Ukuthola Ukwaneliseka Njengomama
EMHLABENI wonke namuhla, abesifazane abaningi bayasebenza. Emazweni anothile, cishe isibalo sabesifazane abasebenzayo silingana nesamadoda. Emazweni asathuthuka, abesifazane bavame ukukhandleka amahora amaningi emasimini ukuze bondle imikhaya yabo.
Abesifazane abaningi abazi ukuthi bakhetheni phakathi kokusebenza okuyisidingo ukuze baziphilise nokunakekela imikhaya nemizi yabo. Laba besifazane akukhona nje ukuthi basebenzela ukukhokhela ukudla, izingubo nendawo yokukhosela kuphela kodwa kufanele futhi bakupheke lokho kudla, bawashe izingubo bahlanze nendlu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, omama abangamaKristu bazama ukugxilisa izindinganiso ezingokomoya ezinganeni zabo. UCristina, onezingane ezimbili ezingamantombazane, uyavuma: “Eqinisweni, ukulinganisela phakathi komsebenzi nemithwalo yomkhaya kunzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma unezingane ezincane. Akulula ukunikeza izingane konke ukunaka ezikudingayo.”
Yini ebangela ukuba omama bafune umsebenzi wokuziphilisa? Babhekana naziphi izinselele? Ingabe kuyadingeka yini ukuba umama asebenze ukuze athole ukwaneliseka?
Okwenza Omama Basebenze
Komama abaningi, ukusebenza kuyisidingo sangempela. Abanye abanabo abayeni abangabasiza ngemithwalo yezimali. Eminye imibhangqwana ithola ukuthi umholo womuntu oyedwa awanele ukunakekela izidingo zomkhaya eziyisisekelo.
Yiqiniso, akubona bonke omama abasebenza ngenxa yesidingo sezomnotho. Abaningi basebenza ngoba befuna ukuthuthukisa ukuzethemba. Abanye bangase basebenzele ukuzimela ngokwezimali noma ukuze bakhokhele izinto zokunethezeka. Abaningi bawenza kahle umsebenzi wabo futhi bayawujabulela.
Ukucindezela kontanga kungase kube esinye isizathu esenza abanye omama bazizwe bephoqeleka ukuba basebenze. Nakuba abantu abaningi bevuma ukuthi omama abasebenzayo babhekana njalo nokucindezeleka nokutubeka, labo abakhetha ukungasebenzi ngokuvamile abaqondwa kahle—baze bagconwe. Owesifazane othile wavuma: “Akulula ukuchazela abanye ukuthi umane nje ‘ungumama womuzi.’” Uthi: “Abanye abantu bakuveza ngamazwi noma ngesimo sobuso ukuthi uchitha ukuphila kwakho.” URebeca, ongumama wendodakazi eneminyaka emibili, uthi: “Nakuba umphakathi esihlala kuwo uqaphela ukuthi abesifazane kufanele banakekele izingane zabo, nginomuzwa wokuthi ubheka omama abangasebenzi njengabantu abaphansi ngandlela-thile.”
Ukuqhathanisa Inganekwane Namaqiniso
Kwezinye izingxenye zomhlaba, imithombo yezindaba iveza “owesifazane ovelele” njengowesifazane ophumelelayo emsebenzini wakhe—oholelwa kahle, ogqoka ezikanokusho nozethemba ngokuphelele. Lapho efika ekhaya, usuke esenamandla okuxazulula izinkinga zezingane zakhe, alungise amaphutha omyeni wakhe, futhi asingathe noma iziphi izinkinga zasekhaya. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi bambalwa kuphela abesifazane bangempela abangaphila ngendlela evumelana nale nganekwane.
Ngokuvamile, imisebenzi eminingi yokuziphilisa abesifazane abayitholayo iyisicefe futhi iholela kancane. Okudumazayo ukuthi omama abasebenzayo bangase bathole ukuthi umsebenzi abawenzayo ubenza bangakwazi ukusebenzisa amakhono abo angokwemvelo ngokugcwele. Incwadi ethi Social Psychology ithi: “Nakuba kwenziwe intuthuko ukuze abantu balingane, abesilisa bayaqhubeka bephethe imisebenzi eholela kangcono nezikhundla eziphakeme. Ngakho-ke, abesifazane abancike emsebenzini ukuze bazethembe basesimweni esibucayi.” Iphephandaba leSpanishi i-País lithi: “Endabeni yabesifazane, kulinganiselwa ukuthi basengozini ephindwe kathathu yokuhlushwa izinkinga eziphathelene nokucindezeleka kunabesilisa, ngoba iningi linemisebenzi emibili—owasehhovisi nowasekhaya.”
Indlela Abayeni Abangasiza Ngayo
Yiqiniso, ukuthi umama ongumKristu kufanele asebenze yini noma cha kuyisinqumo somuntu siqu. Kodwa uma eshadile, yena nomyeni wakhe kufanele benze leso sinqumo ngemva kokuxoxa ngendaba nokucabangela zonke izici ngokucophelela.—IzAga 14:15.
Kuthiwani uma umbhangqwana unquma ukuthi ngenxa yesidingo sezomnotho, bobabili kufanele nakanjani basebenze? Esimweni esinjalo, indoda ehlakaniphile iyocabangela lo myalo weBhayibheli ngokukhethekile: “Nina madoda kumelwe nibonise ukuqonda emshadweni: niphathe omkenu ngenhlonipho, hhayi ngoba bebuthaka ngokomzimba kuphela, kodwa ngenxa yokuthi nihlanganyela ndawonye isipho sokuphila sikaNkulunkulu.” (1 Petru 3:7, The Revised English Bible) Noma nini lapho kunokwenzeka khona, iyosiza umkayo ngemisebenzi yasekhaya. NjengoJesu, indoda iyokujabulela ukwenza imisebenzi ephansi ngokuthobeka, ingayigwemi imisebenzi enjalo njengokungathi iyayehlisa. (Johane 13:12-15) Kunalokho, iyobheka le misebenzi njengethuba lokubonisa uthando lwayo kumkayo ozikhandlayo. Uyolwazisa kakhulu lolo sizo.—Efesu 5:25, 28, 29.
Akungabazeki ukuthi uma bobabili abashadile kumelwe basebenze, kubalulekile ukubambisana ekhaya. Leli qiniso ligcizelelwa umbiko kuyi-ABC, iphephandaba laseSpain. Sikhuluma ngocwaningo olwenziwa yi-Institute of Family Matters, lesi sihloko sathi inani eliphakeme lezehlukaniso eSpain alibangelwa nje “ukuphelelwa yizindinganiso ezingokwenkolo nezokuziphatha” kuphela kodwa nayinhlanganisela yezinye izici ezimbili—“ukusebenza kwabesifazane kanye nokwehluleka kwamadoda ukubasiza ngemisebenzi yasekhaya.”
Indima Ebalulekile Kamama OngumKristu
Nakuba uJehova enikeza obaba umthwalo oyinhloko wokuqeqesha izingane zabo, omama abangamaKristu bayazi ukuthi nabo baphathiswe indima ebalulekile—ikakhulukazi lapho umntwana esewusana. (IzAga 1:8; Efesu 6:4) UJehova wayekhuluma nomama nobaba lapho eyala ama-Israyeli ukuba agxilise uMthetho wakhe ezinganeni zabo. Wayazi ukuthi le nqubo yayiyodinga isikhathi nesineke, ikakhulukazi phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yokuphila komntwana. Ngenxa yalesi sizathu, uNkulunkulu watshela abazali ukuthi kufanele baqeqeshe izingane zabo lapho besekhaya, besendleleni, lapho bevuka, nalapho belala.—Duteronomi 6:4-7.
IZwi likaNkulunkulu ligcizelela ukuthi indima yomama ibalulekile futhi ihloniphekile lapho liyala izingane: “Ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko.” (IzAga 6:20) Yiqiniso, owesifazane oshadile uyothintana nomyeni wakhe ngaphambi kokushayela izingane imithetho. Kodwa njengoba la mavesi ebonisa, omama banelungelo lokushaya umthetho. Izingane eziyilalelayo imithetho engokomoya neyokuziphatha eziyifundiswa umama owesaba uNkulunkulu ziyozuza kakhulu. (IzAga 6:21, 22) UTeresa, ongumama wamadodana amabili, wachaza ukuthi kungani engazange awufune umsebenzi wokuziphilisa. Wathi: “Ukukhulisa izingane zami ukuze zikhonze uNkulunkulu kuwumsebenzi omkhulu kakhulu enginawo. Ngifuna ukuwenza ngendlela engcono kakhulu lo msebenzi.”
Omama Abenza Umahluko
Inkosi yakwa-Israyeli uLemuweli ngokuqinisekile yazuza emizamweni eqotho kanina. “Umyalezo onohlonze” unina amnika wona lapho “emqondisa” uhlanganisiwe njengengxenye yeZwi likaNkulunkulu eliphefumulelwe. (IzAga 31:1; 2 Thimothewu 3:16) Incazelo yalo mama yomfazi onekhono isawasiza amadodana ukuba akhethe umngane womshado ngokuhlakanipha. Futhi izixwayiso zakhe ngokuziphatha okubi nokuphuza ngokweqile zisasebenza namuhla njengoba kwakunjalo lapho ziqala ukulotshwa.—IzAga 31:3-5, 10-31.
Ekhulwini lokuqala, umphostoli uPawulu wancoma umsebenzi omuhle owafezwa umama okuthiwa u-Evnike ekufundiseni indodana yakhe uThimothewu. Njengoba umyeni wakhe ongakholwa kungenzeka wayekhulekela onkulunkulu bamaGreki, u-Evnike kwadingeka ukuba athonye uThimothewu ukuba abe nokholo ‘emibhalweni engcwele.’ U-Evnike waqala nini ukufundisa uThimothewu imiBhalo? Umlando ophefumulelwe uthi lokhu kwenzeka ‘kusukela uThimothewu esewusana.’ (2 Thimothewu 1:5; 3:14, 15) Ukholo luka-Evnike nesibonelo sakhe, kanye nemfundiso yakhe, ngokusobala kwalungiselela uThimothewu inkonzo yakhe yesikhathi esizayo njengesithunywa sevangeli.—Filipi 2:19-22.
IBhayibheli likhuluma nangomama okwathi ngenxa yokwamukela kwabo izinceku zikaNkulunkulu ezithembekile basiza izingane zabo ukuba zijwayelane nezibonelo ezinhle. Ngokwesibonelo, owesifazane waseShunemi wayevame ukwamukela umprofethi u-Elisha njalo emzini wakhe. Kamuva u-Elisha wavusa indodana yakhe ekufeni. (2 AmaKhosi 4:8-10, 32-37) Cabangela nesibonelo sikaMariya, umama womlobi weBhayibheli uMarku. Ngokusobala wavula umuzi wakhe eJerusalema njengendawo yokubuthana yabafundi bokuqala. (IzEnzo 12:12) Ngokuqinisekile uMarku wazuza ngokuba nobudlelwane nabaphostoli kanye namanye amaKristu ayefika njalo kubo.
Ngokusobala, uJehova ukwazisa kakhulu ukuzikhandla kwabesifazane abathembekile abagxilisa izimiso zakhe ezinganeni zabo. Laba besifazane ubathanda ngenxa yobuqotho babo nemizamo abayenzayo yokwakha isimo esingokomoya ekhaya.—2 Samuweli 22:26; IzAga 14:1.
Isinqumo Esanelisa Kunazo Zonke
Njengoba izibonelo ezingokomBhalo ezingenhla zibonisa, ukunakekela izidingo zomkhaya ezingokomzimba, ezingokomoya nezingokomzwelo kuletha imivuzo eyingqayizivele. Kodwa ukwenza lokho akulula. Umsebenzi kamama ekhaya ngokuvamile ubonakala unzima kakhulu kunanoma isiphi isikhundla esiphakeme emsebenzini.
Yiqiniso, uma umama, ngemva kokucela isiqondiso somyeni wakhe, ekhetha ukunciphisa isikhathi sokusebenza, kungase kudingeke ukuba umkhaya wehlise izinga lokuphila futhi kungase kudingeke abekezelele ukugconwa yilabo abangayiqondi indlela acabanga ngayo. Kodwa imivuzo ingaba ngaphezu kokuzidela. UPaqui unezingane ezintathu futhi ubamba amatoho. Uthi: “Ngiyathanda ukuba sekhaya lapho izingane zifika zivela esikoleni ukuze kube nothile ezizoxoxa naye.” Izingane zakhe zizuza kanjani? Uthi: “Ngizisiza ngomsebenzi wazo wasekhaya, futhi uma kuqhamuka izinkinga, ngingazisingatha ngokushesha. Isikhathi esisichitha ndawonye nsuku zonke sisiza ekugcineni imizila yokukhulumisana ivulekile. Lesi sikhathi engisichitha nezingane zami ngisazisa kakhulu kangangokuba ngenqaba umsebenzi owawungifuna isikhathi esigcwele.”
Omama abaningi abangamaKristu bathole ukuthi uma bekwazi ukunciphisa isikhathi abasichitha emsebenzini wokuziphilisa, bonke emkhayeni bayazuza. UCristina, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, uyachaza: “Lapho ngiyeka umsebenzi, kubonakala sengathi ukuphila komkhaya kwaqala ukuhamba ngendlela eshelelayo. Ngathola isikhathi sokuxoxa nezingane zami nokusiza umyeni wami ngezindlela eziningi ezingokoqobo. Ngaqala ukukujabulela ukufundisa amadodakazi ami, ukuwabona efunda futhi ethuthuka.” Kunesenzakalo uCristina asikhumbula ngokukhethekile. Uthi: “Izibulo lami laqala ukufunda ukucathula enkulisa, kodwa indodakazi yami yesibili ngayifundisa mina ekhaya. Yacathula yawela ezandleni zami. Leso senzakalo sangilethela ukwaneliseka okukhulu!”
Esinye isici okufanele sicatshangelwe ukuthi ukuzidela ngokwezimali okuhilelekile lapho umama enciphisa isikhathi asisebenzayo kungase kube yinto engalindelekile. UCristina uyachaza: “Izindleko zasenkulisa nezokuhamba empeleni zazidla ingxenye enkulu yomholo wami. Lapho sihlaziya isimo sethu ngokucophelela, saqaphela ukuthi umsebenzi wami wawungangenisi imali eningi kangako ekhaya.”
Ngemva kokucabangela isimo sayo, eminye imibhangqwana inquma ukuthi izinzuzo zokuba inkosikazi inakekele umkhaya isikhathi esigcwele zikudlula kude ukuzidela ngokwezimali okufanele ikwenze. Umyeni kaCristina, uPaul, uthi: “Ngiyajabula ngokuthi umkami usekhaya unakekela izingane zethu ezimbili ezisencane. Kwakusibangela ukucindezeleka kakhulu sobabili lapho umkami esasebenza.” Lesi sinqumo siye saba naliphi ithonya emadodakazini abo amabili? UPaul uthi: “Akukhona nje ukuthi azizwa elondekile kuphela, kodwa avikeleka kakhulu emathonyeni amabi njengoba esakhula.” Kungani lo mbhangqwana unomuzwa wokuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uchithe isikhathi esiningi ngangokunokwenzeka namadodakazi awo? UPaul uyaphendula: “Ngiyaqiniseka ngokuthi uma thina bazali singabhali ezinhliziyweni zezingane zethu, ngomqondo ongokomfanekiso, kuyobhala othile.”
Ngokusobala, umbhangqwana ngamunye kufanele uhlaziye isimo sawo, futhi akukho muntu okufanele agxeke izinqumo ezingase zenziwe abanye. (Roma 14:4; 1 Thesalonika 4:11) Noma kunjalo, kuhle ukucabangela izinzuzo eziningi ezitholwa umkhaya lapho umama engasebenzi. Efingqa indlela azizwa ngayo ngale ndaba, uTeresa, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Akukho okuletha ukwaneliseka njengokuchitha isikhathi esiningi ngangokunokwenzeka unakekela futhi ufundisa izingane zakho.”—IHubo 127:3.
[Isithombe ekhasini 31]
Omama abangamaKristu bahlanganyela emsebenzi obalulekile wokuqeqesha izingane zabo