Nyɔnuwo Bubu le Gbesiagbegbenɔnɔ Me

NE WOAVA de bubu nyɔnuwo ŋu wu alesi wobua woe fifia la, ekema ɣekaɣie eye afikae tɔtrɔ ma adze egɔme tsoe? Enyo, ɣekaɣie eye afikae susu vɔ̃ bubu ɖe ame ŋu kple nazãbubu tsona zi geɖe? Aƒeme kple sukue le ƒe siwo me ɖeviwo le tsitsim. Míetua míaƒe nɔnɔmewo ƒe akpa gãtɔ ɖo le mía dzilawo ƒe ŋusẽ te. Eyata amekawoe ate ŋu akpɔ ŋusẽ gã ɖe nɔnɔme siwo ɖekakpuiwo ava ɖe afia ɖe nyɔnuwo ŋu dzi? Edze ƒã be vifofo kple vidada ye. Eyata nusiwo ate ŋu akpɔ kuxia gbɔ dometɔ ɖekae nye hehe nyui si woana wòaɖo aƒewo me eye wòakpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe dzilawo dzi.

Alesi Wobua Nyɔnuwoe

Nusi fia be woƒãa nazãbubu ɖe ame me tso aƒeme la dze le Jenny, srɔ̃tɔ si nye agbalẽŋlɔla si nye vinyɔnu ene ƒe tsitsitɔ gome, amesi gblɔ be: “Esi míenye ɖetugbiwo la, míetsia dzi ɖe alesi le United States la, nyɔnuwo sɔ gbɔ wu ŋutsuwo la ŋu vevie. Eyata ne èdi be woaɖe ye la, ele be nàwɔ nu ɖe mɔ si ana ŋutsuwo nadi be yewoaɖe wò la nu.

“Hekpe ɖe eŋu la, wona nyɔnuwo susuna be ame tsɛe yewonye. Ɣeaɖewoɣi la, dzilawo kura gɔ̃ hã ana nàsusu be yele tsɛ wu ŋutsuviwo. Ne ŋutsu aɖe le diwòm be yeaɖe la, eya hã wɔa nu nenema ke be èle tsɛ wu ŋutsuwo.

“Eye nukatae wòle be woanɔ te ɖe míaƒe ŋutilã ƒe dzedzeme kple tugbedzedze alo woƒe amesimanɔmanɔ koŋ dzi ade bubu mía ŋu? Nusiawo dzie wonɔa te ɖo bua ŋutsuwoa?”

Betty si ɖe srɔ̃ ƒe 32 sɔŋ enye sia eye wònye fiasedzikpɔla tsã la hã gblɔ nya bubu be: “Nukatae wonɔa te ɖe nyɔnuwo ƒe nyɔnunyenye dzi bua asixɔxɔ si le wo ŋu ke menye woƒe nuteƒekpɔkpɔ, ŋutete, kple nunya o? Nusi ko biam mele enye be ŋutsuwo naɖo to ase nye susu. Mègado vlom le nye nyɔnunyenye ta o!

“Zi geɖe la ŋutsuwo bua mí nyɔnuwo abe numanyalawo alo bometsilawoe mí katã míenye ene​—amesiwo tsi bome ale gbegbe be womate ŋu awɔ nyametsotso nyuitɔ o. Ènya nusi megblɔnaa? Mina woawɔ nu ɖe mía ŋu abe alesi woadi be woawɔ nu ɖe yewo ŋu ene. Esia atrɔ alesi wobua nu ŋui!” Nusi ko biam wòle enye be ŋutsuwo nawɔ Sikasedede si nye ‘Nusi ke nèdi be ame bubuwo nawɔ na ye la, wò hã wɔ nenema ke na wo’ la ŋudɔ.​—Mateo 7:⁠12.

Nyɔnu siawo ɖe susu ɖɔʋu aɖewo gblɔ. Mele be woanɔ te ɖe gotagomedzedzeme kple tugbedzedze alo ameƒomevi ƒe nazãbubu dzi abu asixɔxɔ vavãtɔ si le ame ŋu o. Spaniatɔwo ƒe lododo aɖe gblɔ be: “Nyɔnu dzetugbee dzroa ŋku; nyɔnu nyui dzroa dzi. Ne gbãtɔ nye kpe xɔasi la, ekema evelia nye kesinɔnu.”

Biblia la gblɔ nya ma tɔgbe le mɔ bubu nu be: “Miaƒe tugbedzedze naganɔ te ɖe ɖawɔwɔ vivivo alo kpe xɔasiwo alo awu nyuiwo dodo dzi o, ke boŋ wòanɔ te ɖe amenyenye ememetɔ dzi​—esi nye gbɔgbɔ fatu si nɔa anyi kpoo ƒe nyonyo magblẽmagblẽ si xɔ asi ŋutɔ le Mawu ŋkume.” Eye abe alesi tututu mele be mianɔ te ɖe agbalẽ aɖe ƒe akpa ƒe dzedzeme dzi abu eƒe asixɔxɔe o ene la, nenema ke mele be míanɔ te ɖe amewo ƒe nyɔnu alo ŋutsu nyenye dzi abu asixɔxɔ si le wo ŋui o.​—Petro I, 3:​3, 4, Phillips.

Bubu Ðeɖe Fia le Aƒeme

Nyatoƒoe si dze si nyɔnu geɖe, vevietɔ srɔ̃nyɔnu kple vidada dɔwɔlawo tona enye be yewo srɔ̃wo mebua aƒemedɔwo be wonye dɔ bubu siwo gakpee woawɔ o, eye zi geɖe la, womewɔa wo tɔ gome o. Susan Faludi, amesi ƒe nya míeyɔ do ŋgɔ la gblɔ be: “Ŋutsuwo kple nyɔnuwo mewɔa dɔ ɖeka ŋugbe le woa ŋutɔwo ƒeme, afisi wowɔa aƒemedɔwo ƒe akpa 7 lia le alafa ɖesiaɖe me le o.” Nukae woatsɔ akpɔ nu madzɔmadzɔ wɔwɔ sia gbɔe?

Togbɔ be ɖewohĩ mavivi ŋutsu geɖe nu le dukɔ aɖewo me o ha la, ele be woawɔ aƒemedɔwo wɔwɔ ƒe ɖoɖo si ade akpa evea dzi, vevietɔ ne ehiã be nyɔnua hã nanɔ dɔme yim. Gake ahiã be woabu dɔdasi ƒomevi siwo woamã siwo anye ŋutsu ƒe dɔ koŋ hã ŋu​—esiwo nye ʋu dzadzra ɖo, xɔxɔnu kple xɔ godo kpakple abɔ me dzadzra ɖo, pɔmpi kple elektrikŋusẽ ŋu dɔwo wɔwɔ, kple bubuawo​—gake nye dɔ siwo mexɔa ɣeyiɣi dea ɣeyiɣi si srɔ̃nyɔnu tsɔ wɔa aƒemedɔwoe nu ɣesiaɣi o. Le dukɔ aɖewo me la, srɔ̃ŋutsuwo kpɔa mɔ gɔ̃ hã be yewo srɔ̃wo naklɔ ʋu ahatutu eŋu, abe ɖe wònye eƒe aƒemedɔwo ƒe akpa aɖe ene!

Le mɔ aɖe nu la, aɖaŋuɖoɖo sia be woakpɔ gome le aƒemedɔwo wɔwɔ me la sɔ kple aɖaŋu si apostolo Petro ɖo na srɔ̃ŋutsuwo be woanɔ anyi kple wo srɔ̃wo “le nunya me.” (Petro I, 3:⁠7) Esia wɔwɔ ƒe akpa aɖee nye be, efia be mele be srɔ̃ŋutsu nanye srɔ̃a ƒe kpeɖeŋutɔ si wo kplii woanɔ xɔ ɖeka me ko alo woanɔ aƒe ɖeka me, amesi metsɔa ɖeke le ame me hesea veve ɖe ame nu o. Ele be wòade bubu srɔ̃a ƒe nunya kple nuteƒekpɔkpɔ ŋu. Ele be wòase eƒe nyɔnu, srɔ̃nyɔnu kple vidada nyenye ƒe nuhiahiãwo ha gɔme. Esia lɔ nu geɖe ɖe eme wu alesi wòhiã be wòanye amesi kpɔa aƒe dzi si tsɔa ga vaa aƒemee. Srɔ̃nyɔnu siwo wɔa dɔ hã wɔa ema. Ele be wòase eƒe ŋutilã me, seselelãme, susu me, gbɔdɔdɔ, kple ƒo ye katã ta la, eƒe gbɔgbɔ me nuhiahiãwo gɔme.

Agba gã aɖe le srɔ̃ŋutsu si gblɔna be yewɔa Kristotɔwo ƒe gɔmeɖosewo dzi la dzi​—eyae nye be woasrɔ̃ Kristo ƒe kpɔɖeŋu. Eɖo amekpekpe si nya se la ɖe amesiwo katã ‘le dagbadagbam eye agba le wo wum la’ be: “Mana dzudzɔ mi . . . nye dɔme fa, eye mebɔbɔ ɖokuinye ɖe anyi le dzi me, eye miakpɔ dzudzɔ na miaƒe luʋɔwo.” (Mateo 11:​28, 29) Gbetɔame kae nye esi esia nye na srɔ̃ŋutsu kple vifofo Kristotɔwo! Ele be amesiame nabia eɖokui be: ‘Ðe menaa dzudzɔ srɔ̃nyea alo ɖe metenɛ ɖe to? Ðe mefa tu henye amesi ŋu wòate ŋu ate ɖo bɔbɔea, alo ɖe menye ŋutasẽla, ŋlɔmiwɔla, alo amedzizila? Ðe meɖea ‘nɔvilɔlɔ̃’ fiana le Kristotɔwo ƒe kpekpewo me gake nye amesi ƒe nya me sesẽ le aƒemea?’ MeIe be srɔ̃ŋutsu siwo si nɔnɔme eve siwo tsi tre ɖe wo nɔewo ŋu le nanɔ Kristo-hamea me o.​—Petro I, 3:​8, 9.

Eyata womate ŋu agblɔ be alesi nyɔnu Kristotɔ si ŋu srɔ̃ sẽa ŋuta le ɖɔ ŋutsuae la nyo o, be: “Ƒome ƒe ta Kristotɔ sesẽnuwɔla si ɖea nɔnɔme nyuiwo fiana le Fiaɖuƒe Akpata me heƒlea nunanawo na ame bubuwo gake doa vlo srɔ̃a.” Bubu si dze dede ame srɔ̃ ŋu menana wotenɛ ɖe to heɖia gbɔe o. Gake nya sia dze ɖe akpa eve; ele be srɔ̃nyɔnu hã nade bubu si dze la srɔ̃a ŋu.​—Efesotɔwo 5:​33; Petro I, 3:​1, 2.

Esi Ðk. Susan Forward nɔ kpe ɖom nya siwo míegblɔ ɖe etame dzi la, eŋlɔe bena: “Bubu dede ame nɔewo ŋu dzie ƒomedodo nyui nɔ te ɖo.” Emae nana srɔ̃tɔ eveawo kpɔa dzidzedze. Eyi edzi gblɔ be: “Elɔ ɖe tsɔtsɔ le ame nɔewo ƒe seselelãmewo kple nuhiahiãwo me kple ame nɔewo ŋu bubu, kpakple ŋudzedze kpɔkpɔ ɖe nusiwo nana srɔ̃tɔ ɖeka nyea ame tɔxɛ aɖe ŋu ɖe eme. . . . Srɔ̃tɔ lɔlɔ̃tɔwo dia mɔ nyui siwo dzi woato aɖɔ woƒe masɔmasɔwo ɖo; womebua kuxi ɖesiaɖe be enye aʋa si dzi yewoaɖu alo yewomaɖu o.”​—Men Who Hate Women & the Women Who Love Them.

Biblia la hã ɖo aɖaŋu nyui na srɔ̃ŋutsuwo le Efesotɔwo 5:28 be: “Nenema ke wòle na ŋutsuwo be, woalɔ̃ woa ŋutɔwo wo srɔ̃wo abe woa ŋutɔwo ƒe ŋutilãwo ene. Amesi lɔ̃a ye ŋutɔ srɔ̃ la, elɔ̃a ye ŋutɔ ɖokui.” Nukatae nya sia le eme? Le esi srɔ̃ɖeɖe le abe ame eve ƒe ga si wodzra ɖo ɖe gadzraɖoƒe si me wo katã wodzra ga sɔsɔe ɖo ene la tae. Ne srɔ̃ŋutsua zã ga ma ƒe ɖe yakayakae la, ana wo ame evea ƒe ganyawo nasesẽ. Nenema ke ne srɔ̃ŋutsu aɖe gblẽa nu le srɔ̃a ŋu le mɔ aɖe nu la, ekema eya hã gblẽa nu le ɖokui ŋu ɣeyiɣi kpui alo ɣeyiɣi didi aɖe. Nukatae? Elabena eƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖea nye wo ame evea ƒe dɔwɔwɔ aduadui. Ne ègblẽ nu le dɔ wɔwɔ aduadui ma ŋu la, ekema ègblẽ nu le mi dɔa wɔla eveawo ŋu.

Bubu ŋuti nu vevi aɖe li si dzi míaɖo ŋkui​—eyae nye be mele be wobiae o. Togbɔ be ele be srɔ̃tɔ ɖesiaɖe nabu nɔvia hã la, ele hã be woawɔ nusi dze na bubu ma. Kristo mebia be woabu ye to agbagba dzedze be yeazi yeƒe ŋuse alo nɔƒe deŋgɔ si yele ɖe amewo dzi me o.a Nenema ke le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me la, srɔ̃ŋutsu kple srɔ̃a wɔa nu be woabu ye to woƒe nuwɔwɔ ɖe wo nɔewo ŋu si wobuna la me, gake menye to Biblia me mawunyakpukpuiwo zazã le nuƒoƒo me atsɔ abiae o.

Bubu Ðeɖe Fia le Dɔwɔƒe

Ðe wòle be ŋutsuwo nabu nyɔnuwo be wonye amesiwo agblẽ nu le bubu si le yewo ŋu la ŋua? Elizabeth Fox-Genovese ŋlɔ ɖe eƒe agbalẽ si nye Feminism Without lllusions me be: “Le nyateƒe me la, egbea nyɔnu geɖe dia nusi ŋutsu geɖe dina la; be agbemenu veviwo nasu yewo si, be yewoakpɔ dzidzeme le agbe me, eye yewoayi ŋgɔ le xexeame gake yewomahe kuxi geɖe akpa vɛ o.” Ðe wòle be woase didi alo nudzroame ma gɔme bubui be enye nusi agblẽ nu le ŋutsu ŋua? Egagblɔ be: Nukatae mele be míakpɔe adze sii be, le tɔtrɔ siwo katã me míaƒe xexeame to alo siwo me wòato megbe hã la, vovototowo gali kokoko eye woate ŋu anɔ anyi kpli wo o?”

Vevietɔ ele be ŋutsu Kristotɔ siwo nye dɔmemegãwo alo dzikpɔlawo nade bubu ɖoƒe si woƒe dɔwɔhati nyɔnuwo le la ŋu eye woaɖo ŋku edzi be ŋutsu ɖeka si nye eƒe “ta” le Biblia ƒe gɔmesese nu, si nye srɔ̃aŋutsu koe le nyɔnu srɔ̃tɔ si. Ame bubuwo anye dzikpɔlawo eye woabu wo ɖe ema ta; gake kokoko le Biblia ƒe gɔmesese nu la, ŋutsu aɖeke menye nyɔnu ma ƒe “ta” o negbe srɔ̃a ko.​—Efesotɔwo 5:​22-24.

Ele be dze siwo woaɖo le dɔwɔƒe la nanye esiwo tua ame ɖo ɣesiaɣi. Ne ŋutsuwo ɖoa dze si me nyamenyawo alo gbegblẽnyawo le la, ke womele bubu dem nyɔnuwo ŋu o, eye womele wo ɖokui hã bum o. Paulo ŋlɔ ɖo ɖe Kristotɔwo be: “Ke ahasiwɔwɔ kple makɔmakɔnyenye katã alo ŋukeklẽ la womagayɔ eŋkɔ gɔ̃ hã le mia dome o, abe alesi wòdze ame kɔkɔewo ene, kple ŋukpenanu kple yakanyagbɔgblɔwo kple atsaƒoƒo, siwo medze o, negbe akpedada boŋ”​—Efesotɔwo 5:​3, 4.

Nyɔnu ƒe dɔdasi tɔtrɔ nɛ eƒe seselelãmewo ŋu mabumabui nye bubumademade nyɔnu ŋu ƒe nuwɔna bubu. Jean si nye dɔnɔdzikpɔla gblɔ be: “Anyo wu ŋutɔ ne wova bia wò susu hafi trɔ dɔ siwo nèwɔna la na wò. Le nyateƒe me la anye nuwɔna si aɖe vi geɖe ŋutɔ. Ehiã be woase veve ɖe nyɔnuwo nu eye woase le wo ɖokui me be asixɔxɔ le yewo ŋu eye wobua yewo.”

Bubudeameŋu le dɔwɔƒe ƒe akpa bubue nye mɔxenu si nyɔnu aɖewo yɔna be “ahũhɔ̃e ƒe xɔdzisasrã.” Esia gɔmee nye dɔwɔƒewo ƒe ameŋkumekpɔkpɔ siwo wotsɔna xea mɔ na nyɔnuwoe be dɔdzikpɔkpɔ ƒe nɔƒe deŋgɔwo mesua wo si le dɔwɔƒe siwo amewo ŋutɔwo ɖo o.” (The New York Times January 3, 1992) Le ema ta la, numekuku aɖe si wowɔ nyitsɔ laa le United States ɖee fia be nɔƒe deŋgɔ ʋee aɖewo koe su nyɔnuwo si, esi nye tso nyɔnu 14 le alafa ɖesiaɖe me le Hawaii kple nyɔnu 18 le alafa ɖesiaɖe me le Utah dzi vaseɖe nyɔnu 39 le alafa ɖesiaɖe me le Louisiana dzi. Ne bubudeameŋu li la, womanɔ te ɖe ŋutsu alo nyɔnu si ame nye dzi adoe ɖe ŋgɔ le dɔwɔƒe o, ke boŋ woanɔ te ɖe eƒe ŋutete kple nuteƒekpɔkpɔ dzi. Numekuha ƒe amegã Sharon Harlan gblɔ be: “Ele kakam ɖe eme ya, gake . . . dɔwɔwɔ ƒe mɔxenu geɖe gali na nyɔnuwo kokoko.”

[Etenuŋɔŋlɔwo]

[Aɖaka si le axa 14]

BUBU Nukae Nyɔnuwo Ate Ŋu Awɔ?

● De BUBU ÐOKUIWÒ ŋu eye nàlé eme ɖe asi

● Na woanya nusi nèdi be woagblɔ ahawɔ le gbɔwò la nyuie

● Ðo agbenɔnɔ kple nuƒo si dze ƒe seɖoƒe nyuiwo

● Mègadze agbagba be yeaʋli ho kple ŋutsuwo le yakanyagbɔgblɔ kple gbegblẽfefewo me o; eɖea wò nyɔnu si ŋu bubu le nyenye dzi kpɔtɔna eye menana woawo hã nyea ŋutsu nyuiwo o

● Eɖanye awudodo kae le tsia dzi o, mègado awu si aɖia amewo nu o; alesi nèdoa awui la ɖea bubu si le ŋuwò la fiana

● Na woade bubu ŋuwò to wò nuwɔna me; tsɔ bubu si nèdina tsoa ŋutsuwo gbɔ la wɔ nu ɖe wo ŋui

● Mèganɔ zɔzɔm kple ŋutsuwo fũ akpa o

BUBU Nukae Ŋutsuwo Ate Ŋu Awɔ?

● Tsɔ bubu kple sisiɖa wɔ nu ɖe nyɔnuwo katã ŋui; mègawɔ na wò be nyɔnu tɔteɖenudzila di be yeagblẽ nu le bubu si le ye ŋu la ŋuti o

● Mia kple nyɔnu si menye srɔ̃wo o miganɔ hatse kam fũ akpa, eye nànɔ lɔlɔ̃ŋkɔ siwo medze o yɔm nɛ o

● Tsri fefe gbegblẽwo kple ahiãmoɖoɖo

● Mèganɔ nyɔnu ƒe nɔnɔme nyuiwo kafum nɛ akpa o, eye mèganɔ asi kam nyɔnu ŋu yakayaka o

● Mègaɖi gbɔ alo ado vlo eƒe dɔ alo eya ametia o

● Bia eƒe susu, ɖo toe, eye náɖo dze kplii le nugɔmesese me

● Kpɔ ŋudzedze ɖe nyɔnua ƒe dɔ ŋu

● Kpe asi ɖe aƒemedɔwo wɔwɔ ŋu. Ne ewɔ na wò be dɔa aɖe bubu si le ye ŋu dzi akpɔtɔ la, ke etɔ ya ɖe?

● Ne dziwòlawo gbɔe miele la, se nyaƒoɖeamenu siwo anɔ srɔ̃wòa dzi la gɔme nɛ. Eyae nye amesi me nàtsɔ ɖe le fifia wu eye ehiã wò kpekpeɖeŋu (Mateo 19:⁠5)