Ingabe Sikhona Isizathu Sethemba?

“Enye inkinga yabantu abasemishadweni edonsa kanzima ukuthi banenkolelo ejulile yokuthi izinto ngeke zize zibe ngcono. Inkolelo enjalo ivimbela ushintsho ngoba ikwenza ungabi namdlandla wokuzama noma yini eyakhayo.”—NGUDKT. AARON T. BECK.

AKE uzicabange usezinhlungwini bese uya kudokotela. Ukhathazekile—kube kufanele. Phela, impilo yakho—ngisho nakho kanye ukuphila kwakho—kungenzeka kusengozini. Kodwa ake sithi ngemva kokukuxilonga, udokotela ukutshela izindaba ezinhle zokuthi nakuba inkinga yakho ingencane, ingelapheka. Empeleni, udokotela ukutshela ukuthi uma unamathela ohlelweni lokudla ukudla okufanele nokuvivinya umzimba okufanele, ungalulama ngokuphelele. Ngokungangabazeki ubungakhululeka futhi ulandele isiyalo sakhe ngenjabulo!

Qhathanisa lesi simo nale ndaba esixoxa ngayo. Ingabe umshado wakho ukuzwisa ubuhlungu? Yiqiniso, yonke imishado iyoba nezinkinga nokungavumelani okuthile. Ngakho ukuba nezikhathi ezithile ezinzima ebuhlotsheni benu akusho ukuthi umshado wenu awunalo uthando. Kodwa kuthiwani uma isimo esibuhlungu siqhubeka amasonto, izinyanga ngisho neminyaka? Uma kunjalo, ukhathazeke kufanele, ngoba ayincane le ndaba. Ngempela, isimo somshado wakho singathinta cishe zonke izici zokuphila kwakho—nokwezingane zakho. Ngokwesibonelo, kukholelwa ukuthi ukukhathazeka emshadweni kungaba yisici esiyinhloko esibangela izinkinga ezinjengokucindezeleka, izinga eliphansi lomsebenzi nokungaphumeleli kwezingane esikoleni. Kodwa akugcini lapho. AmaKristu ayaqaphela ukuthi ubuhlobo bawo nabangane bawo bomshado bungathinta ubuhlobo bawo noJehova.—1 Petru 3:7.

Iqiniso lokuthi wena nomngane wakho womshado ninezinkinga alisho ukuthi isimo asinakulungiseka. Ukubhekana namaqiniso omshado—ukuthi ziyoba khona izinselele—kungasiza umbhangqwana ukuba uzibheke ngelinye iso izinkinga zawo futhi usebenzele ukuthola amakhambi. Umyeni ogama lakhe lingu-Isaac uthi: “Ngangingazi ukuthi kuyinto engokwemvelo ukuba isimo senjabulo semibhangqwana sishintshashintshe emshadweni. Ngangicabanga ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngathi!”

Ngisho noma umshado wenu usufinyelele esimweni sokuphola kothando, ungasindiswa. Kuyavunywa ukuthi izibazi ezibangelwa ubuhlobo obunezinkinga zingase zijule, ikakhulukazi uma sekuyiminyaka izinkinga ziqhubeka. Nokho, kunesizathu esinamandla sethemba. Ukuba nesisusa esifanele kuyisici esibalulekile. Ngisho nabantu ababili abanezinkinga zomshado ezinkulu bangasithuthukisa isimo uma bobabili bekubheka njengokubalulekile.a

Ngakho zibuze, ‘Sinamandla kangakanani isifiso sami sokufinyelela ubuhlobo obanelisayo?’ Ingabe wena nomngane wakho womshado nizimisele ukwenza umzamo wokuthuthukisa umshado wenu? UDkt. Beck, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Ngihlale ngimangala ukubona ukuthi umshado onezinkinga ezisobala ungasizakala kanjani uma abangane bomshado bebambisana ekulungiseni izici ezimbi futhi baqinise ezinhle emshadweni wabo.” Kodwa kuthiwani uma umngane wakho engabaza ukubambisana nawe? Noma kuthiwani uma yena ebonakala enganakile ukuthi kunenkinga? Ingabe kuyize ukuba usebenzele ukulungisa umshado uwedwa? Lutho neze! UDkt. Beck uthi: “Uma wena wenza izinguquko ezithile, kona lokho kungase kubangele ukuba nomngane wakho ashintshe—ngokuvamile kuba njalo.”

Ungasheshi uphethe ngokuthi lokhu ngeke kwenzeke esimweni sakho. Ukucabanga okunjalo kokulahla ithemba kungaba usongo olukhulu emshadweni wakho! Omunye wenu kudingeka athathe isinyathelo kuqala. Kungaba nguwe? Uma sewuqalile, umngane wakho angase abone inzuzo yokubambisana nawe ekwakheni umshado ojabulisayo.

Ngakho-ke, yini ongayenza—uwedwa noma nobabili—ukuze usindise umshado wakho? IBhayibheli liwusizo olunamandla ekuphenduleni lo mbuzo. Ake sibone ukuthi kanjani.

[Umbhalo waphansi]