Isahluko 8

Ngingabenza Kanjani Abangane Abakahle?

“Lapho ngithukuthele, ngidinga umuntu engizothululela kuye isifuba sami. Uma ngidabukile, ngifuna umuntu ozongitshela ukuthi kuzolunga. Uma ngijabule, ngifuna ukujabula nothile. Ngokubona kwami, umuntu uyabadinga abangane.”—UBrittany.

KUYE kuthiwe izingane zidinga ezinye ezizodlala nazo, kanti intsha idinga abangane. Uyini umehluko?

Umuntu odlala naye umuntu okuchithisa isizungu.

Umngane umuntu othanda izinto ozithandayo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, iBhayibheli lithi “umngane weqiniso ubonisa uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi ungumfowabo womuntu ozalelwe isikhathi sosizi.” (IzAga 17:17) Cishe lokhu kuchaza ubungane obuthe ukujula kunalobo owawunabo nezingane owawudlala nazo ngesikhathi useyingane!

Iqiniso: Njengoba ukhula, udinga abangane

1. Abanezimfanelo ezinhle

2. Abaphila ngezindinganiso ezincomekayo

3. Abanethonya elihle kuwe

Umbuzo: Ungabathola kanjani abangane abanjalo? Ake sihlaziye isici ngasinye.

Isici Sokuqala Sobungane Izimfanelo Ezinhle

Okufanele ukwazi. Akuwona wonke umuntu othi ungumngane wakho ongumngane wangempela. IBhayibheli lize lithi “kukhona abangane abathambekele ekuphihlizaneni babe yizicucu.” (IzAga 18:24) Lokhu kungazwakala kuwukweqisa. Kodwa zibuze: Wake waba yini “nomngane” owayesizakala ngawe? Noma wake waba yini nomngane owayehleba ngawe noma asakaze amanga ngawe? Abangane abanjalo bangakwenza ungabe usabethemba.a Khumbula njalo ukuthi endabeni yabangane, kungcono ukuba nabangane abambalwa abahle kunokuba nenqwaba yababi!

Ongakwenza. Khetha abangane abanezimfanelo ezikufanelekelayo ukulingiswa.

“Bonke abantu bakhuluma kahle ngomngane wami uFiona. Nami ngifuna kukhulunywe kahle ngami. Ngifuna ukuba nedumela elihle njengaye. Ngiyamthanda umuntu onjengaye.”—UYvette, oneminyaka engu-17.

Zama lokhu.

1. Funda eyabaseGalathiya 5:22, 23.

2. Zibuze, “Ingabe abangane bami banazo izimfanelo ‘zezithelo zomoya’?”

3. Ngezansi bhala amagama abangane bakho abakhulu. Eceleni kwegama ngalinye, bhala imfanelo emchaza kahle lowo muntu.

Igama Imfanelo

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Ukusikisela: Uma ukhumbula izimfanelo ezimbi zodwa, kungenzeka sekuyisikhathi sokuba ufune abangane abangcono!

Isici Sesibili Sobungane—Izindinganiso Ezincomekayo

Okufanele ukwazi. Uma ufuna abangane ngokuxhamazela, kuyoba lula ukuba umane wamukele abangane abangalungile. IBhayibheli lithi: “Osebenzelana neziphukuphuku kuyomhambela kabi.” (IzAga 13:20) Igama elithi ‘iziphukuphuku’ alibhekiseli kubantu abangaphumeleli ezifundweni zabo zesikole noma abangakhaliphile. Kunalokho, lisho abantu abangafuni ukwamukela izinto ezinengqondo, abalandela inkambo yokuziphatha engenangqondo. Yilolo hlobo lwabangane ongaludingi!

Ongakwenza. Kunokuba umane ube umngane wanoma ubani, khetha kahle. (IHubo 26:4) Lokhu akusho ukuthi ube nobandlululo. Kule ndaba, ukukhetha kahle kusho ukukwazi kahle ‘ukubona umehluko phakathi kolungileyo nomubi, phakathi kokhonza uNkulunkulu nongazange amkhonze.’—Malaki 3:18.

“Ngiyabonga ngokuthi abazali bami bangisiza ukuba ngithole abangane—abantu abangontanga yami abaqhuba kahle ngokomoya.”—UChristopher, oneminyaka engu-13.

Phendula le mibuzo elandelayo:

Lapho nginabangane bami, ingabe ngiye ngikha-thazeke ngokuthi bangase bazame ukungiphoqa ukuba ngenze into engaziyo ukuthi ayilungile?

□ Yebo

□ Cha

Ingabe ngiyanqikaza ukwethula abangane bami kubazali bami, ngesaba ukuthi abazali bangase bangabamukeli?

□ Yebo

□ Cha

Ukusikisela: Uma uphendule ngoyebo kule mibuzo, funa abangane abanezindinganiso eziphakeme—labo ababeka isibonelo esihle ebandleni lobuKristu.

Isici Sesithathu Sobungane—Ithonya Elihle

Okufanele ukwazi. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukuzihlanganisa nababi konakalisa imikhuba emihle.” (1 Korinte 15:33) ULauren osemusha uthi: “Izingane engifunda nazo zazingithandela ukuthi ngiyakwenza lokho ezithi angikwenze. Nganginesizungu, ngakho ngakhetha ukuzimatanisa nazo ukuze zingithande.” ULauren wathola ukuthi lapho wenza okufunwa abanye, ufana nenkomo ye-chess noma yomlabalaba, bakuyisa nomaphi lapho bethanda khona. Ufanelwe okungcono kakhulu kunalokho!

Ongakwenza. Hlukana nabangane abakuphoqa ukuba uphile njengabo. Uma ubayeka, ungase uncishelwe abangane; kodwa uyojabula futhi ube nethuba lokuthola abangane abangcono—abangane abayoba ithonya elihle kuwe.—Roma 12:2.

“Umngane wami omkhulu uClint unengqondo ehluzekile futhi unozwela, ngakho uye waba isikhuthazo esikhulu kimi.”—UJason, oneminyaka engu-21.

Zibuze le mibuzo elandelayo:

Ingabe indlela yami yokugqoka, yokukhuluma noma yokwenza ngiyayishintsha ukuze nje ngijabulise abangane bami?

□ Yebo

□ Cha

Ingabe ngiya ezindaweni ezinokuziphatha okungabazisayo ebengingeke ngiye kuzo ukube bekungengenxa yabangane bami?

□ Yebo

□ Cha

Ukusikisela: Uma uphendule ngoyebo kule mibuzo, iya kubazali bakho noma komunye umuntu omdala ovuthiwe ucele usizo. Uma ungomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, ungaya kumdala ongumKristu umazise ukuthi udinga usizo ekukhetheni abangane abayoba ithonya elihle kuwe.

FUNDA OKWENGEZIWE NGALE NDABA EMQULWINI 2, ISAHLUKO 9

[Umbhalo waphansi]

UMBHALO OYINHLOKO

“Kukhona umngane onamathela ngaphezu komfowenu.”—IzAga 18:24.

ICEBISO

Uma uphila ngezindinganiso ezilungile, cishe abanye abazama ukwenza okufanayo bazosondela kuwe. Bayoba abangane abakahle kunabo bonke!

UBUWAZI . . . ?

UNkulunkulu akabandlululi, kodwa uyacophelela lapho ekhetha ukuthi ubani ‘azommema etendeni lakhe.’—IHubo 15:1-5.

ENGIZOKWENZA!

Ukuze ngithole abangane abakahle, ngizo- ․․․․․

Abantu abadala kunami engingathanda ukubazi kangcono bahlanganisa u- ․․․․․

Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali wami (abazali) ngale ndaba ․․․․․

UCABANGANI?

● Iziphi izimfanelo ongazithanda kakhulu kumngane wakho, futhi ngani?

● Iziphi izimfanelo okudingeka usebenzele kuzo ukuze ube umngane okahle?

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 60]

“Lapho abazali bami bethi angihlukane nabangane abathile, ngazitshela ukuthi yibo kanye engifuna ukuzihlanganisa nabo. Nokho, abazali bami babeqinisile, futhi lapho ngicabangisisa ngalokho ababekusho, ngabona ukuthi baningi abangane abangcono.’’—UCole

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 61]

Zama Lokhu Kusikisela

Khuluma nabazali bakho ngabangane. Babuze ukuthi babenabangane abanjani ngesikhathi belingana nawe. Ingabe bayazisola ngohlobo lwabangane abalukhetha? Uma kunjalo, kungani? Babuze ukuthi ungazigwema kanjani ezinye zezinkinga ababhekana nazo.

Yethula abangane bakho kubazali bakho. Uma unqikaza ukwenza kanjalo, zibuze, ‘Kungani nginqikaza?’ Ingabe kukhona okuthile ngabangane bakho owaziyo ukuthi abazali bakho ngeke bakuthande? Uma kunjalo, kungase kudingeke ucophelele lapho ukhetha abangane.

Yiba isilaleli esihle. Yikhathalele indlela abangane bakho abazizwa ngayo nezinto ezibakhathazayo.—Filipi 2:4.

Thethelela. Ungalindeli ukuphelela kubo. “Sonke siyakhubeka izikhathi eziningi.”—Jakobe 3:2.

Nikeza umngane wakho isikhathi sokuba yedwa. Asikho isidingo sokuba unamathele kuye ngokweqile. Abangane beqiniso bazokusiza lapho ubadinga.—UmShumayeli 4:9, 10.

[Isithombe ekhasini 63]

Lapho wenza okufunwa abanye ukuze nje bakuthande, ufana nenkomo ye-chess noma yomlabalaba, bakuyisa nomaphi lapho bethanda khona

Isahluko 9

Ngingamelana Kanjani Nesilingo?

Ayikapheli imizuzu eyishumi uZandile esephathini lapho ebona abafana ababili befika bephethe opulasitiki abaningana. Uyazi ukuthi kukhonani kulab’ opulasitiki. Ubebazwile bona laba bafana bethi bazobe “bebuhlaba” kule phathi.

Khona manjalo, uZandile uzwa izwi alijwayele ngemva kwakhe. “Umeleni lapho S’thingithingi?” Uyaphenduka abone umngane wakhe uSindi ephethe amabhodlela amabili otshwala asanda kuvulwa. USindi utshengisa uZandile elilodwa, athi, “Ungangitsheli ukuthi usemncane ukuba uphuze!”

UZandile ufuna ukwenqaba. Kodwa sinamandla kakhulu isifiso sokuba avume. USindi ungumngane wakhe, futhi uZandile akafuni umngane wakhe acabange ukuthi . . . “uyisithingithingi” njengoba embize kanjalo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uSindi ungenye yamantombazane akahle. Futhi uma naye ephuza, hhawu, ikuphi inkinga? UZandile uyacabanga, ‘Ubhiya nje. Ungcono kunokudla izidakamizwa noma ukulala nomfana.’

LAPHO usemncane, izilingo zifika ziyizinhlobo eziningi. Ngokuvamile, zisuke zihilela abobulili obuhlukile. “Amantombazane asesikoleni awuhlupho,” kusho uRamon oneminyaka engu-17. “Ayathanda ukukuthinta efuna ukubona ukuthi uzokwenzenjani. Ayabelesela!” UDeanna, naye oneminyaka engu-17, uyakufakazela lokhu. Uthi, “Omunye umfana weza kimi wafike wangigaxa. Ngamshaya engalweni ngathi: ‘Wenzani wena! Angikwazi nakukwazi!’”

Nawe ungase ulingwe futhi kungase kubonakale sengathi izilingo azipheli. Isilingo esilokhu sifike njalo singafana nomuntu ongqongqoza angayeki nakuba esicabheni kunophawu oluthi “Ungaphazamisi.” Ingabe ulingwa kaningi? Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe kukhona kulokhu okulandelayo okuyisilingo kuwe?

□ Ukubhema

□ Ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile

□ Ukuphuza utshwala

□ Ukulala nomfana noma nentombazane

□ Ukudla izidakamizwa

□ Okunye ․․․․․

Uma ufake u-✔ kunoma yikuphi okungenhla, ungaphethi ngokuthi ngeke nje ube umKristu wena. Ungafunda ukulawula izifiso ezingafanele futhi ulwe nezilingo. Kanjani? Kuyasiza ukwazi ukuthi yini ebangela isilingo. Cabanga ngalezi zici ezintathu.

1. Ukungapheleli. Bonke abantu abangaphelele bathambekele ekwenzeni izinto ezingalungile. Ngisho nomphostoli uPawulu—umKristu ovuthiwe—wavuma: “Lapho ngifisa ukwenza okuhle, kukhona okubi kimi.” (Roma 7:21) Ngokusobala, ngisho noqotho kangakanani umuntu, ngezinye izikhathi uyosiqaphela “isifiso senyama nesifiso samehlo.” (1 Johane 2:16) Kepha ukuhlala ucabangana nokwenza okubi kwenza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu ngoba iBhayibheli lithi: “Isifiso, lapho sesakhekile, sizala isono.”—Jakobe 1:15.

2. Amathonya angaphandle. Izilingo zikhona yonk’ indawo. “Esikoleni nasemsebenzini abantu bahlale bekhuluma ngobulili,” kusho uTrudy. “Kuyi-TV nakumabhayisikobho buvezwa buyinto enhle nemnandi kakhulu. Ayivezwa imiphumela yabo emibi!” UTrudy wazibonela indlela elinamandla ngayo ithonya lontanga nelezinto ezinjenge-TV. Uyakhumbula, “Ngangicabanga ukuthi siyathandana ngempela nesoka lami lapho ngineminyaka engu-16. Umama wahlala nami phansi wangitshela ukuthi uma izinto ziqhubeka ngendlela ezaziqhubeka ngayo, ngizogcina ngikhulelwe. Ngashaqeka ukuthi umama wayecabanga lokho! Ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbili, ngakhulelwa.”

3. “Izifiso zobusha.” (2 Thimothewu 2:22) Le nkulumo ingahlanganisa noma yisiphi isifiso esivamile kubantu abasha, njengokufuna ukwamukelwa noma ukuzakhela igama. Azizimbi lezi zifiso, kodwa uma ziyekwa zingalawulwa, zingenza kube nzima ukulwa nezilingo. Ngokwesibonelo, isifiso sokuzakhela elakho igama singakwenza ulahle izimfanelo ezinhle ozifundiswe ekhaya. Yilokho okwenzeka kuSteve lapho eneminyaka engu-17. Uthi, “Ngaxabana nabazali bami futhi ngenza konke ababengifundise ukuba ngingakwenzi—konke lokhu ngikwenza lapho nje ngisanda kubhapathizwa.”

Indlela Yokulwa Nezilingo

Kuyavunywa, la mathonya achazwe ngenhla anamandla. Yize kunjalo, ungalwa nezilingo. Kanjani?

● Okokuqala, thola ukuthi yisiphi isilingo esinamandla kakhulu kuwe. (Kungenzeka usukwenzile lokhu ekhasini 65.)

● Okwesibili, zibuze, ‘Sifika nini lesi silingo?’ Faka u-✔ eceleni kwempendulo yakho:

□ Lapho ngisesikoleni

□ Lapho ngingedwa

□ Lapho ngisemsebenzini

□ Okunye ․․․․․

Ukwazi ukuthi singafika nini isilingo kungase kukusize usigweme nokusigwema. Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngaleya ndaba esekuqaleni kwesahluko. Yisiphi isixwayiso uZandile asithola sokuthi kuzokwenzeka into engafanele ephathini ayekuyo?

․․․․․

Wayengasigwema kanjani isilingo kwasekuqaleni?

․․․․․

● Njengoba ususitholile isilingo futhi wabona ukuthi singafika nini, usukulungele ukulwa naso. Umgomo wakho wokuqala ukuthola ukuthi ungawanciphisa noma uwavale kanjani amathuba okuba uhlangane naleso silingo. Ngezansi bhala lokho ongase ukwenze.

․․․․․

(Izibonelo: Uma njalo ngemva kwesikole uhlangana nezingane ofunda nazo ezikufundekela ngokuba ubheme nazo, mhlawumbe ungahamba ngenye indlela ukuze ungahlangani nazo. Uma uvame ukuthola izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-Internet ungazicelanga, ungase ucabangele ukufaka izinhlelo ze-computer ezivala imiyalezo evela kulowo muntu kanye nezinye izingosi ezinjalo. Kungadingeka ucophelele futhi nasemagameni owafaka lapho usebenzisa i-Internet.)

Yiqiniso, awunakuzigwema zonke izilingo. Cishe uzobhekana nesilingo esinamandla kakhulu—mhlawumbe ungasilindele. Yini ongayenza?

Kulungele

Lapho uJesu “elingwa uSathane,” washesha ukwenqaba. (Marku 1:13) Kungani? Kungoba wayazi ukuthi umiphi ezindabeni ezibalulekile ezaphakama. UJesu wayesenqumile kakade ukulalela uYise zikhathi zonke. (Johane 8:28, 29) Wayeqinisile ngempela lapho ethi: “Angehlanga ezulwini ukuba ngizokwenza intando yami kodwa intando yalowo ongithumileyo.”—Johane 6:38.

Ekhasini elilandelayo, bhala izizathu ezimbili zokuthi kungani kufanele ulwe nesilingo esikufikela njalo kanye nezindlela ezimbili ezingakusiza ukuba ulwe naso.

Izizathu zokuba ulwe nesilingo:

1 ․․․․․

2 ․․․․․

Izindlela ezingakusiza ukuba ulwe nesilingo:

1 ․․․․․

2 ․․․․․

Khumbula, uma usivumela isilingo sikwehlule, uba isigqila sezifiso zakho. (Thithu 3:3) Kungani kumelwe uvumele izifiso zakho zikulawule? Bonisa ukuvuthwa, ulawule izifiso zakho kunokuba uzivumele zikulawule. (Kolose 3:5) Futhi thandazela ukuba uqhubeke wenza kanjalo.—Mathewu 6:13.a

FUNDA OKWENGEZIWE NGALESI SIHLOKO EMQULWINI 2, ISAHLUKO 15

[Umbhalo waphansi]

UMBHALO OYINHLOKO

“UNkulunkulu uthembekile, futhi ngeke akuvumele ukuba nilingwe ngokungaphezu kwalokho eningakuthwala, kodwa kanye naleso silingo uyokwenza nendlela yokuphuma ukuze nikwazi ukusikhuthazelela.”—1 Korinte 10:13.

ICEBISO

Sebenzisa “uHlelo Lokumelana Nokucindezela Kontanga” olusemakhasini 132 no-133 encwadini ethi Intsha Iyabuza—Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo, uMqulu 2, ukuze ubhale izimpendulo ongazisebenzisa lapho umuntu ezama ukukulingela ekwenzeni okubi.

UBUWAZI . . . ?

UNkulunkulu wabikezela ukuthi uJesu wayeyokwethembeka, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi uJesu wayenjengerobhothi. Kunalokho, wayenenkululeko yokuzikhethela. Wazikhethela ukwethembeka—akuzange kuzenzakalele. Lesi esinye sezizathu ezamenza wathandaza ngokusuka enhliziyweni lapho elingwa.—Hebheru 5:7.

ENGIZOKWENZA!

Ukuze ngikwazi ukuba namandla okulwa nesilingo, ngizo- ․․․․․

Abantu, izindawo nezimo okudingeka ngizigweme․․․․․

Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali wami (abazali) ngale ndaba ․․․․․

UCABANGANI?

● Ingabe izidalwa eziphelele zingalingeka?—Genesise 6:1-3; Johane 8:44.

● Lapho ulwa nesilingo, ukwethembeka kwakho kuba naliphi ithonya kwabanye?—IzAga 27:11; 1 Thimothewu 4:12.

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 68]

“Ngisizwa ukwazi ukuthi ngisekelwa uMuntu onamandla kunabo bonke ezulwini nasemhlabeni futhi ngingalucela noma nini usizo lwakhe!’’—UChristopher

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 67]

Zama Lokhu!

Thatha ikhampasi, uyimise ngendlela yokuba uthi lwayo lukhombe enyakatho. Yibe usubeka uzibuthe eceleni kwayo. Kwenzekani? Uthi alube lusakhomba endaweni efanele. Kunalokho, lutshekela ngakuzibuthe.

Unembeza wakho ufana naleyo khampasi. Uma uqeqeshwe kahle, uyokhomba “enyakatho,” noma endaweni efanele, futhi ukusize wenze izinqumo ezihlakaniphile. Kodwa njengozibuthe, abangane ababi banamandla angaphazamisa ukwahlulela kwakho okuhle ezindabeni zokuziphatha. Yini esiyifundayo? Zama ukugwema abantu nezimo ezingakwenza ungahluleli kahle endabeni yokuziphatha!—IzAga 13:20.

[Isithombe ekhasini 69]

Lapho uvumela izilingo zikwehlule, uba isigqila sezifiso zakho