Izithiyo Zokuba Ngumama

Ukuba ngumama kuyinto enzima nejabulisayo. Omama bajabulela izikhathi eziyigugu abebengeke bathande ukuzishintsha nganoma yini. Kodwa, ngezinye izikhathi abanye baba nomuzwa wokuthi sekungaphezu kwamandla. UHelen uqhathanisa ukuphila kwakhe njengomama nezithiyo zomncintiswano wokugijima. Futhi kubonakala sengathi njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, kunezithiyo ezengeziwe futhi ezinzima nakakhulu.

Omama bangase badele isikhathi sabo esikhululekile nobungane ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi izingane zabo zinakekelwa kahle. “Ngihlale ngilindile,” kusho u-Esther, umama wezingane ezinhlanu. “Esikhundleni sokugeza kubhavu ngiphumule, sengigeza eshaweni ngokushesha, esikhundleni sokudla izibiliboco, sesidla ukudla okufudumezekayo. Angikwazi ukuhamba, ngibone izindawo ngenze nezinto ezithile. Kodwa ukuwasha ngiyawasha, futhi ngigoqe izimpahla!”

Yiqiniso, omama abaningi bangakhuluma nangezikhathi ezivelele zenjabulo ababa nazo lapho bekhulisa izingane. U-Esther uthi: “Ukumomotheka okubonayo ngezinye izikhathi, kuthiwe ‘Ngiyabonga mama,’ futhi wangiwe—lezi yizinto ezikushukumisela ukuba uqhubeke.”a

Umama Uqala Ukusebenza

Isithiyo esiyinhloko esiye senza ukuba ngumama kwaba nzima ukuthi abaningi basingatha imithwalo yemfanelo yomkhaya evamile kuyilapho besebenza ukuze basize ekusekeleni umkhaya ngokwezimali. Abaningi balab’ omama basebenza ngaphandle kwasekhaya, hhayi ngoba bethanda, kodwa ngoba kudingekile. Bayazi ukuthi uma behlala ekhaya, imikhaya yabo, ikakhulukazi izingane, ngeke zizithole izinto eziningi. Iholo labo—ngokuvamile elingaphansi kwelamadoda enza umsebenzi ofanayo—libaluleke kakhulu.

Ngokwesibonelo, eSão Paulo, eBrazil, amaphesenti angu-42 abantu abasebenzayo ngabesifazane. Iphephandaba lapho labiza omama abakhulisa izingane ekhaya ngokuthi “uhlobo lokuphila olusengozini yokuqothulwa.” Ezindaweni zasemakhaya e-Afrika, kuyinto evamile ukubona umama othwele inyanda yezinkuni ebelethe ingane.

Umsebenzi Okhandlayo

Okwenezela ezithiyweni ukuthi kungase kudingeke ukuba omama basebenze amahora amaningi emsebenzini wokuziphilisa. Futhi kungase kungagcini lapho. Lapho uMaria ohlala eGreece eqashwa, umqashi wakhe wamcela ukuba asayine iphepha athembisa kulo ukuthi wayengeke akhulelwe kuze kuphele iminyaka emithathu. Uma ekhulelwa, kwakuzodingeka akhokhe isinxephezelo. UMaria walisayina lelo phepha. Kodwa esikhathini esingangonyaka nesigamu kamuva, wakhulelwa. Umqashi wakhe wabe esebonisa uMaria leli phepha, uMaria waqonda enkantolo wayomangalela inqubo yenkampani yakhe futhi manje ulinde umphumela.

Kwezinye izimo ezingezimbi kangako, abaqashi bangase bacindezele omama ukuba babuyele emsebenzini ngokushesha ngemva kokuteta. Ngokuvamile abawancishiselwa amahora abawasebenzayo ngemva kokuba bebuyile. Ngakho ayingenwa eyokuthi manje sebenemithwalo yemfanelo yosana olusha. Abakwazi ukungayi emsebenzini isikhathi eside ngaphandle kobunzima ngokwezimali. Omama kungase kudingeke futhi babhekane nezinkulisa ezisezingeni eliphansi nezinzuzo ezinganele ezitholakala kuhulumeni.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abanye omama abasebenzeli izidingo zemali, kodwa basebenzela ukuthola ukwaneliseka. USandra wanquma ukubuyela emsebenzini ngemva kokuzalwa kwengane ngayinye ezinganeni zakhe ezimbili. Ukhumbula ukuthi lapho ezithola eseyedwa ekhaya nengane, “ngezinye izikhathi wayema abuke ngefasitela futhi azibuze ukuthi kazi bonke abanye abantu benzani.” Abanye omama bafuna ukubalekela ukucindezeleka kokuphila komkhaya ngokusebenza. I-Daily Telegraph yaseBrithani yabika: “Abanye abazali bafuna amahora engeziwe emsebenzini ngoba kuzolile ngezinga elithile. Lokhu kudala ezinye izinkinga, kusinciphisa nakakhulu isikhathi abasichitha nezingane ezingenamzwelo, ezinolaka nezingalaleli.”

Ungexoshe Mpalambili

Ukulinganisela umsebenzi nezinto zasekhaya akulula. Ezwakalisa imizwa abaningi abanayo, umama othile waseNetherlands wathi: “Ngikhathele, ngikhathele, ngikhathele. Ngisho noma ngivuka, ngivuka ngikhathele ngiyingcuba. Uma ngibuya emsebenzini, ngibuya ngikhathele. Kakade izingane sezithi, ‘Umama uhlale ekhathele,’ futhi lokho kungenza ngizizwe nginecala. Angifuni ukuphutha emsebenzini, kodwa futhi ngifuna ukuba ngumama okahle okwazi ukwenza yonke into. Kodwa angikona neze lokho engifuna ukuba yikho.”

Ungomunye wezigidi zomama abasebenzayo abanomqondo wokuthi ‘ukuchitha isikhathi esakhayo’ nezingane kungasivala ngokwengxenye isikhala esivulwa ukuthi isikhathi esiningi usuke ungekho—nabaye bawuthola unganelisi lo mqondo. Omama abaningi namuhla bathi ukuzama ukulinganisela ukucindezela komsebenzi nemithwalo yasekhaya kubashiya betubekile, bekhandlekile kanti bahola kancane.

Uma abesifazane bechitha isikhathi esiningi bengekho ezinganeni zabo, izingane azikutholi lokho ezikudinga kakhulu—isikhathi nokunakwa unina. UFernanda A. Lima, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane saseBrazil, uthi akekho umuntu ongafeza indima kamama njengomama. Uthi: “Iminyaka emibili yokuqala ekuphileni kwengane ingebaluleke kakhulu. Ingane isencane kakhulu ukuba ingaqonda ukuthi kungani unina engekho.” Umuntu osesikhundleni sikamama angase asenze sibe ngcono isidingo sengane sikanina kodwa ngeke ayithathe indawo yakhe. “Ingane iyezwa ukuthi ayikutholi ukunakekelwa kothando kukamama,” kusho uLima.

UKathy, umama osebenza isikhathi esigcwele onendodakazi encane, wathi: ‘Ngangizizwa nginecala kakhulu, sengathi ngiyilahlele [enkulisa]. Kunzima ukwazi ukuthi uphuthelwa yithuba lokubona ingane yakho ikhula futhi ichuma, futhi kubuhlungu ukucabanga ukuthi isondelene kakhulu nabantu basenkulisa kunawe.’ Umnakekeli wasendizeni eMexico wavuma: “Ngemva kwesikhathi, ingane yakho ayisakwazi, ayisakuhloniphi ngenxa nje yokuthi awuyikhulisi. Ziyazi ukuthi ungunina, kodwa zivele zikhethe ukuchitha isikhathi nowesifazane ozinakekelayo.”

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, omama abahlala ekhaya ukuze banakekele izingane zabo bathi kufanele bakhuthazelele ukubukelwa phansi umphakathi ololongelwe ukuphakamisa umsebenzi oholelayo. Kweminye imiphakathi ukuba ngumama ohlala ekhaya akusabhekwa njengento ehloniphekile, ngakho abesifazane bacindezelwa ukuba babe nemisebenzi yabo, ngisho noma bengayidingi imali eyengeziwe.

Bazizabalazela Bodwa

Okunye okwenezela ezithiyweni zokuba ngumama yileli qiniso: Ekhathele ngenxa yokusebenza usuku lonke, umama akabuyeli ukuzophumula ekhaya kodwa uqhubeka nemisebenzi yasendlini evamile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi omama basebenza umsebenzi wokuziphilisa noma cha, bavame ukubhekwa njengokuyibo ngokuyinhloko okumelwe banakekele indlu nezingane.

Nakuba inani elandayo lomama lisebenza amahora amaningi, obaba abavamile ukuvala leso sikhala. I-Sunday Times yaseLondon yabhala: “IBrithani iyisizwe esingenabo obaba, ngokocwaningo olusha olubonisa ukuthi amadoda achitha isikhathi esincane esingaba yimizuzu engu-15 ngosuku nezingane zawo. . . . Amadoda amaningi awakujabuleli kangako ukuchitha isikhathi nemikhaya yawo. . . . Uma kuqhathaniswa, umama waseBrithani osebenzayo uchitha imizuzu engu-90 ngosuku enezingane zakhe.”

Abanye abayeni bakhononda ngokuthi omkabo bakuthola kunzima ukwaba imisebenzi ngoba baphikelela ekutheni yonke into kufanele yenziwe ngendlela bona abajwayele ukuyenza ngayo. “Kungenjalo awuyenzi kahle,” kusho abayeni. Kusobala ukuthi ukuze azuze lapho umyeni wakhe ebambisana naye, umfazi okhathele kungase kudingeke azimisele ukuvumelana nenye indlela izinto zasendlini ezenziwa ngayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umyeni akufanele asebenzise lokho njengezaba zokungenzi lutho.

Ukwenezela Izithiyo

Amasiko ajulile nawo angase anezele izithiyo. EJapane, kulindeleke ukuba omama bakhulise izingane ezifana nezinye ezingontanga yazo. Uma ezinye izingane zenza izifundo zopiyano noma zokudweba, umama uzizwa ephoqelekile ukuba nezingane zakhe zenze okufanayo. Izikole zicindezela abazali ukuba izingane zabo zihlanganyele emisebenzini yangemva kwesikole eyenziwa ezinye izingane. Ukuhluka kungaholela ekuhlukunyezweni ezinye izingane, othisha, nabanye abazali nezihlobo. Kuyinto efanayo nakwamanye amazwe.

Ezokukhangisa nezokuthenga zingase zenze izingane zifune izinto eziningi. Emazweni athuthukile, omama bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele bathengele izingane zabo lokho ezikufunayo ngoba babona abanye omama bezithengela lezo zinto. Uma bengakwenzi lokho, bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi bayizehluleki.

Le ngxoxo ngokuba umama namuhla akufanele isithibeze izenzo ezibabazekayo zezigidi zomama abazikhandlayo nabazidelayo abenza okusemandleni abo ukufeza omunye wemisebenzi emihle kakhulu—wokukhulisa izizukulwane zesikhathi esizayo zomkhaya wesintu. Lokhu kuyilungelo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Izingane ziyisibusiso nesipho esivela ENKOSINI.” (IHubo 127:3, Contemporary English Version) UMiriam, ongumama wezingane ezimbili, ubamelela kahle omama abanjalo lapho ethi: “Naphezu kwezinselele, ukuba ngumama kunenjabulo engenakuqhathaniswa. Kusinikeza umuzwa wokwaneliseka thina bomama lapho sibona izingane zethu zamukela ukuqeqeshwa nesiyalo esisinikezayo futhi ziba ngamalungu awusizo emphakathini.”

Yini engasiza omama ukuba basijabulele nakakhulu isipho sabo? Isihloko esilandelayo sizonikeza ukusikisela okuwusizo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

“USuku Lomama”

Ubumpofu obesabekayo, ukuntuleka kwemfundo, amadoda angenalusizo, ukuhlukunyezwa njalo nomqedazwe wengculaza kuhlupha omama baseningizimu ye-Afrika. Libika ngoSuku Lomama lwamuva, iphephandaba laseNingizimu Afrika, i-Citizen, lathi: “Abesifazane abayizinkulungwane bazohlukunyezwa amadoda abo futhi abanye bazolahlekelwa ukuphila kwabo ngoSuku Lomama.” Izinkinga ezinjalo ziholela izinkulungwane zomama baseNingizimu Afrika ukuba zilahle izingane zazo unyaka ngamunye. Enkathini eyiminyaka emibili muva nje, izingane ezilahliwe zande ngamaphesenti angu-25. Okuqeda ithemba nakakhulu inani elandayo labesifazane abazibulalayo. Muva nje, owesifazane wasendaweni ekhungethwe ubumpofu wagona izingane zakhe ezintathu esifubeni wema phambi kwesitimela esasisondela. Bafa bonke. Ukuze baphile, abanye omama baphendukela ekuthengiseni ngemizimba nasekuthengiseni izidakamizwa ezingekho emthethweni noma bakhuthaze amadodakazi abo ukuba enze kanjalo.

EHong Kong kubikwa ukuthi “abanye omama abasebancane babulala izingane uma beteta noma bazilahle emgqonyeni kadoti, njengoba bengeke bakwazi ukubhekana nezingcindezi.” I-South China Morning Post yaphawula ukuthi abanye besifazane abashade besebancane eHong Kong “manje bacindezeleke kakhulu [kangangokuthi] impilo yabo yengqondo ingawohloka kuze kufike ezingeni lokuba bazibulale.”

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]

Ukuba Ngumama Emazweni Ahlukahlukene

Isikhathi esincane kangaka

❖ Ukuhlola okwenziwa eHong Kong kwembula ukuthi omama abasebenzayo abangamaphesenti angu-60 abazinikezi izingane zabo isikhathi abacabanga ukuthi sanele. Futhi izingane ezineminyaka efinyelela kwemithathu ezingamaphesenti angu-20 zabazali abasebenzayo zihlala kude nasemakubo phakathi nesonto, ngokuvamile nogogo nomkhulu.

❖ Abesifazane baseMexico bachitha iminyaka engaba ngu-13 ekuphileni kwabo kukhona okungenani ingane eyodwa eneminyaka engaphansi kwemihlanu ubudala abayinakekelayo.

Omama nomsebenzi

❖ E-Ireland abesifazane abangamaphesenti angu-60 bahlala ekhaya ukuze banakekele izingane. EGreece, e-Italy naseSpain, abesifazane abangaba ngamaphesenti angu-40 benza okufanayo.

Ukusiza ekhaya

❖ EJapane, amaphesenti angu-80 abesifazane abahlala ekhaya athi afisa sengathi ilungu lomkhaya belingawasiza ngemisebenzi yasendlini, ikakhulukazi uma egula.

❖ ENetherlands amadoda achitha isikhathi esingaba amahora amabili ngosuku nezingane, nangu-0,7 enza imisebenzi yasendlini. Abesifazane bachitha cishe amahora amathathu nezingane nangu-1,7 benza imisebenzi yasendlini.

Omama abacindezelekile

❖ EJalimane omama abangamaphesenti angaphezu kwangu-70 bazizwa becindezelekile. Abangaba ngamaphesenti angu-51 bakhononda ngomgogodla neqolo. Abangaphezu kwengxenye yesithathu bahlale bekhathele futhi bephelelwe ithemba. Cishe abangamaphesenti angu-30 baphathwa ikhanda elivamile noma elingapheli.

Omama abahlukunyezwayo

❖ EHong Kong abesifazane abangamaphesenti amane abahlolwa bathi babehlukunyezwa lapho besakhulelwe.

❖ Ukuhlola okwenziwa umagazini i-Focus eJalimane kwabonisa ukuthi cishe umama oyedwa kwabangu-6 wavuma ukuthi wahlaselwa yingane yakhe ngokomzimba okungenani kanye.

[Izithombe ekhasini 7]

Ukuba ngumama kungakucindezela kakhulu, njengoba abesifazane abaningi kudingeka balinganisele phakathi komsebenzi nokuphila komkhaya