Thola Injabulo Emshadweni Wakho
“Indlu iyokwakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, futhi ngokuqonda iyokuma iqine.”—IZAGA 24:3.
1. UNkulunkulu wakubonisa kanjani ukuhlakanipha ngokuqondene nomuntu wokuqala?
UBABA wethu osezulwini ohlakaniphile uyakwazi okusilungele. Ngokwesibonelo, uNkulunkulu waqaphela ukuthi ukuze injongo yakhe ifezeke, ‘kwakungeke kube kuhle ukuba umuntu ahlale yedwa’ ensimini yase-Edene. Isici esiyinhloko saleyo njongo sasiwukuba abantu abashadile babe nabantwana futhi ‘bagcwalise umhlaba.’—Gen. 1:28; 2:18.
2. Iliphi ilungiselelo uJehova alenza ukuze kuzuze isintu?
2 UJehova wathi: “Ngizomenzela umsizi, abe umphelelisi wakhe.” UNkulunkulu wabe esenza ukuba umuntu wokuqala ehlelwe ubuthongo obukhulu, futhi wakhipha ubambo emzimbeni wakhe ophelele wenza ngalo owesifazane. Lapho uJehova esemlethela lona wesifazane ophelele, u-Eva, u-Adamu wathi: “Ekugcineni usekhona oyithambo lamathambo ami nenyama yenyama yami. Lo uzobizwa ngokuthi yiNdodakazi, ngoba uthathwe endodeni.” Ngempela u-Eva wayemphelelisa u-Adamu. Yilowo nalowo wayezobonisa izimfanelo ezihlukile, kodwa bobabili babephelele futhi benziwe ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu. UJehova wawuhlela kanjalo umshado wokuqala. U-Adamu no-Eva ababanga nankinga yokulamukela leli lungiselelo likaNkulunkulu elaliyobenza basizane futhi basekelane.—Gen. 1:27; 2:21-23.
3. Abaningi basibheka kanjani isipho somshado, okuholela kumiphi imibuzo?
3 Kuyadabukisa ukuthi namuhla izwe ligcwele umoya wokuvukela. Izinkinga ozibangelayo aziveli kuNkulunkulu. Abaningi basibukela phansi isipho sikaNkulunkulu somshado, basibheka njengesiphelelwe isikhathi, umthombo wokukhungatheka noma izingxabano. Kwabaningi abashadayo kuvame isehlukaniso. Izingane zingase zingaboniswa uthando futhi abazali bangase bazisebenzisele ukuthola abakufunayo lapho bexabene. Abazali abaningi abafuni ukuzivumelanisa nezimo, ngisho nangenjongo yokuba kube nokuthula nobunye. (2 Thim. 3:3) Ingalondolozwa kanjani-ke injabulo emshadweni kulezi zikhathi ezibucayi? Ukucabangela nokuzivumelanisa nezimo kunayiphi indima ekugwemeni ukuchitheka komshado? Yini esingayifunda ezibonelweni zanamuhla zalabo abaye balondoloza injabulo emshadweni wabo?
Ukulalela Isiqondiso SikaJehova
4. (a) Isiphi isiqondiso esanikezwa uPawulu ngokuphathelene nomshado? (b) AmaKristu alalelayo asilandela kanjani isiqondiso sikaPawulu?
4 Umphostoli uPawulu ongumKristu wanikeza abafelokazi isiqondiso esiphefumulelwe sokuthi uma bekhetha ukuphinde bashade, kufanele benze kanjalo “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Kor. 7:39) Lo myalo wawungemusha kumaKristu ayenesizinda sobuJuda. UMthetho uNkulunkulu awunika ama-Israyeli wayala ngokucacile ukuthi kwakungamelwe “akhe ubuhlobo bomshado” nanoma ubani ongowezizwe ezingamaqaba ezaziwazungezile. UJehova wanezela le ncazelo eqokomisa ingozi yokuyishaya indiva le ndinganiso yakhe: “Ngoba [umuntu ongeyena umIsrayeli uyophendula] indodana yakho ingabe isangilandela, ngokuqinisekile bakhonze abanye onkulunkulu; intukuthelo kaJehova iyonivuthela impela, futhi ngokuqinisekile akubhuqe ngokushesha.” (Dut. 7:3, 4) UJehova ulindele ukuba izinceku zakhe zanamuhla ziyibheke kanjani le ndaba? Kuyacaca ukuthi inceku kaNkulunkulu kufanele ikhethe umngane womshado ‘oseNkosini,’ ongumkhulekeli okanye nayo ozinikezele, wabhapathizwa. Kuyinkambo yokuhlakanipha ukulalela isiqondiso sikaJehova kule ndaba.
5. UJehova namaKristu ashadile bazibheka kanjani izifungo zomshado?
5 Izifungo zomshado zingcwele kuNkulunkulu. Lapho ikhuluma ngomshado wokuqala, neNdodana kaNkulunkulu, uJesu, yathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu akubophele ndawonye makungahlukaniswa muntu.” (Math. 19:6) Umhubi usikhumbuza ukuthi izifungo zingezingathí sina kangakanani: “Nikela ukubonga njengomhlatshelo wakho kuNkulunkulu, ugcwalise izithembiso zakho ezifungelwe koPhezukonke.” (IHu. 50:14) Nakuba umbhangqwana oshadile ungase ulindele injabulo enkulu, izifungo ezenziwa ngosuku lomshado zingezingathí sina futhi zihambisana nomthwalo wemfanelo.—Dut. 23:21.
6. Yini esingayifunda esibonelweni sikaJefta?
6 Cabanga ngendaba kaJefta, owaba ngumahluleli kwa-Israyeli ngekhulu le-12 B.C.E. Wenza lesi sifungo kuJehova: “Uma nakanjani unikela abantwana bakwa-Amoni esandleni sami, kuyokuthi lowo ophumayo, ophuma eminyango yendlu yami ezongihlangabeza lapho ngibuya ngokuthula kubantwana bakwa-Amoni, abe ngokaJehova, ngizomnikela lowo abe ngumnikelo wokushiswa.” Lapho kwenzeka kuba indodakazi yakhe, enguzinyo-bulala, ephumayo izomhlangabeza lapho ebuyela ekhaya lakhe eMispa, ingabe uJefta wacabanga ukusephula isifungo sakhe? Cha. Wathi: “Ngivulé umlomo wami kuJehova, futhi angikwazi ukuhlehla.” (AbaHl. 11:30, 31, 35) UJefta wasigcina isithembiso asenza kuJehova, nakuba lokhu kwakusho ukuthi wayengeke abe nanzalo eyayizoqhubekisela phambili igama lakhe. Isifungo sikaJefta sasihlukile kwezomshado, kodwa ukusigcina kwakhe kuyisibonelo esihle emadodeni nasemakhosikazini angamaKristu ngokuqondene nezifungo zabo.
Yini Eyenza Umshado Uphumelele?
7. Iziphi izinguquko abasanda kushada okudingeka bazenze?
7 Imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile iyajabula lapho icabanga ngesikhathi isathandana. Yeka ukuthi kwakujabulisa kanjani ukufunda lowo owayezoba umngane womshado! Njengoba yayichitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, yasondelana nakakhulu. Kodwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yaqale yathandana ngaphambi kokushada noma mhlawumbe umshado wahlelwa abazali, ekugcineni lapho ishada, kwakubalulekile ukuba yenze izinguquko. Omunye umyeni uyavuma: “Inkinga enkulu esaba nayo lapho sisanda kushada kwakuwukukhumbula ukuthi sesishadile. Isikhathi esithile, sakuthola kunzima ukulinganisela endabeni yabangane nezihlobo.” Omunye umyeni oseneminyaka engu-30 eshadile, washeshe wabona ukuthi ukuze alinganisele kwakudingeka “akhumbule ukuthi akaseyedwa.” Ngaphambi kokuba amukele isimemo noma azibophe ngandlela-thile, ubonisana nomkakhe abese enquma, ecabangela izithakazelo zabo bobabili. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kuyasiza ukuba ocabangelayo.—IzAga 13:10.
8, 9. (a) Kungani ukukhulumisana okuhle kubalulekile? (b) Ukuzivumelanisa nezimo kusiza kuziphi izici, futhi ngani?
8 Ngezinye izikhathi umshado uhlanganisa abantu ababili abanezizinda ezihlukene. Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile kudingeka kakhulu kulesi simo. Izindlela zokukhulumisana ziyehluka. Ukubheka indlela umngane wakho womshado axoxa ngayo nezihlobo kungakusiza ukuba umqonde kangcono. Ngezinye izikhathi akukhona ngempela okushiwoyo okwembula lokho umuntu akucabangayo ngempela, kodwa indlela akusho ngayo. Kuningi ongakuthola kulokho umuntu angakushongo. (IzAga 16:24; Kol. 4:6) Ukuqonda akuve kubalulekile ukuze nijabule.—Funda izAga 24:3.
9 Mayelana nokukhetha imisetshenzana yokuzilibazisa nezokuzijabulisa, abaningi baye bakuthola kubalulekile ukuzivumelanisa nezimo. Ngaphambi kokuba nishade, kungenzeka ukuthi umngane wakho womshado wayechitha isikhathi kwezemidlalo noma kwezinye izinto zokuzilibazisa. Ingabe kuyafaneleka ukwenza izinguquko ezithile manje? (1 Thim. 4:8) Ungazibuza umbuzo ofanayo mayelana nesikhathi osichitha nezihlobo. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi umbhangqwana oshadile udinga isikhathi ukuze wenze imisebenzi engokomoya nezinye izinto ndawonye.—Math. 6:33.
10. Ukulungela ukuzivumelanisa nesimo kungabuthuthukisa kanjani ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwabazali nezingane ezishadile?
10 Lapho indoda ishada, ishiya uyise nonina, futhi kungashiwo okufanayo nangowesifazane. (Funda uGenesise 2:24.) Noma kunjalo, isiqondiso sikaNkulunkulu sokuhlonipha abazali siyaqhubeka sisebenza. Ngakho, ngisho nangemva kokuba umbhangqwana usushadile, cishe uyozinika isikhathi sokuba nabazali bawo. Omunye umyeni oseneminyaka engu-25 eshadile uyaphawula: “Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukulinganisela ezintweni ezifiswa nezidingwa umngane wakho womshado, abazali bakho, izingane zakwenu nabasekhweni. Lapho nginquma ukuthi iyiphi indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana naleso simo, ngiye ngathola uGenesise 2:24 ewusizo. Umuntu kumelwe awakhathalele amalungu omkhaya wakubo, kodwa leli vesi langibonisa ukuthi kumelwe ngikhathalele umngane wami womshado kuqala.” Ngakho-ke, abazali abangamaKristu abakulungele ukuzivumelanisa nesimo bayokuhlonipha ukuthi izingane zabo ezishadile manje sezinemikhaya yazo nokuthi yindoda ngokuyinhloko enomthwalo wemfanelo wokuwuqondisa.
11, 12. Kungani isifundo somkhaya nomthandazo kubalulekile emibhangqwaneni eshadile?
11 Ukuba nesifundo somkhaya esiqhutshwa njalo kubalulekile. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwemikhaya eminingi engamaKristu kuyakufakazela lokhu. Kungase kungabi lula ukuqala leso sifundo nokusigcina siqhubeka. Enye inhloko yomkhaya iyavuma: “Ukube besikwazi ukubuyela emuva sishintshe okuthile, bekuyoba ukuqinisekisa ukuthi sinamathela esimisweni esihle sesifundo somkhaya zisuka nje emshadweni wethu.” Iyanezela: “Akuve kungijabulisa ukubona injabulo yomkami lapho ethintwe iphuzu elithile elingokomoya esilithola ndawonye esifundweni sethu.”
12 Ukuthandaza ndawonye nakho kuyasiza. (Roma 12:12) Lapho indoda nomkayo bemunye ekukhulekeleni uJehova, ubuhlobo babo obuseduze noNkulunkulu bungaqinisa isibopho sabo somshado. (Jak. 4:8) Omunye umyeni ongumKristu uyachaza: “Ukusheshe uxolise lapho wenze amaphutha bese uwathinta lapho nithandaza ndawonye kuyindlela yokubonisa ukudabuka okuqotho ngisho noma kuyinto encane eniphathe kabi.”—Efe. 6:18.
Yiba Ocabangelayo Emshadweni
13. Isiphi iseluleko uPawulu asinikeza ngokuqondene nobuhlobo bobulili emshadweni?
13 AmaKristu ashadile kudingeka agweme imikhuba elulaza ubuhlobo bomshado, njengaleyo evame kakhulu ezweni lanamuhla elihlanyiswa ubulili. Kule ndaba, uPawulu weluleka: “Indoda mayinikeze umkayo okumfanele; kodwa nomfazi makenze ngokufanayo kumyeni wakhe. Umfazi akalisebenzisi igunya phezu komzimba wakhe, kodwa ngumyeni wakhe olisebenzisayo; ngokufanayo, futhi, indoda ayilisebenzisi igunya phezu komzimba wayo, kodwa ngumkayo olisebenzisayo.” UPawulu wabe esenikeza lesi siqondiso esicacile: “Ningagodlelani kona, ngaphandle kokuba kungokuvumelana isikhathi esithile esimisiwe.” Ngani? “Ukuze ninikele isikhathi emthandazweni futhi niphinde nibe ndawonye, ukuze uSathane angahlali enilinga ngenxa yokuntula kwenu ukuzithiba.” (1 Kor. 7:3-5) Ngokukhuluma ngomthandazo, uPawulu ubonisa izinto okumelwe zize kuqala kumKristu. Kodwa wakwenza kwacaca nokuthi umKristu ngamunye oshadile kufanele azikhathalele izidingo ezingokwenyama nezingokomzwelo zomuntu ashade naye.
14. Izimiso ezingokomBhalo zisebenza kanjani endabeni yobuhlobo bobulili emshadweni?
14 Indoda nomfazi kudingeka bathululelane izifuba futhi baqaphele ukuthi ukungakhathalelani endabeni yobuhlobo bobulili kungabangela izinkinga. (Funda eyabaseFilipi 2:3, 4; qhathanisa noMathewu 7:12.) Lokhu kuye kwenzeka kweminye imikhaya ehlukene ngokwenkolo. Ngisho noma kukhona ukungezwani, ngokuvamile umKristu angenza isimo sibe ngcono ngokuziphatha kahle, ngokuba nomusa nokubambisana. (Funda eyoku-1 Petru 3:1, 2.) Ukuthanda uJehova nomngane wakho womshado kanye nomoya wokucabangela, kuyosiza kule sici somshado.
15. Inhlonipho inayiphi indima emshadweni ojabulisayo?
15 Indoda enomusa iyophatha umkayo ngenhlonipho nakwezinye izici. Ngokwesibonelo, iyoyicabangela imizwa yakhe ngisho nasezintweni ezincane. Omunye umyeni oseneminyaka engu-47 eshadile uyavuma: “Ngisafunda kule ndaba.” Abafazi abangamaKristu bayalwa ukuba babahloniphe ngokujulile abayeni babo. (Efe. 5:33) Ukukhuluma kabi ngabayeni babo nangamaphutha abo, akuyibonisi neze inhlonipho. IzAga 14:1 ziyasikhumbuza: “Owesifazane ohlakaniphe ngempela uyakhile indlu yakhe, kodwa oyisiwula uyayidiliza ngezandla zakhe.”
Ungamvumeli UDeveli
16. Imibhangqwana ingayisebenzisa kanjani eyabase-Efesu 4:26, 27 emishadweni yayo?
16 “Thukuthelani, kodwa ningoni; ilanga malingashoni nisesimweni sokucasuka, futhi ningamniki uDeveli indawo.” (Efe. 4:26, 27) Lapho siwasebenzisa, la mazwi angasisiza ukuba sixazulule noma sigweme izingxabano emshadweni. Omunye udade uyakhumbula: “Angikhumbuli siba nengxabano nomyeni wami bese singayixazululi ngisho noma lokho kwakusho ukuchitha amahora amaningi sidingida leyo ndaba.” Lapho besanda kushada, yena nomyeni wakhe banquma ukuthi izinkinga zabo bayozixazulula lungakapheli usuku. “Sanquma ukuthi noma singabhekana nayiphi inkinga, siyothethelelana futhi siyidlulise ukuze siluqale kahle usuku ngalunye.” Ngaleyo ndlela benqaba ‘ukunika uDeveli indawo.’
17. Ngisho nalapho abangane bomshado bebonakala bengafanelani kahle, yini engase isize?
17 Kodwa kuthiwani uma ungene emshadweni ngobuwula? Manje ungase uzithole usemshadweni ongase ungabonakali unothando njengeyabanye. Noma kunjalo, kuyokusiza ukukhumbula umbono woMdali ngesibopho somshado. Ephefumulelwe, uPawulu weluleka amaKristu: “Umshado mawuhlonishwe yibo bonke, nombhede womshado ungangcoliswa, ngoba uNkulunkulu uyozahlulela izifebe neziphingi.” (Heb. 13:4) Akumelwe siwakhohlwe nala mazwi: ‘Intambo emicu mithathu ayinakugqashulwa ngokushesha.’ (UmSh. 4:12) Lapho bobabili indoda nenkosikazi bekukhathalela ngokujulile ukungcweliswa kwegama likaJehova, bayanamathelana, banamathele nakuNkulunkulu. Kumelwe basebenzele ukwenza umshado wabo uphumelele, bazi ukuthi lokhu kuyokhazimulisa uJehova, uMsunguli womshado.—1 Pet. 3:11.
18. Yini ongaqiniseka ngayo mayelana nomshado?
18 Ngokuqinisekile, amaKristu angayithola injabulo emshadweni. Ukuze ayithole kudingeka ukuzikhandla nokubonisa izimfanelo zobuKristu njengokucabangela nokuzivumelanisa nezimo. Namuhla, kunemibhangqwana eminingi emabandleni oFakazi BakaJehova emhlabeni wonke efakazela ukuthi lokhu kungenzeka.
Ungaphendula Kanjani?
• Kungani kuyinto engenzeka ukuthola injabulo emshadweni?
• Yini engasiza umshado ukuba uphumelele?
• Iziphi izimfanelo okudingeka abangane bomshado bazihlakulele?
[Isithombe ekhasini 9]
Ngokuhlakanipha, imibhangqwana eshadile iyaxoxa ngaphambi kokwamukela isimemo noma kokuzibopha ukwenza into ethile
[Isithombe ekhasini 10]
Lwelani ukulungisa ukungezwani ngalo lolo suku, “ningamniki uDeveli indawo”