Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Ndimotani Mmene Ndingakanire Kugonana kwa Ukwati Usanakhale?

DZIKO lathu nlokhathamiritsidwa ndi chisembwere chakugonana, ndipo pali chisonkhezero chachikulu chooti inu mukhale ndi phande. Chikhalirechobe, achichepere ochuluka akuwona zotulukapo zopweteka za kugonana kwa ukwati usanakhale ndipo akudzifunira kanthu kena kabwinopo. Mapendedwe a mtundu wonsewo ochitidwa ndi magazinewo ’Teen anavumbula kuti nkhani yaikulu koposa ponena za imene achichepere amafuna chidziwitso inali ponena za: “Mmene mungakanire chitsenderezo cha zakugonana.” Kodi zimenezi zitanthauza kuti miyezo ya makhalidwe abwino Yabaibulo ponena za kudzisungira njapamwamba kosakhoza kufikiridwa? Kutalitali! Achichepere zikwi zochuluka akhalabe oyera mwachipambano.

“Mnyamata [msungwana] adzayeretsa mayendedwe ake bwanji?” ndilo funso lofunika lopezeka pa Masalmo 119:9. Yankho nlakuti: “Akawasamalira monga mwa mawu [a Mulungu].” Koma zochuluka nzofunika koposa chidziwitso chammutu chokhacho. “Mumadziwa m’maganizo mwanu chimene Baibulo limanena ponena za chisembwere cha kugonana,” anaulula motero mkazi wina wachichepere. “Koma mtima wanu umapitirizabe kukankhira zifukwa zimenezi pambali m’maganizo mwanu.” Moyenelera, wamasalmoyo anapitirizabe kumati: “Ndinawabisa mawu anu mumtima mwanga, kuti ndisalakwire Inu.”—Salmo 119:11.

Tetezerani Mtima

Kuwona mawu a Mulungu kukhala ofunika m’moyo wanu kumafunikiritsa choyamba kuti muwerenge ndi kuphunzira Malemba ndi mabukhu ozikidwa pa Baibulo. Zimenezi zimakuthandizani kukhala wokhutira kuti malamulo a Mulungu ali amtengo wapatali kwenikweni kwa inu, chuma. Mpambo uno wakuti, “Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . . ,” walembedwera kukuthandizani kukulitsa chiyamikiro choterocho. Kodi mumawerenga nkhani iriyonse mosamalitsa?

Kumbali ina, nkhani zodzutsa chilakolako cha kugonana zimene wina amawerenga, kumvetsera, kapena kuwona kaamba ka zosangulutsa zidzadzutsa ‘chilakolako cha kugonana.’ (Akolose 3:5) Kanizani kotheratu nkhani zoterozo! Mmalo mwake sinkhasinkhani pa zinthu zimene ziri zoyera ndipo mudzachepetsa chikhumbo cha mtima wanu cha zosangulutsa za kugonana.

Mokondweretsa, mafufuzidwe asonyeza kuti mabwenzi aponda apa mpondepo kwambiri a wachichepere ali ndi chisonkhezero chachikulu pa kuti kaya iye akukhala woyera kapena ayi. Chotero, awo omwe akufuna kutetezera mitima yawo adzalabadira mawu a wamasalmoyo akuti: “Ine ndine wakuyanjana nawo onse akukuwopani [Mulungu], ndi iwo akusamalira malangizo anu.”—Salmo 119:63.

Kodi mabwenzi anu ali awo amene amayesayesadi ‘kusunga malamulo a Mulungu’? Joanna, mkazi wachichepere yemwe anaphunzira kukana, anasimba chimene chinamthandiza: “Ngati muli pafupi ndi anthu amene amakonda Yehova, mumapeza kuti, pamene mulankhula ponena za makhalidwe abwino, mumayamba kulingalira m’njira imodzimodzi monga momwe amalingalirira. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumawamva akumanena kuti chisembwere nchonyansa, inu mumayamba kulingalira mofananamo. Kumbali ina, ngati muli pafupi ndi wina wake yemwe samasamala, mwamsanga kwambiri mudzafikira kukhala wofanana nayedi.”—Miyambo 13:20.

Pamene kuli kwakuti nkofunika kwambiri kutetezera zimene zimalowa mumtima mwanu, kawirikawiri achichepere amafikira pophatikizidwa m’chisembwere pamene ayamba kuwonongera nthawi yaikulu ali okha ndi wina wake waziwalo zosiyana zogonanira. Maphunziro a mtundu wonsewo ochitidwa ndi Robert Sorensen anapeza kuti 56 peresenti ya amuna achichepere ofufuzidwa ndi 82 peresenti ya akazi anagonanapo kwanthawi yoyamba ndi wina wake yemwe mwina mwake ankayendera limodzi mokhazikika kapena pafupifupi anadziwana naye bwino lomwe ndi yemwe anakonda kwambiri. Chotero ngati muli wachikulire mokwanira kuti mukwatire, kodi ndimotani mmene mungafikire podziwana bwinopo ndi wina wake ndi kukhalabe woyera?

Kupewa Mbuna Potomerana

Pamene awiri ayamba kuwonana wina ndi mnzake, mitima yawo mwamsanga ingathe kufikira pomamatirana. Komabe, Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Mtima ndiwo wonyenga koposa, ndi wosachiritsika, ndani angathe kuudziwa?” (Yeremiya 17:9) Wina angalingalire kukhala akumakopedwera kwa wina wake moyenerera kotheratu. Koma pamene mukhalira pafupi kwanthawi yaitali ndi wina ndi mnzake, ndipamenenso kukopekako kumakhala kwakukulu. Ndimo mmene tinapangidwira. Komabe, chikhumbo chachibadwa chimenechi chingasocheze mtima wanu. “Mumtima muchokera maganizo oipa, . . . zachigololo,” anatero Yesu Kristu. (Mateyu 15:19) Kupewa zimenezo kumafunikiritsa kuti inu mutsogoze mtima wanu koposa ndi kuti uwo ukutsogolereni. Kodi ndimotani mmene mungachitire izi?—Miyambo 23:19.

NKHANI YA KULANKHULIRANA: “Mwa kudzikuza wina amangochititsa mkangano, koma ndi awo okambitsirana pamodzi pali nzeru.” (Miyambo 13:10, NW) Kaŵirikaŵiri amamvetsetsana molakwika ponena za chimene aliyense amayembekezera ponena zisonyezero za chikondi. Mwakaŵirikaŵiri, mwamuna angalingalire kuti mkazi akumuyembekezera kuti ayambe kumpsopsona ndi kumgwiragwira, pamene m’chenicheni mkaziyo sangakhale akumatero. Chotero, chitani kuti munthu winayo adziwe mmene inu mumalingalirira ponena za nkhanizo mwa “kukambitsirana pamodzi.” Koma mosasamala kanthu za mmene wina angalingalirire, mwanzeru chepetsani mawu osonyeza chikondi. Panthawi imodzimodziyo musapereke zisonyezero zosanganikirana. Kuvala zovala zothina, zosonyeza mkati, zauchisembwere zingapereke uthenga wolakwika kwa mnzanuyo.

PENYETSETSANI MOSAMALITSA MIKHALIDWE: Baibulo limatiuza ponena za namwali wina yemwe anaitanidwa ndi bwenzi lake lachinyamata kukawongola miyendo kwa okha m’mapiri kumene onse awiriwo akanasangala ndi kukongolala kwa nthawi yoyambilira ya m’nyundo. Komabe, abale a msungwanayo anadzazindikira ndipo analetsa mwaukali malinganizidwe a awiriwo. Sikuti iwo analingalira kuti msungwanayo anali wachisembwere, koma kuti anadziwa mphamvu ya chiyeso pansi pa mikhalidwe yoteroyo. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 1:6; 2:8-15; 8:10) Mosasamala kanthu za zifukwa zimene mtima wanu wonyenga ukuyerekezera, pewani kukhala nokha ndi wina wake wosiyana naye ziwalo m’nyumba, chipinda, kapena m’galimoto yoimikidwa kumalo ena ake muli nokha.

DZIWANI ZOPEREWERA ZANU: Pali nthawi pamene inu mungakhale mkhole wosavuta koposerapo wa kunyengeza kwa za kugonana koposa panthawi zina. Mungakhale mutakhwethemulitsidwa maganizo chifukwa cha kulephera kwaumwini kapena kusamvana ndi ena, mwinamwake ndi makolo anu. Mkati mwanthawi zoterozo inu mudzafunikira kukhala wosamala mwapadera. Ndiponso, khalani wosamala ponena za kugwiritsira ntchito kwanu zakumwa zoledzeretsa. Pansi pa chisonkhezero cha zimenezi, mungathe kutaikiridwa ndi kudziletsa kwanu. “Vinyo, ndi vinyo watsopano, zichotsa mtima.”—Hoseya 4:11.

KANANI MOWONA MTIMA: Kodi nchiyani chimene aŵiri angachite pamene kunyanyuka kukula ndipo akudzipeza iwo eni kukhala akumakondana moika moyo pachiswe? Mmodzi wa iwo ayenera kukana kapena kuchita kanthu kena kamene kadzathetsa mkhalidwewo. Mkazi wina wachichepere wotchedwa Debra anadzipeza iyemwini ali yekha ndi bwenzi lake lachinyamata, limene linaimika galimoto kumalo a okhaokha kuti “alankhulane.” Pamene kunyanyuka kunayamba kukula, Debra anati kwa bwenzi lakelo: “Kodi kumeneku sikukupatirana? Kodi sitiyenera kusiya?” Zimenezo zinathetsa chochitikacho. Mnyamatayo mwamsanga anawayendetsa pagalimoto kupita kunyumba. Kukana m’mikhalidwe yoteroyo kungakhale chinthu chovuta koposa chimene munayenera kuchitapo ndi kale lonse, koma monga momwe mkazi wina wazaka 20 zakubadwa yemwe anachita chigololo adanenera kuti: “Ngati simuchoka, zidzakuipirani!”

KHALANI NDI WOPEREKEZA: Ngakhale kuli kwakuti akunyalanyazidwa m’maiko ena, woperekeza amafunikira mokakamiza mu ena. “Kukuwonekera ngati kuti sitingathe kudaliridwa,” amadandaula motero achichepere ena. Saali inu yemwe sangathe kudaliridwa, ndiwo mtima wanu! Miyambo 28:26 akufotokoza mwachimvekere kuti: “Wokhulupirira mtima wakewake ali wopusa; koma woyenda mwanzeru adzapulumuka.” Yendani mwanzeru mwa kukhala ndi wina wake wogwirizana nanu popita kutali ndi bwenzi lanu. “Ndimalemekezadi mnzanga yemwe amabwera ndi woperekeza wake. Ndikudziwa kuti iye ali wokondweretsedwadi mkukhala woyera monga momwe ndiliri ine,” anavumbula motero Debra. “Sizimavuta konse, pakuti pamene tifuna kuti tikambitsirane kanthu kena mwamtseri, timangoima patali pang’ono kuti tisamvedwe ndi ena. Chitetezo chimene kumabweretsa nchamtengo wapatali kwambiri koposa zoipa zirizonse.”

Komabe, kodi nchiyani chimene chiri chithandizo chachikulu koposa mkukhala woyera?

Ubwenzi ndi Mulungu

Kaŵirikaŵiri inu mungaleke kuchita kanthu kena kakutikakuti chifukwa cha kusafuna kuvulaza malingaliro a bwenzi. Mofananamo, kukulitsa ubwenzi wathithithi ndi Mulungu, mukumamlingalira kukhala munthu weniweni wokhala ndi malingaliro, kudzakuthandizani kupewa kudzisungira komwe kumamkwiyitsa. Kutsanulira mtima wanu kwa iye ponena za mavuto achiwonekere kumakubweretsani pafupi ndi iye. Aŵiriaŵiri ochuluka ofuna kukhalabe oyera apempherera ngakhale pamodzi kwa Mulungu mkati mwa mikhalidwe ya kunyanyuka mwamalingaliro ndi kupempha kuti iye awapatse nyonga yofunikayo.

Yehova amayankha mwa kupatsa oterowo ‘nyonga yoposa yachibadwa.’ (2 Akorinto 4:7) Inu, ndithudi, muyenera kuchita mbali yanu. Chikhalirechobe, tsimikizirani kuti mwachithandizo ndi dalitso la Mulungu, kuli kotheka kukana chisembwere cha kugonana.

[Chithunzi patsamba 16]

Potomerana, pewani chisembwere mwa kusadzilekanitsa inu eni ndi ena