Bafazi—Bahlonipheni Ngokujulile Abayeni Benu
‘Bafazi zithobeni kubayeni benu.’—EFESU 5:22.
1. Kungani ukuhlonipha indoda kuvame ukuba nzima?
EMAZWENI amaningi, lapho umbhangqwana ushada, umakoti wenza isifungo, athembise ukumhlonipha ngokujulile umyeni wakhe. Nokho, indlela amadoda amaningi aphatha ngayo omkawo inomthelela ekutheni ukugcina leso sifungo kuba nzima noma cha. Nokho, umshado waba nesiqalo esihle kakhulu. UNkulunkulu wathatha ubambo ku-Adamu, indoda yokuqala, wabumba owesifazane. U-Adamu wababaza: “Ekugcineni usekhona oyithambo lamathambo ami nenyama yenyama yami.”—Genesise 2:19-23.
2. Yini eye yenzeka ngabesifazane nomshado ezikhathini zamuva?
2 Naphezu kwaleso siqalo esihle, ekuqaleni kwawo-1960 e-United States kwaba khona umzabalazo wabesimame, bezama ukugqashula ekubusweni abesilisa. Ngaleso sikhathi, wayeyedwa umfazi owayeshiya umkhaya wakhe emadodeni angaba ngu-300. Lapho iminyaka yawo-1960 iphela, kwase kunomfazi oyedwa emadodeni angaba yikhulu. Manje kubonakala sengathi abesifazane bathuka inhlamba, baphuze, babheme futhi baziphathe kabi ngezinga elifanayo namadoda. Ingabe-ke abesifazane bajabula kakhulu kunakuqala? Cha. Kwamanye amazwe, cishe isigamu sabantu abashadayo sigcina sihlukanisile. Ingabe umzamo wabanye abesifazane wokuthuthukisa isimo sabo emshadweni uye wazenza zaba ngcono izinto noma zaba zimbi ngokwengeziwe?—2 Thimothewu 3:1-5.
3. Iyiphi inkinga eyisisekelo ekhungethe umshado?
3 Ngokuyisisekelo, iyini inkinga? Ngezinga elithile, yinkinga eyaba khona kusukela u-Eva ayengwa ingelosi eyisihlubuki, “inyoka yokuqala, lowo obizwa ngokuthi uDeveli noSathane.” (IsAmbulo 12:9; 1 Thimothewu 2:13, 14) USathane uye wakwenza kwangabazeka lokho uNkulunkulu akufundisayo. Ngokwesibonelo, uDeveli uye wenza umshado wabonakala unemingcele ngokweqile futhi ucindezela. Amanga awagqugquzela ngemithombo yezindaba yaleli zwe alibusayo aklanyelwe ukwenza imiyalo kaNkulunkulu ibonakale ingenakho ukucabangela futhi iphelelwe isikhathi. (2 Korinte 4:3, 4) Nokho, uma sikuhlola ngomqondo ovulekile lokho uNkulunkulu akushoyo ngendima yowesifazane emshadweni, sizobona ukuthi iseluleko seZwi likaNkulunkulu sihlakaniphe futhi sisiza kangakanani.
Isixwayiso Kwabashadayo
4, 5. (a) Kungani kukuhle ukuba owesifazane acophelele lapho ecabanga ukushada? (b) Owesifazane kufanele enzeni ngaphambi kokuba avume ukushada?
4 IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa. Lithi kuleli zwe elibuswa uDeveli, ngisho nalabo abasemishadweni ephumelelayo bayoba “nosizi.” Ngakho, nakuba umshado uyilungiselelo elasungulwa uNkulunkulu, iBhayibheli liyabaxwayisa labo abawungenelayo. Ekhuluma ngowesifazane ofelwe umyeni futhi ngenxa yalokho okhululekile ukuphinde ashade, umlobi weBhayibheli ophefumulelwe wathi: “Ujabula ngokwengeziwe uma ehlala enjengoba enjalo.” NoJesu watusa ukungashadi kulabo ‘abangase bakwazi ukukutholela indawo.’ Nokho, uma umuntu ekhetha ukushada, kufanele kube ‘seNkosini,’ okusho ukuthi, kufanele ashade nomkhulekeli kaNkulunkulu ozinikezele wabhapathizwa.—1 Korinte 7:28, 36-40; Mathewu 19:10-12.
5 Isixwayiso seBhayibheli esilandelayo siyisizathu esenza ukuba owesifazane ngokukhethekile kudingeke aqaphele ukuthi ushada nobani: “Owesifazane oshadile uboshelwe ngumthetho kumyeni wakhe.” Uze ‘akhululeke emthethweni womyeni wakhe’ kuphela lapho umyeni wakhe efa noma eziphatha kabi bese behlukanisa umshado ngenxa yalokho. (Roma 7:2, 3) Ukukhangana kokuqala kungase kuholele esikhathini esimnandi sokuthandana, kodwa akusona isisekelo esiqine ngokwanele somshado onenjabulo. Ngakho-ke, owesifazane ongashadile kudingeka azibuze, ‘Ngizimisele yini ukungena elungiselelweni elizongenza ngibe ngaphansi komthetho wale ndoda?’ Kumelwe acabange ngalo mbuzo ngaphambi kokushada, hhayi kamuva.
6. Iningi labesifazane namuhla lingenza siphi isinqumo, futhi kungani sibaluleke kangaka?
6 Ezindaweni eziningi namuhla, owesifazane angakhetha ukuthi uyasamukela noma akasamukeli isicelo somshado. Nokho, ukukhetha ngokuhlakanipha kungase kube yinto enzima kunazo zonke owesifazane azenzayo, ngoba ukunxanela kwakhe uthando nokusondelana nothile okutholakala emshadweni kungaba namandla kakhulu. Omunye umlobi wathi: “Lapho sifuna kakhulu ukwenza okuthile—kungaba ukushada noma ukucaca intaba ethile—ayanda amathuba okuba simane sizitshele ukuthi kuzohamba kahle singahlolisisanga, sinake kuphela lokho esifisa ukukuzwa.” Kumcaci wezintaba, isinqumo esingahluzekile singasho ukufa; ukukhetha umngane womshado ngobuwula nakho kungadala usizi.
7. Isiphi iseluleko esihlakaniphile esiye sanikezwa ngokufuna umngane womshado?
7 Owesifazane kufanele acabange ngokungathí sina ngalokho okungase kuhileleke ekubeni ngaphansi komthetho wendoda emcela ukuba bashade. Eminyakeni ethile edlule, intombazane esencane yaseNdiya yavuma ngokuthobeka: “Abazali bethu badala futhi bahlakaniphile kunathi, futhi abakhohliseki kalula njengathi. . . . Mina ngingalenza kalula iphutha.” Usizo abazali nabanye abangalunikeza lubalulekile. Kudala, umeluleki ohlakaniphile wakhuthaza intsha ukuba ibazi abazali bomuntu ezoshada naye futhi ibhekisise indlela akhulumisana ngayo nabo namanye amalungu omkhaya.
Indlela UJesu Abonisa Ngayo Ukuzithoba
8, 9. (a) UJesu wakubheka kanjani ukuzithoba kwakhe kuNkulunkulu? (b) Ukuzithoba kungaba naziphi izinzuzo?
8 Nakuba ukuzithoba kungaba inselele, abesifazane bangakwamukela njengokuhloniphekile, njengoba uJesu enza. Nakuba ukuzithoba kwakhe kuNkulunkulu kwahilela ukuhlupheka, kuhlanganise nokufa esigxotsheni sokuhlushwa, wakujabulela ukuzithoba kuYe. (Luka 22:41-44; Hebheru 5:7, 8; 12:3) Abesifazane bangabheka kuJesu njengesibonelo, ngoba iBhayibheli lithi: “[Inhloko] yowesifazane yindoda; nenhloko kaKristu nguNkulunkulu.” (1 Korinte 11:3) Nokho, kuyaphawuleka ukuthi abesifazane ababi ngaphansi kobunhloko bamadoda lapho beshada kuphela.
9 IBhayibheli liyachaza ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bashadile noma cha, abesifazane kufanele bazithobe ebunhlokweni bamadoda anezimfanelo ezingokomoya engamele ebandleni lobuKristu. (1 Thimothewu 2:12, 13; Hebheru 13:17) Lapho abesifazane belandela isiqondiso sikaNkulunkulu sokwenza kanjalo, babekela izingelosi isibonelo enhlanganweni kaNkulunkulu. (1 Korinte 11:8-10) Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngesibonelo sabo esihle nangokusikisela kwabo okuwusizo, abesifazane abashadile asebekhulile bafundisa abesifazane abasebasha ‘ukuzithoba kubayeni babo.’—Thithu 2:3-5.
10. UJesu wasibeka kanjani isibonelo sokubonisa ukuzithoba?
10 UJesu wayekuqaphela ukubaluleka kokuzithoba okufanele. Ngesinye isikhathi, wayala umphostoli uPetru ukuba akhokhele bona bobabili intela kuziphathimandla ezingabantu, waze ngisho wamnikeza nemali yokukhokha. Kamuva, uPetru wabhala: “Ngenxa yeNkosi zithobeni kuyo yonke indalo engabantu.” (1 Petru 2:13; Mathewu 17:24-27) Ngokuqondene nesibonelo sikaJesu sokuzithoba esivelele kunazo zonke, siyafunda: “Wazidela, wathatha isimo senceku wafana nabantu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho ezithola esesimweni esinjengesomuntu, wazithoba futhi walalela kwaze kwaba sekufeni.”—Filipi 2:5-8.
11. Kungani uPetru akhuthaza abafazi ukuba bazithobe ngisho nakubayeni abangakholwa?
11 Lapho ekhuthaza amaKristu ukuba azithobe ngisho nakuziphathimandla zaleli zwe ezinokhahlo nezingenabulungisa, uPetru wachaza: “Eqinisweni, nabizelwa kule nkambo, ngoba ngisho noKristu wahlupheka ngenxa yenu, enishiyela isibonelo sokuba nilandele izinyathelo zakhe eduze.” (1 Petru 2:21) Ngemva kokuchaza izinga uJesu ahlupheka ngalo nendlela akhuthazela ngayo ngokuzithoba, uPetru wakhuthaza abafazi abanabayeni abangakholwa: “Ngendlela efanayo, nani bafazi, zithobeni kubayeni benu, ukuze kuthi, uma bekhona abangalilaleli izwi, bazuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngokuziphatha kwabafazi babo, ngoba beye baba ofakazi bokuzibonela bokuziphatha kwenu okumsulwa kanye nenhlonipho ejulile.”—1 Petru 3:1, 2.
12. Iziphi izinzuzo ezalethwa inkambo kaJesu yokuzithoba?
12 Ukuzithoba naphezu kokuhlekwa usulu nokuhlanjalazwa kungase kubhekwe njengobuthakathaka. Nokho, uJesu akakubhekanga kanjalo. UPetru wabhala: “Lapho ethukwa, akaphindiselanga ngokuthuka. Lapho ehlupheka, akasongelanga.” (1 Petru 2:23) Abanye abambona uJesu ehlupheka babonisa ukholo ngezinga elithile, kuhlanganise nomphangi owayesesigxotsheni eduze kwakhe kanye nesikhulu sebutho esasibukele lapho bebulawa. (Mathewu 27:38-44, 54; Marku 15:39; Luka 23:39-43) Ngokufanayo, uPetru wabonisa ukuthi amanye amadoda angakholwa—ngisho nalawo ahlukumezayo—ayoba ngamaKristu ngemva kokubona ukuzithoba komkawo. Lokhu siye sakubona kwenzeka namuhla.
Indlela Abafazi Abangabazuza Ngayo Abayeni Babo
13, 14. Ukuzithoba kubayeni abangakholwa kuye kwazuzisa kanjani?
13 Abafazi abaye baba ngamakholwa baye bazuza abayeni babo ngokuziphatha kwabo okunjengokukaKristu. Muva nje, emhlanganweni wesigodi woFakazi BakaJehova, indoda ethile ithe ngomkayo ongumKristu: “Ngingathi nje ngangimphethe kabi impela. Noma kunjalo, wayengeve engihlonipha. Akazange nanini angeyise. Wayengazami ukungishumayeza ngenkani. Wayenginakekela ngothando. Uma ezoya emhlanganweni omkhulu, wayezikhandla ahambe engiphekele futhi enze yonke imisebenzi yasendlini. Isimo sakhe sengqondo saqala ukungenza ngifune ukwazi ngeBhayibheli. Nakhu manje ngilapha!” Yebo, ukuziphatha komkakhe ‘kwamzuza ngaphandle kwezwi.’
14 Njengoba uPetru agcizelela, imiphumela emihle ayibangelwa kangako yilokho umfazi akushoyo, kodwa yilokho akwenzayo. Lokhu kwaboniswa umfazi owafunda amaqiniso eBhayibheli futhi wazimisela ukuya emihlanganweni yobuKristu. Umyeni wakhe wamkhakhabisa: “Agnes, uma nje uke waphuma ngalowo mnyango, ungabe usabuya!” Akaphumanga “ngalowo mnyango,” waphuma ngomunye. Ngosuku lomhlangano wakusihlwa olandelayo, umyeni wakhe wamsongela: “Ngeke ungithole uma ubuya.” Nebala akamtholanga—kwaphela izinsuku ezintathu engekho. Lapho ebuya, u-Agnes wambuza ngomusa: “Ngingakwenzela ukudla?” U-Agnes akazange ahlehle ekuzinikeleni kwakhe kuJehova. Umyeni wakhe wagcina amukele isifundo seBhayibheli, wanikezela ukuphila kwakhe kuNkulunkulu, futhi kamuva wakhonza njengombonisi onemithwalo yemfanelo eminingi.
15. Ikuphi “ukuhloba” okutuswa kubafazi abangamaKristu?
15 Umphostoli uPetru watusa okuthile abafazi abaphawulwe ngenhla abaye bakubonisa: “ukuhloba,” kodwa hhayi ngokunaka ngokweqile ‘ukwaluka izinwele’ noma ‘ukugqoka izingubo zangaphandle.’ Kunalokho, uPetru wathi: “[Ukuhloba kwenu] makube umuntu osithekile wenhliziyo ogqoke isambatho esingenakonakala somoya onokuthula nobumnene, ongowenani elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.” Umfazi ongumKristu ubonisa lo moya ngesimo sezwi nangokwenza ngendlela ekhangayo, engabekeli ubunhloko bomyeni wakhe inselele futhi engabonisi ukuthi ufuna izinto zenziwe ngendlela yakhe. Ngokwenza kanjalo, ubonisa inhlonipho ejulile ngomyeni wakhe.—1 Petru 3:3, 4.
Izibonelo Abangafunda Kuzo
16. Iziphi izindlela uSara ayisibonelo esihle ngazo kubafazi abangamaKristu?
16 UPetru wabhala: “Ngaphambili abesifazane abangcwele ababethembela kuNkulunkulu babezihlobisa kanjalo, bezithoba kubayeni babo.” (1 Petru 3:5) Labo besifazane babeqaphela ukuthi ukujabulisa uJehova ngokulalela iseluleko sakhe kwakuyogcina kuholele enjabulweni yomkhaya nasemvuzweni wokuphila okuphakade. UPetru ukhuluma ngoSara, umfazi omuhle ka-Abrahama, athi ‘wayehlonipha u-Abrahama, embiza ngokuthi “nkosi.”’ USara wamsekela umyeni wakhe owesaba uNkulunkulu, owayabelwe uNkulunkulu ukuyokhonza ezweni elikude. Washiya ukuphila okunethezekile, wafaka ngisho nokuphila kwakhe engozini. (Genesise 12:1, 10-13) UPetru wamtusa uSara ngesibonelo sakhe sesibindi, wathi: “Seningabantwana bakhe, uma kodwa niqhubeka nenza okuhle futhi ningesabi lutho olubangela ukwesaba.”—1 Petru 3:6.
17. Kungani kungenzeka ukuthi uPetru wayecabanga nango-Abhigayili njengesibonelo sabafazi abangamaKristu?
17 Omunye wesifazane owayenesibindi owathembela kuNkulunkulu ngu-Abhigayili, futhi kungenzeka uPetru wayecabanga nangaye. “Wayemuhle ngokukhalipha,” kodwa umyeni wakhe uNabali ‘wayenokhahlo enemikhuba emibi.’ Lapho uNabali enqaba ukubasiza, uDavide namadoda ayekanye nawo balungiselela ukuyoqothula uNabali nendlu yakhe. Kodwa u-Abhigayili wathatha isinyathelo sokusindisa indlu yakhe. Wathatha ukudla wakuthwalisa izimbongolo wayohlangabeza uDavide nebutho lakhe. Lapho embona, wehla embongolweni wawela ezinyaweni zakhe, wamnxusa ukuba angathathi ngamawala. UDavide wathinteka ngokujulile. Wathi: “Makatuswe uJehova uNkulunkulu ka-Israyeli, okuthumele kulolu suku ukuba ungihlangabeze! Futhi makubusiswe ukuba nengqondo kwakho.”—1 Samuweli 25:2-33.
18. Uma bhekene nesilingo sokweshelwa enye indoda, abafazi bangacabanga ngasiphi isibonelo, futhi ngani?
18 Esinye isibonelo esihle sabafazi esentokazi engumShulamiti eyahlala iqotho kumalusi ophansi eyayithembisene naye umshado. Uthando lwayo ngomalusi lwahlala luqinile nalapho yeshelwa umbusi ocebile. Lapho ishukumiseleka ukuba iveze imizwa yayo ngensizwa engumalusi, yathi: “Ngibeke njengophawu phezu kwenhliziyo yakho, njengophawu phezu kwengalo yakho; ngoba uthando lunamandla njengokufa . . . Amanzi amaningi awakwazi ukulucima uthando, ngisho nemifula ngeke ikwazi ukulukhukhula.” (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 8:6, 7) Kwangathi bonke abamukela isicelo somshado nabo bangazimisela ukuhlala beqotho kubayeni babo futhi babahloniphe ngokujulile.
Esinye Iseluleko Esivela KuNkulunkulu
19, 20. (a) Kungani abafazi kufanele bazithobe kubayeni babo? (b) Isiphi isibonelo esihle esinikezwe abafazi?
19 Okokugcina, cabanga ngomongo womBhalo walesi sihloko: ‘Bafazi zithobeni kubayeni benu.’ (Efesu 5:22) Kungani kudingeka bazithobe? Ivesi elilandelayo liyaqhubeka: “Ngoba indoda iyinhloko yomkayo njengoba noKristu eyinhloko yebandla.” Ngakho, abafazi bayanxuswa: “Njengoba ibandla lithobela uKristu, kanjalo nabafazi mabathobele abayeni babo kuzo zonke izinto.”—Efesu 5:23, 24, 33.
20 Ukuze balalele lo myalo, abafazi kudingeka bahlolisise isibonelo sebandla likaKristu labalandeli abagcotshiwe bese besilingisa. Siza ufunde eyesi-2 Korinte 11:23-28 uthole lokho elinye ilungu lebandla, umphostoli uPawulu, elakubekezelela ngokuhlala lithembekile eNhlokweni yalo, uJesu Kristu. NjengoPawulu, abafazi kanye nabo bonke abanye ebandleni kudingeka bahlale bezithoba ngobuqotho kuJesu. Abafazi babonisa lokhu ngokuzithoba kubayeni babo.
21. Yini engashukumisa abafazi ukuba bahlale bezithobile kubayeni babo?
21 Nakuba abafazi abaningi namuhla bengase bangakuthandi ukuzithoba, owesifazane ohlakaniphile uyocabanga ngezinzuzo zakho. Ngokwesibonelo, uma umyeni wakhe engakholwa, ukuzithoba ebunhlokweni bakhe kuzo zonke izinto ezingaphuli imithetho noma izimiso zikaNkulunkulu kungase kube nomphumela omuhle kakhulu owukuba akwazi ‘ukusindisa umyeni wakhe.’ (1 Korinte 7:13, 16) Ngaphezu kwalokho, angathola ukwaneliseka ngokwazi ukuthi uJehova uNkulunkulu uyajabula ngenkambo yakhe futhi uyomvuza ngokucebile ngokulingisa isibonelo seNdodana yakhe ethandekayo.
Uyakhumbula?
• Kungani kungaba inselele kumfazi ukuhlonipha umyeni wakhe?
• Kungani ukwamukela isicelo somshado kuyindaba engathí sina kangaka?
• UJesu wababekela kanjani isibonelo abafazi, futhi iziphi izinzuzo ezingalethwa ukulandela isibonelo sakhe?
[Isithombe ekhasini 19]
Kungani ukunquma ukwamukela isicelo somshado kuyindaba engathí sina kangaka?
[Isithombe ekhasini 21]
Abafazi bangafundani esibonelweni sabantu abaseBhayibhelini abanjengo-Abhigayili?