokomBhalo lobunhloko emshadweni. Kunalokho bayabasekela, bazithobe kubo, babambisane nabo, kanjalo babakhuthaze. Lapho bobabili indoda nomfazi beziphatha ngale ndlela enothando, umshado wabo uyophumelela nakanjani futhi bobabili bayobujabulela lobu buhlobo.
Qhubekani Nihlala Nabo
6. UPetru wawanika siphi iseluleko amadoda, futhi kungani sibalulekile?
6 Umphostoli uPetru naye wayeluleka imibhangqwana eshadile, futhi awakhe amazwi emadodeni ayengagwegwesi. Wathi: “Qhubekani nihlala [nomkenu] ngendlela efanayo ngokolwazi, nibazisa njengesitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana, isifazane, njengoba nani niyizindlalifa kanye nabo zomusa ongafanelwe wokuphila, ukuze imithandazo yenu ingathiyeki.” (1 Petru 3:7) Ukuba nohlonze kweseluleko sikaPetru kubonakala emazwini okugcina aleli vesi. Uma indoda ingamazisi umkayo, ubuhlobo bayo noJehova buyothinteka. Imithandazo yayo iyothiyeka.
7. Indoda kufanele imazise kanjani umkayo?
7 Amadoda angabazisa kanjani-ke omkawo? Ukwazisa umkakho kusho ukumphatha ngothando nangenhlonipho. Ukuphatha inkosikazi ngomusa kanjalo kwakungezwakala kuyinqaba kwabaningi. Isazi esingumGreki siyabhala: “Ngaphansi komthetho wamaRoma umfazi wayengenamalungelo. Kwezomthetho, wayehlale eyingane nje. . . . Wayeba ngaphansi komyeni wakhe kukho konke, alawulwe nguye ngokuphelele.” Yeka umahluko ezimfundisweni zobuKristu! Indoda engumKristu yayimazisa umkayo. Indlela eyayimphatha ngayo yayilawulwa izimiso zobuKristu; yayingenzi umathanda kuye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, yayimcabangela “ngokolwazi,” ikhumbula ukuthi uyisitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana.
‘Uyisitsha Esibuthakathaka Kakhudlwana’ Ngayiphi Indlela?
8, 9. Abesifazane balingana ngaziphi izindlela namadoda?
8 Lapho ethi owesifazane ‘uyisitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana,’ uPetru wayengasho ukuthi abesifazane babuthakathaka kunamadoda engqondweni noma ngokomoya. Yiqiniso, ebandleni amadoda amaningi angamaKristu anamalungelo abesifazane abangalindele ukuwathola, futhi emkhayeni abafazi bathobela abayeni babo. (1 Korinte 14:35; 1 Thimothewu 2:12) Nokho, ukholo olufunekayo, ukukhuthazela, nezindinganiso zokuziphatha eziphakeme, kuyafana kuwo wonke umuntu, owesilisa nowesifazane. Futhi njengoba uPetru asho, bobabili indoda nomkayo ‘bayizindlalifa zomusa ongafanelwe wokuphila.’ Ngokuqondene nensindiso, basesimweni esifanayo phambi kukaJehova uNkulunkulu. (Galathiya 3:28) UPetru wayebhalela amaKristu agcotshiwe ekhulu lokuqala. Ngakho, amazwi akhe ákhumbuza amadoda angamaKristu ukuthi ‘njengezindlalifa ezikanye noKristu,’ wona nomkawo babenethemba elifanayo lasezulwini. (Roma 8:17) Ngelinye ilanga, la madoda nomkawo babeyokhonza njengabapristi namakhosi eMbusweni kaNkulunkulu wasezulwini!—IsAmbulo 5:10.
9 Abafazi abangamaKristu agcotshiwe babengephansi neze kunabayeni babo abangamaKristu agcotshiwe. Futhi leso simiso siyasebenza nakulabo abanethemba lasemhlabeni. Kokubili amadoda nabesifazane ‘besixuku esikhulu’ bahlanza izembatho zabo zibe mhlophe egazini leWundlu. Kokubili amadoda nabesifazane badumisa uJehova “imini nobusuku” emhlabeni wonke. (IsAmbulo 7:9, 10, 14, 15) Kokubili amadoda nabesifazane balangazelela ukuthola ‘inkululeko ekhazimulayo yabantwana bakaNkulunkulu,’ lapho beyojabulela khona “ukuphila kwangempela.” (Roma 8:21; 1 Thimothewu 6:19) Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi agcotshiwe yini noma angawezinye izimvu, wonke amaKristu akhonza uJehova ndawonye ‘emhlambi munye’ ngaphansi ‘kukamalusi munye.’ (Johane 10:16) Yeka isizathu esinamandla sokuba indoda nomfazi abangamaKristu bazisane ngendlela efanele!
10. Abesifazane ‘bayizitsha ezibuthakathaka kakhudlwana’ ngamuphi umqondo?
10 Pho, abesifazane ‘bayizitsha ezibuthakathaka kakhudlwana’ ngayiphi indlela? Mhlawumbe uPetru wayebhekisela ekutheni ngokuvamile, abesifazane bancane ngomzimba futhi abanamandla njengamadoda. Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengoba singaphelele, ilungelo elimangalisayo lokuthola abantwana liyawukhandla umzimba. Abesifazane abaseseminyakeni yokuthola abantwana, njalo bangase babe nezikhathi lapho bengazizwa kahle emzimbeni. Bakudinga ngempela ukunakekelwa ngokukhethekile nokucatshangelwa lapho bekulezo zikhathi ezinzima noma lapho bekhandlwe ubunzima bokukhulelwa nokubeletha. Indoda emazisayo umkayo, eyaziyo ukuthi udinga ukusekelwa, iyosiza kakhulu ekwenzeni umshado uphumelele.
Ekhaya Elinezinkolo Ezingafani
11. Umshado ungaphumelela ngamuphi umqondo ngisho noma indoda nomfazi benezinkolo ezingafani?
11 Nokho, kuthiwani uma abangane bomshado benezinkolo ezingafani ngoba omunye wabo amukele amaqiniso eBhayibheli sebeshadile, omunye wangawamukela? Ungaphumelela yini umshado onjalo? Ngokwalokho okwenzeke kwabaningi, ungaphumelela. Indoda nomfazi abanezinkolo ezingafani basengaba nomshado ophumelelayo ngomqondo wokuthi ungahlala njalo futhi ubenze bajabule bobabili. Nangale kwalokho, lowo mshado usewumshado phambi kukaJehova; ‘basenyamanye.’ Ngakho-ke, amaKristu ashadile elulekwa ukuba ahlale nabangane bawo bomshado abangakholwa uma bevuma. Uma kunezingane, ziyazuza ekwethembekeni komzali ongumKristu.—1 Korinte 7:12-14.
12, 13. Lapho belalela iseluleko sikaPetru, abafazi abangamaKristu bangabasiza kanjani abayeni abangakholwa?
12 UPetru ubeluleka ngomusa abafazi abangamaKristu abasemikhayeni enezinkolo ezingafani. Amadoda angamaKristu asesimweni esifanayo nawo angasisebenzisa isimiso samazwi akhe. UPetru uyabhala: “Nani bafazi, zithobeni kubayeni benu, ukuze kuthi, uma bekhona abangalilaleli izwi, bazuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngokuziphatha kwabafazi babo, ngoba beye baba ofakazi bokuzibonela bokuziphatha kwenu okumsulwa kanye nenhlonipho ejulile.”—1 Petru 3:1, 2.
13 Uma inkosikazi ikwazi ukuchazela umyeni wayo ngenkolo yayo ngobuhlakani, kuhle lokho. Kodwa kuthiwani uma engafuni ukulalela? Yindlela akhetha ngayo leyo. Kodwa akusho ukuthi akukho lutho olungenziwa, ngoba ukuziphatha kobuKristu nakho kunikeza ubufakazi obunamandla. Amadoda amaningi ayengenasithakazelo ekuqaleni noma ayeyiphikisa imbala inkolo yomkawo aye agcina “ethambekele ngokufanele ekuphileni okuphakade” ngemva kokubona ukuziphatha okuhle komkawo. (IzEnzo 13:48) Ngisho noma indoda ingawamukeli amaqiniso eBhayibheli, ukuziphatha komkayo kungase kuyihlabe umxhwele, kuqinise umshado. Enye indoda umkayo ongomunye woFakazi BakaJehova yavuma ukuthi ayisoze yakwazi ukuphila ngezindinganiso eziphakeme zoFakazi. Noma kunjalo, encwadini eyayiyibhalele iphephandaba yathi ‘ingumyeni ojabulayo womfazi othandekayo’ futhi yamtusa ngobuqotho umkayo noFakazi akholwa nabo.
14. Amadoda angabasiza kanjani omkawo abangakholwa?
14 Lawo madoda angamaKristu asebenzise isimiso samazwi kaPetru nawo aye azuza omkawo ngokuziphatha kwawo. Abafazi abangakholwa baye babona abayeni babo beba abantu abangathembela kubo, beyeka ukusaphaza imali ngokubhema, ukuphuza, nokugembula, beyeka nolimi oluhlambalazayo. Abanye balabo bafazi baye bajwayelana namanye amalungu ebandla lobuKristu. Ubuzalwane bobuKristu obunothando buye babahlaba umxhwele, futhi lokho abakubona phakathi kwabazalwane kwabadonsela kuJehova.—Johane 13:34, 35.
“Umuntu Osithekile Wenhliziyo”
15, 16. Hlobo luni lokuziphatha komfazi ongumKristu okungazuza umyeni ongakholwa?
15 Hlobo luni lokuziphatha okungase kuzuze umyeni? Empeleni, lokho ukuziphatha abakuhlakulelayo vele abesifazane abangamaKristu. UPetru uthi: “Ukuhloba kwenu makungabi okokwaluka izinwele kwangaphandle nokokufaka imihlobiso yegolide noma okokugqoka izingubo zangaphandle, kodwa makube umuntu osithekile wenhliziyo ogqoke isambatho esingenakonakala somoya onokuthula nobumnene, ongowenani elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu. Ngoba, ngaphambili abesifazane abangcwele ababethembela kuNkulunkulu babezihlobisa kanjalo, bezithoba kubayeni babo, njengoba noSara ayehlonipha u-Abrahama, embiza ngokuthi ‘nkosi.’ Seningabantwana bakhe, uma kodwa niqhubeka nenza okuhle futhi ningesabi lutho olubangela ukwesaba.”—1 Petru 3:3-6.
16 UPetru weluleka owesifazane ongumKristu ukuba angathembeli ekubukekeni kwakhe. Kunalokho, umyeni wakhe kufanele abone umphumela wezimfundiso zeBhayibheli kumuntu anguye ngaphakathi. Umyeni kufanele azibonele ubuntu obusha. Mhlawumbe uyobuqhathanisa nobuntu obudala umkakhe ayenabo. (Efesu 4:22-24) Nakanjani ‘umoya wakhe onokuthula nobumnene’ uyomqabula futhi umkhange. Umoya onjalo awugcini ngokujabulisa umyeni wakhe kodwa futhi ‘ungowenani elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.’—Kolose 3:12.
17. USara ubabekela siphi isibonelo esihle abafazi abangamaKristu?
17 USara uvezwa njengesibonelo, futhi uyisibonelo esihle kubafazi abangamaKristu kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abayeni babo bayakholwa noma cha. Akungabazeki ukuthi uSara wayembheka njengenhloko yakhe u-Abrahama. Ngisho nasenhliziyweni, wayembiza ‘ngenkosi’ yakhe. (Genesise 18:12) Lokho kwakungamehlisi isithunzi. Kusobala ukuthi wayengowesifazane ovuthiwe ngokomoya, kwayena enokholo oluqinile kuJehova. Empeleni, uphakathi ‘kwefu elikhulu lofakazi’ elisibonelo salo sokholo kufanele sisishukumisele ukuba “siwugijime ngokukhuthazela lo mncintiswano obekwe phambi kwethu.” (Hebheru 11:11; 12:1) Ukuba njengoSara akumehlisi isithunzi umfazi ongumKristu.
18. Iziphi izimiso okufanele zikhunjulwe ekhaya elinezinkolo ezingafani?
18 Ekhaya elinezinkolo ezingafani, indoda iseyinhloko. Uma kuyiyo ekholwayo, iyozicabangela izinkolelo zomkayo, ibe ingayekethisi nakolwayo ukholo. Uma kuyinkosikazi ekholwayo, nayo ngeke iyekethise okholweni lwayo. (IzEnzo 5:29) Kodwa futhi ngeke ibubekele inselele ubunhloko bomyeni wayo. Iyosihlonipha isikhundla sakhe, ihlale ingaphansi ‘komthetho womyeni wayo.’—Roma 7:2.
Iseluleko Esihlakaniphile SeBhayibheli
19. Iziphi ezinye zezingcindezi ezenza kube nzima emshadweni, kodwa kungabhekanwa kanjani nalezo zingcindezi?
19 Namuhla, ziningi izinto ezingenza kube nzima emshadweni. Amanye amadoda awayithwali imithwalo yawo. Abanye abafazi bayenqaba ukwamukela ubunhloko babayeni babo. Kweminye imishado, omunye uxhaphaza omunye. KumaKristu, izingcindezi zezimali, ukungapheleli kobuntu, nomoya wezwe eliziphethe kabi nelinezindinganiso ezihlanekezelwe kungavivinya ubuqotho. Noma kunjalo, amadoda nabafazi abangamaKristu abagcina izimiso zeBhayibheli noma ngabe basesimweni esinjani, bathola isibusiso sikaJehova. Ngisho noma eyedwa kuphela emshadweni osebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli, kuba ngcono kunalapho engekho nhlobo ozisebenzisayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uJehova uyazithanda futhi uyazisekela izinceku zakhe ezihlala zithembekile ezifungweni zazo zomshado ngisho nasezimweni ezinzima. Ubuqotho bazo akabukhohlwa.—IHubo 18:25; Hebheru 6:10; 1 Petru 3:12.
20. UPetru uwanika siphi iseluleko wonke amaKristu?
20 Ngemva kokweluleka amadoda nabafazi abashadile, umphostoli uPetru waphetha ngamazwi anomusa okukhuthaza. Wathi: “Ekugcineni, nonke yibani nomqondo ofanayo, nibonisa ukuzwelana, ninothando lobuzalwane, ninobubele besisa, nithobekile engqondweni, ningabuyiseli okubi ngokubi noma ukuthukwa ngokuthuka, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, nibusisa, ngoba nabizelwa kule nkambo, ukuze nizuze isibusiso njengefa.” (1 Petru 3:8, 9) Ngempela, lesi yiseluleko esihlakaniphile kuwo wonke umuntu, ikakhulu emibhangqwaneni eshadile!
Uyakhumbula?
• Amadoda angamaKristu amlingisa kanjani uJesu?
• Abafazi abangamaKristu balilingisa kanjani ibandla?
• Amadoda angabazisa kanjani omkawo?
• Iyiphi inkambo engcono kakhulu ngomfazi ongumKristu onomyeni ongakholwa?
[Isithombe ekhasini 16]
Indoda engumKristu iyamthanda futhi imnakekele umkayo
Umfazi ongumKristu uyamhlonipha futhi amazise umyeni wakhe
[Isithombe ekhasini 17]
Ngokungafani nomthetho wamaRoma, izimfundiso zobuKristu zazifuna ukuba indoda imazise umkayo
[Isithombe ekhasini 18]
Kokubili abesilisa nabesifazane ‘besixuku esikhulu’ balindele ukuphila okuphakade ePharadesi
[Isithombe ekhasini 20]
USara wayembheka njengenkosi yakhe u-Abrahama