Tɔgbuiwo Kple Mamawo Woƒe Dzidzɔwo Kple Kuxiwo

“Enye dzidzɔ nam be menye tɔgbui! Tɔgbuiyɔviwòwo anɔ gbɔwò evɔ màna akɔnta le wo ŋu loo alo atsɔ woƒe agba o. Àkpɔe be yekpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe woƒe agbenɔnɔ dzi gake menye wòe awɔ nyametsotso mamlɛtɔ o. Wo dzilawoe awɔe.”​—Gene, amesi nye tɔgbui.

NUKAE le tɔgbui alo mama nyenye me si na wogblɔ dzidzɔnya ma? Numekulawo gblɔ be nusiwo sɔ siwo dzilawo ɖona na wo viwo zi geɖe la ate ŋu ana woade vovo ge do kpoe. Zi geɖe le esi tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo meɖoa nusiawo tɔgbewo na wo tɔgbui kple mama yɔviwo o ta la, wo dome nyona eye wovona le wo ɖokui me geɖe wu. Abe alesi Arthur Kornhaber si nye Ðɔkta gblɔe ene la, woate ŋu alɔ̃ wo tɔgbuiyɔviwo alo mamayɔviwo faa “ne wonya le agbe ko.” Mama aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Esther gblɔ be: “Le nye ŋutɔ vinyewo gome la, metsia dzi gbesiagbe ɖe nusianu si wowɔna ŋu. Esi mezu mama la, mevona le ɖokuinye me ne mamayɔvinyewo le gbɔnye eye melɔ̃a wo.”

Nunya kple aɖaŋu geɖe si sua ame si le amegãkuku me hã li. (Hiob 12:​12) Esi tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo meganye sɔhɛ makpɔnuteƒewo o ta la, dzilanyenye ƒe nuteƒekpɔkpɔ geɖe su wo si. Esi wosrɔ̃ nu tso woƒe vodadawo me ta la, woate ŋu akpɔ ɖeviwo gbɔ fifia nyuie wu esime wometsi alea o.

Eyata Ðk. Kornhaber ƒo nya ta be: “Ehiã be ƒomedodo nyui si me lɔlɔ̃ le nanɔ tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo kpakple tɔgbuiyɔviwo kple mamayɔviwo dome bene seselelãme nyui kple dzidzɔ nanɔ dzidzime etɔ̃awo siaa me. Ƒomedodo sia nye dzɔdzɔmedomenyinu na ɖeviwo, . . . enye domenyinu si tsitsiawo gblẽ ɖi si ɖea vi na amesiame le ƒomea me.” Magazine si nye Family Relations gblɔ nya sia ƒomevi be: “Tɔgbui kple mama siwo nya woƒe dɔ eye wowɔnɛ la kpɔa dzidzeme heɖɔa ŋu ɖo geɖe ŋutɔ.”

Tɔgbui alo Mama ƒe Wɔƒe

Wɔƒe ɖevi geɖe li na tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo. Gene gblɔ be: “Woate ŋu ana kpekpeɖeŋu wo vi siwo ɖe srɔ̃. Mekpɔe be le kpekpeɖeŋua nana me la, woate ŋu aɖe kuxi sesẽ siwo dzila makpɔnuteƒeawo ado goe la dzi akpɔtɔ.” Tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo agate ŋu awɔ geɖe akpe ɖe tɔgbui kple mama yɔviawo ŋu tẽ. Zi geɖe la, tɔgbui alo mamae gblɔa ŋutinyawo na ɖevia ale be wònyaa ƒomea ƒe ŋutinya. Enuenu la, tɔgbui kple mamawo wɔa akpa vevi aɖe le ƒomea ƒe subɔsubɔdomenyinu fiafia me.

Le ƒome geɖe me la, tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo nyea aɖaŋuɖola ŋuɖoɖeŋuawo. Jane, amesi míeyɔ le nyati si do ŋgɔ me la gblɔ be: “Ðewohĩ nanewo li ɖeviwo agblɔ na wò evɔ womavo le wo ɖokui me agblɔe na wo dzilawo o.” Dzilawo lɔ̃na zi geɖe be woakpe ɖe yewo ŋu le go sia hã me. Wokpɔe le numekuku aɖe me be, “ƒewuiviawo dometɔ 80 le alafa me bu wo tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo be wonye ame ɖoŋuɖeŋuawo. . . . Tɔgbui kple mama yɔvi tsitsi gbogbo aɖewo naa kadodo nɔa wo kple wo tɔgbui alo mama siwo te ɖe wo ŋu wu dome edziedzi.”

Tɔgbui alo mama lɔ̃ame ate ŋu anye ame vevi ŋutɔŋutɔ aɖe na vi si womete ŋu na dzi ɖo ƒo na nyuie le aƒeme o. Selma Wassermann ŋlɔ be: “Mamanyee nye ame vevitɔ kekeake nam le nye ɖevime. Mamanyee va de asi eme hafi dzi va ɖo ƒonye le agbe me. Eƒe atawo keke wu Miami Ƒuta, eye ne ekɔm ɖe ata dzi la, menɔa dedie. . . . Mamanye gbɔe mesrɔ̃ nusiwo le vevie wu le ɖokuinye ŋu le​—be wolɔ̃m eye be woate ŋu alɔ̃m.”​—The Long Distance Grandmother (Mama si Le Didiƒe).

Ƒomedzrewo

Gake dzrewo kple kuxiwo megbea tɔgbui alo mama nyenye me nɔnɔ o. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, dzila aɖe ɖo ŋku edzi be yehe nya kple ye dada vevie le nu nyuitɔ si wòle be woawɔ be vidzĩ naƒa ŋu. “Ena mía dome gblẽ le ɣeyiɣi si nuwo sesẽ nam wu me.” Eme kɔ be dzila matsimatsiwo nadi be yewo dzilawo nalɔ̃ ɖe alesi yewole yewo viwo nyimee dzi. Eyata aɖaŋu siwo wo dzilawo aɖo menye kple susu vɔ̃ aɖeke o la awɔ abe ɖeklemiɖeɖe tɔame ene.

Ðk. Kornhaber ƒo nu tso dzila eve aɖewo siwo ŋu kuxi nyanyɛ aɖe le ŋu le eƒe agbalẽ si nye Between Parents and Grandparents me. Dzila ɖeka gblɔ be: “Dzinyelawo va nɔa gaglãsu dom ɖe nye nyawo me gbesiagbe, eye etena ɖe wo dzi ne nyemele aƒeme hafi wova o. . . . Womebua ŋunye o​—womebua nye seselelãmewo kple nye ɖokuisinɔnɔ ŋu o.” Dzila bubu to nyatoƒoe be: “Dzinyelawo di be yewoaɖo tɔ ɖe vinyenyɔnuvi suea dzi. Wodi be yewoakpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe Susie dzi le nusianu me ŋkeke bliboa katã. . . . Míele susu wɔm be míaʋu adzo ayi afi bubu.”

Ɣeaɖewoɣi wobua fɔ tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo le alesi wolɔa nunanawo na woƒe tɔgbui kple mama yɔviwo ta. Ele eme baa be dzɔdzɔmenue nunana nye na tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo abe alesi yagbɔgbɔ nyee na wo ene, gake wo dometɔ aɖewo tɔ va glona le go sia me. Gake ɣeaɖewoɣi la, ŋuʋaʋãe nana dzila aɖewo toa nyatoƒoe. (Lododowo 14:​30) Mildred ʋu nya me be: “Dzinyelawo ƒe nya me sẽ eye woƒe asi sẽ ɖe dzinye. Wonyoa dɔme na vinyewo [heɖea mɔ le nuwo ŋu] na woawo ya. Meʋãa ŋu elabena alesi wowɔa nu ɖe ŋunye metrɔ kura o.” Seselelãme alo susu ka ke tae wonaa nu o, nuwo nana ate ŋu ahe kuxiwo vɛ ne tɔgbui alo mama mede bubu dzilaawo ƒe didiwo ŋu o.

Eyata anyo be tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo nadze aɖaŋu le nuwo nana me. Biblia ɖee fia be ne nu nyui gɔ̃ hã va sɔ gbɔ akpa la, meganyona o. (Lododowo 25:​27) Ne mènya nunana siwo asɔ o la, bia dzilaawo. Ne èwɔe alea la, ‘ànya alesi nàna nunana nyuiwo.’​—Luka 11:⁠13.

Lɔlɔ̃ Kple Bubu​—Nu Vevitɔwo!

Ewɔ nublanui be tɔgbui kple mama aɖewo toa nyatoƒoe be womekpɔa ŋudzedze ɖe yewoƒe vidzikpɔkpɔ kple vidzĩgbɔnɔnɔ ŋu o. Bubuwo hã se le wo ɖokui me be womeɖea mɔ le yewoƒe tɔgbui kple mama yɔviwo ŋu na yewo wòsua yewo o. Wo dometɔ bubuwo hã gblɔna be yewovi tsitsiawo megadea nu eme na yewo o evɔ womegblɔ nusi nye kuxia na yewo o. Zi geɖe la, woate ŋu axe mɔ na nya veame siawo ne ƒometɔawo ɖe lɔlɔ̃ kple bubu fia wo nɔewo. Biblia gblɔ be: “Lɔlɔ̃ la gbɔa dzi blewu, eƒe dɔme nyona; lɔlɔ̃ la meʋãa ŋu o, . . . media ye ŋutɔ tɔ o, mebia dzi o . . . Etsɔa nuwo katã kpoo, exɔa nuwo katã sena, ekpɔa mɔ na nuwo katã, edoa dzi le nuwo katã me.”​—Korintotɔwo I, 13:​4, 5, 7.

Tsɔe be ènye dzila si metsi boo o ale be Mama ɖo aɖaŋu alo gblɔ nya aɖe wòtɔ wò evɔ megblɔe kple susu vɔ̃ aɖeke o. Ðe tɔwò dzɔ nyateƒe be ‘nàbi dzia’? Ne èbu eŋu kpɔ la, Biblia ɖee fia be Kristotɔ nyɔnu tsitsiwo ƒe dɔe nye be woafia “ɖetugbiwo, ne woalɔ̃ wo srɔ̃wo kple wo viwo, woanye ɖokuidziɖulawo, ame dzadzɛwo, aƒe me dɔwɔlawo.” (Tito 2:​3-⁠5) Eye ɖe menye nu ɖekae mia kple tɔgbui kple mama miedi oa​—si nye nu nyuitɔ kekeake si ade mia viawo dzi oa? Esi lɔlɔ̃ “media ye ŋutɔ tɔ o” ta la, ɖewohĩ anyo wu be wò susu nanɔ ɖevia ƒe nuhiahiãwo ŋu​—menye wò seselelãmewo ŋu o. Nuwɔwɔ alea akpe ɖe ŋuwò be “miagahe mia nɔewo ade dzrewɔwɔ me” le dzikunya sue ɖesiaɖe ta o.​—Galatiatɔwo 5:​26, NW ƒe etenuŋɔŋlɔ.

Tsɔe be ɖewohĩ èsusu be nu nana ɖevia fũ akpa agblẽe. Gake zi geɖe la, menye susu vɔ̃ aɖeke tae tɔgbui alo mama naa nu o. Ame akpa gãtɔ siwo bi ɖe vidzikpɔkpɔ me lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be alesi nèna hehe viwòa hemlãe la akpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe edzi wu nusi tɔgbui alo mama ava wɔ ɣeaɖeɣi ko. Ðɔkta aɖe ɖo aɖaŋu be: “Eɖea vi ne wote ŋu tsɔa nanewo dea nukokoe me.”

Ne tɔwò dzɔ be vidzikpɔkpɔ ƒe nanewo mesɔ na wò o la, mègaxe mɔ be viwòwo nagagogo dziwòla alo towò kple lɔ̃xowò o. Biblia gblɔ be: “Afisi adaŋudede mele o la, tameɖoɖowo tsia akpo dzi.” (Lododowo 15:​22) Di ‘nyagblɔɣi nyuitɔ’ ale be nàtsɔ moveviɖoɖo adzro nyaa me agblɔ nusi mesɔ na wò o. (Lododowo 15:​23) Zi geɖe la, miate ŋu akpɔ ta na nyaa.

Tɔgbui alo mamae nènyea? Ke bubu dede tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwò dzilawo ŋu le vevie. Ele eme baa be nàdi be yeagblɔe ne èkpɔ be nu agblẽ le ye tɔgbui alo mama yɔvi ŋu. Gake togbɔ be ele dzɔdzɔme nu be nàlɔ̃ tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo ahatsi dzi ɖe wo ŋu hã la, dzilawo ƒe agbanɔamedzie wònye​—menye tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo tɔ o​—be woanyi wo viwo. (Efesotɔwo 6:⁠4) Biblia de se na tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo be woabu wo dzilawo ahaɖo to wo. (Efesotɔwo 6:​1, 2; Hebritɔwo 12:⁠9) Eyata dze agbagba nàtsri aɖaŋuɖoɖo na wo dzilawo ne womebia wò o alo nàtsri woƒe ŋusẽkpɔɖeamedzi wɔwɔ nu tsɛe.​—Tsɔe sɔ kple Tesalonikatɔwo I, 4:⁠11.

Nyateƒee, mele bɔbɔe be nàhe ɖe megbe, azi kpi​—kple ɖewohĩ nàxɔ gbɔgbɔ​—aɖe asi le viwòwo ŋu be woawɔ woƒe dzilanyenye dɔwo o. Gake abe alesi Gene gblɔe ene la, “ne womebia aɖaŋuɖoɖo wò o ko la, ele be nàɖe mɔ ɖe nusi woawo susu be anyo na wo viwo wu la ŋu.” Jane gblɔ be: “Mekpɔa egbɔ be nyemegblɔ be, ‘Aleae wòle be nàwɔe!’ o. Nuwɔwɔ ƒe mɔnu vovovowo li, eye ne èsusuna be yeƒe susu koe nye nyuitɔ la, ate ŋu ahe kuxiwo vɛ.”

Nusi Tɔgbuiwo Kple Mamawo Ate Ŋu Ana

Biblia ɖee fia be yayra wònye tso Mawu gbɔ be tɔgbui kple mama yɔviwo nanɔ ame si. (Psalmo 128:​3-⁠6) Ne ètsɔa ɖe le tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòwo me la, àte ŋu akpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe woƒe agbenɔnɔ dzi ŋutɔ, eye àkpe ɖe wo ŋu be woatu mawuvɔvɔ̃ ƒe nɔnɔmewo ɖo. (Tsɔe sɔ kple Mose V, 32:⁠7.) Le Biblia ƒe ɣeyiɣiwo me la, nyɔnu aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Loide wɔ akpa vevi aɖe kpe ɖe mamaayɔvi Timoteo ŋu wòtsi zu ŋutsu Mawu-vɔ̃la ɖedzesi aɖe. (Timoteo II, 1:⁠5) Wò hã àte ŋu akpɔ dzidzɔ ne tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòwo lɔ̃ xɔ mawuvɔvɔ̃ ƒe hehea.

Azɔ hã àte ŋu anye amesi gbɔ woakpɔ lɔlɔ̃ kple vividodoɖeameŋu si hiã wo la le. Nyateƒee, ɖewohĩ mànye viwɔnamela si ɖea seselelãme fiana kakaka o. Ke hã àte ŋu aɖe mawumelɔlɔ̃ afia hã ne ètsɔa ɖe le tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòwo me vavã ɖokuitɔmadimadii. Agbalẽŋlɔla Selma Wassermann gblɔ be: “Ðetsɔtsɔ le nya si ɖevia le gbɔgblɔm na wò me . . . afia nyateƒe be ètsi dzi ɖe eŋu. Toɖola nyui nyenye, nya maxɔmaxɔ le enu, ɖeklemimaɖemaɖe​—wo katã fia bubudedeameŋu, numalɔ̃malɔ̃leamegbɔ, asixɔxɔdedeameŋu.” Le tɔgbui alo mama yɔvi gome la, ɖetsɔtsɔ le eyama me lɔlɔ̃tɔe alea nye nu nyuitɔ kekeake siwo tɔgbui alo mama ate ŋu ana dometɔ ɖeka.

Vaseɖe fifia la, tɔgbui kple mama nyenye ƒe wɔƒe nyanyɛawo ŋu koe míaƒe numedzodzroa ku ɖo. Gake agbanɔamedzi si gakpe wu dze ŋgɔ egbe tɔgbui kple mama geɖe.

[Nya si ɖe dzesi si le axa 16]

“Mamanye gbɔe mesrɔ̃ nusiwo le vevie wu le ɖokuinye ŋu le​—be wolɔ̃m eye be woate ŋu alɔ̃m”

[Aɖaka si le axa 16]

Aɖaŋuɖoɖowo na Tɔgbui Kple Mama Siwo Le Didiƒe

• Na dzilaawo naɖo tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo ƒe foto alo video ɖe wò.

• Lé wò nyawo ɖe kasɛt dzi nàɖo ɖe tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo abe “lɛta” ene. Le ɖevi suewo gome la, wò ŋutɔ àte ŋu axlẽ Biblia me ŋutinyawo alo adzi ɖevinublehawo alé ɖe kasɛt dzi aɖo ɖe wo.

• Ðo lɛtawo kple nyuidinamegbalẽviwo ɖe tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo. Ne wòanya wɔ la, minɔ agbalẽ ŋlɔm na mia nɔewo edziedzi.

• Ne àte ŋui la, na kadodo nanɔ mia kple tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo dome to kaƒoƒo na wo tso didiƒe me. Ne èle nu ƒom na ɖevi suewo la, bia nya bɔbɔe aɖewo nàtsɔ adze dzeɖoɖo gɔmee, abe, “Nukae nèɖu ŋdi sia?”

• Ne anya wɔ la, yi nàsrã wo kpɔ enuenu, gake wòanɔ kpuie.

• Wɔ ɖoɖo kple tɔgbui alo mama yɔviwòawo dzilawo be woaɖi tsa va aƒewò me. Wɔ ɖoɖo ɖe dzidzɔdonuwo ŋu, abe lãkpɔƒewo kple blemanudzraɖoƒewo yiyi, kpakple tsaɖiɖi le abɔwo me ene.

[Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 15]

Tɔgbui kple mama geɖe kpea asi ɖe wo tɔgbui kple mama yɔviwo dzi kpɔkpɔ ŋu

[Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 17]

Ate ŋu adzɔ be woahe nya le vinyinyimɔnuwo ŋu

[Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 17]

Tɔgbuiwo kple mamawo wɔa akpa aɖe le ƒomeŋutinya gbɔgblɔ me zi geɖe