Kuika Malowolo Otsika

Lerolino, monga momwe zinalili m’nthaŵi za Baibulo, miyambo ina imafuna kuti mwamuna azipereka malowolo asanakwatire mkazi. “Ndidzakutumikirani inu zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri chifukwa cha Rakele mwana wanu wamkazi wamng’ono,” anatero Yakobo pouza mpongozi wake wamtsogolo, Labani. (Genesis 29:18) Chifukwa chakuti Yakobo anakonda Rakele, iye analonjeza kupereka malowolo okwera​—chofanana ndi malipiro a zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri! Labani analola zimenezo koma anachita chinyengo kwa Yakobo chomwe chinapangitsa kuti choyamba Yakoboyo akwatire Leya, mwana wamkulu wa Labani. Labani anapitirizabe kuchitira Yakobo zachinyengo. (Genesis 31:41) Kukonda chuma kwa Labani kunapangitsa kuti ana ake aakazi asiye kumlemekeza. Iwo anafunsa kuti: “Kodi satiyesa ife alendo? Chifukwa anatigulitsa ife, nathanso kuwononga ndalama zathu.”​—Genesis 31:15.

Nzachisoni kuti m’dziko lamakono lokonda chumali, makolo ambiri ngofanana ndi Labani. Ndipo ena akuposa pamenepo. Malinga nkunena kwa nyuzipepala ina ya ku Afirika, maukwati ena amalinganizidwa “kokha chifukwa chakuti makolo adyerawo akufuna kupezerapo chuma.” Umphaŵi umapangitsanso kuti makolo ena aziona ana awo aakazi monga chopezerapo ndalama.a

Makolo ena amaletsa ana awo kukwatiwa chifukwa choyembekezera kupeza mwamuna amene adzapereka malowolo okwera koposa. Zimenezi zingapangitse mavuto aakulu. Mtolankhani wa nyuzipepala ina kummaŵa kwa Afirika analemba kuti: “Achinyamata amangotengana chifukwa choopa malowolo okwera amene apongozi adyera amafuna.” Chisembwere ndi limodzi mwa mavuto amene amachitika chifukwa chakuti makolo ena amafuna malowolo okwera. Ndiponso, anyamata ena amatha kugula mkazi koma pomalizira pake amagwa m’ngongole yaikulu. “Makolo sayenera kupambanitsa,” analimbikitsa motero wogwira ntchito yothandiza anthu wa ku South Africa. “Asamafune ndalama zambiri. Anthu ongokwatirana kumenewo amafunanso ndalama zoti ziziwathandiza . . . Choncho, nkutheranji ndalama za mnyamatayo?”

Kodi ndi motani mmene makolo achikristu angaperekere chitsanzo cha kusapambanitsa pamene akufuna kupereka kapena kulandira malowolo? Nkhani imeneyi njofunika kuiganizira mofatsa, chifukwa chakuti Baibulo limalamula kuti: “Kufatsa kwanu kuzindikirike ndi anthu onse.”​—Afilipi 4:5.

Mapulinsipulo a Baibulo Othandiza

Kaya makolo achikristu angafune kapena sangafune malowolo ndi chosankha chaumwini. Ngati asankha kupatsidwa malowolo, makambitsirano amenewo ayenera kuchitika mogwirizana ndi mapulinsipulo a m’Baibulo. “Mtima wanu ukhale wosakonda chuma,” amatero Mawu a Mulungu. (Ahebri 13:5) Ngati pulinsipulo limeneli silitsatiridwa pokambitsirana za ukwati, ndiye kuti kholo lachikristulo lingadzisonyeze kuti silikupereka chitsanzo chabwino. Amuna okhala ndi maudindo mumpingo wachikristu ayenera kukhala ‘ofatsa,’ osati ‘okonda chuma’ kapena “a chisiriro chonyansa.” (1 Timoteo 3:3, 8) Mkristu amene amafuna malowolo okwera mwadyera ndiponso mosalapa athanso kuchotsedwa mumpingo wachikristu.​—1 Akorinto 5:11, 13; 6:9, 10.

Chifukwa cha mavuto omwe amadza chifukwa cha dyera, maboma ena anakhazikitsa malamulo amene amaika malire a malowolo. Mwachitsanzo, m’dziko la Togo, ku West Africa, muli lamulo lakuti anthu “angapereke katundu kapena ndalama kapenanso kupereka zonse ziŵirizo” monga malowolo. Lamulolo limawonjezeranso kuti: “Mtengo wake suyenera kuposa ndalama zokwana 10,000 F CFA (US$20.00).” Baibulo limalamula Akristu mobwerezabwereza kuti ayenera kukhala nzika zomvera malamulo a boma. (Tito 3:1) Ngakhale ngati boma silinakhazikitse malamulo otero, Mkristu woona adzafunikira kumverabe. Choncho, iye adzakhala ndi chikumbumtima chabwino pamaso pa Mulungu ndipo sadzakhumudwitsa ena.​—Aroma 13:1, 5; 1 Akorinto 10:32, 33.

Kodi Ndani Amene Ayenera Kuyendetsa Zokambitsiranazo?

M’madera ena, njira yokambitsirana za malowolo ingakhale yosemphana ndi pulinsipulo lofunika. Malinga nkunena kwa Baibulo, atate ndiye ali ndi udindo woyendetsa zonse za m’banja lake. (1 Akorinto 11:3; Akolose 3:18, 20) Choncho, anthu amene ali ndi maudindo mumpingo ayenera kukhala amuna “akuweruza bwino ana awo, ndi iwo a m’nyumba yawo ya iwo okha.”​—1 Timoteo 3:12.

Komabe, m’madera ena nkhani zokhudza malowolo zimayendetsedwa ndi achibale ake a mutu wa banja. Ndipo achibale ameneŵa angafune kulandira mbali ya malowolo amenewo. Zimenezi zimapereka chiyeso m’mabanja achikristu. Ponamizira mwambo wa m’deralo, mitu ina ya mabanja imavomereza achibale awo osakhulupirira kunena malowolo okwera. Zimenezi nthaŵi zina zapangitsa mtsikana wachikristu kukwatiwa ndi mwamuna wosakhulupirira. Zimenezo nzosemphana ndi uphungu wakuti Akristu ayenera kukwatiwa “mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akorinto 7:39) Mutu wa banja amene amalola achibale osakhulupirira kuti apange zosankha zimene zingasokoneze mkhalidwe wauzimu wa ana ake sangalingaliridwe kukhala “woweruza bwino nyumba yake ya iye yekha.”​—1 Timoteo 3:4.

Monga momwe linachitira kholo loopa Mulungulo Abrahamu, bwanji ngati atate wachikristu satengamo mbali pazokambitsirana za ukwati wa mwana wake? (Genesis 24:2-4) Ngati wina wauzidwa kuti achite zimenezi, atate wachikristuyo ayenera kuonetsetsa kuti wochita zimenezoyo adzatsatira malangizo amene ali ogwirizana ndi mapulinsipulo abwino a m’Baibulo. Ndiponso, asanayambe kukambitsirana za malowolowo, makolo achikristu ayenera kumachita zinthu molingalira bwino osati kungotengeka ndi miyambo ndi zikhumbo zosayenera.​—Miyambo 22:3.

Kupeŵa Mikhalidwe Yosemphana ndi Chikristu

Baibulo limatsutsa kunyada ndi “matamandidwe a moyo.” (1 Yohane 2:16; Miyambo 21:4) Koma anthu ena a mumpingo wachikristu amasonyezabe mikhalidwe imeneyi pokambitsirana za malowolo. Ena amatsanzira dziko mwa kudzionetsera popereka kapena kulandira malowolo okwera. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, imodzi mwa maofesi anthambi a Watch Tower Society ku Afirika inati: “Amuna ena sasonyeza ulemu ngati banja lipempha malowolo otsika, ndipo amanyoza akazi awo mwa kuwaona monga kuti anawagula pamtengo ‘wambuzi.’”

Akristu ena atengeka ndi dyera lofuna malowolo okwera ndipo zimenezi zadzetsa mavuto aakulu. Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani zimene ofesi ina yanthambi ya Watch Tower Society inanena kuti: “Nthaŵi zambiri abale omwe ndi mbeta amavutika kuti akwatire kapena alongo kuti apeze amuna. Chotsatirapo chake nchakuti achinyamata omawonjezereka akuchotsedwa chifukwa cha chisembwere. Abale ena amapita kumigodi kukafunafuna golidi kapena madiamondi kuti atakagulitsa akapeze ndalama zokwatirira. Zimenezi zimawatengera mwina chaka chimodzi kapena zaka ziŵiri kapenanso zaka zochulukirapo, ndipo nthaŵi zambiri amafooka mwauzimu chifukwa chakuti amatalikirana ndi gulu la abale ndi mpingo.”

Pofuna kupeŵa zinthu zomvetsa chisonizi, makolo achikristu ayenera kutsanzira chitsanzo cha anthu ofikapo mumpingo. Ngakhale kuti mtumwi Paulo sanali kholo, iye anali kulingalira bwino pochita zinthu ndi okhulupirira anzake. Ankapeŵa kusenzetsa anzake katundu wolemera. (Machitidwe 20:33) Ndithudi, makolo achikristu ayenera kulingalira za chitsanzo chake chopanda dyerachi pamene akukambitsirana za malowolo. Inde, Paulo anauziridwa ndi Mulungu kulemba kuti: “Abale, khalani pamodzi akutsanza anga, ndipo yang’anirani iwo akuyenda kotero monga muli ndi ife chitsanzo chanu.”​—Afilipi 3:17.

Zitsanzo za Kuchita Zinthu Molingalira Bwino

Ponena za kukambitsirana za ukwati, makolo ambiri achikristu apereka chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha kuchita zinthu molingalira bwino. Talingalirani za Joseph ndi mkazi wake, Mae, amene akutumikira monga alaliki anthaŵi zonse.b Iwo amakhala pa chimodzi mwa zisumbu za Solomon Islands kumene nthaŵi zina nkhani ya malowolo imakhala yovuta. Pofuna kupeŵa mavuto ameneŵa, Joseph ndi Mae analinganiza kuti mwana wawo wamkazi Helen akakwatiwe pachisumbu china chapafupi. Anachitanso chimodzimodzi pa mwana wawo wina wamkazi, Esther. Joseph anavomeranso kuti mkamwini wake Peter apereke malowolo otsika kwambiri. Atafunsidwa chifukwa chimene anachitira zimenezi, Joseph anati: “Sindinafune kusenzetsa katundu wolemera mkamwini wanga amene ndi mpainiya.”

Mboni zambiri za Yehova ku Afirika zasonyezanso chitsanzo chabwino cha kulingalira bwino. M’madera ena anthu a m’banja lapachibale kaŵirikaŵiri amayembekezera kupatsidwa ndalama zambiri asanayambe kukambitsirana za malowolo enieniwo. Ndipo kuti akwatire, mkwati angafunikirenso kulonjeza kuti adzalipirira malowolo mlamu wake wamng’ono akadzafuna kukwatira mtsogolo.

Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, talingalirani za chitsanzo cha Kossi ndi mkazi wake, Mara. Mwana wawo wamkazi, Beboko, posachedwapa anakwatiwa ndi woyang’anira woyendayenda wa Mboni za Yehova. Asanakwatirane, achibale anakakamiza makolo ameneŵa kuti alandire malowolo okwera kuti agaŵane. Komabe, makolowo anachirimika ndipo sanagwirizane nazo zimenezo. M’malo mwake, anakambitsirana mwachindunji ndi mkamwini wawo wamtsogoloyo, kumpempha kuti apereke malowolo otsika kaamba ka mwana wawo wamkazi ndipo kenaka anabweza theka la malowolowo kwa ofuna kukwatiranawo kuti agulire zofunika patsiku la ukwati wawo.

Chitsanzo china cha m’dziko lomwelo nchokhudza Mboni yachinyamata yotchedwa Itongo. Poyambirira, a m’banja lake anafuna malowolo otsika. Koma achibale ananena kuti awonjezere malowolowo. Zinthu zinavuta kwambiri, ndipo achibale ameneŵa anatsala pang’ono kupatsidwa zimene ankafunazo. Ngakhale kuti iye ngwamanyazi mwachibadwa, Itongo anaimirira ndipo anafotokoza mwaulemu kuti anatsimikiza mtima kukwatiwa ndi Mkristu wokangalika wotchedwa Sanze, malinga nzimene zinali zitalinganizidwa kale. Kenaka iye anafotokoza molimba mtima kuti, “Mbi ke” (kutanthauza kuti, “Nkhani yatha”) nakhala pansi. Iye anathandizidwa ndi mayi wake wachikristu, Sambeko. Makambitsiranowo anathera pomwepo, ndipo iwo anakwatirana monga momwe analinganizira poyambirira.

Makolo achikondi achikristu amadera nkhaŵa kwambiri zinthu zina kuposa kupindula ndi malowolo. Mwamuna wina ku Cameroon anati: “Apongozi anga aakazi amandiuza kuti chilichonse chimene ineyo ndinafuna kuwapatsa monga malowolo, ndiyenera kuchigwiritsira ntchito posamalira zosoŵa za mwana wawo wamkazi.” Makolo achikondi amaderanso nkhaŵa za mkhalidwe wauzimu wa ana awo. Mwachitsanzo, talingalirani za Farai ndi Rudo, omwe amakhala ku Zimbabwe ndipo amathera nthaŵi yawo yambiri m’ntchito ya kulalikira uthenga wabwino wa Ufumu wa Mulungu. Ngakhale kuti sagwira ntchito yolembedwa, mosiyana ndi mwambo umene ambiri m’dzikolo amatsatira, iwo analandira malowolo otsika kwambiri paukwati wa ana awo aŵiri aakazi. Chifukwa chake? Iwo anafuna kuti ana awowo akwatiwe ndi amuna amene amakondadi Yehova. “Tinaona kuti zimene zili zofunika kwambiri ndizo mkhalidwe wauzimu wa ana athuwo ndiponso akamwini athu,” iwo anafotokoza motero. Zimenezo nzotonthoza chotani nanga! Apongozi amene amadera nkhaŵa mkhalidwe wauzimu ndi wakuthupi wa ana awo okwatira kapena okwatiwa tiyenera kuwayamikira kwambiri.

Mapindu a Kuchita Zinthu Molingalira Bwino

Joseph ndi Mae a ku Solomon Islands anadalitsidwa chifukwa choyendetsa za ukwati wa ana awo aakazi molingalira bwino ndiponso mosamalitsa. Choncho, akamwini awo sanagwe m’ngongole. M’malo mwake, mabanja onse aŵiriwo atha zaka zambiri m’ntchito ya nthaŵi zonse yolalikira uthenga wa Ufumu. Pokumbukira zakale, Joseph akuti: “Zosankha zimene ineyo ndi banja langa tinapanga zadzetsa madalitso ochuluka. Zoonadi, nthaŵi zina anthu amene sankamvetsetsa anali kutikakamiza kuchita zomwe sitikufuna, koma ndili ndi chikumbumtima chabwino ndiponso ndili wokondwa poona ana anga akutanganidwa ndiponso ali olimba potumikira Yehova. Iwonso ali okondwa, ndipo ine ndi mkazi wanga tili okondwa kwambiri.”

Phindu lina ndilo ubale wabwino pakati pa apongozi. Mwachitsanzo, Zondai ndi Sibusiso amatumikira monga antchito odzifunira pamodzi ndi akazi awo, ndipo akaziwo mpachibale mwakuthupi, panthambi ya ku Zimbabwe ya Watch Tower Society. Mpongozi wawo, Dakarai, ndi mlaliki wanthaŵi zonse ndipo sagwira ntchito yolembedwa. Pamene anali kukambitsirana za malowolo, atatewo anafotokoza kuti adzalandira chilichonse chimene angathe kuwapatsa. “Timawakonda kwambiri apongozi athuwa,” akutero Zondai ndi Sibusiso, “ndipo tingachite chilichonse chimene tingathe pofuna kuwathandiza atasoŵa zinthu zina.”

Inde, kuchita zinthu molingalira bwino pokambitsirana za malowolo kumathandizira kudzetsa chimwemwe m’banja. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ongokwatirana kumenewo sadzagwera m’ngongole, ndipo zimenezi zimawathandiza kuti azoloŵere mosavuta moyo wa m’banja. Zimenezi zathandiza achinyamata okwatirana ambiri kulondola madalitso auzimu, monga kutumikira kwa nthaŵi zonse m’ntchito yofunika kwambiri yolalikira ndi kupanga ophunzira. Ndipo zimenezi zimalemekeza Woyambitsa ukwati wachikondiyo, Yehova Mulungu.​—Mateyu 24:14; 28:19, 20.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 27]

ANABWEZA MALOWOLO

M’madera ena, mkwatibwi ndi makolo ake amanyozedwa ngati alandira malowolo otsika. Choncho, kunyada ndi chikhumbo chopangitsa banja kuti lioneke ngati lapamwamba ndizo zimene nthaŵi zina zimapangitsa anthu kufuna malowolo okwera. Banja lina ku Lagos, Nigeria, linachita zinthu zosangalatsa zosiyana ndi zimene ena amachita. Mkamwini wawo, Dele, akufotokoza kuti:

“A m’banja la mkazi wanga anandimasula pa zinthu zofuna ndalama zambiri zokhudza malowolo chimene anthu a m’derali amachita, monga kugula zovala zokwera mtengo. Ngakhale pamene a m’banja langa anawapatsa malowolo, nkhoswe yawo inafunsa kuti: ‘Kodi mukufuna kutenga mtsikanayu monga mkazi kapena monga mwana wanu?’ A m’banja langa anayankhira pamodzi kuti: ‘Tikufuna kumtenga monga mwana wathu.’ Kenaka anatibwezera malowolowo mu envulopu imodzimodziyo.

“Mpaka lerolino, ndimayamikira kwambiri chifukwa cha mmene apongozi anga anayendetsera ukwati wathu. Zinandipangitsa kuti ndiziwalemekeza kwambiri. Kaonedwe kawo kabwino kauzimu kamandipangitsa kuti ndiziwaona monga achibale anga enieni. Zimenezo zinasonkhezeranso kwambiri mmene ndimaonera mkazi wanga. Ndimamkonda kwambiri chifukwa cha zimene a m’banja lake anandichitira. Tikasemphana maganizo, ndimangoichepetsa nkhaniyo. Ndikangokumbukira za banja limene iye anachokera, mkanganowo umatheratu pomwepo.

“Pali ubwenzi waukulu pakati pa a m’banja langa ndi a m’banja lake. Ngakhale tsopano lino, pamene papita zaka ziŵiri titakwatirana, atate wanga amatumizabe mphatso ndi zakudya kubanja la mkazi wanga.”